Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).
I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?
How long have you been together? I used to be pretty jealous back in my 20s, then a little jealous in my 30s before I got married. I think a lot of it was due to insecurity. My girlfriend, now wife, was a bit wilder than other girls I'd dated and I think I was always afraid she might cheat. As it turns out, that was totally unfounded to the point where now, I've had a pretty tough time with the whole sharing fantasy.
Funny thing is, part of what led me to the sharing fantasy is that, right before we got engaged, we broke up for a few months before finally getting back together permanently. I remember feeling sick every weekend, thinking she was probably out getting fucked... but also turned on. When we got back together, she said she went on a couple dates but nothing happened. I left it at that for a couple years but, knowing my wife, I knew something definitely happened and I would fantasize about it but also feel jealous when I did. Eventually, ...... one night, she confessed to fucking someone, then later to more than one person. Over time, I felt less and less jealous and more just turned on. I started to get interested in the idea of seeing her with another man.
When I told her about that, she was initially upset, then eventually admitted it turned her on but would only talk about it as a fantasy and said it would never happen. This has been going on for years and, over time, she has gradually become more comfortable with it and able to express her arousal. She loves to get DPed with my cock and a dildo, she's fucked her dildo while sucking my cock, we even 69ed while I used a dildo on her with lots of "cum lube", then talked dirty about how her pussy was full of cum when I slid my cock in after.
I've also become more comfortable and interested in making it a reality... however... I did have a moment, about a year ago, where she finally said she didn't want me to feel like I missed out on anything and basically asked what I wanted to happen... and I was so unprepared, never expecting to hear that, that I sort of panicked, felt woozy confronted with the reality of it and totally fumbled my reply, which I'm sure made her realize I wasn't actually ready and we haven't had any serious direct talk about actually doing it since.
I had to go back and do some real soul-searching about it. I think part of it is that I just wasn't sure how I actually wanted it to happen and the awkwardness of discussing it so directly and being afraid of her reaction. Either way, I feel like I've come to terms with my feelings and hope to make some actual progress in the not too distant future.
What I would say though, based on the experience so far, even though I haven't made it a reality and don't really know yet how I'll feel if I do, is that I definitely wasn't ready 8 years ago when I first brought this up to my wife. You don't have to dive into actually doing it and, from what you say, it is probably best to just keep it in the fantasy zone for a couple years and see how you progress. Start to incorporate it into your sex as roleplay / fantasy - get her to suck you while she fucks a dildo. Watch some MFM porn. You can eventually tell her the idea of seeing her suck another cock while you fuck her turns you on, or something like that... but keep it just a fantasy until you really feel ready.
Marriage lasts a long time (unless you fuck it up haha) so there's really no rush. How you feel now can and will eventually change the longer you're together, the more secure you feel and the more acclimated you become to the fantasy.