I'm going to be VERY DIRECT and unfiltered and I DO NOT wish to offend you, I just offer a very COLD version of what I believe is the truth here. If I cause offense, I apologize and will refrain from further commentary on the topic.
I'm not looking for conflict here at all and I know you've both gotten what you consider are mixed messages from my post. Let me make this comment. To ALL of you guys who want this and are ENCOURAGING your wives to have sex with other men. ABOVE is EXACTLY what I have warned you about and predicted. You encouraged her to fuck other guys but she did so on HER terms, exactly as I've told you countless times on this forum could happen. Once you found out, you didn't react positively or stay cool about it, you GOT ANGRY. Now I read about possible divorce in the future. THIS!! I've told you that you can't express anger or jealousy in these circumstances but you did anyway. SURE, you are angry jealous, humiliated, etc. That IS part of this lifestyle. The trouble is my oft stated Rule Number 1) Preserve your primary relationship at all cost, has been ignored.
So, from her perspective, YOU encouraged it, SHE did it HER WAY, and you didn't like that at all. Now, not only do you want her to quit, you've embarrassed her, humiliated her, gotten her into something she never wanted to be into in the first place (most likely) and YOU have brought chaos down on your relationship to the point of losing it. Do you understand this? YOU are to blame, right?
No wonder she's pissed off and angry, dismissive now, etc. She did this, she enjoyed it and she most likely would have enjoyed continuing to do it. But, you stepped in doing everything I've warned you not to do. You really have no excuses in this, as I've said before. Each is clearly embarrassed and has quit their activity. IT"S NEVER COMING BACK! At least not on your terms. If you're lucky, you will let all of this fantasy go now and focus on repairing your relationship, letting her know that you don't blame her and that none of this is her fault. That you understand how it happened, that the experience and lifestyle just isn't right for your relationship and that you should just move on with a normal marriage. Continuing to discuss this or to follow up on all of your suspicions is going to destroy the chances you have of preserving what remains of your marriage.
By the way, so what if her daughter knew about it or other people know about it? That's exactly how it goes, she gets excited, perhaps tells a few close confidants and that's it. Of course her close confidants or going to be pissed off at you when you make her life miserable over this whole thing, and it's a thing that as of now she wishes she had NEVER gotten involved in. By the way, YOU are on THIS SITE discussing this just as she discussed it with her close confidants. She needed that, just like you do.
I know you don't want my advice, but just in case, simply LEAVE HER ALONE over this and let her heal. Stop with the snooping, let her know it's all going to be ok and move on.
I'm going to hit this point also, because you'd better be able to deal with it (and I've also stated this, many times on this site). You can never go back. Other men know the excitement your wife feels when she's filled with sexual desire, how her face looks and her voice changes when she's turned on. They know how her kisses taste and how her lips feel pleasuring their cocks. They know how her pussy tastes and feels and they know the sounds she makes when she craves not yours, but THEIR cocks inside of them. They know what it's like to give her that pleasure, they know the taste of her pussy and the feel of their bare cocks in her pussy and they know the feeling of "unloading their balls" (to use the term so many guys like to use to describe it) inside of your wife. And they've done it over and over. In some cases, other guys have done the same.
Now, you can channel that into some sort of "greatest hits" jackoff material for yourself and call it good and just put the negative feelings you have into the back of your mind. Or, you can obsess over this even further and live the reality of a fantasy gone bad and let it eat you up. I don't know if Mr Hw can help you with how to accomplish any of this, but he went down a different path with me, and I was just as bad or worse as either of your wives during my "cheating years". He just handled it completely differently and I think he's discussed that on the site as well.
As I stated, I don't wish to cause conflict or confusion, I simply wish to help you two out of it and offer this as a warning to the other guys on the site who don't fully grasp the consequences of that which they desire. I really hope I'm not called names or some sort of "Fem Dom Bitch" again over this because that is not my intent or feeling at all.
I wish you both the best of luck and if I've misinterpreted this long running drama then I'm truly sorry.
Mrs Hotwife