Husband has backtracked

[PrivateEyes]

Hello,
Early 40 year old female, curvy with very high sex drive here. Hubs brought up sharing about a year ago and steadily has made me want to participate. Then suddenly he has shut it down. My drive is far higher than his as I want sex 4-5 times a week and he would be good 2X a month. Plus he has health issues that cause him to not be able to perform. When we do have sex it’s good, but I’m often wanting more. He is uncomfortable with some of my kinkier requests as I have a praise kink AND like to be spanked/submissive. Feels unfair that he has offered this, got me on onboard and now says “I could never go through with it.” Suggestions for moving forward.

 

[firststeps]

Something must have made him bring it up in the first place ? Can you identify that and work on it with him ?

 

[PrivateEyes]

He started by having me recount past experiences I had with men before him when we were having sex, then bought a massive dildo for me to use. He likes for me to tell him how much I enjoyed being stretched and riding another man’s cock. Then he bought me some new clothes, lingerie, and had me go into a bar and sit alone. He would watch while men hit on me. Then he started talking like he wanted me to take a man up on his offer. I was just about there and then last night he says he can’t go through with it. What the hell?!? Maybe he’s just a voyeur, but I had been so against this and now that I’m ready and willing he says no. I’m so hurt and angry right now.

 

[firststeps]

DM'd you.

 

[robbiewillsucku]

you have to tease him - talk smut to him while you suck him and jack his cock.

 

[Teddy Long]

I sent you a pm.

 

[Garrett]

Hello,
Early 40 year old female, curvy with very high sex drive here. Hubs brought up sharing about a year ago and steadily has made me want to participate. Then suddenly he has shut it down. My drive is far higher than his as I want sex 4-5 times a week and he would be good 2X a month. Plus he has health issues that cause him to not be able to perform. When we do have sex it’s good, but I’m often wanting more. He is uncomfortable with some of my kinkier requests as I have a praise kink AND like to be spanked/submissive. Feels unfair that he has offered this, got me on onboard and now says “I could never go through with it.” Suggestions for moving forward.

Trying to make my bbw this way. Any advise? Beside the normal.

 

[firststeps]

Trying to make my bbw this way. Any advise? Beside the normal.

Messaged you.

 

[PrivateEyes]

Trying to make my bbw this way. Any advise? Beside the normal.

It took me a long time to understand why he wanted me to be with someone else and for me to uncover those feelings in myself. My confidence has grown tremendously over the past year and I think that has really contributed. I also discovered some kinks of my own and started to see those played out. See above for the strategies he used to get me more comfortable.

 

[shycuckold]

What does he say when you ask him why he has changes the way he feels? You didn't say what his reasoning is. I hope you have at least asked him about this.

 

[Owned sissy]

I often whine when my wife has plans with hot men. Usually she'll approach me, grab and squeeze my balls while asking me who the boss is until I submit and acknowledge she is. She'll then make me thank her for cheating on me and if I'm good let me pick out her bra and panties for her next date. This has me permanently craving her, she knows it and I know it.

 

[coastalkid]

He has to be scared. I’m sure the mismatch between your sex drive and his combined with your change in attitude towards the original idea of being shared has him caught in a “called bluff” moment. My guess is that his ability to “perform” has caused him to consider his value in your relationship.

I’m older now and I don’t “perform“ like I used to. I have wanted my wife to expand her sexuality. My biggest fear is that I would become irrelevant to her sexually. A more potent, dynamic lover might be the thing that revolutionizes my wife’s sex life/drive while simultaneously destroying what little confidence I have left. I would be relying on my wife to help me past my insecurities.

I don’t blame you for being upset. He wasn’t prepared for your willingness to give it a try.

 

[charisma1986]

i think he probably wants this but is scared to lose you. sounds like he has made the textbook approach to making it happen but its a shame youre on board and hes letting you down now, maybe he really wants it but he thought it would take a lot more convincing and now hes caught off guard because youre ready earlier than he expected. you two have some more talking to do by the sounds of things, i think this could work out for the best with a little work from you both. i wish my wife had got to the stage youre at.

 

[Garrett]

It took me a long time to understand why he wanted me to be with someone else and for me to uncover those feelings in myself. My confidence has grown tremendously over the past year and I think that has really contributed. I also discovered some kinks of my own and started to see those played out. See above for the strategies he used to get me more comforta

Hello,
Early 40 year old female, curvy with very high sex drive here. Hubs brought up sharing about a year ago and steadily has made me want to participate. Then suddenly he has shut it down. My drive is far higher than his as I want sex 4-5 times a week and he would be good 2X a month. Plus he has health issues that cause him to not be able to perform. When we do have sex it’s good, but I’m often wanting more. He is uncomfortable with some of my kinkier requests as I have a praise kink AND like to be spanked/submissive. Feels unfair that he has offered this, got me on onboard and now says “I could never go through with it.” Suggestions for moving forward.

Go out and get pounded and bring him home the creampie. He is a cuck, this is how he works

 

[realtx91]

It's a shame he's backing down. You sound like you really need some fun 😏

 

[2wheel]

i think he probably wants this but is scared to lose you.

1st rule of this lifestyle is "preserve the primary relationship".

You need to assure him any other man is just for sex. That he is secure as your man.

 

[coastalkid]

It took me a long time to understand why he wanted me to be with someone else and for me to uncover those feelings in myself. My confidence has grown tremendously over the past year and I think that has really contributed. I also discovered some kinks of my own and started to see those played out. See above for the strategies he used to get me more comfortable.

Any updates? Are you still upset with your husband?

 

[jw_kk]

She who owns the pussy makes the rules. If he's reluctant, it's on him - you should explore your desires, and satisfy your needs. He'll come around to it, once he understands who is in control of the situation.

 

[Hamster]

Myself and my wife keep back tracking with this lifestyle, yet we can't escape the appeal of it

 

[dickhurtz]

He has to be scared. I’m sure the mismatch between your sex drive and his combined with your change in attitude towards the original idea of being shared has him caught in a “called bluff” moment. My guess is that his ability to “perform” has caused him to consider his value in your relationship.

I’m older now and I don’t “perform“ like I used to. I have wanted my wife to expand her sexuality. My biggest fear is that I would become irrelevant to her sexually. A more potent, dynamic lover might be the thing that revolutionizes my wife’s sex life/drive while simultaneously destroying what little confidence I have left. I would be relying on my wife to help me past my insecurities.

I don’t blame you for being upset. He wasn’t prepared for your willingness to give it a try.

i agree, this is part of it. the rest is that he is worried that you will like it so much that you will leave him for your lover.

if he feels insecure & intimidated he will never agree to move forward.

what is the status of your marriage? how old are you both? are there offsprings involved?

it's really unfortunate when married folks are at odds with what they think, regardless of the subject.

you need to find out what prompted him to suggest sharing(i hate that word) you in the first place.

if you can't come to an, acceptable, agreement, you have two choices; continue being frustrated & angry, or branch out on your own & take your chances.

good luck. i wish you, both, well.