Wife wants to play as a slave for a dominant couple

[1sweetcouple]

I have had an open marriage for almost ten years now and we have had a few play sessions together, but had the most fun playing separately and coming home to show the evidence or tell the story. We recently decided we wanted more regular side partners, which is fine with me, but she found a very nice couple looking for a Unicorn to be a companion to the husband while his wife has her own favorite friend that they all go out with and play. The role my wife would play is as slave to this man who will buy her nice clothes , shoes and jewelry to go out to nice restaurants and fancy hotels to play. The deal is that she has to agree to be trained by him and eventually she can play with the entire group. I would get whats left of her at the end of the night or next morning with pics and videos of how she was played with earlier. My wife is excited about the prospect, since she loves being submissive, but she hasn't been submissive to this extent and I am concerned that she could get very attached to this new intense lifestyle. I was used to the have fun then come back to reality play style, but this is something new altogether that I dont understand at all. What are the emotional land mines I am allowing to be set , it seems much deeper than just sex. Am I over thinking this or am I really very lucky and going to have the most amazing future time with my wife? Would love all your input before it goes too far or is stopping this from continuing more detrimental to the marriage and I should trust in our ten year success record.

 

[my_hotwife_journey]

Some guys have all the luck....

 

[xxxcouplexxx]

If you have reservations such as you mention then you need to talk to your wife before you start.

 

[1sweetcouple]

If you have reservations such as you mention then you need to talk to your wife before you start.

I have talked to her and I trust her, but its the long term affect on her and myself that I am concerned about. I was hoping to hear from anyone who has experienced this or knows of someone who has a similar experience or situation to let me know if it is working out for them. The situation has so much great potential, my fear is she could get so into this guy she wont see clearly. If I take this away from her now, I take a chance that our entire arrangement that has worked for the last ten years would be damaged, mostly because she would think I dont really trust her after all. By the way, thank you very much for your reply, its much appreciated.

 

[1sweetcouple]

Some guys have all the luck....

So you think my situation is a good thing I take it. Could you share why you think I might need to embrace this instead of being concerned. I would like to hear how you see this working from an outside perspective, thank you in advance.

 

[my_hotwife_journey]

So you think my situation is a good thing I take it. Could you share why you think I might need to embrace this instead of being concerned. I would like to hear how you see this working from an outside perspective, thank you in advance.

I can only relate your concern to my own situation. I would love my gf to 'want' to be a hotwife. But she's reluctant to go from fantasy to reality. Why? Because, just as you say in your post, she's "concerned".

Concerned about what you say? Well, all the things that go along with trying something new, especially when that thing is in opposition to societal norms and values, and goes against cultural programming (brainwashing, let's call it what it is). Not to mention fearing it might negatively impact our relationship.

Now from my side of things, i don't have those concerns because i know that her participating in the lifestyle will only strengthen our relationship. And for me it's all the excitement that will come with exploring this part of our sexuality. I know we will both grow as a result.

I don't mean to be derogatory, but in this scenario your position is like that of the reluctant hotwife, and she's the willing husband. Roles have been reversed . She's excited about exploring this part of her sexuality and apparently has no concerns because she's confident in the strength and openness of your relationship.

A classic case of viewing the situation from the other persons shoes. I think if you do, you'll see that this is something that she is excited to try and it's best to support her in those desires. Talk to her about your concerns - i'm sure she'll will be happy to alleviate them.

Good luck!

 

[1sweetcouple]

I can only relate your concern to my own situation. I would love my gf to 'want' to be a hotwife. But she's reluctant to go from fantasy to reality. Why? Because, just as you say in your post, she's "concerned".

Concerned about what you say? Well, all the things that go along with trying something new, especially when that thing is in opposition to societal norms and values, and goes against cultural programming (brainwashing, let's call it what it is). Not to mention fearing it might negatively impact our relationship.

Now from my side of things, i don't have those concerns because i know that her participating in the lifestyle will only strengthen our relationship. And for me it's all the excitement that will come with exploring this part of our sexuality. I know we will both grow as a result.

I don't mean to be derogatory, but in this scenario your position is like that of the reluctant hotwife, and she's the willing husband. Roles have been reversed . She's excited about exploring this part of her sexuality and apparently has no concerns because she's confident in the strength and openness of your relationship.

A classic case of viewing the situation from the other persons shoes. I think if you do, you'll see that this is something that she is excited to try and it's best to support her in those desires. Talk to her about your concerns - i'm sure she'll will be happy to alleviate them.

Good luck![/QUOT



That was an amazing piece of advise, thank you. Putting myself in the opposite role does sound like a better way to view it. Maybe she is too confident, which makes me think shes being naive to the pitfalls. We have talked about this, but clearly I need to set better ground rules on my end to make me feel more confident to the outcome and let go of some boundaries as I feel better about things.

 

[1sweetcouple]

Update to this slave introduction.......He has already made it clear to her that he shall have full control over her entire sexuality, when she can cum, who she can play with, including her husband{me}, in group settings she must be on the floor by his knees at all times until her orders to play and I am not to touch her until the very end and the group gets to watch us. She has to meet him this Friday without underwear and bra and only a sun dress and sandals. He also told her he would make her wear some jewelry that will officially mark her as his and she is to wear it at all times.

 

[Memyselfnu1962]

As a Dom for over 30 yrs, I will advise caution. BEFORE anything is done, ANY play is permitted, both of you need to understand EXACTLY what the couples demands will be. You need to inquire about what may be required...90% of the people in the lifestyle are for real. It's the other 10% you worry about. I'm just saying you should know EXACTLY what your getting into

 

[1sweetcouple]

As a Dom for over 30 yrs, I will advise caution. BEFORE anything is done, ANY play is permitted, both of you need to understand EXACTLY what the couples demands will be. You need to inquire about what may be required...90% of the people in the lifestyle are for real. It's the other 10% you worry about. I'm just saying you should know EXACTLY what your getting into

I really appreciate your insight and thank you. What should I be most concerned about. He told her he only wants to dominate her sexuality, control when she cums , who she can play with etc. He told her he wont mess up her normal life with family and career. He plans on her coming out to the larger group he plays with in December, until then he said she is to only play with him until he feels shes ready. I cant watch her with him until he feels she is completely his and he will have me watch her on the floor next to his knees for the entire play event while petting her for all to see who owns her. He then plans on making do whatever it is afterwards, that part I dont know, just the part he has told her so far. He said she had to agree to a contract and create a safe word by friday, he said thats when it would be official for him and her.

 

[1sweetcouple]

Just curious as well, once my wife becomes a submissive for a dom, is this a lifetime commitment to one dom or just to the lifestyle in general and what is the percentage of people who decide its not for them or is this so addictive they will be a submissive in some form for life?

 

[1sweetcouple]

As a Dom for over 30 yrs, I will advise caution. BEFORE anything is done, ANY play is permitted, both of you need to understand EXACTLY what the couples demands will be. You need to inquire about what may be required...90% of the people in the lifestyle are for real. It's the other 10% you worry about. I'm just saying you should know EXACTLY what your getting into

I have a really important question regarding what my role will be in all of this if my wife does really enjoy herself and get along well with her Dom. If he puts a collar on her or whatever jewelry that shows ownership, how will she view my status and importance in her life. I wanted a hotwife mostly but it looks like im sorta being a cuck atleast at parties where im invited to watch. What am I to her outside of the parties and bedroom with him. He already told her even when he is not there, she has to ask permission to have sex or try any new things when hes not around, and she can only cum with his permission. Just this week he ordered her to not let me cum in her, but on her only. Can this be successful still, or should i get a part time gf on the side for when i have to go through non sex days with the wife per her doms orders.

 

[Memyselfnu1962]

Remember..first and foremost...it's ALL up to YOU and YOUR wife. SHOULD you BOTH agree to follow the conditions set out by the Dom, then it's a CHOICE. YOU are STILL her husband. YOU still have that role in her life. Should you BOTH agree to the Dom's terms, then YOU need to decide how to deal with that. I stress BOTH of you need to decide on this.. because you a together, and it WILL beyond a any questions affect you BOTH.
I WILL introduce this thought, if there has been no response meet as of yet, and no talks as to expectations, and he is already giving her orders BEFORE the ground rules are set.... Be very careful. It should INLY happen 1 step at a time. IF either of you have doubts, or questions that go unanswered, that should be a red flag! If the guy is truly whom he portays himself to be, he will understand cation.
As for a side partner for yourself, only you and your wife can answer that.

 

[Memyselfnu1962]

As far as contracts go...in the US, these cantracts are NOT legally binding..and in effect are STRICTLY for the Dom and sub.. but if he is demanding a contract, BEFORE even a real time meet and greet... personally I'd walk. But that's just me. It seems to fast for someone who isn't already in the lifestyle. In my experience, a Dom won't even collar a sub for months after they have begun to play....

 

[Memyselfnu1962]

As far as the lifestyle goes MOST people don't commit, of don't commit fully. Some are only bedroom submissives, some want it 24/7 altho you wouldn't know because the fact is EVERY relationship on the face of the earth, one person is submissive to the other.. regardless of how little..it's a nature thing.. SOMEONE is always just a tiny bit more dominant..think of our parents and how they were....think of just before wemans rights.. or ever read the Bible? ( Don't start ladies!! Lol !!) But the commitment is IN you, not the paper you sign,

 

[1sweetcouple]

As far as contracts go...in the US, these cantracts are NOT legally binding..and in effect are STRICTLY for the Dom and sub.. but if he is demanding a contract, BEFORE even a real time meet and greet... personally I'd walk. But that's just me. It seems to fast for someone who isn't already in the lifestyle. In my experience, a Dom won't even collar a sub for months after they have begun to play....

So far he hasnt asked for a contract , the meeting tomorrow is about the rules and concerns part. He is commanding her to dress a certain way for him and says he will buy her more clothes and shoes so he can dress her for when he takes her out to dinner. He did say he wanted to let her have a normal career and family life, but wants her sexuality as his only. I told her to tell him tomorrow what things she wont do, like anal and golden showers, that type of stuff.....so I guess I will know more tomorrow after there first meeting and will let you know more when I KNOW more and truly appreciate you being by my side so to speak .....maybe you should be her Dom instead, lol. Maybe later.....

 

[CoupleRendevous]

I don't have much offer on this subject as this is a topic I don't know much about or see us getting into. I do however wish you both a positive experience.

 

[1sweetcouple]

I don't have much offer on this subject as this is a topic I don't know much about or see us getting into. I do however wish you both a positive experience.

I will keep you up to date...new territory here and shes excited and scared at the same time. First date tomorrow morning.

 

[Memyselfnu1962]

Rereading....it sounded like you had said " he wanted her to agree to a contract and come up with a safe word by Friday" and I understood Friday to be the first meeting. Anyway my thoughts on that still stand...a contract for me isn't something rushed into....the things she won't do I always call " HARD LIMITS" and MUST be made PERFECTLY clear from the start. It's good your involved. I'm flattered at the thought of being her Dom, thank you! But we both know of LDRs lol they seldom work out, and since the passing of my last sub, I haven't been involved in the lifestyle. But I am here, and will pass on what I can, ( sometimes even if you don't want to know it! LOL) Hopefully this is something you will both enjoy!

 

[1sweetcouple]

Well yes he does just not all tomorrow, but wanted her to think about it and gave her a ton of info fast. The safe word he wanted her to have for training purposes and apparently he likes me not being involved at all until he is going to show her off to the rest of his small group and thats when I am allowed to see the new her with him there at the same time.