My wife, our situation, your thoughts

[Newbiewife]

Mine does want to lose the weight so I told her I'd help her with weight lifting and aerobics. Since I do the cooking I can customize our meals to be low carb as well as portion control. I hope it works.

 

[billbuster41]

Mine does want to lose the weight so I told her I'd help her with weight lifting and aerobics. Since I do the cooking I can customize our meals to be low carb as well as portion control. I hope it works.

All women worry in some sort about appearance. The events leading up to play just need to show her she’s imagining issues or that they are not a real worry.

 

[Newbiewife]

All women worry in some sort about appearance. The events leading up to play just need to show her she’s imagining issues or that they are not a real worry.

Easier said than done

 

[coastalkid]

All women worry in some sort about appearance. The events leading up to play just need to show her she’s imagining issues or that they are not a real worry.

I don't disagree with you.

I've read threads here where the wives are self-conscious and miraculously overcome those fears with one successful experience. It's so ironic that something a husband spends so much time trying to convince a wife that she's attractive can be accomplished by relative stranger in one night. All that effort feels pointless. The wives move on with next step whatever that is. It's the getting them to believe enough to take the risk.

 

[billbuster41]

Easier said than done

Exactly. The trust for the beginning and a patient stranger/bull/make can be a world of difference

 

[majorem]

My situation is a bit different my wife gets off on the idea of sucking another guys cock black or white. The problem is she is so body conscious that she won't let me see her naked let alone someone else. She is a very attractive Blonde 5,1 great 32B tits nice ass and amazing bald pussy..it's the middle she hates. No amount of building her up or showing her other woman who hide the not so good areas. So unless she loses weight it's a no go.

Reality is, she will likely never lose enough weight to feel confident / happy (not that she won't lose weight, she'll just always think she needs to lose more) or it will become something else. I think it is more an issue of being out of the dating-market for so long and being afraid to try again and fail. And of course, there is nothing you can say as her husband to reassure her because, as my wife has remarked "you're my husband, you have to say that."

I know my wife has gained some confidence just from going to the gym, even though it hasn't had very significant results yet.

More so though, I think what will help is to come up with some plan to dress her sexy and put her in a situation where other men can come onto her. Maybe take her to a bar or club and tell her to go have fun and see what happens, leave her for an extended time to "go to the bathroom" or whatever. I think nothing helps spark confidence in women like actual men hitting on them.

Even then, it takes repeated encounters. On our way to dinner my wife had to run into a drugstore to buy lipstick and she was all sexed up in a hot dress. A guy literally came up to her and said "someday I wish I could find a wife as hot as you". Even when these things happen, she will downplay it and say he was putting her on and I have to try to convince her the guy really meant it... its a battle

 

[thebeginner]

My wife was very conservative when we first got together. I didn't think she would ever agree to anything beyond us for years. When I started to have these fantasies I kept them to myself at first because I was afraid it would make her feel a certain way about me. After being married for a few years I started to share my fantasy with her and, although she wouldn't participate, she let me know she was ok with me having the fantasies. But I always got "don't expect it to ever happen" response from her. I didn't realize it but I was planting the seeds as mentioned above. For several years it didn't seem to be going anywhere so I began to settle on it never happening. Then one night in a bar we were joking around and started to play, who would you do. We would take turns picking out people at the bar and ask each other which would we pick to fuck if we had to. We had to pick one and then we would explain why we picked that person. The answers we gave was sometimes funny, but always interesting and we learned some things about each other we didn't know. This started to give me some hope again as she seemed edger to play this game when ever the two of us went out. To my surprise, one night, she asked how far would I really be willing to go. When it was her turn to answer she started with, "this may surprise you, but in the right situation, maybe." BINGO!!! For the next several nights at home we talked about what we would be willing to try and what would be unacceptable. All of a sudden we were on swinger sites building our profile and were soon immersed in the lifestyle. My point is, I was in that situation and planted those seeds. I never got pushy or upset at her responses or lack of a response, but gently kept at it. I was lucky that she finally agreed to try and she enjoyed it, more so than she ever thought she would. But at the same time, you have to be prepared to accept that she may never come around. In fact, I would say chances are she won't, and you need to be ok with that. After all, she should be much more important than any of this. I look forward to hearing how it turns out for you guys.

So true! The key to success in this endeavor... do not push her too hard or get upset. Just keep planting seeds, one by one. Lots of hotwife porn - but only the stuff that turns 'her' on. Make the fantasy experience of being a hotwife sexy, fun and light-hearted.

 

[thebeginner]

I appreciate your honesty, thank you.

Don't give up hope! I was in the same situation. My wife was not willing to take the plunge in the beginning. Just wanted to roleplay only. There was a point when I had given up all hope, and then one day she said she would be interested in trying. It still took another year before we met the right guy. But here we are and she loves it. The funny thing is, if I asked her to stop now I know she would, be she would be very disappointed. All I can say is just keep up the roleplay in the bedroom. Worst case you guys have a lot of fun sex fantasizing about 'what if'.

 

[Newbiewife]

I

Don't give up hope! I was in the same situation. My wife was not willing to take the plunge in the beginning. Just wanted to roleplay only. There was a point when I had given up all hope, and then one day she said she would be interested in trying. It still took another year before we met the right guy. But here we are and she loves it. The funny thing is, if I asked her to stop now I know she would, be she would be very disappointed. All I can say is just keep up the roleplay in the bedroom. Worst case you guys have a lot of fun sex fantasizing about 'what if'.

I had a talk with my wife with regard to some of the posts here. I told her no matter how much weight she loses or doesn't unless her head is in a bad place nothing will change. I also quoted one poster that unless this happens get used to a sexless life. I hope it sinks in

 

[billbuster41]

Reality is, she will likely never lose enough weight to feel confident / happy (not that she won't lose weight, she'll just always think she needs to lose more) or it will become something else. I think it is more an issue of being out of the dating-market for so long and being afraid to try again and fail.

I know my wife has gained some confidence just from going to the gym, even though it hasn't had very significant results yet.

More so though, I think what will help is to come up with some plan to dress her sexy and put her in a situation where other men can come onto her. Maybe take her to a bar or club and tell her to go have fun and see what happens, leave her for an extended time to "go to the bathroom" or whatever. I think nothing helps spark confidence in women like actual men hitting on them.

Agree. And make sure those men pour it on.