I am a coward

[Japantal]

I am coward.
I have fell in love to the Kristen Archives back in the early days, and I was soon hooked on: from reluctant wifes, slowly growing to loving it, to explicit cuckolding, IR and some other nice extreme niches.

During the last decade, among other things I managed to let my girlfriend know of my BBC oriented porn consumption (nothing extreme mentioned to her), I also showed her periodically, I got her hooked on stretching her pussy, leading up to 4 fingers deep normally, and the occasional finger(s) next to my cock. It. Was. Incredible.
She is not really fond of the race aspect of the porn, and claims that too big cocks are not her thing. I beg to differ.
I also sow some seeds in her mind about a possible threesome, and while originally she meant FFM, I reassured her of my interest in a possible MFM, and occasionally even hinting at MMF. And then it came fruition.

We started having some discussion on opening things up, at least getting our toes wet a bit, but nothing was actively done, except the occasional fantasizing about MFM threesomes.
So all was set up, and then one day, she come home from work, and says that her extremely slutty girlfriend suggest to her that if she is ever going to try having threesome, she should try it without me being present, as to have herself concentrate on her experience for the first time.

I was shocked. Here I am, with the opportunity of a lifetime.
But I backed out. While I still don't know if that slutty girlfriend of hers were seeing through me, and actually wanted to help me fulfill my desires, I felt it was a way too big intrusion into our inner emotions and stuff.
I made a good reasoning to her, and she accepted my points and don't bring the subject up.

Well except that every month she has wild dreams of threesome, sometimes be not even being there.
So here I am, that's me. I am not sure if I want to actively push this forwards, but I have a feeling that I might still have a widow of opportunity open.

Not sure how to move forward, while at the same time cannot stop masturbate.

 

[Japantal]

Forgot to mention that I brought the idea is chastity cages, though only connected to manage my masturbation habit.
Didn't go anywhere, but she is generally open to listen these at least.

 

[adrianaYalbert]

We are able to claim the experience factor since we are for many years in this lifestyle. But to rest your mind at peace.
In our experience it was not really a fantastic turn on for my wife when she decided to take a new lover and all 3 of us went to bed the first time to spend the night.

Many things went wrong in doing so. Mainly for the reason that the other guy had no prior experience with a couple. Sometimes my wife thought he finished, wanted to change partner, but it was just his dick jerking inside her but he didn’t had his climax yet.

Since then, my wife will get intimate with a new lover on her own time. Only whenever she feels that both of them reached a level of comfort she will prepare him mentally for the first threesome.

In other words, the friend of your wife is completely right when she suggested that your wife should be intimate first time without your presence.

On the other hand, you might be surprised seeing your wife and her lover performing in perfect harmony the time you will join them.

 

[Japantal]

I get what you mean.

Here the idea is to meet both of them at the same time, while me being cut off.
Which is extremely arousing for me, beyond belief. At that time, when this discussion took place I got cold feet really quickly.
But now, as she keeps bringing up the threesome topic as dreams, my mind is just racing with the possibilities.

Regarding to your last paragraph, I am not sure. I mean deep down I hope if I would have the guts to move forward with it, then I wouldn't even wanted to see them. What to see from there?
In my mind the escalation goes from _with boyfriend_ to _without boyfriend_.
At which point keeping in chastity and she living out herself would be a dream to live through.