Critical Point - any help appreciated

My wife and I have been together for over a decade, middle aged, in good shape/good looking and have a good sex life (would be great but we had kids and though I love them with all my heart, they crush your sex life).

My wife is 5’3 blonde, with DD breasts and she is fun but we struggled with some stuff early on bc she said she just gets along with guys so much better than girls. She had friends that were guys that she had slept with and acted like it should have been fine. She is also fairly demeaning to me and emasculating. She asked me this weekend when we spoke when she does that? I said you signed us up for Netflix and picked a picture of a monkey face for me and a tiger for you. She laughed and said I almost put the monkey face for me though. I said but you didn’t.

The behavior and wondering if she is cheating over the years brought me to a place for I masturbated thinking of her cheating with this jacked neighbor. It took many years before bringing this up to her and I think it was a surprise bc I am usually more jealous and protective/masculine. I explained that thinking like this came over the course of a decade and reinforced with masturbating. I have brought up cuckolding a few times over the past few years. I even asked if she wanted to have a threesome with another guy which didn’t go very well. I didn’t have a guy in mind which she asked me over and over again. Our talks have gotten better but never progressed to discussed her doing anything.

Over the weekend I asked her if we could fantasize in the bedroom and she said well you know you brought this up before and we had a big argument. She said I know you did a bunch of research and jerked off to this before asking me. She was alluding to the fact that she thinks I want a threesome again but honestly I am only really ready to fantasize together. As we talked, she said what would happen if I got pregnant. When I tried to address that, she said of everything I said that’s what you want to address? I said yeah. I said why are you worried about getting pregnant, we are talking about us just fantasizing in bed. By this time it was 2 am and we had plans in the morning, so we talked but didn’t really address it further.

Of all the talking we have done, this feels like the best chance I’ve ever had for a breakthrough and we are supposed to go over this stuff tonight.

I added the conversation we had over text today but it doesn’t give you much from her bc she works in a place where she can’t really text.

I am thinking of asking jer to tell me a dirty story from her past or something and hold my dick while she tells me. That will let her know that it actually turns me on.
Want to try something?
 
If her period is due in a week, a discharge like this would be expected if she ir fertile............. J (the wife)
You’re assuming you understand my wife’s cycle. I have lived with her for over a decade trying to figure it out with her bc it’s not always a normal cycle. I fully understand your comment but it definitely lack clarity and is filled with judgement.
 
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I am beginning to understand why most guys remain unable to participapatr in thsi lifestyle. Whomever is writng this has NO understanding of how women work physioligucally at all. Amazing. Sorry, can;t help but comment ont this. J (the wife)
Again, lots of judgement, this is why blah blah blah.

If you want to offer solid positive advice, go for it. I am hear to listen and converse but why just come after me like you know my wife’s cycle or how her body works. We literally track her cycle with an app and have been trying to figure out her mood swings and body swings. She has cysts and severe back pain which she has gotten mri’s for and the is currently undergoing tests to understand if something is wrong with one ovary.
 
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Wife and I were away for a weekend.

We actually had a great conversation and she said that even though she had slept with many men, it wasn’t like she felt comfortable or knew what she was doing so as I asked for things, she said she felt like a prude. Instead of us talking thru it, she put her feet down and just pushed thru sex. She didn’t enjoy it and didn’t want too. Over the past few years doing a lot of work that changed. It was awesome and the conversation turned her on.

Again we started with just me but moved to using the sleeve which she now says she is comfortable with…we had some really hot sex high as ...... but the next day we had probably the best sex of our lives. She let me play with her pussy for 10 minutes before I slid the sleeve inside her without me in it. She was bent over so I pumped that into her while I rubbed her entire pussy/clit. Eventually we had sex in every position until I came and couldn’t fuck anymore. It was just incredible.

Not only does she want the sleeve, I think she is on the same page. I wonder how long until she starts commenting about how that’s what she wants and it’s so much better. She is still on the whole; they both feel good…should be done soon. She is getting confortable.
 
Wife and I were away for a weekend.

We actually had a great conversation and she said that even though she had slept with many men, it wasn’t like she felt comfortable or knew what she was doing so as I asked for things, she said she felt like a prude. Instead of us talking thru it, she put her feet down and just pushed thru sex. She didn’t enjoy it and didn’t want too. Over the past few years doing a lot of work that changed. It was awesome and the conversation turned her on.

Again we started with just me but moved to using the sleeve which she now says she is comfortable with…we had some really hot sex high as ...... but the next day we had probably the best sex of our lives. She let me play with her pussy for 10 minutes before I slid the sleeve inside her without me in it. She was bent over so I pumped that into her while I rubbed her entire pussy/clit. Eventually we had sex in every position until I came and couldn’t fuck anymore. It was just incredible.

Not only does she want the sleeve, I think she is on the same page. I wonder how long until she starts commenting about how that’s what she wants and it’s so much better. She is still on the whole; they both feel good…should be done soon. She is getting confortable.
Love the post and progress it sounds like you’re making. Mine is the same says she likes the sleeve but still prefers me (the real thing). Something tells me if she felt a real 9 incher inside her she’d love it but the biggest hurdle I’ve come to understand is getting herself out of her own way. Sounds like enjoying the progress and journey like I am. Good luck and keep us posted on any updates if you make any further progress and I’ll do the same.
 
Love the post and progress it sounds like you’re making. Mine is the same says she likes the sleeve but still prefers me (the real thing). Something tells me if she felt a real 9 incher inside her she’d love it but the biggest hurdle I’ve come to understand is getting herself out of her own way. Sounds like enjoying the progress and journey like I am. Good luck and keep us posted on any updates if you make any further progress and I’ll do the same.
Thanks for the sentiment. It’s interesting hearing some people experiencing the same.

We had a great conversation and when we had sex, she was soaking wet. She was slightly embarrassed and said I think talking about it got me in the mood. That was just talking about sex in our relationship and being more open so I can’t imagine what it will be like when she finally discussed sexual fantasies.
 
This morning started out nicely. I started massaging my wife (which I think is key to getting a lot of women in the mood) and eventually started massaging her lips. When she is laying on her stomach still, I take my oiled hands and run my threes middle fingers from the her clit up through her lips and feel her opening. My middle finger will slide through the edge of her sex slightly opening while he other two fingers are on each side of labia. I do this until I feel her clit swell up, she starts to moan and I can feel her pussy slowly opening up more each time my finger slide over it.

During this time, I am on my knees rubbing her, so I leave the sleeve head on my calf. My hamstring is on top of it so it’s literally covered by my leg. The head is behind my knee cap. After a few minutes of massaging her, the sleeve is body temp ready.

At this point she has been raising her ass up and slowly start rubbing the sleeve head over her pussy lips instead of my fingers. During this I try to rub oil on the sleeve so it’s nice and slick. Finally I slowly push the head against her sex. When I start doing this, I don’t thrust it in, I just do little bumps. At the same time I start rubbing my hands over her clit and the surrounding area.

Pretty quickly the sleeve slides in and slowly pump it in and out while I run her clit. I do this for a minute or two and then I put the sleeve on and slide inside her. Maybe it was after using it twice this weekend for long periods of time, the warmup or just her coming into her ovulating time, but she couldn’t get enough. After 20 minutes I took it out and moved to the left. I was running my hands over her pussy and said do you like the way this fills you up and she said yes but with a desperation in her voice. It was the sound you wish she made for your own dick but never will. Then she started moving her ass over as if her body just needed it. I got behind her and she moaned as I put it back in and she took all of it. She started pushing her self back onto it just fucking the ...... out of this huge dick and moaning over and over.

During this I felt her pussy completely loosen and get incredibly wet. I asked her what that was after and she said she didn’t know. It was really hot and interesting.

After we finished, I asked her if she liked that we used it so much and if it was okay. She said yeah very quickly. 😂 then I asked if it felt good and if it was stretching her out. She said it doesn’t stretch her out. So I said, it’s like it hits all your nerve endings then…she said yeah, she said sometimes when I go deep in the beginning it hurts but after a while she said it feels so good and she wants it deep.

It’s like this huge dick is the perfect and I feel like she likes it doggy style more than missionary. I feel like with the big dick she likes to feel dominated. I wonder if some part of her is thinking about another guy.

She told me over the weekend that in the beginning it was weird bc it didn’t feel like me, but now it’s fine. I was thinking, well you could just open your eyes and I am there, but who knows.

Interesting stuff.
 
I was doing some "learning" today and am going to try something different. I am not going to give my wife the sleeve unless she asks for it. I think the build up and the desire will enhance the actual activity. Any thoughts?
It does for my wife. One day I started eating my wife's pussy and just kept going until she told me she wanted Bob (the name she gave her dildo) to fuck her. Now every time we role play she tells me to eat her pussy and get her ready for Bob.
 
It does for my wife. One day I started eating my wife's pussy and just kept going until she told me she wanted Bob (the name she gave her dildo) to fuck her. Now every time we role play she tells me to eat her pussy and get her ready for Bob.
Nice!

For now my wife calls the sleeve “big dick daddy”.

Do you think that’s a good name or should I tell her we need a better name.