Anyone else have this

That has to be THE most dreaded issue, her having feelings for her lover, enough so to cause uncertainty. I imagine you head floods with thoughts and all sorts of wrong conclusions and wild scenarios. This where I've observed here that it takes a very smart and sensitive wife to not lose her sense of reason. A smart wife considers the implications and understands the freedom she has. Ultimately she's the one that decides if she wants to get fucked or not and if she wants to risk getting pregnant. Not all women are up to managing that well.
I thought I was a pretty smooth player (a legend in my own mind....) but I wasn't prepared to have a discussion with her when she was emotional about her BF, and in a way I was over my head, but somehow we managed to convince one another that it was going to be ok, - that she could in fact love two men. There was a few emotional days and then we starting coming to terms with it all and things returned to what they had been. She realized she couldn't give him up, and I didn't want it to end either, especially since our marital sex lives were benefiting.