Fantasy vs. Reality

[Sherlock40]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

 

[jaandaj]

Anyone else have wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

If u feel jealous already then don't proceed. Some guys get through it easy some don't. It's a complete rollercoaster ride of emotion. And when us guys ask for it can't blame her at all for doing what she does.

You can let her in on the fantasy but let her know u think u would be to jealous to do it in real life. Maybe some role play and u will get past it all. But go slow. Openly talk about all of it. Cum remorse is a huge thing too. Guys think it's all great she rides a hard cock. Then u bust ur nut and start thinking to much about it!
There are a lot of real people on here to help with great advice. Never be afraid to reach out to any of us

 

[Sherlock40]

If u feel jealous already then don't proceed. Some guys get through it easy some don't. It's a complete rollercoaster ride of emotion. And when us guys ask for it can't blame her at all for doing what she does.

You can let her in on the fantasy but let her know u think u would be to jealous to do it in real life. Maybe some role play and u will get past it all. But go slow. Openly talk about all of it. Cum remorse is a huge thing too. Guys think it's all great she rides a hard cock. Then u bust ur nut and start thinking to much about it!
There are a lot of real people on here to help with great advice. Never be afraid to reach out to any of us

I appreciate the advice! Makes a lot of sense the way you put it.

 

[YourNewBull]

There are many fantasies that should remain as such. I think this post is an excellent indicator that you know that about cuckolding and your relationship. Some bells cannot be unrung, and this isn't for everyone.

 

[boaty]

I’ll post my story and questions soon but to help from someone that just did this. Be fucking careful. Like they say, you can’t uniting the bell. How true this is.

I’ve been into the fantasy for a LONG time. When I watched porn it was practically the only porn I would watch. If you bring it up to your lady you need to study her response and set ground rules and talk talk talk. If either of you don’t agree on something figure it out and be certain where you both stand going forward. Any discrepancies on an expected outcome could mean disaster and you can’t take it back. Also be fearful of her seeing you different. Do not l, I repeat do not push if she’s not into it. If ...... goes south you need her support to help you emotionally, and vice versa.

I will tell you that being jealous and wanting this is enough to make your head split, I was horny and stroking but dying inside. Felt sick to my stomach lost a bunch of weight and then find myself fantasizing over it again. And to those saying ya you just get through that and your a cuck well let me tell you it isn’t that easy. Ask yourself, after the sex is done and days have passed will you be ok if she is talking to this guy all the time. Will you be ok not knowing what she is doing, will you be ok if she comes home late and legit has a reason but you have it in your head she might have been with him, ask yourself if you are ok with her having another relationship outside of yours. Are you guys strong enough to endure that? Will she view you the same? He will be new and exciting.. can you deal with the lack of attention you will receive? If you have an argument and she goes to see him will you be fearful of your relationship?

Look this stuff doesn’t always happen but it could and it does. Fantasy is cool it’s hot, but be careful turning this into reality

 

[Hardluck35]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

I love hearing about my wife’s past partners if they were just flings, seeing her get checked out by other guys, or her telling me about celebrities she wants to fuck. And she is welcome to turn her head out in public. But we keep it fantasy only. Fantasy is just that…not actually happening.

I would tread very lightly and slowly if just checking guys out makes you jealous.

 

[divaD]

What eases any jealous i might have is that fact my wife has such a wide spread of men which in turn avoid fear of feelings, she's more than welcome to do what she wants sexually.

I actually felt alot worse hiding from this lifestyle than being in it athlough it took years to come to this acceptance.

 

[Joecde3vfr4]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

I have had this conversation with my wife a few times. I think the fantasy is amazing and I will always fantasize about getting to see her with a huge cock some day.

However, she has been through this with her first husband. He shared her with a few of his friends and then got extremely jealous because she obviously enjoyed getting fucked and was receiving more pleasure than he could ever give her.

He started getting really jealous and was a jerk about how much she liked one guy and his huge cock. She got tired of his comments and ended up leaving him for the other guy.

She says someone always gets hurt in these situations. I think it would have been different if her husband didn’t get jealous and freak out.

I honestly don’t think I would be much better than he was at accepting seeing her used and owned by a better lover. For me it is better left as a fantasy for now.

 

[Catholic_Wife]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

We are into this LS for some time (some years already) but I (husband) still feel jealous anytime I see a guy ogling over her body in public or trying to chat her up inadvertently. Yes, we enjoy MFM, swinging and she going out with our male friends in LS, but we both feel jealousy whenever someone in our daily or vanilla lives advances any signals towards us.

That is because a relationship and the sexual adventures can be quite distinct acts. It is a very different situation whenever a couple is consently and eagerly sharing themselves with other people in comparison to a situation where other men or women are just trying to lead your spouse to cheat.

So your feeling is not uncommon.

The point you might ask yourselves (and we also did it) is...Can we handle our curiosity about hotwifing to the point we could experiment it?

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I’ll post my story and questions soon but to help from someone that just did this. Be fucking careful. Like they say, you can’t uniting the bell. How true this is.

I’ve been into the fantasy for a LONG time. When I watched porn it was practically the only porn I would watch. If you bring it up to your lady you need to study her response and set ground rules and talk talk talk. If either of you don’t agree on something figure it out and be certain where you both stand going forward. Any discrepancies on an expected outcome could mean disaster and you can’t take it back. Also be fearful of her seeing you different. Do not l, I repeat do not push if she’s not into it. If ...... goes south you need her support to help you emotionally, and vice versa.

I will tell you that being jealous and wanting this is enough to make your head split, I was horny and stroking but dying inside. Felt sick to my stomach lost a bunch of weight and then find myself fantasizing over it again. And to those saying ya you just get through that and your a cuck well let me tell you it isn’t that easy. Ask yourself, after the sex is done and days have passed will you be ok if she is talking to this guy all the time. Will you be ok not knowing what she is doing, will you be ok if she comes home late and legit has a reason but you have it in your head she might have been with him, ask yourself if you are ok with her having another relationship outside of yours. Are you guys strong enough to endure that? Will she view you the same? He will be new and exciting.. can you deal with the lack of attention you will receive? If you have an argument and she goes to see him will you be fearful of your relationship?

Look this stuff doesn’t always happen but it could and it does. Fantasy is cool it’s hot, but be careful turning this into reality

You brought great reflexions.

One aspect that is kinda overlooked or even mocked in LS forums is the one related to rules. Yes, rules. We don't know any couple which enjoys an unorthodox sex life and remains together that doesn't rely on agreed rules or habits.

Exemplifying, Wife could talk and even see guys by herself but it happens with Husband consent only. We both could stop any conversation or sex meeting if we feel something is not clicking the right way anymore. And yes, we both might call it all off for any reasons. That must be talked and agreed just between the two before experiencing LS.

Some couples might comply with it, some other wouldn't be able to carry on to turn fantasy in reality, and that is also fine.

Life just couldn't be a perpetual gangbang scene like in porn.

 

[majorem]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

How long have you been together? I used to be pretty jealous back in my 20s, then a little jealous in my 30s before I got married. I think a lot of it was due to insecurity. My girlfriend, now wife, was a bit wilder than other girls I'd dated and I think I was always afraid she might cheat. As it turns out, that was totally unfounded to the point where now, I've had a pretty tough time with the whole sharing fantasy.

Funny thing is, part of what led me to the sharing fantasy is that, right before we got engaged, we broke up for a few months before finally getting back together permanently. I remember feeling sick every weekend, thinking she was probably out getting fucked... but also turned on. When we got back together, she said she went on a couple dates but nothing happened. I left it at that for a couple years but, knowing my wife, I knew something definitely happened and I would fantasize about it but also feel jealous when I did. Eventually, ...... one night, she confessed to fucking someone, then later to more than one person. Over time, I felt less and less jealous and more just turned on. I started to get interested in the idea of seeing her with another man.

When I told her about that, she was initially upset, then eventually admitted it turned her on but would only talk about it as a fantasy and said it would never happen. This has been going on for years and, over time, she has gradually become more comfortable with it and able to express her arousal. She loves to get DPed with my cock and a dildo, she's fucked her dildo while sucking my cock, we even 69ed while I used a dildo on her with lots of "cum lube", then talked dirty about how her pussy was full of cum when I slid my cock in after.

I've also become more comfortable and interested in making it a reality... however... I did have a moment, about a year ago, where she finally said she didn't want me to feel like I missed out on anything and basically asked what I wanted to happen... and I was so unprepared, never expecting to hear that, that I sort of panicked, felt woozy confronted with the reality of it and totally fumbled my reply, which I'm sure made her realize I wasn't actually ready and we haven't had any serious direct talk about actually doing it since.

I had to go back and do some real soul-searching about it. I think part of it is that I just wasn't sure how I actually wanted it to happen and the awkwardness of discussing it so directly and being afraid of her reaction. Either way, I feel like I've come to terms with my feelings and hope to make some actual progress in the not too distant future.

What I would say though, based on the experience so far, even though I haven't made it a reality and don't really know yet how I'll feel if I do, is that I definitely wasn't ready 8 years ago when I first brought this up to my wife. You don't have to dive into actually doing it and, from what you say, it is probably best to just keep it in the fantasy zone for a couple years and see how you progress. Start to incorporate it into your sex as roleplay / fantasy - get her to suck you while she fucks a dildo. Watch some MFM porn. You can eventually tell her the idea of seeing her suck another cock while you fuck her turns you on, or something like that... but keep it just a fantasy until you really feel ready.

Marriage lasts a long time (unless you fuck it up haha) so there's really no rush. How you feel now can and will eventually change the longer you're together, the more secure you feel and the more acclimated you become to the fantasy.

 

[Discretefun66]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

Knowing if your ready is a hard question to answer. It’s complicated in many ways, especially emotionally, both for the husband and the wife. There is a big difference between wanting to see your wife with another man, and seeing you wife with another man. You have to have compersion (a feeling of happiness caused by another person's happiness, especially by seeing one's romantic or sexual partner interacting positively with another one of their partners) to really appreciate the dynamics of an open marriage. You have to come to terms that for you, once it happens it can’t be taken back, you can’t un-see what you have seen, and your wife can’t be unfucked. Even though I thought I wanted to share my wife and was ready, I admit that in those first few experiences I was not as ready as I thought and struggled with many mixed feelings. Psychologically it was a bit of a mind fuck and it was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. It takes a certain kind of man to be able to push pass being overly possessive of your wife and moving on from the way of thinking or mindset established by old moral traditions and tired clichés. Also, everyone has an ego, and as expected I felt jealousy, insecurity, inadequacy, and was just plain uncomfortable seeing some other guy buried balls deep in MY wife. I had to suppress my initial reaction or urge to stop everything. By not stopping what was happening I was giving away the most important person in my life to another man. It tested my self confidence and my confidence in my relationship with my wife. The doubt crept in to my thoughts, is he better than me, does he make her feel things I can’t, would she still want me, and would she still love me. Not to mention the physical difference, younger, better body, better looking, bigger cock etc. Sharing your wife tests the trust, love, and security of a marriage. I would add that prior to anything happening, the wife and me and many conversations about it to try and agree on some of our expectations and concerns.

 

[NeedaDomInMI]

I was pretty much ready to turn it into reality. My wife had no interest, period.
I have given up on the fantasy too. It is still great to read about other guys who finally got their wives to take that last leap and found out it was great.

 

[Lovefeet]

Knowing if your ready is a hard question to answer. It’s complicated in many ways, especially emotionally, both for the husband and the wife. There is a big difference between wanting to see your wife with another man, and seeing you wife with another man. You have to have compersion (a feeling of happiness caused by another person's happiness, especially by seeing one's romantic or sexual partner interacting positively with another one of their partners) to really appreciate the dynamics of an open marriage. You have to come to terms that for you, once it happens it can’t be taken back, you can’t un-see what you have seen, and your wife can’t be unfucked. Even though I thought I wanted to share my wife and was ready, I admit that in those first few experiences I was not as ready as I thought and struggled with many mixed feelings. Psychologically it was a bit of a mind fuck and it was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. It takes a certain kind of man to be able to push pass being overly possessive of your wife and moving on from the way of thinking or mindset established by old moral traditions and tired clichés. Also, everyone has an ego, and as expected I felt jealousy, insecurity, inadequacy, and was just plain uncomfortable seeing some other guy buried balls deep in MY wife. I had to suppress my initial reaction or urge to stop everything. By not stopping what was happening I was giving away the most important person in my life to another man. It tested my self confidence and my confidence in my relationship with my wife. The doubt crept in to my thoughts, is he better than me, does he make her feel things I can’t, would she still want me, and would she still love me. Not to mention the physical difference, younger, better body, better looking, bigger cock etc. Sharing your wife tests the trust, love, and security of a marriage. I would add that prior to anything happening, the wife and me and many conversations about it to try and agree on some of our expectations and concerns.

Eloquently stated...exactly what I'm going thru on the cusp of her 3rd play date...all tho I thoroughly enjoyed watching her suck him and fuck him..it was the initial kissing that was the gut punch. And yes, definitely an emotional roller-coaster after wards. But a loving wife with lots of conversation is The key.

 

[Discretefun66]

I was pretty much ready to turn it into reality. My wife had no interest, period.
I have given up on the fantasy too. It is still great to read about other guys who finally got their wives to take that last leap and found out it was great

Eloquently stated...exactly what I'm going thru on the cusp of her 3rd play date...all tho I thoroughly enjoyed watching her suck him and fuck him..it was the initial kissing that was the gut punch. And yes, definitely an emotional roller-coaster after wards. But a loving wife with lots of conversation is The key.

Thanks Love feet, glad post resonated. Agree kissing was a bit of a gut punch. Especially when it was one of those cheek hallowing deep tounge kisses.

 

[Sherlock40]

Thank you everyone for all the advice. This is an amazing community for everyone to be so supportive and helpful.

I honestly think I just need to get over the jealousy. I have some insecurities from my past, but my wife and I have an incredibly strong, loyal relationship. That makes me believe we can have a healthy wife-sharing situation once we’re both at the point of being comfortable with it.

Based on the advice here, I decided I’m going to open up to her about my fantasy, and take it slow from there. From what I know of her, I think she would be receptive to it. And it would be helpful to me if we talked openly about things, like her past sexual experiences, guys she thinks are hot, etc.

I’m thinking of ways to start the conversation and I have one idea. We like using dildos during sex, so I figured that would be an easy and fun way to bring it up… talk about her having “another dick” or something like that. We’ll see!

P.S. Someone asked how long we’ve been together… 4 years. Second marriage for me, first for her.

 

[thebeginner]

So far my wife and her bulls have only played solo. It's always been my desire to be there with them when they're having sex, but we found that it was just easier to meet guys who wanted to fuck her without me being there. Once they've started a relationship it's been awkward to meet them after the fact. I love that she enjoys fucking them and I have never been jealous. Strangely though whenever we're out and I see other guys, I have a hard time picturing any of them fucking her.

 

[Diver_35]

If you are felling the slight bit of jealousy then keep it a fantasy. It is not worth the problems it will lead to.

 

[ultra_man]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

Probably best left as a fantasy. Most women are not into that like many men are. If she seems to actually wants to it maybe, but I'd never push my wife into that. I think its a little risky.

 

[PNNP]

Still on fantasy only, and she obviously getting more used to it and teasing me more now in a good way, but there is a fine line where there is not okay anymore for both of us.

If we will do it in real life it is more about the setting than just doing it.

It needs to feel natural and clean and done with respect for all parts.