I let her know my fantasy months ago. Not sure how to proceed. (28M/23F)

[UnseriousRice]

How do I move from hinting at cuckolding to taking first steps with my GF?

We’ve been together almost a year (one full year on Hallowen day!), both love sex, and are open-minded. We watch porn together, she’s pegged me (she loves it), and we even tried chastity while she was on holiday. I’ve mentioned watching her with another guy, and she’s generally been accepting and open to the idea (so long as they are clean, she stressed that), but we've never had a formal discussion. I guess I've been afraid to bring it up beyond spontaenous comments in bed.

One day when I was super horny I asked if I could sign up to a swingers site, just to see what's out there. A lot of hot guys messaged, but I never got round to showing her. Felt embarassed, lol.

I don’t want to be pushy but want to move forward. Any tips on what I can say or suggest? We're going on a night out in a city, maybe London or Manchester on Halloween.

 

[Charmingdevil78]

Have drinks/cocktails with potentials in London to explore, safely, "what's been done and what 5 things could be explored". I can do London when it suits you...

 

[dccuck]

How do I move from hinting at cuckolding to taking first steps with my GF?

We’ve been together almost a year (one full year on Hallowen day!), both love sex, and are open-minded. We watch porn together, she’s pegged me (she loves it), and we even tried chastity while she was on holiday. I’ve mentioned watching her with another guy, and she’s generally been accepting and open to the idea (so long as they are clean, she stressed that), but we've never had a formal discussion. I guess I've been afraid to bring it up beyond spontaenous comments in bed.

One day when I was super horny I asked if I could sign up to a swingers site, just to see what's out there. A lot of hot guys messaged, but I never got round to showing her. Felt embarassed, lol.

I don’t want to be pushy but want to move forward. Any tips on what I can say or suggest? We're going on a night out in a city, maybe London or Manchester on Halloween.

Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. She is young and the risk is she really vibes with the guy, they have amazing sex and then you find yourself single. Not trying be a negative Nancy but you have to know that is a major risk.

We had a strong marriage and had been together for 8 years when we started and we both agreed we wanted this lifestyle. Still it almost broke us because we didn’t take emotions into account. ❤️

 

[UnseriousRice]

Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it. She is young and the risk is she really vibes with the guy, they have amazing sex and then you find yourself single. Not trying be a negative Nancy but you have to know that is a major risk.

We had a strong marriage and had been together for 8 years when we started and we both agreed we wanted this lifestyle. Still it almost broke us because we didn’t take emotions into account. ❤️

I hope you guys are still going strong.

Actually, she asked this one time. "What if I like his dick better than yours, aren't you worried I'll leave you for him?" From what I could tell it was half serious, half joke.

I told her that's part of why it's exciting, and that I feel secure enough with her to tell her all that. She just said "wow you're wild," and it was kinda left at that.

I guess at present I don't feel worried she would leave or catch feelings, more what she would think of me if I kept asking her thoughts on it.

Like...I /really/ get excited by the thought and would love to see her have fun and explore something new with excitement, but I'm also worried that'll break her image of me being her 'man'. I guess that has caused a lot of anxiety over communicating it.

 

[UnseriousRice]

Have drinks/cocktails with potentials in London to explore, safely, "what's been done and what 5 things could be explored". I can do London when it suits you...

I like the idea. I also thought of going to the club with her with an agreement that we are 'just friends' and guys are free to hit on her. She loves clubbing.

 

[Beachbull]

Welcome to the forum,

There are absolutely only two ways to go about this:

1. Tell her you found a guy with a big eggplant that wants to get her pregnant
2. Tell her you found a guy with a big eggplant that wants to get her pregnant with twins

I joke, but if you're serious, you could set up a night out where you both meet up with a "friend" of yours at a bar/lounge, have some drinks, see how you all vibe together, and take it from there. An alternative is the club idea and you introduce a guy you meet to her there.

 

[UnseriousRice]

Welcome to the forum,

There are absolutely only two ways to go about this:

1. Tell her you found a guy with a big eggplant that wants to get her pregnant
2. Tell her you found a guy with a big eggplant that wants to get her pregnant with twins

I joke, but if you're serious, you could set up a night out where you both meet up with a "friend" of yours at a bar/lounge, have some drinks, see how you all vibe together, and take it from there. An alternative is the club idea and you introduce a guy you meet to her there.

Well, she does like big eggplants. Honestly, you might be on to something there 😂. There was a time I suspected she had a kink or curiosity about pregnancy too, so...👀

Yeah it's exciting. I think with us going out later this month, it would be the most natural approach. Problem is, we don't really know anyone besides each other.

 

[Beachbull]

Well, she does like big eggplants. Honestly, you might be on to something there 😂. There was a time I suspected she had a kink or curiosity about pregnancy too, so...👀

Yeah it's exciting. I think with us going out later this month, it would be the most natural approach. Problem is, we don't really know anyone besides each other.

She sounds like she's ready for a big eggplant experience.

I'm in London occasionally as it's nearby for me and could help with the problem of not knowing anyone.

Not sure about Halloween night, but we could def coordinate something in the dm.

 

[jaandaj]

Well, she does like big eggplants. Honestly, you might be on to something there 😂. There was a time I suspected she had a kink or curiosity about pregnancy too, so...👀

Yeah it's exciting. I think with us going out later this month, it would be the most natural approach. Problem is, we don't really know anyone besides each other.

You have already broke the ice with mentioning it to her.
Now you need to set her down and explain that if this is going to happen u two need rules!

Only you two can decide what rules are best for you. But with 30years experience take my advice with openly talk about feelings. Don't hide them after you start. You both have to be truthful with each other and work out differences.

 

[UnseriousRice]

You have already broke the ice with mentioning it to her.
Now you need to set her down and explain that if this is going to happen u two need rules!

Only you two can decide what rules are best for you. But with 30years experience take my advice with openly talk about feelings. Don't hide them after you start. You both have to be truthful with each other and work out differences.

For sure, thank you.

She sounds like she's ready for a big eggplant experience.

I'm in London occasionally as it's nearby for me and could help with the problem of not knowing anyone.

Not sure about Halloween night, but we could def coordinate something in the dm.

I sure hope she is...

We're probably going to be in London centre for Halloween and early November. I guess it all depends how the talks go in the next few days.

 

[CuckmeCleveland]

How do I move from hinting at cuckolding to taking first steps with my GF?

We’ve been together almost a year (one full year on Hallowen day!), both love sex, and are open-minded. We watch porn together, she’s pegged me (she loves it), and we even tried chastity while she was on holiday. I’ve mentioned watching her with another guy, and she’s generally been accepting and open to the idea (so long as they are clean, she stressed that), but we've never had a formal discussion. I guess I've been afraid to bring it up beyond spontaenous comments in bed.

One day when I was super horny I asked if I could sign up to a swingers site, just to see what's out there. A lot of hot guys messaged, but I never got round to showing her. Felt embarassed, lol.

I don’t want to be pushy but want to move forward. Any tips on what I can say or suggest? We're going on a night out in a city, maybe London or Manchester on Halloween.

Timing and setting matter. You want relaxed, private, and distractions. Start with general talk about relationships and desires. Then segue into your own relation dynamics.

Share your feelings honestly. Tell her how much you value your openness, and you’d love to talk about something that’s been on your mind. Introduce this gradually. Say you’d like to share ideas about exploring sexual experiences such as fantasies or things you watch in the flicks.

Ask her to share her feelings and thoughts. Try to gauge her openness and comfort level. “How do you feel about the idea of exploring with other partners” [perhaps after that was a video theme].

If she shows interest, be ready to discuss boundaries, safety, and health concerns. Stress that there’s no rush. You want to take your time discussing and exploring this idea. Let her process it without feeling pressured. Time, mutual respect and reassurance are critical here.

Be ready for any reaction — excitement, hesitation, skepticism — whatever it is, listen actively. Validate her feelings whatever she says. After all, this is about enhancing your relationship.

Check in later on her feelings as you continue to discuss the topic. Show that you care about her comfort and perspective.

Look for resources together. Read articles and watch related content together. Listen to some podcasts together. Keep sharing and discussing. Eventually, issues behind any reluctance or hesitation will come up.

 

[UnseriousRice]

Timing and setting matter. You want relaxed, private, and distractions. Start with general talk about relationships and desires. Then segue into your own relation dynamics.

Share your feelings honestly. Tell her how much you value your openness, and you’d love to talk about something that’s been on your mind. Introduce this gradually. Say you’d like to share ideas about exploring sexual experiences such as fantasies or things you watch in the flicks.

Ask her to share her feelings and thoughts. Try to gauge her openness and comfort level. “How do you feel about the idea of exploring with other partners” [perhaps after that was a video theme].

If she shows interest, be ready to discuss boundaries, safety, and health concerns. Stress that there’s no rush. You want to take your time discussing and exploring this idea. Let her process it without feeling pressured. Time, mutual respect and reassurance are critical here.

Be ready for any reaction — excitement, hesitation, skepticism — whatever it is, listen actively. Validate her feelings whatever she says. After all, this is about enhancing your relationship.

Check in later on her feelings as you continue to discuss the topic. Show that you care about her comfort and perspective.

Look for resources together. Read articles and watch related content together. Listen to some podcasts together. Keep sharing and discussing. Eventually, issues behind any reluctance or hesitation will come up.

Hey, thank you for writing all this, I really appreciate it.

I like the thought of us going through the resources together, discussing our likes. I really am dying to know her honest thoughts on it all.

Deep down, I know she's probably up for it. I'll have to give an update on how it goes.

 

[Lgpd01]

I genuinely think - based on how you describe the relationship so far - that she’s open minded enough to either say yes or at least not be weirded out by this talk. In your shoes, I’d proceed with some confidence.

 

[CuckmeCleveland]

Hey, thank you for writing all this, I really appreciate it.

I like the thought of us going through the resources together, discussing our likes. I really am dying to know her honest thoughts on it all.

Deep down, I know she's probably up for it. I'll have to give an update on how it goes.

Keep us posted. Ongoing feedback to your evolving situation/relationship helps move things forward.

 

[UnseriousRice]

I genuinely think - based on how you describe the relationship so far - that she’s open minded enough to either say yes or at least not be weirded out by this talk. In your shoes, I’d proceed with some confidence.

Agreed. Thanks for the vote of confidence

 

[toolman2c]

Hey, thank you for writing all this, I really appreciate it.

I like the thought of us going through the resources together, discussing our likes. I really am dying to know her honest thoughts on it all.

Deep down, I know she's probably up for it. I'll have to give an update on how it goes.

Im looking forward to hearing ur ventures into this eXciting Taboo .

 

[UnseriousRice]

Im looking forward to hearing ur ventures into this eXciting Taboo .

We had some great morning sex and connection earlier. I let her know I want to talk about something to tonight, somethings thats been on my mind for a while. Something that comes from a place of love and romance.

Wish me luck 🤞

 

[werekinky2]

How do I move from hinting at cuckolding to taking first steps with my GF?

We’ve been together almost a year (one full year on Hallowen day!), both love sex, and are open-minded. We watch porn together, she’s pegged me (she loves it), and we even tried chastity while she was on holiday. I’ve mentioned watching her with another guy, and she’s generally been accepting and open to the idea (so long as they are clean, she stressed that), but we've never had a formal discussion. I guess I've been afraid to bring it up beyond spontaenous comments in bed.

One day when I was super horny I asked if I could sign up to a swingers site, just to see what's out there. A lot of hot guys messaged, but I never got round to showing her. Felt embarassed, lol.

I don’t want to be pushy but want to move forward. Any tips on what I can say or suggest? We're going on a night out in a city, maybe London or Manchester on Halloween.

If you guys have a good relationship I just say be honest and tell her what you want.if you don’t ask you won’t know. My wife had said absolutely not in the beginning. But she did change her mind.

 

[Garrett]

Just tell her you were following up. Let her tell you her feelings if she has them. I'm excited for you! I think it's anxiety if anything.

 

[UnseriousRice]

Just tell her you were following up. Let her tell you her feelings if she has them. I'm excited for you! I think it's anxiety if anything.

I think you're right.