Watching

[coastalkid]

At first I felt my wife held back a bit and sort of emulated what our sex was like. She did and still has a tendency to "perform" for me at times. It can be an acknowledgement, a wink, doing something she knows I would like to see etc. It isn't all the time but in instances where she knows I am choosing not to participate just to be able to watch, those times are usually when she performs. She had one on one sex with her boyfriend a few times before the three of us got together. When we did get together it was MFM for the next several meetings but at one point I decided I was going to just watch that time and I told her in advance I was doing so and to just do whatever she wanted to do. In comparison to where we are now, she was a bit reserved but she definitely was performing for me but also enjoying herself at the same time. I had to trim this down quite a bit as she is very oral and it went on for awhile but you get the idea.

Damn! This guy is huge! How do you compare to him? Has your wife ever said anything about size to you?

 

[Phun Times 727]

Damn! This guy is huge! How do you compare to him? Has your wife ever said anything about size to you?

I have come to the conclusion that for a woman to have sex outside of her marriage it must offer some form of improvement, size, stamina, skill etc, not many would be game for worse than what they started with.

 

[coastalkid]

I have come to the conclusion that for a woman to have sex outside of her marriage it must offer some form of improvement, size, stamina, skill etc, not many would be game for worse than what they started with.

That makes sense really. I would imagine that new and different is good and that might be enough for some. I know this may come across as an over simplification but if you look at the whole deal as a sort of service instead of a threat to your relationship it becomes like any other service you seek. You'd always prefer the more skilled, properly equipped, hassle free, most reliable service you could find. When you apply that kind of thinking towards the person your wife would enjoy the most the same should apply.

The trick is either being into the kink deep enough or being mentally prepared to the best of your ability and still wanting it. Either way you still have to have faith in your wife to ward off difficult times that may arise (or at least that's what I think I would need). If those things were solid, and you're confident you and your wife are on the same page, then you'd be sorry if you didn't try it. Just my own personal take on it, nothing more.

 

[Phun Times 727]

That makes sense really. I would imagine that new and different is good and that might be enough for some. I know this may come across as an over simplification but if you look at the whole deal as a sort of service instead of a threat to your relationship it becomes like any other service you seek. You'd always prefer the more skilled, properly equipped, hassle free, most reliable service you could find. When you apply that kind of thinking towards the person your wife would enjoy the most the same should apply.

The trick is either being into the kink deep enough or being mentally prepared to the best of your ability and still wanting it. Either way you still have to have faith in your wife to ward off difficult times that may arise (or at least that's what I think I would need). If those things were solid, and you're confident you and your wife are on the same page, then you'd be sorry if you didn't try it. Just my own personal take on it, nothing more.

Not quite as clinical as that but I get the comparison. I use massage as an example, it is physical and intimate but outsourced, yet your spouse can still do it to you. New and different is fun and can likely hold interest short term but then it requires more buy in. As far as the trick, it is a balancing act at very best and a haunting addiction most often. I have never had a chemical addiction, don't do drugs, don't smoke, drink very little, but I do imagine it is similar in that you are craving something you know is not beneficial to you, and possibly harmful, but you are just drawn there. Would I have been sorry if I never tried it, no. I would have known it was a better decision not to, but the overwhelming desire overcame rational thought. This was years in the making. It didn't come to a boil until I could not contain it any longer, I tried and it was simply not possible any longer. If I were able to to I would have resisted but it was not possible. I am speaking from my perspective. I imagine women could feel the same way and get in the lifestyle but I was not yearning for myself but to watch her have one really wild night and entertain me by having a threesome with two men. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be where things are and no threesome to watch.

 

[PatrickSarasota]

While I am sure it is a pleasure for many men, I just do not feel it is something I would need to watch happen. Watching someone else's wife is fine but I don't need to see it happen to my wife. I think I will struggle with things enough without seeing it but I do believe I can withstand and my marriage can withstand this given the circumstance it would happen under. I am still struggling with how to present this option to my wife.