Her idea

[coastalkid]

If the initial idea is promoted and encouraged by the wife, is it still acceptable for her to deny her husband the possibility of having sex outside the marriage? Almost all the time you read, "I (the wife) can have sex with anyone at anytime I choose but I would be crushed if my husband had sex with another woman." I've never understood how women can say this and not get the hypocrisy of their statement. If it takes a strong man to allow her to have an exciting sex life does this infer that she is weaker than her husband? I don't even get why she would be crushed. What does she think she would be risking that her husband isn't already risking himself?

Why is it an almost universal constant that husbands want their wives to have an exceptional sex life yet wives don't seem to share that feeling regarding their husbands sex life. Instead of offering more and better sex they substitute it with restrictions and denial thinking that will be desirable (or worse knowing full well that that's not what they want). I understand if she knows her husband has a shown a proven desire to be a cuckold then that's different. If it's not something the husband has shown interest in and he still wants a fulfilling sex life then where does that leave him other than leaving the marriage?

 

[Phun Times 727]

I can offer some insight on part of that, but only part as my situation was not presented/promoted by her, it was me. She has told me she would be turned on by watching me have sex with someone and has suggested I do so. I am not opposed to it happening someday but I really don't need for it to happen now. I feel like if the situation were right I would know when but it would have to really align. It is possible but not likely, at least currently. I am super picky. Its a wonder I ever found my wife. I have been blessed to have had a few amazing women in my life but I have always been willing to sit out vs compromise. for sex alone it seems I would be more willing to lower the bar but, no. While looks are important there is a list of other things (fit/in shape/sense of humor/smart/sense of self/ clean hygiene/shaved body hair........) that have to be there or it is a no go. I am a fussy SOB and I admit it.

 

[coastalkid]

I can offer some insight on part of that, but only part as my situation was not presented/promoted by her, it was me. She has told me she would be turned on by watching me have sex with someone and has suggested I do so. I am not opposed to it happening someday but I really don't need for it to happen now. I feel like if the situation were right I would know when but it would have to really align. It is possible but not likely, at least currently. I am super picky. Its a wonder I ever found my wife. I have been blessed to have had a few amazing women in my life but I have always been willing to sit out vs compromise. for sex alone it seems I would be more willing to lower the bar but, no. While looks are important there is a list of other things (fit/in shape/sense of humor/smart/sense of self/ clean hygiene/shaved body hair........) that have to be there or it is a no go. I am a fussy SOB and I admit it.

Thanks for your reply. I realize that you enjoy the the fetish of watching your wife and that presents a different dynamic. Setting that aside and just using your own observations do you notice that it is nearly ubiquitous that there isn't an explanation or acknowledgement of the disparity of sexual freedom? With so much emphasis on women's rights and equality I'm surprised that this is an exception to the rule. I'm curious to know what your thoughts are purely from an analytical viewpoint.

 

[Phun Times 727]

Thanks for your reply. I realize that you enjoy the the fetish of watching your wife and that presents a different dynamic. Setting that aside and just using your own observations do you notice that it is nearly ubiquitous that there isn't an explanation or acknowledgement of the disparity of sexual freedom? With so much emphasis on women's rights and equality I'm surprised that this is an exception to the rule. I'm curious to know what your thoughts are purely from an analytical viewpoint.

I agree it does seem to skew in one direction but that could simply be that we are on WWTP. There is likely a site out there for husbands, maybe. On here yes, it is far more hotwife than swingers. That could be partly attributed to hotwife being new and a growing trend where swinging has been around forever. As a couple we don't refer to things as hotwife because of the solo partner dynamic, this is mostly after hanging out with an actual hotwife who corrected us. Prior my wife was calling us swingers noting I had yet to start. I am not likely to start so we are not that either. In therapy we have struggled with defining it exactly. We also have not determined if it is confined to this one individual, is he the last or the first? My wife and I have talked about the hotwife option, she is good with our current situation and nothing beyond him. If he stepped in front of a bus we might be done with this. I say might because her hotwife friend does present ideas to us that are not outside the realm of consideration. We have talked about things we discovered there and who knows what the future holds but a couple of options could have a spark that could lead to a flame at some point.

 

[coastalkid]

I agree it does seem to skew in one direction but that could simply be that we are on WWTP. There is likely a site out there for husbands, maybe. On here yes, it is far more hotwife than swingers. That could be partly attributed to hotwife being new and a growing trend where swinging has been around forever. As a couple we don't refer to things as hotwife because of the solo partner dynamic, this is mostly after hanging out with an actual hotwife who corrected us. Prior my wife was calling us swingers noting I had yet to start. I am not likely to start so we are not that either. In therapy we have struggled with defining it exactly. We also have not determined if it is confined to this one individual, is he the last or the first? My wife and I have talked about the hotwife option, she is good with our current situation and nothing beyond him. If he stepped in front of a bus we might be done with this. I say might because her hotwife friend does present ideas to us that are not outside the realm of consideration. We have talked about things we discovered there and who knows what the future holds but a couple of options could have a spark that could lead to a flame at some point.

You have become one of my favorite people to correspond with. At first I thought you were just another one of those crazy husbands that go way over the top with their lifestyle (admittedly you are compared to me). I always like to refer to those types as couples whose "candle burns very bright but not for very long" as in, the relationship collapses under the weight of the chasing a kink. You've proven me wrong. You're very honest and very realistic in your answers and responses. I truly appreciate it because you've helped me sort out the unbelievable fantasy driven story tellers from the real people that actually live this lifestyle.

I've learned that I can ask you any question and expect an honest reply that doesn't simply dismiss my naivety. Thank you!

 

[Phun Times 727]

You have become one of my favorite people to correspond with. At first I thought you were just another one of those crazy husbands that go way over the top with their lifestyle (admittedly you are compared to me). I always like to refer to those types as couples whose "candle burns very bright but not for very long" as in, the relationship collapses under the weight of the chasing a kink. You've proven me wrong. You're very honest and very realistic in your answers and responses. I truly appreciate it because you've helped me sort out the unbelievable fantasy driven story tellers from the real people that actually live this lifestyle.

I've learned that I can ask you any question and expect an honest reply that doesn't simply dismiss my naivety. Thank you!

I may not be super accomplished in this lifestyle but I can relate the little bit we have done. I think it is important to let people understand that life happens around fantasy and emotions run high. It is easy to just go wild but you have to be able to live with yourself and your spouse going forward and have to be able to relate what happened and decide what makes sense to continue or avoid. It would be easy to be the sad clown at the circus.