In short, why are some women not interested or hesitant when husbands are willing to share them with another man regardless of Stag or Cuck. I can understand the woman feeling the relationship isn't strong enough to take such a risk, that makes total sense. But if it's a strong relationship and the husband is not only on board but the one pushing for it. Why in the world are some women not interested?? It blows my mind because I feel if the situation were reversed most men would feel they hit the lotto. And it seems like over 50% of men wanting this are stuck in the "wannabe" zone. Seriously, I would love a female perspective on this or even couples that have been through this. You would think even the "danger" aspect is gone as most men would help find guys and be close by to protect. I just can't figure out a negative other than not secure enough or flat out doesn't care about sex.
Serious question that I'd love feedback on...
- Thread starter Irishman25
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My wife fears she would feel like a slut afterwards. And NO: I would not jump right on it if my wife asked me to do with another woman.
Ok, I take it back that most men would jump at the idea....I digress 🙂
But the not wanting to "feel like a slut" doesn't make sense to me as that's letting other peoples opinions drive your pleasure. And for that matter, nobody would know except 3 people.
But the not wanting to "feel like a slut" doesn't make sense to me as that's letting other peoples opinions drive your pleasure. And for that matter, nobody would know except 3 people.
She ought know "what and why" there are these husband's motivations to do hotwifing. Because it is a counter intuitive posture for a husband (and a wife) in a steady relationship.
You might consider that even when the wife is indeed kinky and eager to enjoy more sexual adventures, she would face uncertainties regarding the exposure to other men (physical, psychological, romantic...) in such manner.
So, it is a risky and careful game to play within in most of cases.
petco
Male
Loosing face and reputation if s.o.finds out . ( can she really 100% trust the 3.one ) it s a big fear in asia
Yup. I think they basically thought that when getting married it made them a good girl for the rest of their lives and they didn't have to think or feel bad about other things they might have done - no matter how fun, - because after all, it's about being a good girl.
So my wife took some convincing and has offered for me to have a woman along with her, standing offer , but I really have no interest in a FMF or even me ...... with a woman while she watches etc. I pushed really hard for her to ...... with another man and I watch, like I drove her crazy with it and it was a tough sell. She gave me all the reasons why not to do it, manogomy, our relationship, STDs, and so on. I did not relent. I initially offered it as a one time thing where I watch her ...... with 2 strangers I select, do it and be done. That didn't work for a number of reasons, first she doesn'y want to ...... with 2 randos I selected, she wants to at minimum to be attracted to someone she has sex with, makes sense. Secondly, as a straight man I am the worst possible source to find men to ...... with her. I have a lifetime of finding women to ...... with, not guys, she however is much better at it. So I outsourced that to her. We tried a common friend thinking it was the least awkward, not at all. Eventually I said she needs to find someone she would be interested in. We decided that we would rather she have a regular boyfriend we see that she likes, I am comfortable with etc. Might not be the route for you, I get it, but she feels most comfortable in the ongoing thing , I guess as a woman she doesn't feel slutty just banging a rando. For me, I like our new situation. I am not a person who likes to spend 2 months shopping for a new car, I buy what I want and live with it. We hated trying to source a partner for her, everything was wrong, dead ends, weirdos. She eased her way to where we are now, which was all my doing but I love watching her have sex with him and participating in our ongoing MFM weekends and even letting her fly solo with him. This is not for everyone.
There are so many different reasons.
My wife was in a cuckold relationship almost 30-years ago (long before she or I had ever heard of such things!) She ended up falling for one of their lovers and left her first husband. So in my wife’s case, she doesn’t want to risk our relationship. She says the odds of someone getting hurt are too high.
She also says she’s been there and done that… she admits she has had well over 100-lovers and doesn’t have any desire for more. She also says she doesn’t miss the feeling of being intimate with someone she doesn’t love.
In my first marriage, my wife wanted an open relationship and we separated so she could fuck other guys. I was not interested at all because she was the only woman I had been with and I had no intention of being with anyone else in my lifetime. I have still only been with 3-women and I am 54.
There are plenty of women who don’t need or want more sex in their lives. Lots of women who are scared of disease.
Our chats have always been hundreds of miles from home using fake names.
Wow, thanks for the thoughtful response. You've definitely she'd some light for me. My wife also has said she'd like to have a connection but with our plan of MAYBE doing it on vacation makes it hard to be anything more than a random guy.
Vacation was my plan but it was hard to find someone/screen tem and have them where we will be.
My wife took years of convincing, she had no interest at all in being fucked by other guys and couldn't understand why I wanted her to. Now she absolutely loves it to the point that I can't see her ever going back to having sex with just me only
For my OH who definitely wouldn't be up for it I think her main issue would be that her first husband cheated on her which may have somewhat coloured her thinking on sex with other people. She did reveal a few weeks ago that between her and her husband separating and the 2 of us meeting, she did have a FWB for a while which surprised me asi didn't think it'd be her thing at all
I've told my wife I'd like her try a bigger cock on a bigger guy and her response was a hard no. Upon asking her why, I could tell she was clearly obsessed with not feeling attractive. She's older, she's not your prototypical "skinny mini". She has some skin discoloring from birth control pills that never went away (she stopped them long ago). She broke her ankle years ago and she's self-conscious of her scarring. Her self-confidence regarding her appearance is very low. In short she doesn't see herself as sexually attractive.
That crushes my heart because I think she is and she thinks I'm just being kind. Anything I say to dispute her is thrown out as "a husband's bias". I've tried to tell her that there are men that like all types of women and that falls on deaf ears.
That's just the physical part. The moral/social part gets every bit as difficult to maneuver around. Like many people, she has a religious background that has taught her to reject sex outside of marriage as an abomination. Her church has had families caught in adultery and she's witnessed the turmoil, they have always been a wellspring for gossip and scandal that is still talked about long afterwards. She clearly doesn't want that kind of scrutiny.
She has lots of mental hurdles that, as much as I want to help her past them, she has to want to get over them too. If I'm too eager to help she suspects an ulterior motive. If I simply observe and do not prompt or promote any building of her self-confidence it slips back into being unmentioned and forgotten about. None of this ...... is easy.
That crushes my heart because I think she is and she thinks I'm just being kind. Anything I say to dispute her is thrown out as "a husband's bias". I've tried to tell her that there are men that like all types of women and that falls on deaf ears.
That's just the physical part. The moral/social part gets every bit as difficult to maneuver around. Like many people, she has a religious background that has taught her to reject sex outside of marriage as an abomination. Her church has had families caught in adultery and she's witnessed the turmoil, they have always been a wellspring for gossip and scandal that is still talked about long afterwards. She clearly doesn't want that kind of scrutiny.
She has lots of mental hurdles that, as much as I want to help her past them, she has to want to get over them too. If I'm too eager to help she suspects an ulterior motive. If I simply observe and do not prompt or promote any building of her self-confidence it slips back into being unmentioned and forgotten about. None of this ...... is easy.
I’d like to know too. Especially when you know they’ve said there was no attraction to you and they never enjoyed doing certain things with you.
Thanks for the female perspective. I know STD's are always a concern....But she'd want to use a rubber. And if said guy isn't okay with that...he can keep moving on to the next girl.
Remember that women are the opposite of men and trained that way from childhood. Its a cultural thing. Think about it. When boys are comming of age they take pride in and are praised for their sexual conquests while girls can easily get a bad reputation. The guy gets respect while a girl looses her honor. Guys are studs, girls are sluts. It's a double standard. Men and women get wired differently so is it any wonder that women would be reluctant to forsake the code of purity she was brought up to hold so dear to her. That would be like a woman asking a proud male to surrender his masculinity and reputation as a good provider and become a looser wimp.
Azncouple21
Couple
I am in the same boat. Back in the day wife and I used to MMF rather regularly. Then she got pregnant with our ......, she gave birth, then covid and now 8 years have gone by. Well after covid was over, I tried bringing it up again. While she didnt flat out say, no, I can tell there isnt that willingness anymore to particiapte. Last year we went to vegas, just the two of us, and I found a few guys through DL to flirt with her.
Well that was a disaster to say the least. The one guy who I thought was a sure thing ended up being a flake, lying saying he was here then there then asking where are you and by the time i realized he was jerking me around, it was too late. the other guy who was just as good, lost intrest since i stopped talking to him. I ended up telling her at diner that i planned to have a guy hit on her, she was pissed off at me for about 30 min then got over but in the long run i probably ruined any chance of having a 3 way
What to do now?
Well that was a disaster to say the least. The one guy who I thought was a sure thing ended up being a flake, lying saying he was here then there then asking where are you and by the time i realized he was jerking me around, it was too late. the other guy who was just as good, lost intrest since i stopped talking to him. I ended up telling her at diner that i planned to have a guy hit on her, she was pissed off at me for about 30 min then got over but in the long run i probably ruined any chance of having a 3 way
What to do now?
It took my wife a long time to come to terms with the idea that just because she liked big cock and sex with other men she wasn’t in some way betraying me. She felt that it would threaten my manhood for her to have better sex with sexually superior men. I did not push her and she came around to the idea that her pleasure meant everything to me even if she got that pleasure from someone else.
It didn’t hurt that I confessed that I knew she had cheated on me wife my hung roommate and I was still with her years later.
It didn’t hurt that I confessed that I knew she had cheated on me wife my hung roommate and I was still with her years later.
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