Fantasy vs. Reality

[Superstar7]

She was worried that I would feel negatively about her after. I worried that I'd regret it or get jealous. We both worried about it being safe.

My wife is worried about the emotions. I worry about them a little but not as much as her. I worry about her being comfortable mentally more than anything else.

 

[sinsnaps]

My wife is worried about the emotions. I worry about them a little but not as much as her. I worry about her being comfortable mentally more than anything else.

Your wife will stop worrying about the emotions the moment he slides into her. For a while. Probably. You being cool about it and reassuring should help greatly with her being comfortable before, during, and after, always.

 

[Superstar7]

Your wife will stop worrying about the emotions the moment he slides into her. For a while. Probably. You being cool about it and reassuring should help greatly with her being comfortable before, during, and after, always.

I appreciate the reassurance. May the forse be with you!

 

[sinsnaps]

I appreciate the reassurance. May the forse be with you!

This is the way.

 

[Mister_De_Sade]

My wife is worried about the emotions. I worry about them a little but not as much as her. I worry about her being comfortable mentally more than anything else.

On average, women tend to tie emotions into sex more so than most men, but it just depends on the individual.

My wife and I had many conversations about keeping things somewhat impersonal before I set up her first gangbang. Of course we've had our share of hiccups, but it's all a learning and growing experience. Just make sure that you're both good at communicating and have clearly laid out boundaries and safe words (if needed) before going through with anything. That way any disappointing or underwhelming experiences will just help you grown closer rather than become a wedge.

 

[Superstar7]

On average, women tend to tie emotions into sex more so than most men, but it just depends on the individual.

My wife and I had many conversations about keeping things somewhat impersonal before I set up her first gangbang. Of course we've had our share of hiccups, but it's all a learning and growing experience. Just make sure that you're both good at communicating and have clearly laid out boundaries and safe words (if needed) before going through with anything. That way any disappointing or underwhelming experiences will just help you grown closer rather than become a wedge.

Thanks!

 

[Irishman25]

I brought up a MFM to my wife again yesterday, and she responded "I don't think I'd like the way I'd feel after it was done" Would love some female perspective about what this means and how I can ease her mind.

 

[Phaed]

If you approach it responsibly, you will find that most people are good at respecting your limits. There are all types of kinks and interests out there. Many couples have a "no kissing" policy, which I think addresses jealousies by placing limits on "emotional" intimacy.

 

[TommyFunn]

I’ll post my story and questions soon but to help from someone that just did this. Be fucking careful. Like they say, you can’t uniting the bell. How true this is.

I’ve been into the fantasy for a LONG time. When I watched porn it was practically the only porn I would watch. If you bring it up to your lady you need to study her response and set ground rules and talk talk talk. If either of you don’t agree on something figure it out and be certain where you both stand going forward. Any discrepancies on an expected outcome could mean disaster and you can’t take it back. Also be fearful of her seeing you different. Do not l, I repeat do not push if she’s not into it. If ...... goes south you need her support to help you emotionally, and vice versa.

I will tell you that being jealous and wanting this is enough to make your head split, I was horny and stroking but dying inside. Felt sick to my stomach lost a bunch of weight and then find myself fantasizing over it again. And to those saying ya you just get through that and your a cuck well let me tell you it isn’t that easy. Ask yourself, after the sex is done and days have passed will you be ok if she is talking to this guy all the time. Will you be ok not knowing what she is doing, will you be ok if she comes home late and legit has a reason but you have it in your head she might have been with him, ask yourself if you are ok with her having another relationship outside of yours. Are you guys strong enough to endure that? Will she view you the same? He will be new and exciting.. can you deal with the lack of attention you will receive? If you have an argument and she goes to see him will you be fearful of your relationship?

Look this stuff doesn’t always happen but it could and it does. Fantasy is cool it’s hot, but be careful turning this into reality

There's a lot of wisdom here and many good points were made. It really gives us a lot to think about.

 

[Superstar7]

There's a lot of wisdom here and many good points were made. It really gives us a lot to think about.

I appreciate the post and I look forward to learning from your story.

 

[TommyFunn]

I appreciate the post and I look forward to learning from your story.

My biggest warning is that the jealousy might hit like a freight train. I'm by no means the sissy type and I love my wife with all of my heart. Even though I find it super exciting and sexy to see her enjoying other men, my heart sunk when she did it. The sensation of it kept the negative feelings away until the post nut clarity kicked in. That's the monster in your head you habe to wrestle with. I know everyone is different but I disagree with wives doing whatever they want without regard for hubby. Some guys might enjoy it but I would like to be loved enough to be asked how I'm feeling about this or that before she just goes and stays the night somewhere. I guess I'm trying to say that I believe clear communication, boundaries and expectations should be laid on the table and agreed upon before any attempts at making this a reality are made.

 

[cheadle]

My biggest warning is that the jealousy might hit like a freight train. I'm by no means the sissy type and I love my wife with all of my heart. Even though I find it super exciting and sexy to see her enjoying other men, my heart sunk when she did it. The sensation of it kept the negative feelings away until the post nut clarity kicked in. That's the monster in your head you habe to wrestle with. I know everyone is different but I disagree with wives doing whatever they want without regard for hubby. Some guys might enjoy it but I would like to be loved enough to be asked how I'm feeling about this or that before she just goes and stays the night somewhere. I guess I'm trying to say that I believe clear communication, boundaries and expectations should be laid on the table and agreed upon before any attempts at making this a reality are made.

Perfect answer

 

[Lovefeet]

My biggest warning is that the jealousy might hit like a freight train. I'm by no means the sissy type and I love my wife with all of my heart. Even though I find it super exciting and sexy to see her enjoying other men, my heart sunk when she did it. The sensation of it kept the negative feelings away until the post nut clarity kicked in. That's the monster in your head you habe to wrestle with. I know everyone is different but I disagree with wives doing whatever they want without regard for hubby. Some guys might enjoy it but I would like to be loved enough to be asked how I'm feeling about this or that before she just goes and stays the night somewhere. I guess I'm trying to say that I believe clear communication, boundaries and expectations should be laid on the table and agreed upon before any attempts at making this a reality are made.

A rare true statement about the emotions that follow the moment of watching your wife being ravaged by another man. Took a lot of communication and awareness to get over. And in time a much more enjoyable experience each time afterwards.

 

[Superstar7]

My biggest warning is that the jealousy might hit like a freight train. I'm by no means the sissy type and I love my wife with all of my heart. Even though I find it super exciting and sexy to see her enjoying other men, my heart sunk when she did it. The sensation of it kept the negative feelings away until the post nut clarity kicked in. That's the monster in your head you habe to wrestle with. I know everyone is different but I disagree with wives doing whatever they want without regard for hubby. Some guys might enjoy it but I would like to be loved enough to be asked how I'm feeling about this or that before she just goes and stays the night somewhere. I guess I'm trying to say that I believe clear communication, boundaries and expectations should be laid on the table and agreed upon before any attempts at making this a reality are made.

I completely agree! I believe one thing that is not discussed enough is how the harmony should be developed for all parties involved. This is not about creating a get it done scenario but more of an environment and feeling the couples (husband wife as well as wife and bull) can appreciate and remember. The best I see how to accomplish this is genuine input from the husband and wife then baby steps.

 

[coastalkid]

My biggest warning is that the jealousy might hit like a freight train. I'm by no means the sissy type and I love my wife with all of my heart. Even though I find it super exciting and sexy to see her enjoying other men, my heart sunk when she did it. The sensation of it kept the negative feelings away until the post nut clarity kicked in. That's the monster in your head you habe to wrestle with. I know everyone is different but I disagree with wives doing whatever they want without regard for hubby. Some guys might enjoy it but I would like to be loved enough to be asked how I'm feeling about this or that before she just goes and stays the night somewhere. I guess I'm trying to say that I believe clear communication, boundaries and expectations should be laid on the table and agreed upon before any attempts at making this a reality are made.

Well said!

I just can't get my head around the idea that a wife can really have the best time of her life if her husband isn't also. It feels impossible to me that a wife that truly loves her husband could be so out of touch with their husband to be unaware of the possible outcomes.

Worse still is if the husband can't overcome those feelings. That's just made worse by the whole, "It was his idea" thing. Asking her to stop will be harder than asking her to start. This kind of mistake often results in the "lifetime" penalty of the wife liking it now and she won't stop. Then all the insecurities and depression from "having made your bed" are firmly ingrained in your mind.

I'm convinced that it takes an exceptionally smart, sensitive woman to pull this off. She's kind of the quarterback in the grand scheme of things. She has more impact and implications in her actions and words. Her mistakes carry a lot more gravity.

 

[ironman84]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

First having a swinger club experience ...

 

[Superstar7]

Well said!

I just can't get my head around the idea that a wife can really have the best time of her life if her husband isn't also. It feels impossible to me that a wife that truly loves her husband could be so out of touch with their husband to be unaware of the possible outcomes.

Worse still is if the husband can't overcome those feelings. That's just made worse by the whole, "It was his idea" thing. Asking her to stop will be harder than asking her to start. This kind of mistake often results in the "lifetime" penalty of the wife liking it now and she won't stop. Then all the insecurities and depression from "having made your bed" are firmly ingrained in your mind.

I'm convinced that it takes an exceptionally smart, sensitive woman to pull this off. She's kind of the quarterback in the grand scheme of things. She has more impact and implications in her actions and words. Her mistakes carry a lot more gravity.

Great insight you articulated. For those who have started wife sharing how much emphasis went into understanding if your wife could truly do this without compromising something? I guess in the scheme of things you both are compromising something. I am someone who wants the experience but my wife is not willing. As much as I would like her to change her mind someday I do hear her enough to understand how she tells me her feelings would get swayed but I am also someone who knows that you go where your mind and heart leads it. It is a balancing act knowing what I know about my wife emotionally and also myself. The best answer I have come up with so far is to encourage to feel the emotions when they come if it were to happen. Not encouraging her to leave me but encouraging her to build real chemistry that would help her perform the way I know she can.

 

[birdman83]

Anyone else wonder if they’d actually be okay with it if their hotwife fantasies became reality? I’ve long fantasized about sharing my wife with other men. I even enjoy sharing her pics and talking dirty about her with guys online. The problem is that it doesn’t extend to real life. If we’re in public and I see a guy checking her out or trying to flirt with her, I immediately feel jealousy creep in. Same thing if I see her checking out other men (which she does often).

I want to talk to her about the idea of sharing her, but what if she agrees and I find out I’m not ready for it? Should I just drop the idea?

You’re not ready yet. If you moved forward at this point, you’d regret it