there is more to consider. he might have contacted your wife after you talked with him & before the actual meet for sex. as aresult, she might have known what to expect & was interested in something different.No apologies necessary, and I’m sorry that you weren’t able to have things go the way you had probably imagined. The biggest and primary mistake you made was not communicating, first with your wife and what she was comfortable with and what she wasn’t, and then obviously with your friend. You, in all honesty, cannot put the full entire blame on your friend, you are also partly to blame because you failed to tell him what you, and your wife’s expectations were. I personally would have intervened, much like you did, except I would have called a timeout and had a private conversation with her, to ask her if she was really and honestly fine with the way he was acting. It’s very possible whether you like it or not, that she might have actually liked and was turned on by having some other man, take her and yes, treat her that way. Now she might be too embarrassed or afraid to truthfully admit it to you, based on the way you personally reacted. So right now it’s extremely imperative you sit down with her and tell her upfront, that you were just simply caught off guard with what he was saying and doing to her, but after thinking about it, it occurred to you that she might have been completely, or at least mostly, truly fine with it, and that if she was, convince her that you’re perfectly fine with it too. That will hopefully allow her to be completely open and honest talking to you about it! Get her to tell you exactly how she felt about how things went that night. Ask her what she enjoyed the most, and what she disliked the most, if there is any! Then you should also have a talk with your friend about the event as well. Ask him why he treated her the way he did, and get his side of the story! He may have a particular reason for his actions. It may vary between that it’s just the way he does it, to based on his personal experience, and even to the possibility that she had told him that she wanted it rough.. Whatever the case, you failed to communicate properly before that night, and you owe it to him, and especially her, to communicate afterwards too! Then and only then, you can make a correct decision on how to move forward. I would also highly recommend that you and your wife give it another try, the huge difference this time is, regardless who you invite, you’ll know all the mistakes you’ve made, if any, and have learned a big lesson. The chances are much better that you’ll both have a really great experience! I have more to share about two of my own experiences I’ll post shortly.
#2, she might be submissive & is not able to speak up.
i, also, think that if she didn't stop after vomiting, twice, she was ok with how it was progressing.
if there is a next time, i suggest a safe word which stops all activities, immediately.
i think the fact that she is reluctant to talk about might indicate she isn't all that unhappy with it & is embarrassed to let you know that.