Wife had new boyfriend(?)

[David Cy]

I haven't posted in a while, as there wasn't much to say. My wife and I aren't really in the cuckold lifestyle to degree many others on site are, but I did post late last year about how she cuckolded me when she met an older guy (50-55) at friend's house and flirted with him and, as she admitted to me a few days later, he "made love to me," that afternoon at friend's house.

It was very shocking to me, and I think she was surprised by her actions also, as prior to that, we were pretty conservative people who were both raised strictly religious. A big part of it was that the guy (named Geoff) was very well endowed, which is probably why he was so confident in first place. She later told me it was incredible experience and she intended on seeing him again. They "dated" for a few months and I met him eventually.

Well, that relationship seemed to run its course after a few months and things seemed back to normal until about two weeks ago she told me she had met a guy through her work, was interested in him, and they planned on having dinner the friday before last (Aug 2). Lisa wasn't sure how it would end up, but told me that if he seemed intersted in her, she would make it clear to him that he, as she put it "can take me."

So, that night came and she went to dinner with him, and came home the next morning to break the news to me that "Adam screwed me after dinner. Now she had another "dinner date" with him last night and has yet to come home.

All of this is strange, I do love her and find it oddly exciting, but just am not sure.

end of rant.

 

[jw_kk]

She's being open about her desires, intent, and actions... very hot. How long does Lisa tend to stay infatuated with a lover?

 

[Santi1230]

Well whats your take on the relationship. You said your not into cuckolding, are you gonna meet other women, so open up the relationship

 

[David Cy]

She's being open about her desires, intent, and actions... very hot. How long does Lisa tend to stay infatuated with a lover?

I think she would still be infatuated with Geoff, the first guy. From what I can tell he backed off relationship.

 

[jw_kk]

I think she would still be infatuated with Geoff, the first guy. From what I can tell he backed off relationship.

So, summarizing to present, Lisa/Geoff were in a sexual ("dating") relationship for a while, from which it's a reasonable inference that you were at least tolerant of, and aware of it.

I've had experiences with married women in which the wife preferred to maintain a long-term, "steady" relationship with a lover other than her husband. The "steady" aspect appeals to some women, especially those who might be seeking more than just sex - there are some who can't separate sex from love (probably more appropriately limerence). Could be that is similar to Lisa...

Perhaps she's trying to kindle something of the same nature with the new lover, Adam? Repeat sex is a fairly strong indicator she's aroused by him.

 

[Berta698]

We had a similar situation for awhile with mixed results. Dm if interested in hearing about it.

 

[David Cy]

Well whats your take on the relationship. You said your not into cuckolding, are you gonna meet other women, so open up the relationship

No, I'm not planning on pursuing other women, as that would be non-starter as far as wife concerned

 

[coastalkid]

What would be your best case scenario? If you had the opportunity to have things just the way you wanted, what would that be?

Does Lisa ever ask you what you get out of this? Since pursuing other women is a "non-starter" I wonder how women reconcile this in their heads? They know the advantage/opportunity they have and how one-sided it is. Sexually they enjoy a less restricted lifestyle with freedom of final say. Surely they must know that her husband/bf has made a compromise/decision to exchange some freedoms in hopes for a better more exciting sex life himself, just like hers in ways. Surely most wives/gfs are sensitive to this idea and have worked that out.

 

[Jazthing]

My wife has been seeing a boyfriend for almost a year and our marriage has only gotten stronger. Remember a happy wife is a happy life. Let her do her thing as long as she's honest with you about it.

 

[dickhurtz]

I haven't posted in a while, as there wasn't much to say. My wife and I aren't really in the cuckold lifestyle to degree many others on site are, but I did post late last year about how she cuckolded me when she met an older guy (50-55) at friend's house and flirted with him and, as she admitted to me a few days later, he "made love to me," that afternoon at friend's house.

It was very shocking to me, and I think she was surprised by her actions also, as prior to that, we were pretty conservative people who were both raised strictly religious. A big part of it was that the guy (named Geoff) was very well endowed, which is probably why he was so confident in first place. She later told me it was incredible experience and she intended on seeing him again. They "dated" for a few months and I met him eventually.

Well, that relationship seemed to run its course after a few months and things seemed back to normal until about two weeks ago she told me she had met a guy through her work, was interested in him, and they planned on having dinner the friday before last (Aug 2). Lisa wasn't sure how it would end up, but told me that if he seemed intersted in her, she would make it clear to him that he, as she put it "can take me."

So, that night came and she went to dinner with him, and came home the next morning to break the news to me that "Adam screwed me after dinner. Now she had another "dinner date" with him last night and has yet to come home.

All of this is strange, I do love her and find it oddly exciting, but just am not sure.

end of rant.

lucky guy.

 

[Ht805cpl]

What would be your best case scenario? If you had the opportunity to have things just the way you wanted, what would that be?

Does Lisa ever ask you what you get out of this? Since pursuing other women is a "non-starter" I wonder how women reconcile this in their heads? They know the advantage/opportunity they have and how one-sided it is. Sexually they enjoy a less restricted lifestyle with freedom of final say. Surely they must know that her husband/bf has made a compromise/decision to exchange some freedoms in hopes for a better more exciting sex life himself, just like hers in ways. Surely most wives/gfs are sensitive to this idea and have worked that out.

I think you have outlined the difference between a cuckold and an open relationship, for us it is an open relationship, although she rarely goes out and plays when she does it is always ok for me to do like wise, we prefer to share our lovers with each other, but perhaps the difference of being a cuckold couple and a swinging couple!

 

[coastalkid]

I think you have outlined the difference between a cuckold and an open relationship, for us it is an open relationship, although she rarely goes out and plays when she does it is always ok for me to do like wise, we prefer to share our lovers with each other, but perhaps the difference of being a cuckold couple and a swinging couple!

I definitely see your relationship as an open one from what I've read of your posts. It also seems to me that an open relationship is more about equity, while the cuckold relationship is not. Where I tend to get lost and lack understanding regarding a cuckold relationship is when a wife/gf knows she has it good and wants to continue yet feels no need to assure herself that her husband/bf is getting his own exciting experience. I get that some men truly get off on the denial kink, but surely that isn't a majority. Some men suffer from ED too, but even at that there are ways to be sexual.

I just can't let go of believing women are too smart leave it at, "He said he's ok with me doing my thing." What woman wouldn't want to protect every good thing she has? She has to know that her husband/bf may not say it out loud, but she has to know they have thought about, "What's in this for me?" No matter what, eventually, "What's in it for me?" becomes the "showstopper". Women are too smart to let that go unchecked.

 

[Ht805cpl]

I definitely see your relationship as an open one from what I've read of your posts. It also seems to me that an open relationship is more about equity, while the cuckold relationship is not. Where I tend to get lost and lack understanding regarding a cuckold relationship is when a wife/gf knows she has it good and wants to continue yet feels no need to assure herself that her husband/bf is getting his own exciting experience. I get that some men truly get off on the denial kink, but surely that isn't a majority. Some men suffer from ED too, but even at that there are ways to be sexual.

I just can't let go of believing women are too smart leave it at, "He said he's ok with me doing my thing." What woman wouldn't want to protect every good thing she has? She has to know that her husband/bf may not say it out loud, but she has to know they have thought about, "What's in this for me?" No matter what, eventually, "What's in it for me?" becomes the "showstopper". Women are too smart to let that go unchecked.

You seem to have a great perspective on life and relationships, I’ve seen your posts on topics as well, it would be nice if more men had the wisdom and knowledge you seem to possess. I often think or believe most conversation on her is fansasy, so many posts seem that way, being in a long term marriage and having explored many aspects of the swing and alternate lifestyle, I feel very much like you do, it should always be a give n take relationship, with agreed understanding and mutual respect for each other. If it is not what is the purpose of being in a marriage or relationship!

 

[coastalkid]

You seem to have a great perspective on life and relationships, I’ve seen your posts on topics as well, it would be nice if more men had the wisdom and knowledge you seem to possess. I often think or believe most conversation on her is fansasy, so many posts seem that way, being in a long term marriage and having explored many aspects of the swing and alternate lifestyle, I feel very much like you do, it should always be a give n take relationship, with agreed understanding and mutual respect for each other. If it is not what is the purpose of being in a marriage or relationship!

Thank you for the compliment, sincerely. I truly want to learn as much as I can. Sorting out the reality from fantasy here is no easy task. So often situations presented here are impossible to comprehend yet that doesn't necessarily mean they are not true. A site like this will naturally attract unconventional people. Some are living it and others are either curious/wanting it or simply using it for masturbation fodder.

My reason for being here is seek out people that seem real to me and engage them in meaningful dialog about how they make it work and avoid disasters over the long haul. I've always believed that it takes an exceptional woman, smart and sensitive, to be a hot wife and know that the responsibility of keeping every one happy now falls on her shoulders. You can't have all the power and not accept the responsibility, those two are intrinsically linked as in any case.

We are of a like mind on this, like you said, "If it is not what is the purpose of being in a marriage or relationship!" What loving couple wouldn't want their partner to experience great sexual satisfaction? Can it truly be fun for only one person in a relationship to experience amazing sexual thrills? Doesn't everybody want to have sexual thrills? Why would you pretend to think someone you love with all your heart and soul wouldn't want that experience too? A smart woman would know this.

 

[Ht805cpl]

Thank you for the compliment, sincerely. I truly want to learn as much as I can. Sorting out the reality from fantasy here is no easy task. So often situations presented here are impossible to comprehend yet that doesn't necessarily mean they are not true. A site like this will naturally attract unconventional people. Some are living it and others are either curious/wanting it or simply using it for masturbation fodder.

My reason for being here is seek out people that seem real to me and engage them in meaningful dialog about how they make it work and avoid disasters over the long haul. I've always believed that it takes an exceptional woman, smart and sensitive, to be a hot wife and know that the responsibility of keeping every one happy now falls on her shoulders. You can't have all the power and not accept the responsibility, those two are intrinsically linked as in any case.

We are of a like mind on this, like you said, "If it is not what is the purpose of being in a marriage or relationship!" What loving couple wouldn't want their partner to experience great sexual satisfaction? Can it truly be fun for only one person in a relationship to experience amazing sexual thrills? Doesn't everybody want to have sexual thrills? Why would you pretend to think someone you love with all your heart and soul wouldn't want that experience too? A smart woman would know this.

You make some good points, having lived in the lifestyle as a couple for a very long time in many different forums, I to do not understand how it can work as many describe in this forum, first it truly baffles me when guys talk about wanting a girlfriend to seek other men, or cuckold them, why is she your gf if you want her to be with other men, as for married guys, I can almost understand assuming both man and woman are both on the same page, I still do not understand the true dinámicas of a cuckold relationship, perhaps because we as a married couple are in the swinging lifestyle as a couple, to enjoy sex with others, and we have established our limits, and desires in mutual conversation. In a small form I Simi understand the humiliation part of a cuckold relationship is if both all parties are into it or in agreement as to the relationship. For us or me, it is not our desires, and although on rare occasions I may play alone it is with full concentration of my partner, and not a form of cheating or degrading him, my true preference is for him to normally be present and involved in some shape or form but that is just us. I am always impressed with your wise comments on this site, mine at times can be a bit sarcastic or negative as some people just do not seem to have any real grasp on the lifestyle. Thank you for the kind words and always for your intelligent comments.

 

[Phun Times 727]

So, summarizing to present, Lisa/Geoff were in a sexual ("dating") relationship for a while, from which it's a reasonable inference that you were at least tolerant of, and aware of it.

I've had experiences with married women in which the wife preferred to maintain a long-term, "steady" relationship with a lover other than her husband. The "steady" aspect appeals to some women, especially those who might be seeking more than just sex - there are some who can't separate sex from love (probably more appropriately limerence). Could be that is similar to Lisa...

Perhaps she's trying to kindle something of the same nature with the new lover, Adam? Repeat sex is a fairly strong indicator she's aroused by him.

I find this quite interesting as we are in a somewhat similar situation. My wife has been seeing a man for some time now and they have formed a relationship beyond sex to include emotion, constant communication, time together aside from sex including travel and establishment of an alternate universe -she has met and socialized with his friends and coworkers. In those situations she is presented just as his girlfriend not a married woman fooling around. I have enjoyed watching her through this experience. Yes, there is a aspect of MFM at times and of course that of itself is a perk for me but mostly for her. For ROI it is mostly in favor of the woman without a doubt but I do enjoy living through the process with her. When not participating, the voyeur in me does enjoy watching a lot more than I thought I might. The first time I just watched I recorded a cruddy cell phone video of them that I watch quite often. There is something about the newness of things at that time and seeing her in that situation performing for me as they had already been together and the 3 of us had been together, this was a performance and I loved it. That is what I get out of it. Maybe not as much as she does, OK not even close, but it works for me. I really do not know if it will be a long term thing. We are starting to see some limitations.

On a side note. My wife has a hotwife friend and her husband has a situation I simply cannot understand. They have done this for years and years, she no longer has vaginal sex with him at all, ever. She sees several bulls and he either is not able to watch or if he wants to watch must step through all these requirements of being caged for days before and during the act restrained in this guillotine looking thing, my terminology is likely off, he is not being beheaded obviously but he puts his head and hands in this wood thing and stays there the entire time. What the hell is he getting out of it?

 

[jw_kk]

On a side note. My wife has a hotwife friend and her husband has a situation I simply cannot understand. They have done this for years and years, she no longer has vaginal sex with him at all, ever. She sees several bulls and he either is not able to watch or if he wants to watch must step through all these requirements of being caged for days before and during the act restrained in this guillotine looking thing, my terminology is likely off, he is not being beheaded obviously but he puts his head and hands in this wood thing and stays there the entire time. What the hell is he getting out of it?

One can infer from the common themes:

- the cuckold desires the feeling of powerlessness
- the cuckold enjoys the denial and humiliation, other men use his wife, while he's constrained from so doing
- he enjoys the ritual of being caged, denied, then "forced" to watch, unable to intervene or intercede

Of course, his cuckoldress is likely "getting" what she desires from the experience as well. She may require the chastity cage, and denying her cuckold the use of her pussy, or it may be him, or a blend of the two.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

as a male - I have to stay focused on doing anything to make her happy and that includes being a sissy and sucking cocks for her and guilding cocks into her pussy and licking and sucking cocks clean then licking her pussy clean.

 

[Phun Times 727]

One can infer from the common themes:

- the cuckold desires the feeling of powerlessness
- the cuckold enjoys the denial and humiliation, other men use his wife, while he's constrained from so doing
- he enjoys the ritual of being caged, denied, then "forced" to watch, unable to intervene or intercede

Of course, his cuckoldress is likely "getting" what she desires from the experience as well. She may require the chastity cage, and denying her cuckold the use of her pussy, or it may be him, or a blend of the two.

Its strange to see the common denominators here. I haven't considered myself cuck. My wife is shared and they do have solo time but we also have MFM and I still have regular sex with her. I am not denied sex. I do find myself drawn to watching. I am not restrained or anything but sometimes I really do enjoy watching her. This all started with a fantasy of watching her have a threesome with 2 other guys (which still has not happened). I can see how people wind up there or are drawn there.

 

[coastalkid]

I find this quite interesting as we are in a somewhat similar situation. My wife has been seeing a man for some time now and they have formed a relationship beyond sex to include emotion, constant communication, time together aside from sex including travel and establishment of an alternate universe -she has met and socialized with his friends and coworkers. In those situations she is presented just as his girlfriend not a married woman fooling around. I have enjoyed watching her through this experience. Yes, there is a aspect of MFM at times and of course that of itself is a perk for me but mostly for her. For ROI it is mostly in favor of the woman without a doubt but I do enjoy living through the process with her. When not participating, the voyeur in me does enjoy watching a lot more than I thought I might. The first time I just watched I recorded a cruddy cell phone video of them that I watch quite often. There is something about the newness of things at that time and seeing her in that situation performing for me as they had already been together and the 3 of us had been together, this was a performance and I loved it. That is what I get out of it. Maybe not as much as she does, OK not even close, but it works for me. I really do not know if it will be a long term thing. We are starting to see some limitations.

On a side note. My wife has a hotwife friend and her husband has a situation I simply cannot understand. They have done this for years and years, she no longer has vaginal sex with him at all, ever. She sees several bulls and he either is not able to watch or if he wants to watch must step through all these requirements of being caged for days before and during the act restrained in this guillotine looking thing, my terminology is likely off, he is not being beheaded obviously but he puts his head and hands in this wood thing and stays there the entire time. What the hell is he getting out of it?

For you personally, you've found something to get out of your wife's hot wife lifestyle. To me that's critically important. No matter what anyone says, we live in a transactional society. Everybody gets something for having given something. When it gets difficult is when it becomes one-sided enough to foster feelings of disparity which leads to resentment. If you can perceive an "ROI" for your part in your wife's activities then you have a motive to continue. If you don't see any tangible ROI then what's the point? Sure, she may be getting much more out of it than you are BUT as long as you are getting SOMETHING out of it then it's worth it until it isn't.

What is crazy is believing ANYONE that says they don't want any sexual satisfaction of any kind at all AND is in a committed relationship. Why would you be with anyone that doesn't acknowledge that EVERYBODY has some form of sexual desire and want no matter how perverse or extreme or how vanilla? If you know your partner (the one you love with all your heart and soul) wants some kind of sexual experience and you intentionally deny it then what does that say about you?

Regarding that husband of your wife's friend, my guess is that he's getting a thrill out of his submissiveness. This will only last as long as he gets some form of sexual attention. Once it becomes so routine that his compliance is certain, the thrill will be significantly less for everyone. It simply won't be fun anymore because he's been broken, there's no resistance in his heart. His hot wife won't see him as a challenge to manipulate and use, she'll get bored, she'll see him as predictable and uninteresting. Even if you're a limp dicked, unattractive man you still have sexual desire and thoughts.

I predict that if your wife's hot wife friend doesn't catch on her husband will reach a tipping point and he'll see there's nothing (literally nothing) there for him, so why stay? Bottom line, it may not be equal, it may not be as good, but everybody needs to get something out of a relationship. If you have convinced yourself that that is unnecessary you are out of touch with reality.