Man sorry to hear on top of everything else you are going through. I would take your time and really think this over. You aren't in a rush and this is life changing stuff. I assure you my life has changed substantially, although it is mostly something I can live with now I have no guarantee it stays this way and most of the factors that impact change are not in my control.
Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
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If I understand your situation you are sharing your wife with other men sexually but you also have sex with her. That seems to be something you guys could just stop doing.
Kink aside, I think this lifestyle is a great way for couples to address their sexual satisfaction in a healthy way and I commend the compersion of the cuck and stag husbands when they see their wives happy.
Sexual satisfaction is very important for women to lead a happy life. And Bulls can fill that gap (pun intended).
I have decades long relationships with cuck hubbies and their wives who are very appreciative of me being in their life, and that’s special. And being a man doesn’t mean having a big dick or rock hardons, it means that you have the compersion, love and understanding to get your wife what she needs with the right people. Especially in the setting of uncontrollable physical limitations.
Well let's flip roles for a moment. Imagine your wife says she wants to see you have a three some with 2 women. To test the waters you find a woman, sleep with her a few times and have a threesome with your wife. The new woman is hot and way younger than you and treats you like a king, totally into you, wants a relationship, introduces you to her friends and coworkers as her new guy and gives you around the clock sex, no matter how or where she is on you. You explore things you never thought possible and your wife joins you for threesomes. You spend endless hours with this girl doing fun stuff, dates, travel etc as well as having one on one sex with this girl until you are sore. Your wife is totally cool with it and you get deeper into the relationship and feelings grow strong. You become very accustomed to having sex 15 to 20 times a week with her and still manage to sleep with your wife a few times one on one and slide in the occasional threesome. Then the music stops and your wife, whose idea this was in the first place, tells you it was fun but time to stop as she changed her mind again.
Its not that simple to "just stop".
Just to be clear I was talking about my testominal in that post and for many men the psychologial aspects or the abuse of distractions like heavy masturbation is the case.
I understand your issue is quite physical and I hope that you will be able to recover or find new ways to deal with soon. Anyways, opening up the sexual relationship you have with your wife will be risky even in the presence of a understanding and friendly man. So, my opinion is that you might have to be careful. Chew your trials bit to a bit, perhaps you might take some pictures with your wife and try some exhibitionism first. See how you both feel with other men dirty talking over her body, for example.
I don't disagree with you! Once you become accustomed to what was originally intended as an enhancement, giving it up feels like you're losing a necessity not an enhancement. That's natural for anything and not limited to sex.
Imagine not having and always wanting a dishwasher. You are perfectly capable of washing dishes by hand it's just that life would be more fun with one. You get the dishwasher and life is great, better than you imagined. Then when the dishwasher breaks down you immediately want to replace it. You can't imagine going back to life before the dishwasher.
When I think of it in that way, and I realize that the premise doesn't involve relationships, I understand how difficult it is to just stop.
That said it makes stopping even more difficult. If you knew that the enhancement has become a necessity and you knew your spouse would be disappointed then it would make requesting a stop all the harder. It would mean you will be having to reach a breaking point that you were reluctant to share. You would be reluctant because you know how much your spouse enjoys the activity and you don't want to ruin their fun. At the same time if your situation is so difficult that you can't go on you're faced with a tough decision.
I've only read a handful of couples that communicate enough and are sensitive to each other enough to make this work over the long haul. Couples that I've read about that do this successfully are not ignorant of their responsibility. They understand that happiness lives in a balance and the goal is "shared happiness".
That is a great analogy in that if you do stop you are having to do it by hand lol.
In the 90s I worked for a company that rewarded top person each quarter with a leased BMW convertible, it was yours to use for the next quarter, unlimited miles and a gas card . If you stayed top dog you would get it again otherwise you go back to your car. Nothing wrong with your car, heck, you chose it to be your car in the first place, but after driving the brand new BMW convertible for 3 months it wasn't the same. Kinda similar here. Sex life or life itself was fine before. No complaints. Now however, you have been spoiled. Hard to go back, not just for her either. Mind you she is the one having the incredible sex life but mine has not been too shabby. Having same amount of sex I always had but getting some cool threesomes here and there and I get a live sex show starring my wife when I want to watch, which is often.
That is the fun part.
There is another side, a darker side. It does rattle your emotions at times. Not always either, just seems that certain things can be tough. I love to see her happy and do countless things to ensure she is happy and she always does awesome things for me but.... if you are home on a weekend and she is at his place you can't help but wonder what the heck am I doing? It could be different but I chose to let her go so it is 100% on me, had I said anything she would have included me somehow, but she didn't and the emotions set in. I am not going to discourage someone who is an adult from making adult decisions but I was just trying to offer some insight from someone who is maybe not in the same situation as far as physical challenges but has some common ground.
Caveat Emptor
Thank you, unfortunately my condition is physical. I have tryed all the ED pills and get a spectaular erection with them but in less time than it takes coffee to cool it is gone and does not come back for hours no matter what we do. I tried for a long time as did my wife to just stimulate it back to being hard. It isn't that. I enjoy sex and masturbation is the only way I can ejaculate and frankly even that is very frustrating but at least possible.
I understand your situation is different than mine and appreciate the advice. In my case it is not likley that my situatin will change. My doctor has pretty much laid that out to me. We are willing to try things but hope is guarded at best. I hear what you are saying about not rushing into anything. I feel like it has already been two years and my wife deserves a sex life. If I bring it up and if she agrees I think we really need to spend ample time in deciding on who will be the right person for the role. I feel like one person who is stable and understanding of the situation and can commit to it long term would be our best option. People have asked if I would be present and I really don't think so. I would likely screen someone, meet them, agree on things, maybe take her to a hotel the first few times and then step out of the picture. I look at it like a hairdresser or massage, she would go, receive the service and we do not need to discuss it again.
Same, sometimes I can stay hard.
But when her bf is with us, I am so hard…
I think this cuck things is really into us and only way to keep me hard.
Sometime I fuck my wife in front of her bf and last much longer and harder.
Or after her bf goes we can have 2-3 orgasm with good sex.
If no one fuck her in front of me…. I can’t stay up too long….
I assure you I will not be watching her have sex with another man. Its not that I want it to happen, it more less needs to happen as I am unable. I am still not wanting to see it happen.
Hi Patrick, I wont go into all the reasons why the lifestyle is so great but let me bring up one potentially practical suggestion that, if you can get your head around it, might work for you. Some of the couples I dated were very into 'sloppy seconds'. After I was finished with her he would enter her. Most husbands find entering her wet and swollen vagina very very exciting and in nearly every instance they came within 3-4 thrusts into her. So, with a short window of opportunity this might work for you.
99% of real experienced Bulls are not interested in running off with your wife because there is nothing to compare to the excitement of the wife-lover relationship. The same goes for wives, rarely do they want to walk away from the man who has courageously given her sexual and emotional freedom. In most cases couples agree they should have started sooner.
Finally, the erotic intensity that is created by 'the magic of 3' will open new avenues of pleasure and excitement for both of you. Good Luck. Oh and btw, my experience is that in situations such as yours she will embrace the lifestyle but don't be afraid to go too slow. Lovingly help her to get to the place where the right man can escort her across the threshold of pleasure.
I really had not considered having immediate or any penetration if going this route. That is interesting but I am not certain 3 or 4 thrusts is really going to satisfy either of us. I can do that now.
You would only be doing AFTER she has been with the other guy, and believe me, you will be so aroused a couple of thrusts will give you a huge orgasm
Is a penis implant a possibility? Seems if it's a ongoing, for at least a couple years, that may have been considered
Yes, it has been discussed but I have one more surgery they would like to explore prior. It would be at least 18 months out at earliest following my next surgery which is set for May 25
Very well outlined and thought out. Our direction has been established …for 15+ years. I have a small erection as compared to the bbc she has had. I take compounded tadalafil and have good erections and she says they are very effective with her reaching orgasm as well as oral I do to please her. Overall, she is very happy w our sex life. But we both know she loves her bbc boyfriend and will have more sex with him than with me. I accept and know my place. I’m cuckold. One interesting part of our sex with each other is I get very excited having her and when I get to orgasm she helps me get there fast but saying…”go ahead now and fuck his pussy, he owns it now u get to fuck it, ….” And in 10 seconds I’m cumming. Helps me enjoy the sex immensely but also tells me it’s not mine only any more…..
Your sharing insights and your experience are very helpful…and true from my experience on the cuckold side. Thx
