She's cheated on me

[Snoopsissy]

A lot more talking, she gives me details but tries to make it out was just basic missionary fucking.

I have decided I do want to give it a go with her, but she knows things have changed and she has to be open, honest and up front in the future,

If we decide to go down the original path we had fanatsised about it will be with me in control.

She understands and also wants to rebuild our relationship. However, she has no gone back to saying what she was saying before all this, " I don't think I could ever do it (again)". She is sighting the pain it has caused, but I have pointed out that that was due to the deceit.

Ah I see , and we all know the missionary thing is another lie still trying to downgrade it / him the office stud only going that 😂😂😂 yes that sounds good but that was the original premise you started out on before she went solo . And alarm bells would be ringing if mines changed her view on it ( don’t think she could ever do it again ) - maybe there’s someone else in the picture or same one again for that to change ? If she knows you are turned on by what they did , why downplay the details ? - surely if you wanted to try cuckold again you would both share the buzz by talking about it . That might be because it was his and hers pleasure / you weren’t then ans still not now being allowed even a brief view into there fucking now , so I’d say she still keeping a few things from you - keep the control over her and hopefully you both can move on 👍

 

[Hwcouple702]

"If we decide to go down the original path we had fanatsised about it will be with me in control."

" keep the control over her and hopefully you both can move on"

She's already gone down the path SHE fantasized about and she enjoyed it. If you're lucky, what she says about not doing it again will be true, you will stop the fantasy and discussion of all of this and you will live a vanilla life TOGETHER after all of this. Certainly neither of the above quoted posts reflect an understanding of anything about what is going on here. You ARE NOT in '"control" of her and having it however YOU desire it is not how she's living this now. Your fantasy isn't doing it for her and clearly she has no interest in YOU being in "control" of her sex life. That's why she wants to shut up about what she's done, not tell you details and why she wants to just forget about all of this. If you keep bringing this up it's not going to turn out well. You're off the wall with your fantasy now but the reality needs to be dealt with soon. Let it go and move on. Stop pestering her,. This is NEVER going to work out how you want it to. It's over.

 

[StaggedCuck]

Ah I see , and we all know the missionary thing is another lie still trying to downgrade it / him the office stud only going that 😂😂😂 yes that sounds good but that was the original premise you started out on before she went solo . And alarm bells would be ringing if mines changed her view on it ( don’t think she could ever do it again ) - maybe there’s someone else in the picture or same one again for that to change ? If she knows you are turned on by what they did , why downplay the details ? - surely if you wanted to try cuckold again you would both share the buzz by talking about it . That might be because it was his and hers pleasure / you weren’t then ans still not now being allowed even a brief view into there fucking now , so I’d say she still keeping a few things from you - keep the control over her and hopefully you both can move on 👍

It I know it is a lie, I think saying that and the downplaying is due to her feeling embarrassed now. It could also be hurt if as we suspected he dumped her?

 

[StaggedCuck]

"If we decide to go down the original path we had fanatsised about it will be with me in control."

" keep the control over her and hopefully you both can move on"

She's already gone down the path SHE fantasized about and she enjoyed it. If you're lucky, what she says about not doing it again will be true, you will stop the fantasy and discussion of all of this and you will live a vanilla life TOGETHER after all of this. Certainly neither of the above quoted posts reflect an understanding of anything about what is going on here. You ARE NOT in '"control" of her and having it however YOU desire it is not how she's living this now. Your fantasy isn't doing it for her and clearly she has no interest in YOU being in "control" of her sex life. That's why she wants to shut up about what she's done, not tell you details and why she wants to just forget about all of this. If you keep bringing this up it's not going to turn out well. You're off the wall with your fantasy now but the reality needs to be dealt with soon. Let it go and move on. Stop pestering her,. This is NEVER going to work out how you want it to. It's over.

You have a very blinkered view which you continue to try and force on discussions, you don't seem to have the ability to consider that things can be different for other people. This can clearly be seen by the way you once again feel the need to use capitals to highlight words YOU think are important.

 

[Hwcouple702]

You have a very blinkered view which you continue to try and force on discussions, you don't seem to have the ability to consider that things can be different for other people. This can clearly be seen by the way you once again feel the need to use capitals to highlight words YOU think are important.

They ARE important. But I'll leave this to you now.

 

[ruhimalhotra]

Did she tell you about it?

 

[Leeman Bennett]

My wife has had fun with a couple of guys, and I'm ok with that, but she has stopped following our rules. In the past I would see the messages between them, but now she hides them from me. The big problem with the guy she's fucking now it we are going to be exposed. I don't want our families knowing, but she's chasing the dick like it's going out of style.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Hmmm,...what did you expect?

She after something thats missing...

 

[Snoopsissy]

My wife has had fun with a couple of guys, and I'm ok with that, but she has stopped following our rules. In the past I would see the messages between them, but now she hides them from me. The big problem with the guy she's fucking now it we are going to be exposed. I don't want our families knowing, but she's chasing the dick like it's going out of style.

In what way are you going to be exposed ? , her for putting out or you for being a cuck - or both ?👗

 

[Billybunt]

Maybe she is only saying to you that she has ended it but in reality it’s still ongoing or on hold for some reason which is why she’s not giving much away ? . As you say what she has said isn’t ringing true so maybe more and detailed things may cause her to slip up or give you different stories ?. She doesn’t want to condemn herself so is keeping quiet .? She knew you wanted to be involved in some of the decisions but had the affair anyway - So don’t understand why she didn’t tell you - unless even the other guy is actually someone you would not approve of or someone out of bounds ? - so how did you find out about the affair then ?

My wife had an office affair for a long time before I found out, when I did I felt much like you but didn't want to lose her, even though I agreed she could see him she eventually left me and we got divorced, we were seperated for about one and a half years she didn't even want my son, she left him with me, and when he eventually dumped her she came back to me, we had a long discussion and got together again, we have now been together for 45 years but she never stopped cheating, I think once a cheater always a cheater but it can make your sex life very good, she was always horny

 

[Snoopsissy]

My wife had an office affair for a long time before I found out, when I did I felt much like you but didn't want to lose her, even though I agreed she could see him she eventually left me and we got divorced, we were seperated for about one and a half years she didn't even want my son, she left him with me, and when he eventually dumped her she came back to me, we had a long discussion and got together again, we have now been together for 45 years but she never stopped cheating, I think once a cheater always a cheater but it can make your sex life very good, she was always horny

Well each to there own but I would never -ever- have taken her back , to turn her back on her own son is unforgivable in my eyes - but again to now have been together for a further 45 years is testament to you both so I suppose life has balanced itself out - couldn’t have been easy for you to cope with all that

 

[Criticalkink]

I don't mean to sound harsh here, but this is a "reality check". She did NOT TELL YOU because she KNOWS YOU! All you have to realize is how you are reacting here, all of the drama, all of the mixed feelings, etc. You wanted her to do it, you encouraged her and she did do it, on HER TERMS. She's not going to come to you to get approval for every guy she wants to play with. She really shouldn't have to. If you just leave her alone about her sex life and let her enjoy it, then you will probably enjoy it more also. You have to realize that she's going to fuck other guys and that's what you encouraged. You have to get past the hurt and betrayed feelings and just enjoy the thrill of this. It's VERY difficult and that's why this type of relationship is so tough. As much as you guys want this in your fantasies, when it happens and you aren't in control of it, then you can't stand it. Just try to get over it. People from work know about it and her friends probably know about it. Just act normal and understand that those other people really don't matter at all to your relationship.

The one thing I would be concerned with IS your relationship. None of this will work if your relationship isn't solid and in that case you must insist that she stop. She MUST understand that your relationship is most important. That doesn't mean that every time YOU feel betrayed or angry that some other guy is fucking her and then go back to encouraging her when you're horny again, that it's a RELATIONSHIP issue. A real issue is either of you losing interest in the other. It would take me far too long to put together some sort of article on how my husband and I have gone about this since day 1 and I doubt anybody would read it anyway. We were always pretty sexually uninhibited and pretty far out there when it came to adventure. The REASON I cheated on him was because it was convenient, I got a thrill out of it and I knew he would disagree with many of my choices. I wasn't willing to abide by that. He WANTED me to do this from before we were married, he encouraged it, etc. I cheated because I did not really know how he would react once it became reality and I didn't want to lose him over it if for some reason our fantasy became reality and turned him off about me. It didn't work out that way, but I was willing to risk "cheating" and getting caught because I always had the fact on my side that he encouraged it and that I had told him I was NOT going to be faithful. Whether he actually believed that, I didn't know at the time. I had TONS OF SEX outside of our marriage and I didn't know if he would approve of that either or just figured "fooling around" and the occasional slip up with a few guys was as far as it would go. It went much farther, so I lied and kept up what I was doing. I did try to mind his feelings, not risk our relationship and avoided ANYTHING that would threaten his career reputation. He admitted later that he knew about many of my adventures and was actually turned on by my lies. I know they were stupid and not believable, but I had to come up with something and he had to trust me due to our "rules".

I know this is convoluted and is so brief as to probably seem a bit incoherent, but I can't write a book on here about it and I wanted to get these points out to you. Just let her have sexual pleasure and don't give her grief about it. Mr Hw and I had very few rules, but we agreed that we would NEVER badger one another about any suspicions we had or what we had been doing. We could ask and the other could not reply. That was how most of my cheating went down. Even if he suspected, or actually caught me, he couldn't say anything about it or if he did I would lie to him and he HAD TO ACCEPT my answer. WE NEVER had any sort of tiff over my sexual dalliances and I have always had a very active sex life outside of my marriage. There were times when I stopped or slowed down significantly during the years, but having an active dating and sex life outside of my WONDERFUL marriage has always been important for me. I can't imagine being married any other way.

Oh well, you can ask questions if I've confused you or just ignore this. I'm trying to help but understand if it's confusing.

Best of luck

Mrs Hotwife

EDIT: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT I NEVER gave him reason to be jealous of my love or my dedication to him. I NEVER got involved in any sort of relationship that involved "feelings" for another man. I believe he knew I was always about sex and NOT about the "love" of someone else. I told him he would ALWAYS have my love forever in the same conversation that I told him that I would not be faithful to him with my BODY. Two totally different things.

Also, we've never had substance abuse or alcohol problems, problems being responsible, problems holding jobs, etc. I'm just a normal wife with a VERY slutty secret life. I understand that all of those things can put much stress on a relationship and could make the way I do things seem a bit impractical for those with different issues.

I realize I’m late to the party here but what you said couldn’t have been more perfect. At least for me and my wife. I love not knowing what she’s doing or “catching her after the fact” much more than dictating her every move. To me that’s just wrong. I’m going to catch up on your posts and see just how much it parallels my marriage. I am going to guess that it will pretty much be a mirror.

 

[Sherryscuck]

I am new here, don't even know if I am posting this in the right place.

A couple of months ago my wife out of the blue confessed to having an affair, which she apparently ended.

I have been upset and angry but also very weirdly turned on by it.

I am hurt and angry that she could do this to me.

But I am turned on by the fact that she could do it and I can't help imagining them doing it.

I have no one to confide in or discuss this with.

I think you really need to find out why she did it. Does she not love you anymore. Does she just feel the need for a different cock and intimacy with another man?(HOPEFULLY) and if so why she felt she could not confide in you with her feelings. This could bring you two much closer and get some new things to do.

 

[Billybunt]

Well each to there own but I would never -ever- have taken her back , to turn her back on her own son is unforgivable in my eyes - but again to now have been together for a further 45 years is testament to you both so I suppose life has balanced itself out - couldn’t have been easy for you to cope with all that

As I have got older sometimes I think if that selfish act of her's and it does bother me to some extent

 

[Snoopsissy]

As I have got older sometimes I think if that selfish act of her's and it does bother me to some extent

Yes I’m sure it does and naturally so , you must have loved her deeply to give her that chance again

 

[Billybunt]

Yes I’m sure it does and naturally so , you must have loved her deeply to give her that chance again

Yes, she is the only woman that I love with heart and soul, nowadays she is becoming more abusive and I am thinking of leaving but not sure it's worth it, now 69 and if I leave it will I will most likely face a lonely future

 

[Sgt Ray]

Yes, she is the only woman that I love with heart and soul, nowadays she is becoming more abusive and I am thinking of leaving but not sure it's worth it, now 69 and if I leave it will I will most likely face a lonely future

Find someone to leave her for!

 

[hotwifeluvr]

Embrace the arousal, let go of the anger, and the sense that it is weird. It is extremely common.

 

[Sgt Ray]

Embrace the arousal, let go of the anger, and the sense that it is weird. It is extremely common.

Very well said!

 

[Snoopsissy]

Yes, she is the only woman that I love with heart and soul, nowadays she is becoming more abusive and I am thinking of leaving but not sure it's worth it, now 69 and if I leave it will I will most likely face a lonely future

I am sad to hear of your reply and situation now facing you - but surely living a lonely life without an Abusive wife is a better life to live and as sgt Ray has stated - you are still young enough to find someone else - I think your wife owes you a decent old age life considering - what about your son - live with him ?