I think the counselor is full of ...... and just going with what you and your wife are telling him just to to make you and her feel better,
The first time I was married my ex-wife used to run off on her own for a few months until I would eventually talk her into coming back, eventually we talked about it and she confessed that she still wanted to date and meet new men,
I didn't even have to think about her also wanting to fuck new men because why else date, eventually I got rid of her after the 4th time she ran off, it became too much of an issue because there was no trust or communication between us, towards the end I started fucking her best friend and that really didn't go right with my ex-wife,
It was ok for her to run off and fuck other men but when it came to me fucking for best friend I was the one that was cheating on her, after getting rid of her I found out later that she got pregnant and eventually remarried, I found out from another one of her friends I fucked that my ex-wife didn't even know who got her pregnant,
With my second wife it was much different our trust and communication about what we wanted in our marriage was discussed way before we got married, everything we do we've always been upfront with each other and it has lasted us 27 years, we are both free to be with other partners if we want and we always share all the details, no matter what happens our marriage always comes first.