Why do we enjoy cuckold lifestyle?

Wifefucker24 said:
Any psychologists out there? Because I'd like to hear why do we have this kind of desires. I'll share my observations if anyone joins.
Click to expand...
there is a lot I can say about this, and other aspects of it, but I will give a brief summarization of my observations.

it is primarily rooted in insecurity. especially when there is humiliation involved. there is also the aspect of voyeurism attached, and living vicariously through your wife. I could also talk about latent homosexual desires, but it also falls into the same train of insecurity and self doubt.

the most important aspect of this is freedom which I will discuss a little later

we often will express our unresolved issues, insecurities, and hidden self through sex. sex represents what people seek. love, acceptance, validation, to feel special. sex is the prize of a woman that she keeps to herself, and only shares with the "right guy" or "special person". when she gives it to you she validates you. you feel special.

when she gives it to others, you don't feel as special. you feel as if her love and care for you was a lie. you feel invalidated, not important, and substandard.

if you are insecure this confirms your negative thoughts about yourself. it is confirmation bias to a certain extent. if we are insecure we can't believe it when someone says, "you did a really great job." or "you're not fat." we think they are only being nice, and lying to us. we think everyone thinks of us the way we see ourselves.

If you are insecure about your sexual performance, dick size, and worthiness to be with a woman (as most men are) to have it confirmed is painful, but there is solace in people being honest with you. telling you like it is. you have a small dick, you cant please your wife, you don't deserve her, she would rather be with me than you, you are a piece of ......, you are a little bitch, you are not a man, etc. all tap into the insecurity of being a man. to truly be masculine is what we want, but always feel like we are just acting out a part. we are not reaching that goal post. we suffer from what is called impersonation syndrome. our masculinity is a lie.

if everyone came out and confirmed your insecurities are based on fact, and you could just admit to it and accept it. there will be peace. you know your place in the world and your place in the relationship. there is freedom in this. there is freedom in just doing what you want to do without being judged as non-masculine. there is freedom and peace in letting someone else control everything, and you wait for their direction. many cucks give up their masculinity as so they can do these things without worrying about how other's may view them or themselves. it has already been determined I am a bitch. I am weak. I am submissive. anything I do that reflects that is par for the course. it is to be accepted. in this state one can be free. also giving up your masculinity is giving up the stresses of being a male. having to always be in control, being strong, knowing how to resolve every problem, over performing, and providing everything.

there is also the fact that cucks prefer masculine men. men that make them feel inferior. athletic, young, good looking, larger cock than theirs. all things they feel they do not possess. To feel inadequate, to feel substandard, to feel non-masculine. the man they wish they could be. they seem so comfortable with their masculinity. see how they take control? see how they don't care about what anyone thinks? see how they take what they want? see how women just give themselves to them? they are a real man...I am not.

the cock is a symbol of masculinity. the larger the cock the more masculine he appears. women do like the thought and sight of large dicks, but many don't really want to actually do anything with them. for many there is pain involved. It is important for the cuck that the bull is to have a larger cock than his present for the insecurities to be confirmed. to see his wife freely be dominated and give herself to his masculinity, and orgasm confirms his inadequacy.

to see ones wife enjoy having sex is arousing in and of itself. men are visual, and because of this we have voyeuristic desires. women generally are more imaginative, and prefer mental images. hence why many women prefer to read a book then watch a movie. they get to picture it within their head, and therefore has much more meaning. great sex with a woman has to do with getting in her head. great sex with a man is him simply getting head. the hotwife thing works for her because of the sexual freedom, power, reinforces her desirability (especially if she has aged a little and thinks she is no longer attractive), and the mental implications of it. for her is is more of a mental turn on than a physical.

it is important for women to feel desired sexually. it validates them. they wouldn't spend so much time on their appearance if they didn't want to be desired. when they are young they get plenty of attention. as they get older not so much. they are competing with the younger women that have youth on their side. they begin to feel like they are no longer attractive, and become the thirsty ones. they have been with their alphas, but eventually want to settle down with a good man. typically it is a beta that can provide. they settle. perhaps this is why they call it "settle down". if they could have the alpha male that could provide, be supportive emotionally, and ring their bell they would have already grabbed them. the problem is they are rare.

the hotwife lifestyle often grants the excitement and attention they got days prior. it gives them a chance to relive their youth, and still be active in the sexual market place. for the cuck he gets to live vicariously through his wife, and deal with his unresolved doubts of masculinity. since it's taboo, sexual, and dangerous it adds excitement to an otherwise boring life.

sex is in the mind. the female can come from any dick or dildo, but what makes it a great cum is what is happening within her mind as it happens. The man has seen his wife have sex with him, as well knows she has had sex with other men prior. watching someone else do it is nothing more than a mind game he plays with himself. couldn't he pretend that a pornstar in a video was his wife and he was watching them from a hidden camera? sure, but it wouldn't quite be the same would it? this is your homework. ask yourself why?

if male or female realize the cuckold / hotwife fetish or kink is nothing more than you wrestling with your unresolved issues in the form of sexual action.
 
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Demented_Donny said:
there is a lot I can say about this, and other aspects of it, but I will give a brief summarization of my observations.

it is primarily rooted in insecurity. especially when there is humiliation involved. there is also the aspect of voyeurism attached, and living vicariously through your wife. I could also talk about latent homosexual desires, but it also falls into the same train of insecurity and self doubt.

the most important aspect of this is freedom which I will discuss a little later

we often will express our unresolved issues, insecurities, and hidden self through sex. sex represents what people seek. love, acceptance, validation, to feel special. sex is the prize of a woman that she keeps to herself, and only shares with the "right guy" or "special person". when she gives it to you she validates you. you feel special.

when she gives it to others, you don't feel as special. you feel as if her love and care for you was a lie. you feel invalidated, not important, and substandard.

if you are insecure this confirms your negative thoughts about yourself. it is confirmation bias to a certain extent. if we are insecure we can't believe it when someone says, "you did a really great job." or "you're not fat." we think they are only being nice, and lying to us. we think everyone thinks of us the way we see ourselves.

If you are insecure about your sexual performance, dick size, and worthiness to be with a woman (as most men are) to have it confirmed is painful, but there is solace in people being honest with you. telling you like it is. you have a small dick, you cant please your wife, you don't deserve her, she would rather be with me than you, you are a piece of ......, you are a little bitch, you are not a man, etc. all tap into the insecurity of being a man. to truly be masculine is what we want, but always feel like we are just acting out a part. we are not reaching that goal post. we suffer from what is called impersonation syndrome. our masculinity is a lie.

if everyone came out and confirmed your insecurities are based on fact, and you could just admit to it and accept it. there will be peace. you know your place in the world and your place in the relationship. there is freedom in this. there is freedom in just doing what you want to do without being judged as non-masculine. there is freedom and peace in letting someone else control everything, and you wait for their direction. many cucks give up their masculinity as so they can do these things without worrying about how other's may view them or themselves. it has already been determined I am a bitch. I am weak. I am submissive. anything I do that reflects that is par for the course. it is to be accepted. in this state one can be free. also giving up your masculinity is giving up the stresses of being a male. having to always be in control, being strong, knowing how to resolve every problem, over performing, and providing everything.

there is also the fact that cucks prefer masculine men. men that make them feel inferior. athletic, young, good looking, larger cock than theirs. all things they feel they do not possess. To feel inadequate, to feel substandard, to feel non-masculine. the man they wish they could be. they seem so comfortable with their masculinity. see how they take control? see how they don't care about what anyone thinks? see how they take what they want? see how women just give themselves to them? they are a real man...I am not.

the cock is a symbol of masculinity. the larger the cock the more masculine he appears. women do like the thought and sight of large dicks, but many don't really want to actually do anything with them. for many there is pain involved. It is important for the cuck that the bull is to have a larger cock than his present for the insecurities to be confirmed. to see his wife freely be dominated and give herself to his masculinity, and orgasm confirms his inadequacy.

to see ones wife enjoy having sex is arousing in and of itself. men are visual, and because of this we have voyeuristic desires. women generally are more imaginative, and prefer mental images. hence why many women prefer to read a book then watch a movie. they get to picture it within their head, and therefore has much more meaning. great sex with a woman has to do with getting in her head. great sex with a man is him simply getting head. the hotwife thing works for her because of the sexual freedom, power, reinforces her desirability (especially if she has aged a little and thinks she is no longer attractive), and the mental implications of it. for her is is more of a mental turn on than a physical.

it is important for women to feel desired sexually. it validates them. they wouldn't spend so much time on their appearance if they didn't want to be desired. when they are young they get plenty of attention. as they get older not so much. they are competing with the younger women that have youth on their side. they begin to feel like they are no longer attractive, and become the thirsty ones. they have been with their alphas, but eventually want to settle down with a good man. typically it is a beta that can provide. they settle. perhaps this is why they call it "settle down". if they could have the alpha male that could provide, be supportive emotionally, and ring their bell they would have already grabbed them. the problem is they are rare.

the hotwife lifestyle often grants the excitement and attention they got days prior. it gives them a chance to relive their youth, and still be active in the sexual market place. for the cuck he gets to live vicariously through his wife, and deal with his unresolved doubts of masculinity. since it's taboo, sexual, and dangerous it adds excitement to an otherwise boring life.

sex is in the mind. the female can come from any dick or dildo, but what makes it a great cum is what is happening within her mind as it happens. The man has seen his wife have sex with him, as well knows she has had sex with other men prior. watching someone else do it is nothing more than a mind game he plays with himself. couldn't he pretend that a pornstar in a video was his wife and he was watching them from a hidden camera? sure, but it wouldn't quite be the same would it? this is your homework. ask yourself why?

if male or female realize the cuckold / hotwife fetish or kink is nothing more than you wrestling with your unresolved issues in the form of sexual action.
Click to expand...
Again, as I've posted elsewhere on this site there are probably as many different reasons couples get into this lifestyle as there are people in it. Trying to find one reason or one model that fits everyone is impossible.
Every time someone tries to do this they are making assumptions about people they don't know and have never met. They have no idea of their backgrounds before they got into the lifestyle or even before they met as a couple.
Not all husbands are sexually inadequate or insecure in their masculinity. Not all wives enjoy humiliating their husbands.
Some women enjoy having one significant lover or bull, some just like to fuck as many guys as possible.
Some guys maybe latently homosexual, some are very happily and openly bi. But being bisexual doesn't necessarily make a guy less masculine, though it might for some. Some husbands will be totally straight and have no desire to have any contact with another guy but enjoy watching their wives getting fucked.
In some couples the husband is denied sex, in others he is actively involved and may even be the one controlling the action.
Some couples get into this because the wife wants to fuck other guys, others because the husband desires his wife to fuck other men. In some relationships the husband may also be fucking other women.
In some relationships the husband may well be submissive but in others it may be the wife that is sub and gets off on other guys using her.
So yes there are stereotypes in this lifestyle that may fit some couples but they don't fit everyone by any means.
There is only one point of commonality in this lifestyle that fits everyone and that is that the wife or gf has sex with other men (or another man). Once you get beyond that, any definition or model you try to make will end up excluding a lot of people.
Sorry about the rant but this is one of my bugbears when anyone tries put forward a single model (or as I've seen on some threads a number of different models) that tries to define what cuckolding/hotwifing/wife sharing (see people can't even agree on a single name) really looks like in practise and the motivations behind it. If there was, then there wouldn't really be a need for a discussion forum like this where people can share their diverse and different experiences, find things they enjoy in common with others and also the things that separate them.
Hell is would be a pretty dull and boring forum - and lifestyle - if everyone liked or thought the same.
Lynn x
 
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Lynnandhubby said:
Again, as I've posted elsewhere on this site there are probably as many different reasons couples get into this lifestyle as there are people in it. Trying to find one reason or one model that fits everyone is impossible.
Every time someone tries to do this they are making assumptions about people they don't know and have never met. They have no idea of their backgrounds before they got into the lifestyle or even before they met as a couple.
Not all husbands are sexually inadequate or insecure in their masculinity. Not all wives enjoy humiliating their husbands.
Some women enjoy having one significant lover or bull, some just like to fuck as many guys as possible.
Some guys maybe latently homosexual, some are very happily and openly bi. But being bisexual doesn't necessarily make a guy less masculine, though it might for some. Some husbands will be totally straight and have no desire to have any contact with another guy but enjoy watching their wives getting fucked.
In some couples the husband is denied sex, in others he is actively involved and may even be the one controlling the action.
Some couples get into this because the wife wants to fuck other guys, others because the husband desires his wife to fuck other men. In some relationships the husband may also be fucking other women.
In some relationships the husband may well be submissive but in others it may be the wife that is sub and gets off on other guys using her.
So yes there are stereotypes in this lifestyle that may fit some couples but they don't fit everyone by any means.
There is only one point of commonality in this lifestyle that fits everyone and that is that the wife or gf has sex with other men (or another man). Once you get beyond that, any definition or model you try to make will end up excluding a lot of people.
Sorry about the rant but this is one of my bugbears when anyone tries put forward a single model (or as I've seen on some threads a number of different models) that tries to define what cuckolding/hotwifing/wife sharing (see people can't even agree on a single name) really looks like in practise and the motivations behind it. If there was, then there wouldn't really be a need for a discussion forum like this where people can share their diverse and different experiences, find things they enjoy in common with others and also the things that separate them.
Hell is would be a pretty dull and boring forum - and lifestyle - if everyone liked or thought the same.
Lynn x
Click to expand...
I respect your input on this, and appreciate your response. humans are unique and you cannot fit all of them in one box as you say, my posting was more about my observations as a generalized statement, and not trying to box everyone in to one definition.
 
Demented_Donny said:
I respect your input on this, and appreciate your response. humans are unique and you cannot fit all of them in one box as you say, my posting was more about my observations as a generalized statement, and not trying to box everyone in to one definition.
Click to expand...
Thanks for that - it is one of my pet peeves so I know it was a bit of a rant. Obviously your experiences are as valid as anyone else's but I suspect we all gravitate to playing in the ways that meets our own needs and so we all have a snapshot of the lifestyle but perhaps none of us have the whole picture xx
 
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Demented_Donny said:
there is a lot I can say about this, and other aspects of it, but I will give a brief summarization of my observations.

it is primarily rooted in insecurity. especially when there is humiliation involved. there is also the aspect of voyeurism attached, and living vicariously through your wife. I could also talk about latent homosexual desires, but it also falls into the same train of insecurity and self doubt.

the most important aspect of this is freedom which I will discuss a little later

we often will express our unresolved issues, insecurities, and hidden self through sex. sex represents what people seek. love, acceptance, validation, to feel special. sex is the prize of a woman that she keeps to herself, and only shares with the "right guy" or "special person". when she gives it to you she validates you. you feel special.

when she gives it to others, you don't feel as special. you feel as if her love and care for you was a lie. you feel invalidated, not important, and substandard.

if you are insecure this confirms your negative thoughts about yourself. it is confirmation bias to a certain extent. if we are insecure we can't believe it when someone says, "you did a really great job." or "you're not fat." we think they are only being nice, and lying to us. we think everyone thinks of us the way we see ourselves.

If you are insecure about your sexual performance, dick size, and worthiness to be with a woman (as most men are) to have it confirmed is painful, but there is solace in people being honest with you. telling you like it is. you have a small dick, you cant please your wife, you don't deserve her, she would rather be with me than you, you are a piece of ......, you are a little bitch, you are not a man, etc. all tap into the insecurity of being a man. to truly be masculine is what we want, but always feel like we are just acting out a part. we are not reaching that goal post. we suffer from what is called impersonation syndrome. our masculinity is a lie.

if everyone came out and confirmed your insecurities are based on fact, and you could just admit to it and accept it. there will be peace. you know your place in the world and your place in the relationship. there is freedom in this. there is freedom in just doing what you want to do without being judged as non-masculine. there is freedom and peace in letting someone else control everything, and you wait for their direction. many cucks give up their masculinity as so they can do these things without worrying about how other's may view them or themselves. it has already been determined I am a bitch. I am weak. I am submissive. anything I do that reflects that is par for the course. it is to be accepted. in this state one can be free. also giving up your masculinity is giving up the stresses of being a male. having to always be in control, being strong, knowing how to resolve every problem, over performing, and providing everything.

there is also the fact that cucks prefer masculine men. men that make them feel inferior. athletic, young, good looking, larger cock than theirs. all things they feel they do not possess. To feel inadequate, to feel substandard, to feel non-masculine. the man they wish they could be. they seem so comfortable with their masculinity. see how they take control? see how they don't care about what anyone thinks? see how they take what they want? see how women just give themselves to them? they are a real man...I am not.

the cock is a symbol of masculinity. the larger the cock the more masculine he appears. women do like the thought and sight of large dicks, but many don't really want to actually do anything with them. for many there is pain involved. It is important for the cuck that the bull is to have a larger cock than his present for the insecurities to be confirmed. to see his wife freely be dominated and give herself to his masculinity, and orgasm confirms his inadequacy.

to see ones wife enjoy having sex is arousing in and of itself. men are visual, and because of this we have voyeuristic desires. women generally are more imaginative, and prefer mental images. hence why many women prefer to read a book then watch a movie. they get to picture it within their head, and therefore has much more meaning. great sex with a woman has to do with getting in her head. great sex with a man is him simply getting head. the hotwife thing works for her because of the sexual freedom, power, reinforces her desirability (especially if she has aged a little and thinks she is no longer attractive), and the mental implications of it. for her is is more of a mental turn on than a physical.

it is important for women to feel desired sexually. it validates them. they wouldn't spend so much time on their appearance if they didn't want to be desired. when they are young they get plenty of attention. as they get older not so much. they are competing with the younger women that have youth on their side. they begin to feel like they are no longer attractive, and become the thirsty ones. they have been with their alphas, but eventually want to settle down with a good man. typically it is a beta that can provide. they settle. perhaps this is why they call it "settle down". if they could have the alpha male that could provide, be supportive emotionally, and ring their bell they would have already grabbed them. the problem is they are rare.

the hotwife lifestyle often grants the excitement and attention they got days prior. it gives them a chance to relive their youth, and still be active in the sexual market place. for the cuck he gets to live vicariously through his wife, and deal with his unresolved doubts of masculinity. since it's taboo, sexual, and dangerous it adds excitement to an otherwise boring life.

sex is in the mind. the female can come from any dick or dildo, but what makes it a great cum is what is happening within her mind as it happens. The man has seen his wife have sex with him, as well knows she has had sex with other men prior. watching someone else do it is nothing more than a mind game he plays with himself. couldn't he pretend that a pornstar in a video was his wife and he was watching them from a hidden camera? sure, but it wouldn't quite be the same would it? this is your homework. ask yourself why?

if male or female realize the cuckold / hotwife fetish or kink is nothing more than you wrestling with your unresolved issues in the form of sexual action.
Click to expand...
 
MaxMinimum said:
There's so much to this question, and not a single answer. Obviously everyone's experience is going to vary, but for me there are a few things that really stand out.

Lust - My wife is my favorite person in the world to have sex with. I've always adored her body, but watching from the outside and seeing how it responds to someone else gives me a whole new appreciation for how sexy she is!

Pride - I've always loved when other guys openly check her out or hit on her, even before I ever discovered my cuckolding fetish. Knowing that other guys look at my wife and lust after her is great! Not even so much as an ego boost for me as for her, but getting outside validation that the woman I love is as sexy as I think she is is wonderful too. I've had guys send me videos of them stroking and cumming to her naked photos, and I always end up stroking to them stroking.

Insecurity- Maybe not an entirely healthy aspect, but I can't deny that it's a part. Knowing that she's fucking someone else triggers a very deep-seated fear of being replaced. It's not logical. My wife and I have great sex, and we have a solid relationship that goes far beyond just the bedroom so I know in my head that she isn't going to leave, but I have a history of getting cheated on, and that's created a definite vulnerability. Dancing around the thing that's caused me so much pain in the past is an extremely intense thing, and I suspect that viewing it through the lens of arousal instead of fear is a coping mechanism. This has become less of a factor over time, but it's still there. It used to be that I had to not cum until the end, as the loss of arousal was like my shields going down. I still prefer to hold off, but now it's because my arousal enhances my enjoyment of the experience.

Fantasy - My wife only fucks people she knows well, and has zero interest in strangers. This is hands down my biggest unfulfilled fantasy! I have little doubt that if she tried it she'd get hooked, but it's her body and her call. The thought of her fucking strangers, and especially in a public or gang bang situation, never fails to get me hard as a rock and I think I know why that's the case for me and for a lot of other cuckolds. I knew my wife for over a year before anything sexual happened between us. We grew together gradually, I courted her, and we enjoyed countless hours together before I even got to see her naked. The idea of her getting naked with complete strangers and giving full access to her body to random men whose names she doesn't even know, is the most erotic thing I can imagine! I can't fully explain it, but the idea that I had to invest so much time and energy before being granted access to her most intimate pleasures, but that other men could get that same physical intimacy with the woman I married- the intimacy that society says should be reserved only for her husband- just by showing up and fucking her... that's heady stuff. In a way I suppose it feels like the intense arousal stems from a perception that it cheapens the value of my efforts and cheapens my own value in the process. That's odd though, because I don't think I really get off on the humiliation aspect of cuckolding. Maybe I actually do!
Click to expand...
Great insight! you’ve summed up how I feel too, it took me a while to realise that jealousy was only jealousy if I let it be now I positively encourage her to fulfill any needs she has although she has only cucked me with one guy ( several times ) watching her fuck was animalistic and mind blowing and letting her spend a whole night alone with him was incredible, when I got her back the next day ( still full of cum ) I had to make sure I gave her a good hard fucking! She said I fucked her with passion and aggression, this lifestyle has made her confidence skyrocket
 
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robandkate said:
I think that the wife fucking other men does wonders for a relationship. I am not a sissy-cuck, so I am only guessing, but I think that for a sissy-cuck, the humiliation of being married to a whore is satisfying on some level. For us hotwife/stag-vixen couples, I think that it is more about instilling a sense of competition.

We know that our wives are sluts/whores and we like them that way. We know that they get hit on all the time by other men and they are likely to accept an invitation to fuck anytime. For me and other husbands like me that we know, it makes us more attentive husbands. I think that we try harder to stay in shape, to be well dressed and well-groomed, and to try harder to please the wife sexually.

I do not respond that way out of fear of losing Kate, I just don't want her to lose interest in having sex with me because she has sex so often with men who are younger, better looking, more muscular, have a bigger cock, and might be better in bed.
Click to expand...
I totally get the competition thing buddy I’ve always played competitive sport so that drive to perform better that another guy is there anyway
 
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Lynnandhubby said:
Thanks for that - it is one of my pet peeves so I know it was a bit of a rant. Obviously your experiences are as valid as anyone else's but I suspect we all gravitate to playing in the ways that meets our own needs and so we all have a snapshot of the lifestyle but perhaps none of us have the whole picture xx
Click to expand...
So why do you do it?
 

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