My wife says that she feels very uncomfortable if I am in the room, the most that she has let me watch is kissing, handjobs, I have yet to see her take a lover's cock inside her pussy. Also she prefers not to tell her date/lover that she is a hotwife, treats it like a an affair. Once or twice she has passed herself off as single. She will tell me the whole story afterwards though
If Kate feels that a guy enjoys the 'sneaking around' aspect she will lie and tell him that I don't know about them fucking. We have a couple of married friends who each prefer that I not know they are fucking my wife so Kate plays along. I find it erotic to be around guys who are fucking my wife and think that I do not know about it.