Absolutely and almost certainly they are and have been for others, I think that's a good thing and I'm mostly proud of myself and my behaviour... but the darker side me has always been there, with a deep fascination and mind full of fantasies that directly conflict with the public persona I portray... fantasies that nearly always revolve around me being humiliated, embarrassed and exposed in front of other, or at there more extreme being exploited, used and abused by strong, sadistic men for their amusement