Exactly - and it’s getting progressively worse on her part - I personally think she is still seething with bitterness and spite because her husband left her after 25 years for another woman so she takes it out on the next guy to come along . Maybe he left her because she wasn’t putting out or getting what he wanted from someone else / thsts what usually happens isn’t it ? .
Any advice on how to lead her
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
Yes I agree unfortunately - I’m enemy no1 . She won’t agree for us both to attend counselling to deal with these issues - I’m at fault and I need to find a way to fix my behaviour - I don’t understand it - she has a good life - just taken one of her sons in , all new stuff for his bedroom $ 900 worth , no real thanks , having to work on past my retirement age as her ...... needs money to get his exs name from the deeds for his house in Spain - again the entitlement and ungrateful ness from my wife is astonishing - I’m tempted to tell her she should be sucking my cock every night for what I’m doing for her family not pulling me to pieces every chance she gets ( she has been through menopause years ago so it’s not that .
Snoopster:
I hope this doesn’t come off poorly; but my sense is that to the degree that you are reading this situation correctly, your wife doesn’t need to be porked by another man, however much you may want that to be, or think it would help her.
What I’m getting from your post is that she needs to heal from her wounds. This means doing the very difficult yet thoroughly necessary shadow work to process and come to terms with her broken psyche and integrate it into her personality and find peace in herself.
You might also consider whether broaching the cuckoldry thing is in fact triggering her on the unconscious level which may be exacerbating life on the conscious level.
Please explore ways of helping her make peace with her past. My guess is that she likely won’t agree to therapy at this point. But you can still educate yourself in these things, and work on a strategy to redress issues. As things stand, I’m hearing that she must have checked out of the relationship quite some time ago.
And that is truly sad.
I wish you both all the best.
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Many thanks for your reply and yes it just may be final as things stand
This is spot on. The way to make this happen is through the guy. Just don't be overly aggressive so as to turn him off. But definitely communicate your awareness of her attraction to him, his reputation-and that she is excited by it and that you are ok with them exploring their mutual attraction.
Yes major problem there is we don’t know each other and so little chance if at all of leading her through him . She has commented on how he looks good for his age and still does etc and about him Not sharing a bed with his wife . I’ve asked her a couple of times about say the car he drives etc and she responded by “ why are you asking about him “ . Does that mean she thinks I know she’s interested in him or what ? . She has previously told me she knows all the dodges not to get caught cheating - has her cheating radar latched onto the fact that I know she’s been talking about him - she’s well aware of my desire to share her so I don’t get it yet again -
A lot of this makes so much sense and is a breath of fresh air. The one thing that seems most important is that you be honest about how much you want it…not for her, but for yourself. Not to be manipulative or coercive but to be candid and transparent about your desires. There’s nothing wrong with being confused about it either. You share that part as well. I think a woman is much more likely to come around to giving herself permission to at least think about it if she believes her partner really really wants it, and understands some of why he does.
slowwewaxation
Male
Great advice. I have had multiple out of bed talks with my wife on the subject. And just like you claim, she asked if I want her to have boyfriends so that I can ...... with other women. I answered honestly that I do not want to ...... with other women, but the thought is definitely still on her mind. It was a great leap of faith for me to tell her that if she is open to the idea, I want to her to have sexual partners other than me. Her only two questions where 'is it because you want to ...... with other women?' and 'why?'. We have these conversations 'out of bed' occasionally and her response is always that she doesn't understand why and that she isn't interested.
I wish I could do better at leading her down that path, but I don't want her to do something just to please me or to do something that she would later regret. On a few occasions she has momentarily agreed to it, but when I start talking about details to make it happen, she says to stop, so I do.
Well I asked my wife recently if there was anyone she would like to fuck her - she said her bosses name - this really shocked and surprised me as many times before I would be shot down or branded a perv for even suggesting that - in my mind they means two things - she is thinking about it possibly due to a conversation or flirting or whatever interaction between them or he has already fucked her and she is now trying to lead me into it / soften the blow even though she is well aware I would like to share her , we haven’t as yet had another conversation about this as yet but have mentioned quite a few times thst I am fine with it etc etc - no sexual stuff - more my acceptance and reassurance really - I want more details and to be included in any interaction between them as far as she thinks is ok without spoiling it . This has sort of rocked me as previously she would not even answer if I asked her but now I maybe have her at this point I don’t want to ...... it before it starts - maybe I’ve worn her down but just so unlike her given her reluctance / refusal to cuck me in the past to say a name . ( she has previously fucked one of her other bosses - so again don’t really know
Ok so as usual it’s one step forward and 8 back - had another vibe session last night - waited till she was good and horny - nipples were solid and right out lol - then said again about her boss - FuCKING BACK - to being in bed with a dummy - not a word - not a nod of the head - I said if you want to make it happen I’m ok with it - all I ask is to be included - even texts to start - fucking zero - I felt like saying - well you were the one who said his name - not me - why are women so fucking frustrating / a guy knows what he wants - women blow hot / cold / Luke warm / freezing - don’t want there man to think they a slut / blah blah blah - yet another sexual smoke and mirrors job from the wife . Why don’t they realise they would have a happy / great life if they were just a bit / a tiny fucking bit more sexual . They think a guy doesn’t want a slut for a wife but in reality EVERY guy wants that . I just don’t get it - rant over lol
Woman can change there moods quickly us guys need to.learn tomreaf them.bettet wheter its a wife girlfriend etc ,Sometimes we need to be well aware and work.on there needs first It can be frustrating but sometimes the rewards are worth it
Yes i know but just always seems to be a one way street - must be amazing to have a partner who is active and communicates what she wants in bed to her partner .
Communication. In all ways is a must sexual and other wise if not marriage trouble will.happen even.thi gs that can continue leavimg dishes out Not picking up shoes and socks or not putting the trash out when the kitchen basket is overflowing
Yes I know but my wife’s attitude to sexual stuff is so Victorian and constantly gas lighting me bout it all . She has said in the past - sex should only be between husband and wife but previously she has fucked her own sisters fiancé and her engaged to be married boss at work - see what I mean - or - she doesn’t know what turns her on !! - WTF
I just can’t get past this constant fucking 360 u turns she does about her past which she doesn’t like or want to talk about . But my past has been used against me . More gaslighting on and on it goes .
Thats a shame that she doesnt open up.to you Communication is a must Red and i both insist on.open Communication or it does work.not only sexually but every day lives WE discuss our sexual wants and needs and her play times no specific details as that is between them just general stufff.
Yes that is the best way to be but what to do when you have a partner that basically has no sexual wants or needs that I know off or have been privy to in approx 9 years . I have always been more sexual than my wife - she says watching Porn does nothing for her - any type or scenario etc , has never masturbated and does not know what turns her on - I know she is full of ...... - she also said vibrators do nothing for you , they don’t work and she doesn’t know anyone who has one or has used one !!. So I got her one to grudgingly try it - guess what now she has about 7 of the fuckers / big / small / this is the type of ...... I get - no woman needs to wear make up / wear heels / stockings etc etc - fucks sake
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