We have had some rather in depth discussions about this. We had to look at conventional wisdom and decide it did not apply here for a number of reasons. Typically couples/marriages are monagamous and any sort of infidelity is a shock to one of them and leads to a divorce. In our case, my twisted brain became fixated on watching her have sex, via filming us over the years, that led to a fantasy of watching her with other men, which led to it actually happening. She did not seek it out. It was all me. She does however want a certain attachment for ongoing sex. If she has done this for me I am willing to do this for her. We spent hours talking about it and the ultamatum thing is what usually happens, a man declares its him or me. I am not doing that, not by a long shot. In fact quite the opposite.
She absolutely enjoyed the one on one time with him and is well down the road of an emotionaly connected relationship. I asked her point blank if she is in love with him and she said not yet but it is likely headed that way. It took a lot on her part to tell me that and to admit she would like it to happen. We talked and talked and we decided we really like the time all three of us are together, not just the sex, but she needs time with him one on one, again, not just for sex but for sex too. This is the absolute frst time she has asked for anything in this process. I understand that. The really crazy part about all of this has been the unexpected component of her and I getting so much closer, and the communication. The one thing we established is we will not allow anything to compromise our relationship, and we will talk about everything, regardless of how difficult it may seem.
She has a boy toy and she has feelings for him. She still finds a lot of it weird. We go to his place quite a bit and always leave joking that he knows we are coming, have been there a dozen times already, and still as a young single guy has nothing but a six pack and ketchup in his fridge. Its a difference of age and maturity etc that is awkward but makes her feel young and desired by a younger guy.
She absolutely enjoyed the one on one time with him and is well down the road of an emotionaly connected relationship. I asked her point blank if she is in love with him and she said not yet but it is likely headed that way. It took a lot on her part to tell me that and to admit she would like it to happen. We talked and talked and we decided we really like the time all three of us are together, not just the sex, but she needs time with him one on one, again, not just for sex but for sex too. This is the absolute frst time she has asked for anything in this process. I understand that. The really crazy part about all of this has been the unexpected component of her and I getting so much closer, and the communication. The one thing we established is we will not allow anything to compromise our relationship, and we will talk about everything, regardless of how difficult it may seem.
She has a boy toy and she has feelings for him. She still finds a lot of it weird. We go to his place quite a bit and always leave joking that he knows we are coming, have been there a dozen times already, and still as a young single guy has nothing but a six pack and ketchup in his fridge. Its a difference of age and maturity etc that is awkward but makes her feel young and desired by a younger guy.
