Good statement, i agree.You said you are 10% ok with it. That isn't much. When I encouraged my wife to bareback with other guys and she wasn't on birth control I was 100% sure I wanted other men her to get pregnant and we had talked and agreed that we were both ok with it.
Your wife saying she "doesn't think he will ask" is definitely not proof that she won't let him. In fact, that is essentially avoiding giving a direct answer. The only reason she would do that is if she is ok with him going bare and she doesn't know how to say it without possibly upsetting you and ruining the entire thing.