If your wife refuses to become a hotwife, how do you fulfill your fantasy?

[Hwcouple702]

That’s where I am right now - there’s only so much shit you can take

I think the trouble here is that you have SERIOUS issues in your marriage and life.. That stuff equals ZERO sexual interest IMHO.. Is it any wonder, given the statement you made above, that she has no interest in sex with you? (that's not a put down of you, it's just that you've reached an extreme point in your relationship) And "sex with you" = "sex"........ in her mind anyway.. Letting troubles fester for years must make things very tough as far as a relationship is concerned.. Maybe some counseling would help, buy you both may be past the point of even wanting counseling..

 

[Snoopsissy]

I think the trouble here is that you have SERIOUS issues in your marriage and life.. That stuff equals ZERO sexual interest IMHO.. Is it any wonder, given the statement you made above, that she has no interest in sex with you? (that's not a put down of you, it's just that you've reached an extreme point in your relationship) And "sex with you" = "sex"........ in her mind anyway.. Letting troubles fester for years must make things very tough as far as a relationship is concerned.. Maybe some counseling would help, buy you both may be past the point of even wanting counseling..

Yes I definitely agree we have - I’ve tried to be understanding , supportive but it’s always me who ends up saying sorry or trying to make amends - all goes ok for a few weeks then I’m pulled up for something else - I’ve suggested a counsellor but she refuses , is constantly dismissive and almost always has a negative reply to almost anything I say - I’ve been pulled up for being ‘quiet ‘ .. My stepdaughter reports back if I speak to her (she’s 27 ) or if I’m quiet - I think the main reason she is combative is she has never been told why her ex husband walked out on her after 25 years together .. I’ve always to start conversation with the stepdaughter who is spoiled and entitled - one thing leads to another and another from me having a 3 some with a married couple and I was single to me being fucking quiet ! .. Just running out of options I guess

 

[Snoopsissy]

Us brits aren’t really into the counselling culture like America hw couple 702 .. My past is used against me and I suppose that was my fault for wanting to be honest from the get go with no skeletons in my closet - she is reticent to talk about hers which to me is a red flag .. She always finds something to challenge me on or about - a guy can really only take so much put downs and I get animosity rather than support .. Finances are a major issue - she had a high value lifestyle with ex husband - I’m just an ordinary guy .. Always my fault that we are not romantic or thoughtful - for example - Mother’s Day - her two sons were doing something - her daughter who still lives with us was doing something with her boyfriend ( her first in 7 years - another contenscious issue ) but she did get her a gift but wasn’t around on the day .. That then became my fault that I didn’t think to take her out for a Mother’s Day lunch or dinner or something ! ..

 

[Hwcouple702]

Us brits aren’t really into the counselling culture like America hw couple 702 .. My past is used against me and I suppose that was my fault for wanting to be honest from the get go with no skeletons in my closet - she is reticent to talk about hers which to me is a red flag .. She always finds something to challenge me on or about - a guy can really only take so much put downs and I get animosity rather than support .. Finances are a major issue - she had a high value lifestyle with ex husband - I’m just an ordinary guy .. Always my fault that we are not romantic or thoughtful - for example - Mother’s Day - her two sons were doing something - her daughter who still lives with us was doing something with her boyfriend ( her first in 7 years - another contenscious issue ) but she did get her a gift but wasn’t around on the day .. That then became my fault that I didn’t think to take her out for a Mother’s Day lunch or dinner or something ! ..

That's really an unfortunate situation.. No advice on that one.. Hope it works out for you..

 

[Snoopsissy]

That's really an unfortunate situation.. No advice on that one.. Hope it works out for you..

Thank you very much

 

[bulldogg78]

My instincts tells me my wife wants to be shared, but scared/embarrassed to be the one to admit and going through with it..

What has she told you or how you know she wants to be shared?

 

[sub2femdom]

Mines is a bit different - always trying to be combative - in her past was a slut - now she’s a fucking nun - in 6 years has never suggested we try anything kinky or anything really to do with sex , quote - she’s never watched porn or masturbated or tried different things - but she’s let slip a guy she was seeing was more into fucking her arse than pussy .. Never initiated sex or planned a sexy night - quote - why should I do that ? - it should just happen ! .. She berates me for having a 3 some with a married couple and I was single - but it’s ok for her to fuck her sisters fiancé or 2 other men who were also engaged to be married - the double standards is amazing right guys and gals

Sounds like she's gaslighting the hell out of you

 

[sub2femdom]

Thank you for clarifying.. So she knows you stray?

Yes and no.. I've told her some things, but nearly everything I told her seemed to bother her, so I started lying about details, minimizing my involvement, for instance I went to a swinger party, told my wife I just watched, but in reality I played a bit too and got to have a few firsts.. She wouldn't understand, which is baffling considering we talked about swinging and bisexuality and playing with others before marriage.. We even went to a swinger club together once just to check it out.. It was a bit much at the time but we both expressed interest to explore new partners together.. After marriage, poof, she turned into a frigid nun.. Talk about a honeytrap..

 

[Snoopsissy]

Sounds like she's gaslighting the hell out of you

Yes exactly - it’s only a matter of time I think before I end it for good - she won’t compromise on anything and that will be her undoing

 

[thebeginner]

My instincts tells me my wife wants to be shared, but scared/embarrassed to be the one to admit and going through with it..

For the vast majority of wives/SO's that's true - they've been conditioned their entire lives to believe sex outside of their relationship, even with loving consent, is wrong and improper.. Mine was no different.. It took five years of conversation and role-playing before she was comfortable enough to take the plunge.. She loved the experience.. I've posted on a couple threads on what worked for me.. All I can say is, don't give up hope.. What's the saying? Slow and steady wins the race 😉

 

[2wheel]

WOW! So much going on in this thread..

Some relationships just aren't meant to be, expressed by spousal displeasure at every turn in regards to everything..

Old joke, "How do you get a Jewish girl to stop screwing? --- marry her" I think that joke holds true for many women..

Took years of badgering my late wife to get her to 'take the plunge', She did it to shut me up, to end the badgering, to put it behind us.. The outcome wasn't what either of use envisioned or expected..

I think using a larger artificial dick, (dildo) will get your wife to want another man isn't a viable path, she may want a larger insertion but another man is a whole 'nother level..

Just my 2 cents!!

 

[slutplay]

Yep, that's the lesson I took from it.. If she knew the depraved shit I've done she would probably die of confusion.. Her big issue seems to be that she doesn't understand the concept of why a man would want to be submissive sexually and the cuckold thing really seemed to short-circuit her senses.. This is really strange because before we got married, she was all about kink and swinging and stuff and while we never actually did anything with other couples, we did try a couple of times (got shot down), so I assumed it would happen someday.. After marriage, she just went the frigid route.. It's occurred to me that she was just a lie, a marriage trap.. She needed security and I was her best option, so she dangled the hook.. Just my opinion, but because of it, I have zero ZERO zero guilt about cheating because in my mind, I was cheated out of the life I wanted..

And there it is, I just had to go into that rabbit hole.. When I start thinking about that aspect of things, I start to seethe with resentment towards her..

You are right to feel like this.. She is preventing your happiness.. What do these women expect? I've found that if they are not happy with something, they do something about it.. They would cheat and say it's your fault that they had to.. You're entitled to happiness - and the kind of happiness you choose.. It's disgusting how some women trap men by giving the wrong impression then change.. Find your happiness where you can - life is short..

 

[sub2femdom]

You are right to feel like this.. She is preventing your happiness.. What do these women expect? I've found that if they are not happy with something, they do something about it.. They would cheat and say it's your fault that they had to.. You're entitled to happiness - and the kind of happiness you choose.. It's disgusting how some women trap men by giving the wrong impression then change.. Find your happiness where you can - life is short..

Thanks for the supportive words.. That's pretty much where I ended up mentally.. Livin life as best I can!

 

[Snoopsissy]

You are right to feel like this.. She is preventing your happiness.. What do these women expect? I've found that if they are not happy with something, they do something about it.. They would cheat and say it's your fault that they had to.. You're entitled to happiness - and the kind of happiness you choose.. It's disgusting how some women trap men by giving the wrong impression then change.. Find your happiness where you can - life is short..

Yes totally agree there - mines hasn’t trapped me but she has a totally blinkered outlook on sex / relationships but has cheated in the past several times but seemingly that’s ok - I call it - the world according to her - the spoiled entitled stepdaughter will hopefully be out shortly with her simp boyfriend to a house of there own so she will be left with me - that will be the acid test - how can you go from fucking your sisters fiancé to stating sex should only be between husband I’m wife ??? .. Maybe she’s bi polar - who the fuck knows eh lol

 

[Snoopsissy]

Also what I don’t get is if you have a partner who likes sex / is open to things and if you like a sexual kind of partner , why would you then choose to be with that person knowing they are like that but then do a switcheroo and become mother fucking Theresa ??.. My wife never fantasies about anything / anyone - has never masturbated and any sexual ideas always has to be done by me , these can be grudgingly tried maybe once or twice like the fucking machine others are shot down out of hand - I just don’t get any of it / her

 

[jackyb]

For the vast majority of wives/SO's that's true - they've been conditioned their entire lives to believe sex outside of their relationship, even with loving consent, is wrong and improper.. Mine was no different.. It took five years of conversation and role-playing before she was comfortable enough to take the plunge.. She loved the experience.. I've posted on a couple threads on what worked for me.. All I can say is, don't give up hope.. What's the saying? Slow and steady wins the race 😉

that is really encouraging.. slowly slowly catchy catchy.. we just need to be patient and supportive and understanding.. I guess so much of it is about confidence for our wives and gf.. if they are properly prepared for it, the experience for both can be amazing

 

[Snoopsissy]

My wife has a friend who’s done just about everything sexually but hates sex.. He and her husband would have sex maybe 2x a year and he was fine with that oddly?

But they’ve been living apart for about 7-8 years and she has 0 interest in sex.. Very odd.. All I can think of is she eithe associates it with something negative or has never had a great time.. Lol she had no idea what squirting is, she had watched the Motley Crue movie dirt and the woman squirts in the beginning, she said I don’t get why they were all excited by her peeing.. Lol my wife and I tried to explain squirting to her cause my wife is a squirter she just didn’t get it or believe it..

Yes very weird set up that lol .. I suppose whatever works for you .. My wife said with her previous partner ( he was younger )that they had sex day and night in all the rooms and sometimes outside - whereas with me she will only do it in the dark - that’s a real ego boost for me guys - I’ve been told by previous partners that I have a good big cock and also she has this nervous laugh and I caught her smirking one night whilst fucking her - she said she couldn’t feel it but that’s cos her pussy is so slack I think - hence I’m here trying to help her get satisfied in any way I can because that’s what a loving husband does .. She on the other hand is not interested / never initiates sex etc - I know she was a slut but now a nun - she loves her vibrators but again refutely refused to try it - grudgingly as usual she did and had amazing feelings and a massive orgasm with it .. But she never knew anyone that had it and most women don’t have one - ha ha ha - that’s typical of her dismissive attitude

 

[top4cucks]

My lovely wife is very open to trying new sexual things, and our sex life is great.. But she has already told me cuckolding is something she definitely will NOT do, and I respect that.. Nonetheless, seeing her take a bigger penis is still my fantasy, so this is what we do as a substitue..

I decided that the next best thing I could do was to purchase what's known as a penis extender (it make your penis bigger and fatter) and surprise her with it.. The first night I used it, I had it hidden under the bed and the lights were off.. When I was giving her oral I put it on, lube it, and once she was really wet I put it in.. She gasp and asked, " What did you do?".. I replied, "Enjoy the moment.. We'll talk later," and began to pound her with it.. It was OBVIOUS she enjoyed it.. She had never moaned the way she did that night..
Afterwards, to my surprise, she said she still prefers to "feel" me instead of plastic, although she did admit she liked it very much.. I told her I would use it only when she felt like it, and she agreed.. After all, the hotwife should be in control.. The first time she asked for it she told me "invite your friend.." Boy that sounded hot!!! Now that is the nickname we use for it, "The Friend.." Unfortunately, she doesn't ask for it as often as I would like.. But it's still better than nothing, and when we do use it, it's evident she feels the difference, and that alone makes me feel like a real cuckold..

If your wife refuses to become a hotwife, how do you fulfill your fantasy?

Your post says that she rejected cuckolding.. Cuckolding is different from swinging.. Cuckolding may mean to her that she will not have sex with you or at least you would be second choice.. Swinging adds partners .. Try encouraging her to visit a sex club with the agreement that neither of you would engage in sex with others.. Get turned on by watching, then retire to a room by yourselves for a good fuck.. You would be amazed at the sexual energy at a swinging club.. Eventually, she will want to try another man.. Tell her that you don't want another woman.. The rules are changed to where she can select another man or woman, while you will watch then have sex with her.. The cuckolding aspect will exist in your mind, but not be dragged out into the open..

 

[Kneel2Zod]

That sounds familiar - sounds just like your average woman tbh - mines in her past was a slut - even fucking her sisters fiancé etc etc - fast forward 25 years and now she won’t do anything during the daytime - has recent libido Alzheimer’s - has left her fucking sex drive somewhere but can’t remember where ( apologies to real Alzheimer’s sufferers ) , always brings up my sexual past against me but hers is not to be discussed ??.. Most women once the ring is on the fucking dwindles away it seems ..

Right there with ya......mine developed a taste for cheating about two years ago and still does yet won't share.. Just how it goes sometimes..

 

[ENMmense]

What has she told you or how you know she wants to be shared?

Unless I am misreading all her signs.. For instance, we would go to clubs, other men would dance with her if I leave her alone.. I would see her grinding her ass, against their crotch.. I can clearly see she enjoys it.. I have caught her a few times even reaching behind her and grab, which I assume their cock.. She would take pictures with other men and show me afterwards..

She has never admit or tell me directly that she wants to have sex with them, but would make joking comments about it.. She would come home and her panties would be just soaking wet.. At one point, I thought she got fucked and someone cummed inside of her.. I got so excited and took pics of her panties just to admire it..

Or we would have sex and she would fuck a dildo as if another guys fucks her from behind while sucking me off.. She would make comments about how horny she gets or would tell me how she love being fuck by two cocks.. I would play along of course, but afraid to say anything else to offend her too..

There are times, she has ask me to text her using a different number and act as if I was her Sugar Daddy or her boyfriend.. The text we have are sexually arousing that got me hard instantly..

Those are just a few examples, so unless I'm totally misreading her and she's just playing mind games with me..