Wife wants to fuck someone else, need advice
- Thread starter Stedal01
- Start date
Couldn't do what? You'd better get your relationship straightened out.
Craigatore
Male
Hello,
1) NOT BE A CUCK:
1) End the marriage officially
2) Open the marriage. I suggest it as if you start meeting other women it might make you more comprehensive towards her. Your wife will also understand that she cannot make you do everything she wants as there are other women available.
2) BE A CUCK:
1) Put some rules which allows you to be fully involved.
2) Let her full control which is the current situation and it's making you unhappy as she is using you as a meal ticket while she gets smashed by APLAH men.
I think the main issue is... YOU. We on this platform still cannot understand what you want. It seems like you have been forced in this situation to save a marriage that was already over (lack of sex). You have two options:
1) NOT BE A CUCK:
1) End the marriage officially
2) Open the marriage. I suggest it as if you start meeting other women it might make you more comprehensive towards her. Your wife will also understand that she cannot make you do everything she wants as there are other women available.
2) BE A CUCK:
1) Put some rules which allows you to be fully involved.
2) Let her full control which is the current situation and it's making you unhappy as she is using you as a meal ticket while she gets smashed by APLAH men.
Craigatore
Male
I want to make you notice something. She found a new guy in a matter of minutes. That's extremely alarming because she has no respect for you. INSTEAD, she talked about it with the other dude because she sees him as her real man, not you. Obviously, he let her fuck the second dude because he doesn't care about your wife, she is just a cum slut, a low quality woman to empty his balls.
Craigatore
Male
I guarantee you that all the video and photos she sent to the other guy are at least in a WhatsApp group where he shared them to his friends bragging about smashing a married woman while everyone laughs at you. That material might be online, you never know. I really suggest you to post the content on this platform so we can react to them with comments. If that makes you feel good, you are a cuck, if not, you better stop
Craigatore
Male
Regarding you not reading negative feedback, that's what ignorant people do. Science has progressed so much because people asked questions and challenged what's the norm!!!!
Honestly, at this point Im not worrying too much about it. I didn’t end it, she did. I tried to do it for her, give her what she wants and needs but she tried to jump right into the deep end before we even knew how to swim. She was like a kid in a candy store. Whenever I mentioned anything that bothered me about what she was saying, she took it as an attack on her and the arrangement. All I was doing is pointing out things that bothered me in hopes that she would do something to ease the situation so that it wouldn’t bother me as much.
I needed training wheels, especially in the beginning. I’m not a hardcore cuck like a lot of you guys. This fantasy I had prior to her proposing this was just something to jerk off to from time to time. I didn’t crave it and it wasn’t a driving forse in my life to be one. I would have been happy to live out the rest of our life out in monogamy if she didn’t propose this to me in April.
She wanted this and she was playing this at a varsity level right from the start. I needed it to start a little slower until I could take my training wheels off. She was ...... to hear my concerns and and took my airing of grievances as attacks on her and the arrangement she wanted so badly. It got to be too much for her so she ended it.
To be clear, I wasn’t constantly complaining about ....... This last time was probably the third time I spoke up about something I didn’t like. First time was her sharing everything she did with with the local cock with her fuck buddy in Florida, texting him leading up to their first rendezvous, taking and sending him pics and videos of them fucking which by the way she still hasn’t shared with me, there’s no doubt in my mind that she took those pics and vids for him. Second time I complained was about her not including me on any fun sexy texts they have been having, she wanted to keep me in the dark and downplayed what they were texting. She said they weren’t talking about sex much but that was not true. This third time was this last issue about her texting this guy 66 times during the day while they were both at work and the fact that they continued texting that night during a family birthday party we were having for her. That crossed a line.
So be it, I tried but I couldn’t be good cuck husband and just go with it without complaining about what I didn’t like in hopes that she would ease up a little at first while we are still just getting our feet wet. This was eating away my soul and consumed every part of me. Thought about it every waking minute of the day, I couldn’t think about anything else, even my kids. I felt like I was living in a shell of my former self and i was just going through the motions of life without living it. This was not a positive experience for me besides the improved sex life we have been having. Yes, that was a great benefit but its not worth the aggravation and misery I went through all day long just for that brief time at night when we had good sex. It’s just not.
I truly think that we will give it another shot again someday because she wants this so bad. Especially when her friend from Florida comes up again. Not sure when that will be but I know that she won’t be able to resist that and the discussion will be had again…. So we will see.
I needed training wheels, especially in the beginning. I’m not a hardcore cuck like a lot of you guys. This fantasy I had prior to her proposing this was just something to jerk off to from time to time. I didn’t crave it and it wasn’t a driving forse in my life to be one. I would have been happy to live out the rest of our life out in monogamy if she didn’t propose this to me in April.
She wanted this and she was playing this at a varsity level right from the start. I needed it to start a little slower until I could take my training wheels off. She was ...... to hear my concerns and and took my airing of grievances as attacks on her and the arrangement she wanted so badly. It got to be too much for her so she ended it.
To be clear, I wasn’t constantly complaining about ....... This last time was probably the third time I spoke up about something I didn’t like. First time was her sharing everything she did with with the local cock with her fuck buddy in Florida, texting him leading up to their first rendezvous, taking and sending him pics and videos of them fucking which by the way she still hasn’t shared with me, there’s no doubt in my mind that she took those pics and vids for him. Second time I complained was about her not including me on any fun sexy texts they have been having, she wanted to keep me in the dark and downplayed what they were texting. She said they weren’t talking about sex much but that was not true. This third time was this last issue about her texting this guy 66 times during the day while they were both at work and the fact that they continued texting that night during a family birthday party we were having for her. That crossed a line.
So be it, I tried but I couldn’t be good cuck husband and just go with it without complaining about what I didn’t like in hopes that she would ease up a little at first while we are still just getting our feet wet. This was eating away my soul and consumed every part of me. Thought about it every waking minute of the day, I couldn’t think about anything else, even my kids. I felt like I was living in a shell of my former self and i was just going through the motions of life without living it. This was not a positive experience for me besides the improved sex life we have been having. Yes, that was a great benefit but its not worth the aggravation and misery I went through all day long just for that brief time at night when we had good sex. It’s just not.
I truly think that we will give it another shot again someday because she wants this so bad. Especially when her friend from Florida comes up again. Not sure when that will be but I know that she won’t be able to resist that and the discussion will be had again…. So we will see.
Craigatore
Male
The truth is, she just cut you OFF completely. She is going to do everything she wants behind your back. She loves the other dude, not you. You are just a beta male provider. She will squeeze as much money as she can from you while the other guy enjoys her piece of ass. Stop believing in a lie. If you don't trust us on a website, talk to someone close to you. Tell everything to a close friend or even a family member. They will all says the same thing : YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALREADY OVER!!! SHE IS JUST USING YOU. YOU ARE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. We need to talk more about toxic femininity and abusive women, bacause she is one of them
Wow man, that’s a little over the top, don’t you think? What experience do you have on this subject? Anyone ever post stuff on here when everything implodes like you describe? I couldn’t find many posts where this lifestyle didn’t work out and the marriage ended in divorce.
Listen, in all honesty the way you two went about this was all wrong. Her getting involved "romantically" with a guy she knows is a threat to your marriage and a guy who you just don't like was total bullshit. If she wants a husband to let her have sexual freedom with other guys then she needs to follow rule number one which is "Preserve your primary relationship". After THAT then the other rules sort of find their way and don't need to be too restrictive. She seemed to have fun with the other guy and that's what both of you are looking for with this. True "hotwifing" is a deal worked out between a married couple and can be very satisfying. The trouble I see with you is that you do not have a very strong marriage. Fucking other guys while your marriage is teetering on failure is simply a fool's errand. It will end in disaster. If you truly love each other then get that relationship figured out and then work towards sexual freedom.
In this situation I honestly believe that she will cheat on you, but that's ok. As long as she isn't cheating with that guy or any guy who is a threat to your family, your relationship, your careers, etc. If she cheats and you "kind of know" about it, catch her a bit then that can be very sexually exciting too. It just seems that her ideas and yours diverge significantly.
My thoughts, she needs to know you are number one and that she will never again be unfaithful with her love and affection that should be reserved for her husband. You both need to know that the other will be there for each other always. After that, just let her cheat and get her sexual thrill with other guys. Honestly, every time you look at your wife from now on, every time you kiss her, every time you give her oral sex, every time you fuck her you will KNOW that she has done that as your wife with other men. There is no getting away from that. The good thing is, that's the biggest part, getting that out of the way. Now she's done it and there is no reason not to let other guys have her body too.
My take I guess
Mrs Hotwife
Thanks for the advice everyone. I really didn’t want to end this. She made that decision. I think we could have continued but she wanted it on her terms and she expected me to me to fall into place without without complaining about anything that bothered me. She was fed up with the three things I mentioned before and that last one was the straw that broke the camels back. Those three issues I had were breeding only negative angst. I couldn’t find the excitement in that and make this fun. I keep thinking of the analogy of jumping into the deep end before we knew how to swim, very fitting.
I could have even continued this if even if she said she wasn’t going to change any of that, but she ended it because she didn’t want to deal with that and also out of concern for me that this was too much for
me to handle, which I love her for. She knows it was tearing me up and causing me a lot of stress and aggravation. If she had taken a step back, consoled me and changed what she was doing, it would have gone a long way in easing my stress and aggravation.
I think she was trying her best to play the part of a cuckoldress and put me in my place which I respect. That is what I thought I wanted. When it became evident by my complaining that I couldn’t handle some aspects of it, she took offense to what I was saying and took it as me attacking her all the time. So she got fed up and ended it.
I don’t want this to end, just want to start off with training wheels until I can learn to control myself and really enjoy this. I really think I can learn to rationalize things better and control the negative angst but she doesn’t seem to have the patience to wait.
Oh well. Like I said, I think we will continue this someday but until then we are going to work on our marriage as suggested by you very helpful folks here on this thread. We aren’t even mentioning the arrangement since it’s too raw a subject but I will try and broach the subject again about continuing again once things have calmed down. I must say that it has been nice not having to stress about this for three days, it’s been so peaceful. I want this for her though because she really wants this and I really think we can make it work to where both of us are happy, not just her. Thanks again everyone and I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.
I could have even continued this if even if she said she wasn’t going to change any of that, but she ended it because she didn’t want to deal with that and also out of concern for me that this was too much for
me to handle, which I love her for. She knows it was tearing me up and causing me a lot of stress and aggravation. If she had taken a step back, consoled me and changed what she was doing, it would have gone a long way in easing my stress and aggravation.
I think she was trying her best to play the part of a cuckoldress and put me in my place which I respect. That is what I thought I wanted. When it became evident by my complaining that I couldn’t handle some aspects of it, she took offense to what I was saying and took it as me attacking her all the time. So she got fed up and ended it.
I don’t want this to end, just want to start off with training wheels until I can learn to control myself and really enjoy this. I really think I can learn to rationalize things better and control the negative angst but she doesn’t seem to have the patience to wait.
Oh well. Like I said, I think we will continue this someday but until then we are going to work on our marriage as suggested by you very helpful folks here on this thread. We aren’t even mentioning the arrangement since it’s too raw a subject but I will try and broach the subject again about continuing again once things have calmed down. I must say that it has been nice not having to stress about this for three days, it’s been so peaceful. I want this for her though because she really wants this and I really think we can make it work to where both of us are happy, not just her. Thanks again everyone and I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.
Craigatore
Male
Man, I truly wish the best for your life from the bottom of my heart. Also check your private messages
My wife found this post and wrote a reply. She doesn’t want to post it but she allowed me to. Here it is, unedited;
“I had not searched out this forum as I told him I understood that he needed a place to go and share his thoughts and speak with like minded people. My outlet was Guy #1 and not a public forum. I will not point out all his mistakes and flaws here because I don’t ever speak negatively about him to others. However, it is time to set a few things straight because now that I’ve seen this version of events, reality at times omitted, some perspective is definitely needed. He is absorbing the comments on here and it’s creating a great deal of confusion for him. I might also add that it’s frustrating to not be defended by him when strangers are attacking my character. So here is the other side.
Our sex life was suffering and we both knew it. He just doesn’t look at me like he used to, I was no longer the person he met years ago. My sexuality was my own then, and I enjoyed going after what I wanted. Fact is that’s probably a huge reason he was attracted to me in the first place. Then, like most people we put ourselves in the monogamy box and that is where we’ve stayed, myself included, with the exception of our agreed upon adventures. I have never strayed from our marriage unless it was agreed upon. I’m not a cheat and I have never, nor would I ever go behind his back for sex. I don’t play games like that.
Guy #1 is someone I’ve known for years. The sex is great and he has always had the upmost respect for my relationship with my husband and what’s more, respect FOR my husband. It’s not romantic, it is the quintessential FWB relationship. Husband, Guy #1 and I have all been together sexually (2 times) in the past. Everyone enjoyed those experiences, husband included.
Husband gave me a stipulation when we went down this road. He told me that I couldn’t waiver, I had to go all in with this role or it wouldn’t work. So I did. I was told to take what I wanted and if he objected or complained I was to put him in his place. This was difficult as it was a bit against my nature but I gave it my all. He struggled, understandably so, and I did my best to hear him and adjust as what he said he wanted, and why he really could handle were two very different things. I rode the roller coaster that you all saw play out here trying to shift and adjust as things came up. As husband described it himself to me on numerous occasions, he was all in until he’d dump his load, then he’d question everything.
Several times prior to now I almost called it quits on this. He’d tell me every day how this situation makes him crazy, he can’t eat, he can’t ......, his drinking increased and even was happening early afternoon or on his way home from work. I’m not sure that any wife when hearing that wouldn’t do exactly what I did and hold back a little bit until he could handle it. My real mistake was not putting and end to it sooner. I saw my husband in turmoil and kept pursuing this, at his urging, but still, that was wrong and that is what I need to own.
Husband is definitely not my “meal ticket”, nor am I a “toxic female” just out to get his money, thats actually “lol” funny. Since he isn’t setting the record straight, I will. I am a hard working, professional woman who contributes equally financially to our marriage. We aren’t married because I need someone to support me. I have cared for his children no differently than I care for my own. In fact as he was posting one of his most recent updates in the morning I was spending time with his children on their weekend with us. I’m a ......, a professional and a dedicated wife before all else. I also happen to like sex, a lot. He’s right, I don’t drink, or do ...... to burn off steam. Sex for me has always been able to give me that outlet. Guess it’s time to order some wine.
He and I married because we love each other and make an amazing team as we navigate this crazy world. I, like I honestly believe many other woman experience, get lost in the sea of expectations, wife, ......, provider, taxi, mental health crisis coordinator, housekeeper to name just a few. The me he met and fell in love with was also a sexy, classy lady who loved sex. That part of me has been nudged out by all of the other “wife” expectations and we both miss it. His stipulation from the start was that I needed to go all in, mine was that this would never damage our marriage if it worked or didn’t.”
“I had not searched out this forum as I told him I understood that he needed a place to go and share his thoughts and speak with like minded people. My outlet was Guy #1 and not a public forum. I will not point out all his mistakes and flaws here because I don’t ever speak negatively about him to others. However, it is time to set a few things straight because now that I’ve seen this version of events, reality at times omitted, some perspective is definitely needed. He is absorbing the comments on here and it’s creating a great deal of confusion for him. I might also add that it’s frustrating to not be defended by him when strangers are attacking my character. So here is the other side.
Our sex life was suffering and we both knew it. He just doesn’t look at me like he used to, I was no longer the person he met years ago. My sexuality was my own then, and I enjoyed going after what I wanted. Fact is that’s probably a huge reason he was attracted to me in the first place. Then, like most people we put ourselves in the monogamy box and that is where we’ve stayed, myself included, with the exception of our agreed upon adventures. I have never strayed from our marriage unless it was agreed upon. I’m not a cheat and I have never, nor would I ever go behind his back for sex. I don’t play games like that.
Guy #1 is someone I’ve known for years. The sex is great and he has always had the upmost respect for my relationship with my husband and what’s more, respect FOR my husband. It’s not romantic, it is the quintessential FWB relationship. Husband, Guy #1 and I have all been together sexually (2 times) in the past. Everyone enjoyed those experiences, husband included.
Husband gave me a stipulation when we went down this road. He told me that I couldn’t waiver, I had to go all in with this role or it wouldn’t work. So I did. I was told to take what I wanted and if he objected or complained I was to put him in his place. This was difficult as it was a bit against my nature but I gave it my all. He struggled, understandably so, and I did my best to hear him and adjust as what he said he wanted, and why he really could handle were two very different things. I rode the roller coaster that you all saw play out here trying to shift and adjust as things came up. As husband described it himself to me on numerous occasions, he was all in until he’d dump his load, then he’d question everything.
Several times prior to now I almost called it quits on this. He’d tell me every day how this situation makes him crazy, he can’t eat, he can’t ......, his drinking increased and even was happening early afternoon or on his way home from work. I’m not sure that any wife when hearing that wouldn’t do exactly what I did and hold back a little bit until he could handle it. My real mistake was not putting and end to it sooner. I saw my husband in turmoil and kept pursuing this, at his urging, but still, that was wrong and that is what I need to own.
Husband is definitely not my “meal ticket”, nor am I a “toxic female” just out to get his money, thats actually “lol” funny. Since he isn’t setting the record straight, I will. I am a hard working, professional woman who contributes equally financially to our marriage. We aren’t married because I need someone to support me. I have cared for his children no differently than I care for my own. In fact as he was posting one of his most recent updates in the morning I was spending time with his children on their weekend with us. I’m a ......, a professional and a dedicated wife before all else. I also happen to like sex, a lot. He’s right, I don’t drink, or do ...... to burn off steam. Sex for me has always been able to give me that outlet. Guess it’s time to order some wine.
He and I married because we love each other and make an amazing team as we navigate this crazy world. I, like I honestly believe many other woman experience, get lost in the sea of expectations, wife, ......, provider, taxi, mental health crisis coordinator, housekeeper to name just a few. The me he met and fell in love with was also a sexy, classy lady who loved sex. That part of me has been nudged out by all of the other “wife” expectations and we both miss it. His stipulation from the start was that I needed to go all in, mine was that this would never damage our marriage if it worked or didn’t.”
Short and sweet. The main issue here is lack of communication!! Plain and simple.
Angelo1977
Well-Known Member
Thanks for the feedback. Lack of communication on who’s part? Mine, hers, both of us? I thought I was communicating by saying what bothered me? Please elaborate on how we could have communicated better. Just want to know how to make it a better experience for both of us the next time we try this.
Angelo1977
Well-Known Member
A good cuckold is focused on pleasing his wife any way he can that includes letting her fuck any cock she wants at any time she wants --- hoping that she will share the details with you later while riding your face. Be sure she knows you want to be there to watch and be her sex slave.
Craigatore
Male
Both, your mistake is that you wanted the FULL cuckold experience but you weren't ready for this. Her fault is not listening to you... She was surprised that after you cum you would change??!!?! When a man is horny he thinks with his penis, after unloading you could see the real situation and elaborate it rationally. Even 12 years old knows that. It's her fault for exploiting this male weakness to go out of her way and ingnore what you really want.
For her: having a sexual partner doesn't require to send hundreds of messages daily, nor to hide videos and photos from your husband. Why you didn't send him the content but instead to guy #1 when you were with guy#2 ? And you did have sex on his back, that happened with guy #2, and with those only you know about. He has been clearly upset about this matter and told you several times. You have no excuse for this issue. What's between you and guy#1 is more than just sex, the prove is that you know eachother for years...
You did not hid it properly because you have been deleting messages from the chat
Craigatore
Male
How did she found this post? And does she have access to your account? In that case you might put your profile as a couple and use it together. However I don't recommend it. I suggest to keep this account to yourself, so you can ask advice to make you feel better, and plan for anything special that can give your wife a nice surprise i.e. toys, dresses etc...
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