Weird crossroads, advice please!!!

[whiskeyguy101]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

 

[drakebelg]

It sounds like you haven't had a serious talk about it outside of sexplay?

As almost all people advise, you need to have a serious discussion about it. Is it cuckold, hotwife, solo , MFM,.... and so many more details.

 

[Blxx]

I think it’s normal for the wife to want it to be one in one at first. There’s a lot of pressure with you a new guy and her 3some or you watching.

Talk to her about your concerns and fears. She’s willing to do it and tell you, that maybe what you get at first or forever. But she’s willing to fuck another guy for you. That’s a huge step!!!!

Maybe ask her if she does do that and you are ok with it what’s the end goal here?

Are him and I always going to be separate or do you see it turning into a 3some or you watching? And go from there!!

Tell her you thought it’d be something fun to try together as a couple? Be supportive as she had her own thoughts and feelings.

I’d love my wife to fuck another guy and tell me about it! I’m assuming when/if she’s ready she’ll want one on one too. At least at first.

 

[Bully-W]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

My advise would be to go along if you ever want to make progress on your MFM thoughts/wishes. Your wifey is willing to give it a go with another man, but in private without being watched. Remember you are not the only one involved... Set limits and do the reclaim play. Let her fuck that dude and when she comes home fuck her while she tells you how it was... Stay safe GL.

 

[werekinky2]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

Maybe try asking her how about first few times that you’re at least there to make sure she is safe also you are really turned on by watching. It will work out

 

[gyokerzoltan]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

i know what you feel its your hotest fantasy to watch her and wank for the sight and maybe even joining in.

For a woman it is emotional thing its not just about lust They cheating but They are not happy that hubby just
want to cum from the sight like
its a live porn movie.

Would love to hear from someone who had a threesome experience with his wife and with another guy how They ended up nude in the same bed.

What did he said to the wife so she had no problem to be with 2 guys .
Was just plain ...... evening ...... maybe?
The only way i could imagine happening the wife picks up the guy start bouncing on the cock and the husband just walks in when both of them moaning very loud so They would not able to tell him to get out.
He would just say i am the husband and now its my turn while undressing.

 

[Tjmill]

Maybe the choices can be:
She fucks him and tells you about it after.
She fucks him and comes home to you after and tells you all about it and you eat creampie and/or get sloppy seconds.
She Fucks him and you watch in the same room and eat creampie and/or get sloppy seconds - or not.
She fucks both of you in MFM. Do what you all want afterwards.

Ideas for consideration.

 

[whiskeyguy101]

Thanks for everyone's advice, was a bit of misunderstanding on both ends, came down to what some of you said about the pressure of someone new and working up to me being in the room. I can work with that lol.
Had some hot sex talking about it, talking about his 24yo cock inside her 40yo milf pussy🥵🫦. She said she wants to drain him and show him how good older pussy is. She told me to watch for him in the locker room at the gym to see if he has a good looking cock lol!! (Hope he's thick!) Bring her that young cock energy! 🤪
There is a black guy that works with the young guy that she admitted is attractive and nice to talk with, but she doesn't see him peeping all the time like the young one lol!

She is really turned on that this young guy be eye fucking her constantly!
She swears it feels like she always catching him peeping around or walking by a lot. Not sure if he actually is or if its coincidence but I gotta say I do love hearing about it, I just want to see her cum and gush all over him! See his reaction haha!

Now this is pure fantasy cause I think she would think sideways of me BUT I would love to see her gush all over his cock as he is busting a huge load inside her, as he goes to wash up, I go and clean her up nicely before giving her my cock. But I think her history might would have her taking it the wrong way lol.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

Yes, you're the "fucked up one here". This is so typical with guys. You want her to do this, talk her in to it eventually, then you want everything to go your way. Well, sorry, it doesn't happen that way. It's much more relaxing and less stress for her (as she's told you) if she goes on a date, has sex with him and then comes home and tells you about it. If you absolutely insist on a MFM for the first time then take her to a lifestyle club where that sort of thing is easy to find and the guys have experience with it. Once again, she's "vanilla" at this point and so is he. In this lifestyle we consider all of this stuff normal, but out in the regular world it's all very weird and can be off putting. Do you really think she's going to meet some guy at the gym and then he's going to be comfortable having sex with her in front of her husband the first time?

Just give her permission to play on her terms, don't "bug" her about any of this and let her play and tell you about it on HER TERMS. Once she grows accustomed to sex with other men, especially if she enjoys it, then your MFM and other fantasies are more likely to happen. In all honesty, I doubt you're compatible with the lifestyle as a husband. (sorry, but I see the signs and I've seen this type of thing for a long time). The first thing you must do is let her be free to fool around a bit solo, see if you can handle that and then take it further is she wants. My concerns with you are getting angry with her or jealous and taking it out on her. That will destroy the lifestyle for you forever and could ruin your relationship. Also, if you get angry and jealous when she's really enjoying herself with another man (who's way better than you perhaps) and you get jealous or angry and cause a huge scene it would be catasrophic. We see this quite often in the LS and see couples who are miserable on vacations or trips to clubs and parties due to jealousy and anger issues. This isn't easy on a husband and if your wife begins to really enjoy her newfound freedom, you need to go along for the ride and take what you can get from it. This isn't easy on a wife at first either. She's most likely concerned that you'll get angry and use this against her for the rest of your marriage. If you aren't secure totally in your marriage, this is the kind of thing that both of you would use in front of a judge during the divorce hearing. (many high profile cases about this in the press over the years) You MUST be careful to not show any emotion negatively toward her or any respectful partner of hers.

Mrs Hw

 

[Blxx]

Yes, you're the "fucked up one here". This is so typical with guys. You want her to do this, talk her in to it eventually, then you want everything to go your way. Well, sorry, it doesn't happen that way. It's much more relaxing and less stress for her (as she's told you) if she goes on a date, has sex with him and then comes home and tells you about it. If you absolutely insist on a MFM for the first time then take her to a lifestyle club where that sort of thing is easy to find and the guys have experience with it. Once again, she's "vanilla" at this point and so is he. In this lifestyle we consider all of this stuff normal, but out in the regular world it's all very weird and can be off putting. Do you really think she's going to meet some guy at the gym and then he's going to be comfortable having sex with her in front of her husband the first time?

Just give her permission to play on her terms, don't "bug" her about any of this and let her play and tell you about it on HER TERMS. Once she grows accustomed to sex with other men, especially if she enjoys it, then your MFM and other fantasies are more likely to happen. In all honesty, I doubt you're compatible with the lifestyle as a husband. (sorry, but I see the signs and I've seen this type of thing for a long time). The first thing you must do is let her be free to fool around a bit solo, see if you can handle that and then take it further is she wants. My concerns with you are getting angry with her or jealous and taking it out on her. That will destroy the lifestyle for you forever and could ruin your relationship. Also, if you get angry and jealous when she's really enjoying herself with another man (who's way better than you perhaps) and you get jealous or angry and cause a huge scene it would be catasrophic. We see this quite often in the LS and see couples who are miserable on vacations or trips to clubs and parties due to jealousy and anger issues. This isn't easy on a husband and if your wife begins to really enjoy her newfound freedom, you need to go along for the ride and take what you can get from it. This isn't easy on a wife at first either. She's most likely concerned that you'll get angry and use this against her for the rest of your marriage. If you aren't secure totally in your marriage, this is the kind of thing that both of you would use in front of a judge during the divorce hearing. (many high profile cases about this in the press over the years) You MUST be careful to not show any emotion negatively toward her or any respectful partner of hers.

Mrs Hw

Well said. My Wife is sharing more about her past and making comments about other guys as she’s realizing I’m not jealous nor upset by. I just want her to have fun and enjoy herself and if that is worth another guy from time to time by herself or with me I’m not only fine with it but excited by it. I show her my rock hard erection and then fuck her like crazy lol

 

[TheCABull]

Hey, I need some perspective here!

So lots of dirty/ fantasies talk over the past 18 months or so. When we talked originally she seemed like it would stay fantasy kinda thing. When we would play in the bedroom I always talked it like a MFM kinda thing.

I guess she is warming up a bit, she sees this guy at the gym looking at her a lot, and she mentioned the other day about chatting him up(ok cool), then gets into him being like a BF....I was like yeah but the 3 of us would play together, and says she's shy and that I know this and that she doesn't think she could do it with me there....I told her (calmly) I'm not sure about that, I've never envisioned it being like that, I've always seen it as a us together kinda thing.

Few hours later I told her I don't think I feel comfortable with that dynamic. Next day she's all upset with me telling me she talked herself up into trying this for me and I'm going back on it... I'm feeling gutted that she's upset, but this is never how I wanted it to go, I love her getting flirted with, feeling good about herself, they can goto dinner or whatever, even watching and us going at it afterwards, but I want to be a part of it. She talks like they would go on a date, fuck, come home to tell me about it and we fuck. But I really don't like that concept to be honest.
I'm so torn about it all now, she's irritated but I also feel like she's not hearing what I'm trying to get across.... am I the fucked up one here, I just don't fucking know anymore.

I can understand it, I’ve had experience with hotwives that ask for something similar. I’ve always been very clear and straightforward on the type of dynamic I like with this situation. You all need to agree with it before she does something with the guy. What does she feel about this ?