It's never going to happen

[Jjmcnab]

I think i need to accept that fact that my darling wife has zero interest in anything kinky. I use the term kinky because it covers pretty much everything, from light bdsm to cuckolding.
Anyway, my wife is as vanilla as vanilla comes. She doesn't touch herself, never has apparently. She doesn't have fantasies, she doesn't have any desires needs or wants in the bedroom.
Look I get it, we have two kids who take up all our time. She's a work-a-holic, all she does is work. All she talks about is work. All she thinks about is work. If she's not working she's cleaning, always cleaning.
I try to bring up something kinky like, lets try some light restraints, nope no interest at all. I try bringing up things she might like, its not received with interest or curiosity its met with exhaustion, annoyance and frustration. Like its another thing that someone is demanding from her.
She will say things like, you've got to get your head out of your dick and into the real world.

She will say things like, well maybe if you cleaned up after yourself and helped around the house more she'd have the time and headspace to get into that frame of mind. But thats bullshit. I do everything for the kids, feed, clean, cloth, teach, drive them around, do all the washing, make dinner etc etc.
And yes she does a lot around here I am not denying that. But I know without a doubt that I could do 100% of everything and still she'd find a million excuses as to why she doesn't have time to think about or take interest in anything of a sexual nature.

I have hotwife kink, its something i long for. But I know it wont ever happen. So i need to just move on i guess and find something out to think about when i am horny.

I don't know why i'm sharing this, but i am.

 

[YourNewBull]

I suggest counseling. She obviously has something else going on. Yes, she may not want anything other than vanilla sex, but she is also using her work as an excuse to keep distance between you two. Maybe she has some deep seated fears. Maybe she feels like a bad mom. Who knows, but there's something driving this. I don't imagine this was what she was like when you married.
Rather than push her about sex, ask her what's really going on. Ask her why she isnt happy and what you can do to help her. That's the first step. Maybe she will open up. If not suggest she go talk to someone and offer to come along. Tell her you will do the work on yourself if she will help you understand what's going on.

 

[Jjmcnab]

I suggest counseling. She obviously has something else going on. Yes, she may not want anything other than vanilla sex, but she is also using her work as an excuse to keep distance between you two. Maybe she has some deep seated fears. Maybe she feels like a bad mom. Who knows, but there's something driving this. I don't imagine this was what she was like when you married.
Rather than push her about sex, ask her what's really going on. Ask her why she isnt happy and what you can do to help her. That's the first step. Maybe she will open up. If not suggest she go talk to someone and offer to come along. Tell her you will do the work on yourself if she will help you understand what's going on.

Thats some really wise advice, thanks man.

 

[YourNewBull]

Thats some really wise advice, thanks man.

Thank you. I hope you guys get it worked out

 

[Dangelo]

I think i need to accept that fact that my darling wife has zero interest in anything kinky. I use the term kinky because it covers pretty much everything, from light bdsm to cuckolding.
Anyway, my wife is as vanilla as vanilla comes. She doesn't touch herself, never has apparently. She doesn't have fantasies, she doesn't have any desires needs or wants in the bedroom.
Look I get it, we have two kids who take up all our time. She's a work-a-holic, all she does is work. All she talks about is work. All she thinks about is work. If she's not working she's cleaning, always cleaning.
I try to bring up something kinky like, lets try some light restraints, nope no interest at all. I try bringing up things she might like, its not received with interest or curiosity its met with exhaustion, annoyance and frustration. Like its another thing that someone is demanding from her.
She will say things like, you've got to get your head out of your dick and into the real world.

She will say things like, well maybe if you cleaned up after yourself and helped around the house more she'd have the time and headspace to get into that frame of mind. But thats bullshit. I do everything for the kids, feed, clean, cloth, teach, drive them around, do all the washing, make dinner etc etc.
And yes she does a lot around here I am not denying that. But I know without a doubt that I could do 100% of everything and still she'd find a million excuses as to why she doesn't have time to think about or take interest in anything of a sexual nature.

I have hotwife kink, its something i long for. But I know it wont ever happen. So i need to just move on i guess and find something out to think about when i am horny.

I don't know why i'm sharing this, but i am.

Dm me and I can give you some tips and advice

 

[sub2femdom]

I have to ask - was it always that way? Was she more vivacious earlier on? Did things change? Is she maybe having an affair and the keeping busy is part of the ruse? Million questions...

 

[2wheel]

I suggest counseling. She obviously has something else going on. Yes, she may not want anything other than vanilla sex, but she is also using her work as an excuse to keep distance between you two. Maybe she has some deep seated fears. Maybe she feels like a bad mom. Who knows, but there's something driving this. I don't imagine this was what she was like when you married.
Rather than push her about sex, ask her what's really going on. Ask her why she isnt happy and what you can do to help her. That's the first step. Maybe she will open up. If not suggest she go talk to someone and offer to come along. Tell her you will do the work on yourself if she will help you understand what's going on.

My GF of 2 1/2 years is or was vanilla with what I classify as severe intimacy issues. We tried counseling at my suggestion. 3 weeks later she told me she didn't want me anymore. Apparently counseling exposed more of our differences than she realized.

 

[ChubbyGermany]

A tip: when you are horny why NOT jerking and thinking about your wife being somehow seduced and have by another guy 🙂

 

[Desejo de corno]

Thank you for sharing your love life with your wife, I admire your courage, but believe me you are not the only one in this situation, I am also like you. I would love for my wife to be

 

[thebeginner]

Woah, that sucks man. Feel for you. I agree with the previous advice, counseling is likely the best option. No matter the outcome you will be better off. Your current relationship is not a recipe for happiness, or contentment, much less hotwife adventuring. Some serious underlying issues need to be resolved.

Is it possible given her workaholism and her lack of "..interest in anything of a sexual nature" that she might already be getting her 'needs' fulfilled elsewhere?

 

[Memories4Us]

Don’t give up. My wife was as vanilla as yours until I cracked the door open one day while she was at work. Later that night she was flirting with a guy whom a few weeks later said was like a sex texting therapist but with extra benefits.

Pandora’s box opened and she will never be able to go back. She’s turned into a very naughty wife.

 

[coastalkid]

You're not alone! Sex has never been on my wife's list of priorities. It hurts to say it.

 

[Jjmcnab]

Woah, that sucks man. Feel for you. I agree with the previous advice, counseling is likely the best option. No matter the outcome you will be better off. Your current relationship is not a recipe for happiness, or contentment, much less hotwife adventuring. Some serious underlying issues need to be resolved.

Is it possible given her workaholism and her lack of "..interest in anything of a sexual nature" that she might already be getting her 'needs' fulfilled elsewhere?

Its unlikely she is getting her needs fulfilled, not impossible but unlikely.

 

[Jjmcnab]

Thanks everyone for your kind words.
its Valentines day today, and rather than us spending sexy time together she's off to the gym.
We discussed us being intimate, she said she could offer me a quickie as she would be tired from the gym.
I then asked if it was okay if i locked up my cock, she agreed to that. But its not like its something exciting or sexy.

 

[Redman69]

Had something similar. It wasnt until I mentioned that she wouldnt act this way if she had some young guy paying attention to her. She actually agreed and things changed for a while.

 

[Jeanswatcher]

Its a fact of life that most women will not entertain this lifestyle no matter what you want or try.

I suspect you wanting this may well damage your relationship too.

 

[coastalkid]

Thanks everyone for your kind words.
its Valentines day today, and rather than us spending sexy time together she's off to the gym.
We discussed us being intimate, she said she could offer me a quickie as she would be tired from the gym.
I then asked if it was okay if i locked up my cock, she agreed to that. But its not like its something exciting or sexy.

It sounds like you do a little chastity play. You said you asked your wife if you could lock yourself up. Is she not as into it as you are?

 

[Jjmcnab]

It sounds like you do a little chastity play. You said you asked your wife if you could lock yourself up. Is she not as into it as you are?

Its 100% a thing bought up and led by me.
This is how the conversation will go.

Me: Hey babe, can i lock up?
Her: yeah sure, if you want.

There no real zest for chastity. No teasing, no making me sub for her, nothing at all.

 

[Jjmcnab]

Its a fact of life that most women will not entertain this lifestyle no matter what you want or try.

I suspect you wanting this may well damage your relationship too.

I've never bought up the cuckolding/hotwife aspect. Sometimes where we are having sex i will tell her about a sexy dream i had about her fucking another due. But she doesn't really care and is like, oh thats hot. The reaction is more like, oh okay. Followed by silence.

 

[Jjmcnab]

Get her on Hrt. Some hormones can do wonders.

Thats not a terrible idea. I wonder how i can bring that up in a causal conversation.