Next steps for wife

danum said:
i succeeded in convincing my wife so i thought i would try and help you out, fulfilling your dreams of cuckolding. now, if your wife is leading the charge and dropping hints about sharing herself, then this is not for you. this is when you are the cuckold wannabe.



first, the impt question is whether she is able to fantasise. this is never an easy question to answer as it involves many factors. most impt of which is whether she IS ABLE to at the very least, fantasise with you about being a hotwife. THIS IS KEY.



if she has not, then it is a harder hill to climb.



1. there are some things that you must first learn - patience and persistence. these are your tools to help you achieve this.



2. never push her. you must be very very patient in getting your fantasy to be a reality. always let her think she is in control of it. this means that if she does not want to talk or fantasise anymore, stop. respect her wishes. start again another time. but be persistent. she will give in eventually.



this is a slow and steady process and your Mrs MUST always have the feeling that she is in control. ALWAYS! This reassures her that should she want to stop, IT WILL BE STOPPED. only then will she trust you.



3. AGAIN REMEMBER that the focus here is your wife. not you and what you desire her to do for you (please understand this as they will learn the truth).



this was one of the methods i used on my wife......











my mrs loves to suck cock. she really loves it as she can go for an hour or more just sucking on one. and you will only enjoy having your cock sucked IF the person sucking enjoys what she is doing. i should know this as im her hubby. she loves to swallow too. and not the porn you watch type where they spit it out! she love to taste it and swallow (i suppose this was the thing that turned me bi too as i loved watching her do it so much that i too got hooked).



so during my convincing her to join a swing party, i bought a vibrator and when she was sucking my cock, i used the vibrator on her. now when she sucks she is in heaven and then applying the vibe on her pussy was the ultimate for her. i used that moment to fantasise that it was a mutual friends. an american guy that we knew (she is partial to orang putih). this method me a great deal in convincing her that another cock or cocks would be great in our sex life. so i did this time and time again. this was the persistent part. as long as she likes sex, half the battle is won.



about 4th month - the reluctance soon gave way. and she began to allow me to talk to her about a third person.



about 8th month - then i began to ask her things. and she answered!!



with this i knew i was doing the right things.



10th month - while having sex SHE asked for the vibrator.



after a year of some hard work she finally agreed to join in a swing party. and the rest is history. this was the patience part.



she enjoyed herself at the party. and it was enjoyable to watch her too.



so keep plugging at it. always remember that the focus is on her. not you.



we began with swinging, then moved gradually (as my cuckold side began to emerge) to threesomes and finally cuckolding. this is something i really enjoy. i especially watching the action up close (like in fucklicking) as it is so intoxicating.



as i noted, patience, persistence, and non-pushy.





secondly, compliment her dressing, her beauty, her sexiness. and do it truthfully. women can tell if you are bull-shitting or theres something behind the compliments.



send her flowers, chocolates at her workplace. let her feel proud in front of her friends, family.



this is an entire package of things you need to do. men are different. we only want 1 thing. with women it takes many things. and your heart.



i honestly did all these things to convince, cajole and encourage my wife. it took me more than a year before she agreed to join me in a swing party. happiest moment of my life.

dan
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I loved your story, i see it takes time, plz tell more about U2 and Desires for future ..
 
NEWBIEHotwife said:
1000% right on... at least for me and my hubby.
For me, i needed the independent book challenges and instructions- not coming from my hubby but from a woman therapist..... it became a kinky game. And now I'm a hotwife with a cuckold hubby.... who has a little male chastity in his future. Lol
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"not coming from husband" could be the key for my conservative wife as well . even it would only be a hint about but from whom ? and how to make it happen？
 
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getwifetopplay said:
If she is role playing and talking about it in a not so serious manner like my wife you know deep down they enjoy the thought of having other guys. It's not a small step going from fantasy to actually doing it. If they were against it you wouldn't be talking about at all.

Not sure about everyone else but getting up the nerve to talk to her in a serious manner is hard. From. reading and the reponses on here I come to understanding that there is a process I need to go though and so does my wife.

I have come up with a list that I think a lot people go though on the path. Maybe someone with experience can add or improve it.

1). Learning that hotwife exists - Most people are shocked this really happens
2) Curiosity and Fantasy - Start watching porn maybe even daydream
3) open about hotwife lifestyle - The initial conversations happen usually but never go anywhere
4) Turned on Stage - When you think about your turned on and you openly joke about and role-play or act out during sex.
5). Acceptance - You wife and you agree and she starts fucking other guys.

I don't think you can have a set time for moving though stages and for some it may be quick while others will take years. Personally I think I am stage 4 with wife. From what I can tell step 5 is not that far away and just need to let it happen naturally.

The other thing is I come to the conclusion the wife has to be accepting that you will fuck other women as well. You may not act on this but a wife willing to let her guy fuck is also going to be able to fuck other guys freely and without guilt.
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1.is the most difficult - learn that those women /couples are normal people in daily life instead of creepy underdogs .
because thats told by society .
with my 1.wife it works after we met a "normal ,pretty and nice couple" who were swingers . afterwards her fears are much less and she was curious about.
 
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petco said:
"not coming from husband" could be the key for my conservative wife as well . even it would only be a hint about but from whom ? and how to make it happen？
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Petco, this is really easier than you're making it... IF you approach this as a game (the way my hubby did.)
He found this hw guide suggested in the forums here and bought it for us to read together... for fun.
It was part - Explaining why this kink is so prevalent with husbands and that it's a normal thing... which put my mind at rest, and then the rest of the book is kind of a guide or game of challenges that you do together. No pressure, but a lot of role-playing that got me used to the idea of becoming a hotwife. We love the fantasy role-playing and it's become like a lifestyle for us... our little secret.
The book is called The Faithful Hotwife, and he found it on Amazon.
If you're really adventurous or like me just want to push my hubby's limits a bit more she has another book called UNLOCKING DESIRE which leads to a bit of male chastity play.... loving it.
Good luck
 
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NEWBIEHotwife said:
Petco, this is really easier than you're making it... IF you approach this as a game (the way my hubby did.)
He found this hw guide suggested in the forums here and bought it for us to read together... for fun.
It was part - Explaining why this kink is so prevalent with husbands and that it's a normal thing... which put my mind at rest, and then the rest of the book is kind of a guide or game of challenges that you do together. No pressure, but a lot of role-playing that got me used to the idea of becoming a hotwife. We love the fantasy role-playing and it's become like a lifestyle for us... our little secret.
The book is called The Faithful Hotwife, and he found it on Amazon.
If you're really adventurous or like me just want to push my hubby's limits a bit more she has another book called UNLOCKING DESIRE which leads to a bit of male chastity play.... loving it.
Good luck
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thanks a lot for your honest answer . i ll try to get it . ( have to ask in bookstore for ). in worst case i ve to wait until next trip to europe .
as she like reading this could be a way without offending .
best regards
peter
 
getwifetopplay said:
We been Married 20 years I was ny wife first and only lover. Very Vanillia wife. Over the years I been wanting her to open up. I don;t know why but I want her to try other men. I just want her to let loose and go wild.

Over the years I defiantly go her more into things. She openly jokes about ...... with other guys. if I push her a bit she covers it up as just a joke. We never get into a serious conversation to actually talk about it.

About 2 years ago I started buying vibrators for her. She was much more accepting but she was shy. I started to buy bigger ones but she was not comfortable using them However last week she ask me to use them for the first time and just let loose with it.

I think watching porn would be a good next step but she is super shy when ever I watch it. I haven't pushed watching but wonder if this would be a good next step.

My goal is watch her fuck other guys and have a MFM with her and really not sure how to bring this up since she still pretty shy.
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Hi.. If you want send me a DM here..
My media: wifewantstoplay.com/threads/my-wife-loves-the-attention…-we-want-to-share-more.54725/#post-995820
 
getwifetopplay said:
She openly jokes about ...... with other guys. if I push her a bit she covers it up as just a joke. We never get into a serious conversation to actually talk about it.
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Let her joke.

Don’t push her.

Be serious … but without conversation.

Take a moment or two before you answer. When you DO, let your reply suggest that you are pondering it.

She makes her ‘joke.’

You ………..

‘I’m not there yet’ [if she teases, so much the better]; if she claims the ‘joke,’ ignore it.

‘You’re ahead of me, Hon.’

‘Why’s that?’

‘We’d need guidelines and boundaries. Trust and respect all round is non-negotiable. Our expectations must be clear, and we must be comfortable. We need a strategy for feelings of jealousy or competition that may arise. Safety, health and testing, cleanliness, emotional connection and more.’

‘Couples that make it go also do the work.’

Even though I use ‘quotes,’ I’m not giving exact wording. Make it conversational, so it doesn’t come off like a rehearsed speech.

Just finding the right guy is a huge deal. Do you go local, or find someone an hour away that you don’t see every day? After all, if [despite all efforts] this doesn’t work out…

All this communicates that you are not opposed on principle to her playing. But you are very committed [indeed, you insist on!] safety and protecting your relationship.

If she has a favorite actor or character, let us know. Members may be able to find some good ’fan-fiction’ from a woman’s perspective.

If she offers a good counterpoint, tell her ‘that is a good point … I’ll think about that and get back to you.’ Run it by us here and see what you get.

All the best, and good luck!
 
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NEWBIEHotwife said:
Petco, this is really easier than you're making it... IF you approach this as a game (the way my hubby did.)
He found this hw guide suggested in the forums here and bought it for us to read together... for fun.
It was part - Explaining why this kink is so prevalent with husbands and that it's a normal thing... which put my mind at rest, and then the rest of the book is kind of a guide or game of challenges that you do together. No pressure, but a lot of role-playing that got me used to the idea of becoming a hotwife. We love the fantasy role-playing and it's become like a lifestyle for us... our little secret.
The book is called The Faithful Hotwife, and he found it on Amazon.
If you're really adventurous or like me just want to push my hubby's limits a bit more she has another book called UNLOCKING DESIRE which leads to a bit of male chastity play.... loving it.
Good luck
Click to expand...
I love the way you think, TY for all the great post..
 
Have been wife my wife for over 25 years. Very conservative relationship and she still believes only being with me. Going on over a year now with using dildos and role playing. She has just recently started seeing a chiropractor and mentions how good other hands feel on her. Have started using this as motivation and explaining how another dick would make her feel. If she enjoys another man’s hands on her what it must feel like with another guys cock. Hopefully soon she will open up more freely. She has moved on to bigger dildos recently.
 
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getwifetopplay said:
Ok she loves fucking with the dildos and she now talking openly about other guys to me. She told me she like how I react to it.

However when i bring up the fact she may want to go for it she just says that is weird and shuts down.

Seems to me she wants to do it but still afraid to talk about it.
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That is how my wife is. We could be having a genuine conversation about it and everything seems good but once I encourage it becoming reality it goes left.
 
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