My ex taught me to eat my own cum and then edged me on to exploring my bi side. Same as you, I would feel ashamed of myself, as if the whole world would be able to see it written all over my face. But she comforted me and told me that I had more courage than most men. That she was proud of me. That soon gave me a 2nd hard on and off we were again: exploring my anus with an even larger dildo.
Years later, I did suck a guy on an occassional basis. I did feel like a proud and complete girl whenever he ejaculated into my mouth. Still hoping to one day give a man the pleasure of dumping his cum up my ass.