I will never forget the first time I actually watched KK having full-on sex with another guy.
I was simultaneously physically ill; nauseous, wobbly, feeling like I would pass out, my heart pounding, a body-wide burning sensation, combined with an iron-hard erection, an ache in my balls, and a feeling of total lust. I had a spontaneous orgasm, ejaculating in my boxers watching KK go at it with a stranger she’d picked up in the hotel lounge.
Even though I’d fantasized about it for years, nothing prepared me for the savage reality of watching KK kissing, fondling, being touched by, and fucking another man. The conflict of jealousy and the intensity of erotic lust is indelible in my mind.
For weeks after that first real experience, I couldn’t think of anything else, and suffered anxiety, lust and inexplicable emotions, wanting her to do it again, but not wanting it, emotional conflict and fascination over seeing KK give herself to another man.
More than a decade later, after watching her with countless men, those feelings still persist.