Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

[LizisMick]

The best would probably be to use toys temporarily, until you find a way to fix your erectile dysfunction in a medical way. Being in a similar case, I usually apply some gel on my penis, before having the sexual act. It gets my penis erected and I can do my job without worries that it won't last for enough time, or it won't get erect at all. I order it from

https://sterkereu.com/erectiestoornissen/kamagra-gel

it's very good and has no side effects after applying it on your skin.

 

[BrettAZ73]

I don't have ED issues other than I am a cum quick. There were times when I would only get a few thrusts in before shooting my load.

 

[Pampix]

A lot of cucks have ED and when not have PE. A lot of times this is the reason that we are cucks. My experience is that my ED and PE became worse since my girlfriend and are fully in the cuckold-lifetsyle. Due to psychological and emotional reasons but also because of not having PIV sex anymore, chastity etc...

 

[TheDrkKnight]

I know a few older guys that unfortunately experienced prostate cancer and couldnt get hard to months or even years after their prostate removal. Maybe talk to a doctor about your issue and they could prescribe something to get you going! Or if your goal is to become a cuck then talk to your wife about finding her a partner to fulfill her needs!

 

[PatrickSarasota]

I am new to this whole thing and need some advice. For the better part of 2 years now my wife and I have been unable to have sex due to an ongoing medical issue I am being treated for, so far it is not working. I can achieve erections however they only last 1 to 10 minutes at most, usually 2 or 3 minutes. I have been working with my family doctor as well as a urologist. Nothing to this point has worked and I may undergo another surgery at some point. My wife and I have been having other forms of sex and have used some sex toys to improvise. I can masturbate and achieve an orgasm however my wife has not orgasmed in over a year. It is very difficult for us as we can begin sex but it very quickly fails and that is frustrating for both of us

With that in mind I have considered the option of allowing a man to fulfill this role for her. She has not asked for it and has been very understanding but I know she needs it and I am not able to do that any longer. I have a lot of reservations as it is against everything I ever knew or stood for. I don't want for her to have an affair and ruin our marriage. If we could have just the sex role soley taken by someone it would be a possible route for us.

Before discussing ths with my wife I wanted to hear from those who may have already done this. Is it even possible? Does this lead to divorce or can it fill the void? How do you prepare yourself emotionally? Is it reasonable to locate one person who wants to do this for us but is discreet and not trying to steal her?

 

[Phun Times 727]

I am new to this whole thing and need some advice. For the better part of 2 years now my wife and I have been unable to have sex due to an ongoing medical issue I am being treated for, so far it is not working. I can achieve erections however they only last 1 to 10 minutes at most, usually 2 or 3 minutes. I have been working with my family doctor as well as a urologist. Nothing to this point has worked and I may undergo another surgery at some point. My wife and I have been having other forms of sex and have used some sex toys to improvise. I can masturbate and achieve an orgasm however my wife has not orgasmed in over a year. It is very difficult for us as we can begin sex but it very quickly fails and that is frustrating for both of us

With that in mind I have considered the option of allowing a man to fulfill this role for her. She has not asked for it and has been very understanding but I know she needs it and I am not able to do that any longer. I have a lot of reservations as it is against everything I ever knew or stood for. I don't want for her to have an affair and ruin our marriage. If we could have just the sex role soley taken by someone it would be a possible route for us.

Before discussing ths with my wife I wanted to hear from those who may have already done this. Is it even possible? Does this lead to divorce or can it fill the void? How do you prepare yourself emotionally? Is it reasonable to locate one person who wants to do this for us but is discreet and not trying to steal her?

You have quite a few things there. The first is your medical condition, is it something that will be fixed at some point or permanent? That really decides if you just tough it out a bit or look at other options.

There is the issue of "you" before discussing anything with your wife. Are you going to be able to deal with the potential outcome(s)? Before you ever talk to your wife you need to wrap your head around all the directions things could go. I mean literally treat it like work, pen and paper and brainstorm it out in a flow chart, it could go many ways and once you open the door you have to be alright with all outcomes.

Best case scenario: She could hear you out , agree and find a man to only have sex with her. Clean, not interference with your daily life. You live happily ever after as a married couple with her only having an encounter on an as needed basis with one man who is good with himself being in that role forever.

Also possible:
She freaks out and gets super angry at thought of you telling her to "sleep around" , she gets over it or doesn't and leaves you.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it decides that the issue is significant enough you proposed this and concedes it is time to move on.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with another man and the sex is really good, your marital sex has not been for a long time so she goes overboard having sex all the time and it impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with another man and falls in love and it impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with many men and likes it and it gets out of control and impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and the hotwife lifestyle becomes her thing and you get cucked and she does whatever she wants.

There are a ton of other possible outcomes but really only one that I think suits your "plan". Is it possible, yes. You might have the optimal outcome but please prepare yourself for all others before discussing with your wife. If you decide on this route be fully aware that you are going to undergo a lot of stress. I don't know if you fall under the "let her go do her thing" or if you would be present. Neither is easy. Myself I happen to have a particular type of perverse desire of watching. My thing, maybe not yours but it is what led me here not medical issues. In my case I . have a fetish, watching. You will need to know what you want. If you do not care to watch consider at least going with her for safety at first. A hotel is safe and neutral ground. You can remain in your car or elsewhere if you choose. This keeps the guy away from your home. Also understand that things change. If you source the right person it may be great for a bit then change. Try to always have an exit strategy if it is going to be a sex only thing, so you can end it easily if needed. Emotionally you have some work ahead of you. The big hurdle is of course doing this the first time but then afterwards you both will have feelings to deal with. That is an area you need to brainstorm based on you, your wife and your marriage.

 

[Boitoy]

This one goes out to everyone and any one who has experienced this or currently is.

I would like to know if it is common for any cucks to experience these issues and how do you or how does your partner deal with this.

I have ED issues and premature ejaculation issues and it seems for me at least it was the trigger to start conversations into cuckoldingalthpugh as a couple we are not there just yet.

To paint the picture most of my issues stem from an injury I received.

Would love to hear or talk about this. Thanks in advance. View attachment 340384

That's not an end to desire or sex by a long shot. It's an entirely viable thing to take pleasure from her being with other men…..if that's your chosen path. There are plenty of couples who open a rich and rewarding chapter sexually when the husband -- for whatever reason -- can no longer perform in that way. I think it mainly depends on them keeping open minds, listening to each other, and figuring it out together.

It has to be a different kind of erotic charge for him, but a husband -- even one not fucking -- can find a new footing, give and take pleasure, derive terrific excitement and great satisfaction, and contribute to those things for his wife. And take pride in it all. Whether it be more voyeuristic or participatory, or combines elements of both, is up to the couple, but the wife's sexual exploits with other men becoming the fulcrum can hold thrilling possibility and growth potential.

As long as She has my face to fuck She could care less about my soft dickie problems

 

[PatrickSarasota]

You have quite a few things there. The first is your medical condition, is it something that will be fixed at some point or permanent? That really decides if you just tough it out a bit or look at other options.

There is the issue of "you" before discussing anything with your wife. Are you going to be able to deal with the potential outcome(s)? Before you ever talk to your wife you need to wrap your head around all the directions things could go. I mean literally treat it like work, pen and paper and brainstorm it out in a flow chart, it could go many ways and once you open the door you have to be alright with all outcomes.

Best case scenario: She could hear you out , agree and find a man to only have sex with her. Clean, not interference with your daily life. You live happily ever after as a married couple with her only having an encounter on an as needed basis with one man who is good with himself being in that role forever.

Also possible:
She freaks out and gets super angry at thought of you telling her to "sleep around" , she gets over it or doesn't and leaves you.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it decides that the issue is significant enough you proposed this and concedes it is time to move on.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with another man and the sex is really good, your marital sex has not been for a long time so she goes overboard having sex all the time and it impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with another man and falls in love and it impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and starts having sex with many men and likes it and it gets out of control and impacts your marriage.
She agrees with you that she needs sex and you are not able to provide it and the hotwife lifestyle becomes her thing and you get cucked and she does whatever she wants.

There are a ton of other possible outcomes but really only one that I think suits your "plan". Is it possible, yes. You might have the optimal outcome but please prepare yourself for all others before discussing with your wife. If you decide on this route be fully aware that you are going to undergo a lot of stress. I don't know if you fall under the "let her go do her thing" or if you would be present. Neither is easy. Myself I happen to have a particular type of perverse desire of watching. My thing, maybe not yours but it is what led me here not medical issues. In my case I . have a fetish, watching. You will need to know what you want. If you do not care to watch consider at least going with her for safety at first. A hotel is safe and neutral ground. You can remain in your car or elsewhere if you choose. This keeps the guy away from your home. Also understand that things change. If you source the right person it may be great for a bit then change. Try to always have an exit strategy if it is going to be a sex only thing, so you can end it easily if needed. Emotionally you have some work ahead of you. The big hurdle is of course doing this the first time but then afterwards you both will have feelings to deal with. That is an area you need to brainstorm based on you, your wife and your marriage.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my questions. I do see that there is a lot to thik about. This is somewhat like an iceberg in that you only see part of it and so much is below the surface. I think what you are saying is I need to be comfortable with any potential outcome before I talk to my wife. That makes sense. I have to ask, are you active in the lifestyle choice and if so how did you make the decision and has it worked out?

 

[Phun Times 727]

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my questions. I do see that there is a lot to thik about. This is somewhat like an iceberg in that you only see part of it and so much is below the surface. I think what you are saying is I need to be comfortable with any potential outcome before I talk to my wife. That makes sense. I have to ask, are you active in the lifestyle choice and if so how did you make the decision and has it worked out?

Yes, that is exactly what I was suggesting. It could go any direction and once the toothpaste is out of the tube there is no putting it back in. What is your ideal situation? Back to what it used to be and your erections are good and involved in a monogamous marriage? I am guessing if you had a magic wand that would be it. I could be wrong.

Am I involved in the lifestyle? Well, the word lifestyle as I understand it is usually a buzzword for swingers. In which case no I do not consider myself or my wife swingers. We did go to a swingers club on a lark but nothing much happened. I am married and my wife has a lover for better part of this last year. I did not fully think out all scenarios and proposed a threesome for my wife (her and 2 men and I watch). I know, it isn't the threesome most guys request, where we pull another woman in . Well my fetish/desire to watch my wife with 2 men turned into a threesome where I was part of it and she found the guy to join us and like finding a stray cat, we never got rid of him. He is house broken so that helped lol. But this is what I meant about brainstorming where things might head. If you asked me a year ago if my wife would be "dating" another man and I would condone it, the answer would have been no. It just kind of evolved. I was hell bent on the threesome watching thing, could not get it out of my mind. I was imaging it when we had sex and it became compulsive. I finally had to say something as I could no longer keep it in. I was thinking we would do it and be done. Well, it never happened. Still hasn't. I got my fix I guess by being part of the threesome on an ongoing basis but what I didn't factor in was her getting so involved with him. At one point I realized it was too late to turn around and I could not discourage it so the only option was fully support it (remember your parents offering you cigarettes as a teen to discourage it). Well, it got a lot deeper for a long time and just recently seems to have plateaued. I mean she travelled with him, work parties, meeting friends etc. He is otherwise single and views her as his girlfriend/significant other. So to answer your question I am not involved in swinging, I do not play outside our marriage but my wife does with one man. At least that is where we are currently.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I don't experience ED to the point I need pills or injections to perform. But a while ago I experienced some difficulties to sustain erection despite to feel quite aroused and active with my wife.

After some exams and nothing about physical issues being detected the doctor pointed out the reason might be plain psychological.

Well, in part he was right. I (husband) got very used to masturbate while away from home and got even more used to fuck with my wife bringing stimuli from her sexual acts outside the marriage. It culminated in a situation where I was only able to sustain erection and perform a penetration if she was recollecting her recent meetings with other men or if we were watching videos she recorded from the acts.

The solution was simple but sour to apply. I had to refrain a lot from frequent masturbating over wife's encounters and we agreed to do some 'quarantine' from her telling me about her lovers.

It worked out fine.

Although every now and then wife noticed I still need much stimuli from her to reach a good point.

 

[Stevens4fun]

I find that it takes me thinking about Jo fucking John to get hard and when she does fuck him and we get home I lick her out and then I get into her I cum quick . I have been trying to get her to find someone to come out to our house and fuck her in our bed while I am downstairs. She is not big on the idea ,but I am trying. I want to have to sleep on another guys cum stains. Does anyone else have this desire?

Happened whenever my wife had her lover in our bed. In winter, the spot will be wet and cold but will remind you of what just happened.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I am new to this whole thing and need some advice. For the better part of 2 years now my wife and I have been unable to have sex due to an ongoing medical issue I am being treated for, so far it is not working. I can achieve erections however they only last 1 to 10 minutes at most, usually 2 or 3 minutes. I have been working with my family doctor as well as a urologist. Nothing to this point has worked and I may undergo another surgery at some point. My wife and I have been having other forms of sex and have used some sex toys to improvise. I can masturbate and achieve an orgasm however my wife has not orgasmed in over a year. It is very difficult for us as we can begin sex but it very quickly fails and that is frustrating for both of us

With that in mind I have considered the option of allowing a man to fulfill this role for her. She has not asked for it and has been very understanding but I know she needs it and I am not able to do that any longer. I have a lot of reservations as it is against everything I ever knew or stood for. I don't want for her to have an affair and ruin our marriage. If we could have just the sex role soley taken by someone it would be a possible route for us.

Before discussing ths with my wife I wanted to hear from those who may have already done this. Is it even possible? Does this lead to divorce or can it fill the void? How do you prepare yourself emotionally? Is it reasonable to locate one person who wants to do this for us but is discreet and not trying to steal her?

Well, if you are thinking about the idea strictly due your health condition that might turns out quite dangerous for you both.

1. You may think you can handle another man fucking your wife, but when it's really happening the feelings could be very afar from what you expected.
2. Does your wife craves sex with another man? You need to talk to her about the possibility somehow.
3. If she doesn't then your proposal could be seen as some sort of insult. If she craves, well, how so?
4. Your wife might fall in love by another man. Every single husband which shares his wife is exposed to this risk, but you need to give some thought and measure this issue before proceeding.

We are in a hotwife LS. We ran over those risks but a good portion of the experience relied on luck. So, there will be uncertainty always. And wife was already a bit of a slut before despite the fact I didn't know before.

I am not saying you shouldn't think about releasing your wife for some sexual experiences with other men. But be careful. Real life is not porn.

 

[Stevens4fun]

I am new to this whole thing and need some advice. For the better part of 2 years now my wife and I have been unable to have sex due to an ongoing medical issue I am being treated for, so far it is not working. I can achieve erections however they only last 1 to 10 minutes at most, usually 2 or 3 minutes. I have been working with my family doctor as well as a urologist. Nothing to this point has worked and I may undergo another surgery at some point. My wife and I have been having other forms of sex and have used some sex toys to improvise. I can masturbate and achieve an orgasm however my wife has not orgasmed in over a year. It is very difficult for us as we can begin sex but it very quickly fails and that is frustrating for both of us

With that in mind I have considered the option of allowing a man to fulfill this role for her. She has not asked for it and has been very understanding but I know she needs it and I am not able to do that any longer. I have a lot of reservations as it is against everything I ever knew or stood for. I don't want for her to have an affair and ruin our marriage. If we could have just the sex role soley taken by someone it would be a possible route for us.

Before discussing ths with my wife I wanted to hear from those who may have already done this. Is it even possible? Does this lead to divorce or can it fill the void? How do you prepare yourself emotionally? Is it reasonable to locate one person who wants to do this for us but is discreet and not trying to steal her?

Without knowing your age or if you have children still living in the home, etc. etc., all we can do is offer suggestions based on our own experiences. You have said you are considering having another man fulfill that role (fucked to orgasm) for her but she hasn't asked for it. It's a sexy thought but at some point your idea will have to be verbalized so that your wife can know what you are thinking and have her own input. It's risky in that such a discussion may be disconcerting to your wife. Go slow! 🙂

My wife's lover of 9 years spent a good deal of time in our bed (while I slept elsewhere in the house) and frankly, sex for all three of us was off the charts but the house got mightly small mighty quick. But it was something that my wife loved as it was fairly regular. When you wake up on Sunday morning, you don't expect to find your wife sitting at the breakfast table half naked with another man.

Once my wife and her lover really got into one another, the hotel bills were adding up and so things just worked better in our home. But it really cut into our time (She and I) together. Still, she liked him (they were coworkers) before he became her lover, and came to love him afterwards. While not a bad thing for me, it changes your lifestyle in that there's a 3rd person to consider for many of your daily activities. And on that one special night you want to take your wife out to dinner and drinks, she may say to you: "I'm sorry honey, I invited Paul over tonight, - I really need it. Can we do dinner some other day?" As happened with me, he became her primary lover and we moved a lot of stuff around to accommodate his needs and schedule. He even kept some clothes in our master bedroom closet so he could go directly to work in the morning, etc. etc. Can your wife handle emotional involvement with another man (if she elects to enjoy another man)? Can you, even if she reassures you your marriage is not threatened? Some can, some can't.

 

[PatrickSarasota]

I don't experience ED to the point I need pills or injections to perform. But a while ago I experienced some difficulties to sustain erection despite to feel quite aroused and active with my wife.

After some exams and nothing about physical issues being detected the doctor pointed out the reason might be plain psychological.

Well, in part he was right. I (husband) got very used to masturbate while away from home and got even more used to fuck with my wife bringing stimuli from her sexual acts outside the marriage. It culminated in a situation where I was only able to sustain erection and perform a penetration if she was recollecting her recent meetings with other men or if we were watching videos she recorded from the acts.

The solution was simple but sour to apply. I had to refrain a lot from frequent masturbating over wife's encounters and we agreed to do some 'quarantine' from her telling me about her lovers.

It worked out fine.

Although every now and then wife noticed I still need much stimuli from her to reach a good point.

I had prostate cancer and surgery, since then I have had this problem. There are medications and I have used them and still do. I get erections no problem but they are not releiable, and usually do not last. We start to have sex and a minute or two later the erection is gone. It is a common issue and I may have some hope via another surgery but it has been 2years and very frustating. Of course I want sex and so does my wife but as soon as we start the erection is gone. I can masturbate muself but it doesn't get her off. She has been very understanding but I can feel her frustration and it has discouraged us from even trying. Even with a penis compression ring it doesn't work. I don't go half hard, it is a bad valve and it simply does not hold the blood in the penis. (as was explained to me). Many men experience this after prostate cancer but I am mid 40s not mid 70s. It is not psychological.

What is psychological however is dealing with the possibilities. Yes the perfect situation would be a return to normal but if we could find a man who would be willing to take this role on understanding it is just physical that we need, no relationship or emotions or dating stuff. No I am not turned on by watching it happen. Des that exist? If we could just set it up and move on I feel it would be a huge relief for both of us.

I understand it can be tough. I know I need to talk to my wife but trying to explore all options before.

 

[mabelnfred]

It can be psychological or physical or both. After a year of getting into the lifestyle, I may occasionally fail to have an erection even when seeing her in bed with her lovers. It can happen especially after your medical condition. May worth reconsult other medical practitioners to explore the reasons. Take care and good luck.

 

[Phun Times 727]

I had prostate cancer and surgery, since then I have had this problem. There are medications and I have used them and still do. I get erections no problem but they are not releiable, and usually do not last. We start to have sex and a minute or two later the erection is gone. It is a common issue and I may have some hope via another surgery but it has been 2years and very frustating. Of course I want sex and so does my wife but as soon as we start the erection is gone. I can masturbate muself but it doesn't get her off. She has been very understanding but I can feel her frustration and it has discouraged us from even trying. Even with a penis compression ring it doesn't work. I don't go half hard, it is a bad valve and it simply does not hold the blood in the penis. (as was explained to me). Many men experience this after prostate cancer but I am mid 40s not mid 70s. It is not psychological.

What is psychological however is dealing with the possibilities. Yes the perfect situation would be a return to normal but if we could find a man who would be willing to take this role on understanding it is just physical that we need, no relationship or emotions or dating stuff. No I am not turned on by watching it happen. Des that exist? If we could just set it up and move on I feel it would be a huge relief for both of us.

I understand it can be tough. I know I need to talk to my wife but trying to explore all options before.

It sounds like your medical issue may be something you have long term (hopefully not). So the question is can you live without sex? Can your wife? If you move forward and your wife becomes involved with a man how will you have intimacy in your relationship outside of sex. I think you need to figure that out so you don't become room mates after outsourcing the sex.

Everybody has a different situation. In my case we went through a phase where my wife and her lover were getting together so often it became overwhelming. He lives 2 hours from us and they were getting together 4 or 5 times a week at one point and having sex 15 to 20 a week where we were having sex maybe 3 or 4 times at most. It was hard to deal with. It has leveled off and with the hurricanes in our area we had to really cut back and have stayed on that reduced amount ever since. I was emotionally worn thin. My wife went on an international trip with him and I stayed home. I had to get right with that in my own head. I truly felt that if she wanted to go she should go, and she did. I was going crazy but I put her first and I think it was the right decision as she is more marriage centric at this point. I don't know the right answer for you (or even for me) but just go slow. You have time to make well thought out decisions.

 

[PatrickSarasota]

It sounds like your medical issue may be something you have long term (hopefully not). So the question is can you live without sex? Can your wife? If you move forward and your wife becomes involved with a man how will you have intimacy in your relationship outside of sex. I think you need to figure that out so you don't become room mates after outsourcing the sex.

Everybody has a different situation. In my case we went through a phase where my wife and her lover were getting together so often it became overwhelming. He lives 2 hours from us and they were getting together 4 or 5 times a week at one point and having sex 15 to 20 a week where we were having sex maybe 3 or 4 times at most. It was hard to deal with. It has leveled off and with the hurricanes in our area we had to really cut back and have stayed on that reduced amount ever since. I was emotionally worn thin. My wife went on an international trip with him and I stayed home. I had to get right with that in my own head. I truly felt that if she wanted to go she should go, and she did. I was going crazy but I put her first and I think it was the right decision as she is more marriage centric at this point. I don't know the right answer for you (or even for me) but just go slow. You have time to make well thought out decisions.

Hurricanes? Where are you?

 

[Phun Times 727]

Tampa Bay, just North of Clearwater actually. We got hit pretty hard with the hurricanes.

 

[PatrickSarasota]

Tampa Bay, just North of Clearwater actually. We got hit pretty hard with the hurricanes.

I am in Sarasota as you may have figured from my screen name. Yeah we did as well, got flooded out on Helene and lost part of our roof with Milton.

 

[Phun Times 727]

So about 2 hours South of us. Helene was bad here. Milton was worse South of us. We didn't flood at our house but we have a couple rentals that flooded. I have ripped out all the flooring and drywall , just waiting on insurance now. Worse mess than I have ever seen living here.