Is there a way back?

[coastalkid]

I was wondering about that myself before we started down this slippery slope. After about 8 years now, I can tell you without hesitation, that you cannot unfuck someone. Once my wife had sex with other men it was a sealed deal, I was a cuckold. There are subtle changes in our relationship, nothing drastic. However, it will forever change how your wife views you. Whether I like it or not, I am a cuckold and there is nothing I can do about it. So be careful what you wish for.

Maybe I'm misreading you, but it seems like you have some difficult feelings about some aspects of how things have evolved over the last eight years. A lot of times you'll see other cuckolds say it's great, go for it, or they will say be careful what you wish for. The latter makes me think about the unanticipated outcomes that are tough to deal with. Could you share a little about what has been tough on you mentally dealing with you wife viewing you as a cuckold?

I often wonder if this lifestyle runs its course at the same rate for both the wife and husband, like are some husbands "ok, been there done that" while their wives are still digging the new cock(s), new excitement, or the thrill of letting loose?

 

[coastalkid]

I am curious about this. We are a few months in to a situation where my wife started to sex with another man, with my approval of course. I didn't really think it would last this long and I was trying to set up a one time birthday 3 some for her w 2 other men so we thought we had one just need to find another. She could get more used to thigs if she got comfortable with the situation and him. It never made it to the 3some w 2 other men but wife and I and him get together a lot. We are at a crossroads now. She is hanging out with an experienced hotwife who hasn't said it but I think is trying to bring her to the full hotwife status. Which for me/us is the point I think of no return.
Up til now I have more or less maintained my husband monogamy role in sharing her strictly under our boundaries. Yes, she sleeps with another man regularly but with my approval. She is not out clubbing and picking up random men for sex without me there. I feel that could be the tipping point if we haven't already hit it at the moment I asked if she would be willing to ...... with someone for my entertainment and she said yes.

Is this the same "experienced friend" she was with while you were away on business?

One of the things I like about your posts is that you show signs of caution from time to time. You're not always over the top. Sure you have a wild thing going on but you've shared how you're not just going along without your input. You mentioned a couple of times that she has your approval and doesn't do it without it. Is that a boundary that would cause you to question yourself?

Tell me about feeling like you're at a crossroads. Clearly you're thinking about the future.

 

[Phun Times 727]

Great post! I especially agree with the highlighted in red part. Kudos to you both for seeking out therapy to help assuage your concerns about your life, marriage and sex life. You probably needed to see a therapist that deals in non-monogamy, but whatever. The main point is you chose together to go. It shows an investment in your relationship on both of you. I keep going back to your first posts and thinking you were crazy. You have shown me that you have your ...... together better than most.

Thank you but I will say I do not have my ...... together. I did however get lucky several times. First off I married many levels above my grade. I know that. I have a hot woman 10 years younger than I am and very thankful. At the moment I considered sharing her is when I should have gone to a therapist. Its insane I would share this utter jackpot I hit. I did not seek a therapist though. I chose to share her and talked her into it. As to the difficulty, well it wasn't easy but I have had longer discussions over much less important decisons so maybe she had a bit of curious desire there. (therapist spent nearly an entire session of that decision FYI).
It could have gone horribly wrong especially given that I was on the road. Her psycho friend really pissed me off at the time but in hindsight I do see she was looking out for us and really forsing us to reflect on "is this REALLY what you want?" and tried to scare me a bit. The insane part is I didn't stop it and just fly home and go get her, I was so horned up over it all I was not making rational decisions. Her friend did keep her from just hitting the scene hard and being in a dangerous situation. We get together with them (psycho friend and King of all cocks) socially a lot. Things are better now there. I resented him a lot for being rough but having it explained to me that it was meant to make her not want to ...... with other men I am better with it. He still was the frst cock in her vagina other than me in ages and I think about that.
A married woman going out for discreet extramarital sex is going to find a different kind of guy and if no one knows her wherabouts it is dangerous. Thankfully that all worked out. Somehow, and my wife and I joke about this a lot, she got hit on by her target audience, a much younger guy thinking she was his age and she was into him and a vulnerable time. She was a bit hurt thinking I didn't want her or I was trying to set her up with someone because I was cheating and wanted a way out/didn't love heranymore/wasn't turned on by her/general chick stuff. Of course that was not the case. I was just a horny husband looking to have my wife perform live porn for me, really that is what it was and is to this day. I get off on it as much as she does and she is the one having all the sex.
We do have a new twist in that my wife is friends with an experienced hotwife. They have been friends for a few years but just figured out the hotwife common thread so instead of just meeting at bike club and a beer afterward they are chatting a lot. She already told me they will go out together one night but just the 2 women to drink and talk about their new found shard interest. This I am not a fan of. Despite aforementioned decisions my gut is usually right about people and something about this woman gets my guard up. I like what I have and not really looking to dive into full hotwife life.

 

[Phun Times 727]

Is this the same "experienced friend" she was with while you were away on business?

One of the things I like about your posts is that you show signs of caution from time to time. You're not always over the top. Sure you have a wild thing going on but you've shared how you're not just going along without your input. You mentioned a couple of times that she has your approval and doesn't do it without it. Is that a boundary that would cause you to question yourself?

Tell me about feeling like you're at a crossroads. Clearly you're thinking about the future.

Different friend, that was newly divorced psych friend with huge cock boyfriend. This other woman is someone she had ridden bikes with for a few years and just knew her in that way, until she found out what the woman is doing when not on her bike. Yeah, I have caution around this one. I am told I have met her but do not remember her, it was a couple years ago at a Christmas party and I probably met 50 people there so she was not super memorable I guess. I do want to meet her now though based on what my wife has told me about her. Longtime hotwife, she has a stable of bulls she sees, I think husband is around but not sexually active with her much or at all. She goes to local lifestyle places, like all of them and has done a few lifestyle cruises.
This is not where I am looking to go but I have to have trust and faith in my wife.

 

[desert23]

Hello everybody,

I'm new to the scene and me and my wife are starting to experiment with cuckolding. For now, we experimenting with chastity and me pleasing her while being denied myself. Also talking about other men for her, and she is very open to the idea, although we haven't reached that stage jet. At this point, everything turns me on big time. My biggest wish is to be teased and denied further and further, while she finds a true alpha-man who can fuck her. However, sometimes I wonder: what if this happens? Is there a way to turn it back? Could I become "her man" again in the future, like a was in the beginning of our relationship? Or are we driving up a one-way-street?

like to hear your toughts and expierences

No no no you don’t get to turn back. You can try…lol. If and I say if you can successfully turn this around. She will forever doubt you. Don’t even try. Go a different route, make different compromises

 

[coastalkid]

Different friend, that was newly divorced psych friend with huge cock boyfriend. This other woman is someone she had ridden bikes with for a few years and just knew her in that way, until she found out what the woman is doing when not on her bike. Yeah, I have caution around this one. I am told I have met her but do not remember her, it was a couple years ago at a Christmas party and I probably met 50 people there so she was not super memorable I guess. I do want to meet her now though based on what my wife has told me about her. Longtime hotwife, she has a stable of bulls she sees, I think husband is around but not sexually active with her much or at all. She goes to local lifestyle places, like all of them and has done a few lifestyle cruises.
This is not where I am looking to go but I have to have trust and faith in my wife.

It's imperative that you have trust and faith in your wife as well as any feelings that provoke that cautious vibe.

It sounds like you know enough about this "new" friend of your wife's to know she's going to expose your wife to her way of doing things. You said her husband is not sexually active with her much or at all. Knowing how she treats her husband would be a good window into how she might want to influence your wife if that seems likely. I wonder how he feels. Have you talked to your wife about her friends activities like the lifestyle clubs or the cruises? Has your wife seemed envious of her?

I've always thought my wife needed an "influencer", someone that lives outside the vanilla, monogamous world that was her friend and someone she trusts. I still believe that because she hasn't really considered it being a real thing that real people do. She's just not familiar with anyone that she could ask questions or learn from. Someone that could pique her curiosity or at least cause her to think.

In your case your wife is well past that and even though you've intentionally allowed her to enjoy some freedom, she's well past the beginning stage too. It sounds like you have a smart wife, smart enough to know she's enjoying herself with your approval. It seems like it would be natural for her to become more curious about her sexuality and the potential experiences. This "new" friend is the perfect fit for that scenario. This may be too much influence for you. You got too much and I don't have enough!

 

[Pampix]

There are different aspects possible once a a couple had a cuckolding-dynamic. There is a quite différence in psychology and emotions between a wife that cheated on you, a wife that has sex with another man and you knowing and a wife that has sex with another man you that you agree with or even stimulate to. That also changes quite the powerdynamics between the wife and her husband. It is not because the wife does not have a lover for some time or stopped a relationship with her lover e.g. a bad experience (as my girlfriend once had) that your relationship with your wife/girlfriend will be again as before. Onec you were a cuckold she will see you as another man, a man of lower sexual passion/performance eventually but also one that let her have sex with another... what reduces quite the authority of you of reclaiming her sexually... It is what I experienced..

 

[dsmontessori19]

Yes of course there is a way "back" Just discuss the changes you would like made.. assuming shes not a monster.. she would likely at least try the modifications.

 

[Hwcouple702]

Different friend, that was newly divorced psych friend with huge cock boyfriend. This other woman is someone she had ridden bikes with for a few years and just knew her in that way, until she found out what the woman is doing when not on her bike. Yeah, I have caution around this one. I am told I have met her but do not remember her, it was a couple years ago at a Christmas party and I probably met 50 people there so she was not super memorable I guess. I do want to meet her now though based on what my wife has told me about her. Longtime hotwife, she has a stable of bulls she sees, I think husband is around but not sexually active with her much or at all. She goes to local lifestyle places, like all of them and has done a few lifestyle cruises.
This is not where I am looking to go but I have to have trust and faith in my wife.

Your wife doesn't seem like the type that can't stop...for now. The trouble is you don't have sex with her and she wants sex. She has satisfying sex with another man so she's gone that far. If this whole thing requires "seeing a therapist" then it likely isn't for you.

It's quite disturbing that you admittedly want to use your wife as your personal "porn star" and want to be in control of everything related to this venture. This is not going to turn out well. She shouldn't have to feel like everything she is doing sexually must be with your permission and exactly the way you want it. She is quite likely going to become frustrated with this controlling behavior and give up on it. We've seen this many times in the LS.

Why are you so controlling that she can't go out with a girl she's known for some years? Just because this girl is in the LS? It's normal for LS people to surprisingly find another person known to them is in the LS. It's great to catch up, share experiences and seek advice. What is your concern with her spreading her wings in the LS as a hotwife if it turns you on? Single women date all the time in a safe manner. She can keep you apprised of her location and activity easy enough. In fact, the safest way for her to meet other guys is through lifestyle sites and clubs and doing so with another experienced girlfriend is ideal. Guys are pretty highly vetted at quality clubs and sites and especially those with validations from other playmates. Guys in the LS usually know how to behave and to respect boundaries.

Time is wasting for her and having an adventurous sex life is a rare opportunity for most married women and couples.

HW

 

[Phun Times 727]

Your wife doesn't seem like the type that can't stop...for now. The trouble is you don't have sex with her and she wants sex. She has satisfying sex with another man so she's gone that far. If this whole thing requires "seeing a therapist" then it likely isn't for you.

It's quite disturbing that you admittedly want to use your wife as your personal "porn star" and want to be in control of everything related to this venture. This is not going to turn out well. She shouldn't have to feel like everything she is doing sexually must be with your permission and exactly the way you want it. She is quite likely going to become frustrated with this controlling behavior and give up on it. We've seen this many times in the LS.

Why are you so controlling that she can't go out with a girl she's known for some years? Just because this girl is in the LS? It's normal for LS people to surprisingly find another person known to them is in the LS. It's great to catch up, share experiences and seek advice. What is your concern with her spreading her wings in the LS as a hotwife if it turns you on? Single women date all the time in a safe manner. She can keep you apprised of her location and activity easy enough. In fact, the safest way for her to meet other guys is through lifestyle sites and clubs and doing so with another experienced girlfriend is ideal. Guys are pretty highly vetted at quality clubs and sites and especially those with validations from other playmates. Guys in the LS usually know how to behave and to respect boundaries.

Time is wasting for her and having an adventurous sex life is a rare opportunity for most married women and couples.

HW

To clarify I most certainly do have sex with her, in fact likely the same amount we have ever had. When we first started this ongoing MFM we started to have a ton more sex as it was new and hot. We also at the time did not have access to her boyfriend as much as we currently do. I am having the same amount of sex I have always had with her, the difference is we are also having MFM sex and she is having solo sex with him soshe has a huge incrase in the amount of sex she is having. She doesn't seem to being complaining about it either. I never signed up for the hotwife situation. I thought it would be fun to have a one time threesome on her birthday which lead to us in a 3 way relationship with another man. Honestly, I am good with that. It wasn't what I was shooting for but it is pretty damn hot and we have a lot of fun. I was never making her available to have sex with men outside of our relationship other than a one time threesome so winding up at the hotwife doorstep was a road I never really was looking to go down. We are contantly talking about things and keeping communication open. If she wanted to just go out a bit to get hit on and feel that excitement that is cool, I get it. As fas as leaving me home and going out and having sex with random men, we aren't there yet. At least I am not and she really isn't either. In fact she is so commited to this boyfriend at the moment she wouldn't even talk to another guy. If that relationship ended, we may do an occasional hookup, MFM, FMF or just bail on whole thing. Neither of us like rando dates.

 

[Hwcouple702]

To clarify I most certainly do have sex with her, in fact likely the same amount we have ever had. When we forst started this ongoing MFM we started to have a ton more sex as it was new and hot. We also at the time did not have access to her boyfriend as much as we currently do. I am having the same amount of sex I have always had with her, the difference is we are also having MFM sex and she is having solo sex with him soshe has a huge incrase in the amount of sex she is having. She doesn't seem to being complaining about it either. I never signed up for the hotwife situation. I thought it would be fun to have a one time threesome on her birthday which lead to us in a 3 way relationship with another man. Honestly, I am good with that. It wasn't what I was shooting for but it is pretty damn hot and we have a lot of fun. I was never making her available to have sex with men outside of our relationship other than a one time threesome so winding up at the hotwife doorstep was a road I never really was looking to go down. We are contantly talking about things and keeping communication open. If she wanted to just go out a bit to get hit on and feel that excitement that is cool, I get it. As fas as leaving me home and going out and having sex with random men, we aren't there yet. At least I am not and she really isn't either. In fact she is so commited to this boyfriend at the moment she wouldn't even talk to another guy. If that relationship ended, we may do an occasional hookup, MFM, FMF or just bail on whole thing. Neither of us like rando dates.

Sorry, I must have misread or be remembering a response from another guy who had said he was rarely having sex with his wife...

 

[Phun Times 727]

Heck no! I worship this woman and still find her as hot as the day I met her. Our MFM stuff is a tad less me participating lately, been watching a bit more. Just a phase as I am trying to capture more.

 

[cuck52]

NO

 

[Hotwifebee]

No not a chance sorry 😔

 

[desimilf80]

Hello everybody,

I'm new to the scene and me and my wife are starting to experiment with cuckolding. For now, we experimenting with chastity and me pleasing her while being denied myself. Also talking about other men for her, and she is very open to the idea, although we haven't reached that stage jet. At this point, everything turns me on big time. My biggest wish is to be teased and denied further and further, while she finds a true alpha-man who can fuck her. However, sometimes I wonder: what if this happens? Is there a way to turn it back? Could I become "her man" again in the future, like a was in the beginning of our relationship? Or are we driving up a one-way-street?

like to hear your toughts and expierences

Things/relationships change and evolve, I think it would depend on your wife more than you, perhaps you want to discuss an exit strategy with your wife, personally I too have felt and sometimes still feel jealousy, we swap wives with another couple sometimes and she too gets jealous. Initially we had discussed 'no kissing' but it was a show stopper for her, it was a big deal for me, but I relented, and now I enjoy watching her kiss her boyfriends.

 

[Harvey]

Things are never the same, so you have to try your best to ensure that both of you are happy with the new circumstances. To begin with, my wife never told me she was cheating. When I first suspected and asked her she just smiled and giggled: when I pressed her she gave me more details, which turned me on. I love having sex with her after she's fucked others, as well as eating out her just-fucked pussy. When she has a "steady" BF she tells me when they go away or she stays overnight. A few times they have fucked her in our house when I'm there, but she doesn't let me watch. The change is that when my wife fancies someone else she is no longer constrained by concerns about my feelings. She is highly sexed, and I know she cheated on me at least twice before I discovered another one, but now she fucks her BF or others very regularly. I see her flirting with men in clubs or at parties, so I have asked her not to get off with guys in public or in front of me. Despite this she did fuck a guy in his hotel room when I was downstairs at a party. I got really turned when she told me after we'd got home, but I asked her not to do it again. Anyway, we're still together and happy, but I'm concerned I can't control her.

 

[toolman2c]

My experience is that once you are in in the Beta-men category in her eyes it will not change anymore... So be carefull for what you wish for...

Im thinking your eight, and is good advice for those hubs wanting his str8 laced wife To explore, TY for a sensible post.

 

[TreeNerd]

Hello everybody,

I'm new to the scene and me and my wife are starting to experiment with cuckolding. For now, we experimenting with chastity and me pleasing her while being denied myself. Also talking about other men for her, and she is very open to the idea, although we haven't reached that stage jet. At this point, everything turns me on big time. My biggest wish is to be teased and denied further and further, while she finds a true alpha-man who can fuck her. However, sometimes I wonder: what if this happens? Is there a way to turn it back? Could I become "her man" again in the future, like a was in the beginning of our relationship? Or are we driving up a one-way-street?

like to hear your toughts and expierences

The truth is it will never be like before. Once you open the door it’s opened. My wife and I enjoyed it for a while, then she became too engrossed in it, couldn’t function like she had before, her quest was new sex. Sad really because she had other life responsibilities but couldn’t focus on them. I had enough, asked her to stop, to chose me, to get things under control. She said ok. Two weeks later I found she had stopped being a Hotwife and was now a full fledged cheating wife. It lead to the end of our marriage. In hindsight once I opened the door I should have accepted whatever was behind it, I shouldn’t have made her choose. I should have allowed her the freedom she wanted and accepted our sex/relationship on her terms. Her hyper-sexual phase fizzled and she clung to another man, becoming a one man woman again. I didn’t hang in there. I thought I was steering the ship but I never had the wheel. Remember that. She has the control, you abide by her rules,

 

[coastalkid]

The truth is it will never be like before. Once you open the door it’s opened. My wife and I enjoyed it for a while, then she became too engrossed in it, couldn’t function like she had before, her quest was new sex. Sad really because she had other life responsibilities but couldn’t focus on them. I had enough, asked her to stop, to chose me, to get things under control. She said ok. Two weeks later I found she had stopped being a Hotwife and was now a full fledged cheating wife. It lead to the end of our marriage. In hindsight once I opened the door I should have accepted whatever was behind it, I shouldn’t have made her choose. I should have allowed her the freedom she wanted and accepted our sex/relationship on her terms. Her hyper-sexual phase fizzled and she clung to another man, becoming a one man woman again. I didn’t hang in there. I thought I was steering the ship but I never had the wheel. Remember that. She has the control, you abide by her rules,

I get it if you feel like you are to blame partially. Sure you opened the door but ONLY the hot wife door. You were honest about your intentions. It seems like she was the one that didn't have any self control. She became preoccupied. She neglected other responsibilities. She couldn't follow through when she was confronted to choose you and said she would.

I don't think all women are prepared to handle the responsibility of being a hot wife. That freedom thing is a double edged sword. She had the freedom to make things fun and interesting. She also had the freedom to fuck it all up by her words and actions. If you had let her continue to have her freedom and accepted her on her terms do you think things would have settled down?

Did her "hyper-sexual" phase end while you were married? If not, how do you know it ended with another man?

You said, "I thought I was steering the ship but I never had the wheel." makes me think she would have continued to seek more satisfaction for herself and continue to press the boundaries without regard to the implications. Ultimately you couldn't continue with her in control. Her control/rules left you with a mixed experience. She had NO rules to follow and you had ALL her rules to follow.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

I couple that suck cocks together - stay together.