I don’t know if I’m imagining things or not but my wife and haven’t been intimate for around 3 months now and I believe she has cheated before in another relationship - she has told me ‘ she knows all the ways not to be found out ‘. So for her to say that confirms it for me . Anyway she seems to be out shopping etc which is not unusual at Xmas time but she seems to be away for hours and hours - on the odd occasion I’ve called her mobile and she’s supposed to be at the mall - but when she answers it’s silent in the background - you know that dull echo you get - also she got a bit agitated last weekend when I dropped her off for her car and she left her mobile in mines - sort of concerned maybe she’d get a call or text and I’d see it . About 15 minutes ago I called her - again at the mall - she picked up but was very matter of fact on the phone - almost like there was someone else with her and she didn’t want them to know or hear she was in fact talking to her husband ! . You know when you know somethings just not right -. I text her and asked her was someone there but just said she was in a shop but again no background noise of other shoppers ? . Trouble is she knows full well that I’d like to share her but she is concerned about what if other people find out etc . So what do you guys and girls think - if I ask / confront her it will be be denied and I’ll be the bad guy again . I’m deaf / blind / dumb hubby again trying to get some concrete evidence about this - any ideas ?? - sorry it’s so long also
Am I right ??
- Thread starter Snoopsissy
- Start date
Seems like a tough spot to be in. It seems pretty bold of her to say, "She knows all the ways NOT to be found out." I wonder what she thought when she said that? Did she think that providing that tidbit would make you stop being curious? What prompted you to "believe" she had cheated in previous relationship (was that with a previous bf?
If you suspect that she will just deny it if you confront her it may be best to just keep up the random calls. Just randomly call and tell her (leave a voice message if she doesn't answer) that you were thinking about her and that you hope she's having a good day.
The phone thing adds another layer of anxiety. Is she protective of her phone when she's at home, does she keep it near her at all times? Do you see her spending much time texting? If you do notice her texting at home while you're together get your phone and text her when she does. Send something like, "I love you, you're always on my mind babe!"
At a minimum she will know that she has your attention. It may prompt her to step up her secrecy that will be more obvious to you.
If you suspect that she will just deny it if you confront her it may be best to just keep up the random calls. Just randomly call and tell her (leave a voice message if she doesn't answer) that you were thinking about her and that you hope she's having a good day.
The phone thing adds another layer of anxiety. Is she protective of her phone when she's at home, does she keep it near her at all times? Do you see her spending much time texting? If you do notice her texting at home while you're together get your phone and text her when she does. Send something like, "I love you, you're always on my mind babe!"
At a minimum she will know that she has your attention. It may prompt her to step up her secrecy that will be more obvious to you.
- almost like there was someone else with her and she didn’t want them to know or hear she was in fact talking to her husband ! .
It seems she isn't very fond of the idea to show others that she is talking or corresponding you (the husband).
And that alone doesn't necessarily means your wife is hand-in-hand with another man cheating you. But it might shows she doesn't want you around while she is talking or having good time with friends.
Are you both in a hard or rocky time during the relationship?
She may very well NOT be cheating. If she isn't cheating then there is something else going on with her. It could be something that doesn't amount to anything or it could be something worse than cheating, as in she's tired of his ....... The holiday season always brings along an extra set of stresses, add that to some "pre-diagnosed" stresses and it could bring on a perceived tipping point. Some how they need to sit down discuss this whole situation especially if they are experiencing a "rocky time".
if she cannot be reached by phone, it does not necessarily mean that she is cheating. must look for other signs as well. have there been any other changes in her behavior. for example, if before he used to take a shower before going to ......, now he washes right after she gets home. has she bought herself some new sexy lingerie lately? etc. then you can draw conclusions
Yes we are - seems we are two different types of people - had a talk through last night - seems our sex drives are totally different - I am 65 my wife is 61 and still very sexy / attractive . I like feminine women heels etc . I’ve bought her about 6 pairs with matching handbags but was told that she didn’t ask me to buy them etc that’s a typical response from her . During the conversation she must have said ‘ at my time of life ‘ about 10 times - she is happy for a kiss and cuddle in bed and to use the vibrator ( yes because she cums hard with it - again my idea for HER pleasure - her response before she tried it - no one uses them and they do nothing ) but nothing else . I think she is very selfish and a complete fucking narcissist . I pay for everything in the house , pay for Christmas . We have had many issues and thought things would be better when her 30 year old ...... moved out - she caused many issues when she lived in my home but seems like now she is settled her job in life is done and I’m just here to pay the bills - absolutely devastated - I am a kinky guy and seems like my sex life is being shut down . I do love my wife but she has a very blinkered view on things , it’s her way or no way and don’t know where to go now as she won’t go to a therapist but I NEED TO because I want to still have an active kinky sex life or as she puts it - I’m a dirty old man and you need to talk to someone .
You may just have to accept that at 61 your wife's view on sex has changed lots of females at 61 no longer require sex in their lives and are happy to just kiss and cuddle ,
Maybe there is an underlying health problem she hasn't shared with you like the change in life a woman's desire for sex reduces,
The question is do you still love your wife enough to put her needs above yours ,
If she is saying at my time of life repeatedly maybe that's her way of saying she no longer require sex in her life and you may just have to put up with it,
It's not all about us the men it's also about the females in our lives and their needs,
Just saying, 👍
Yes I totally understand and thank you for your words . My wife’s life is her family and now her last ...... is away I think that might have a bearing too - she is faced with the reality of being stuck with me - I often think that , she has never been intimate like I feel she should and feel she often compares me with her husband of 24 years who left her for another , younger woman . An example - he never once asked her to wear stockings and high heels , never asked her to try anything different / sexy / kinky whatever . They just kissed / cuddled and it happened from there . That’s all well and good but then I find out she was fucking her sisters fiancé behind her back and was being fucked after hours by her boss at work who was also engaged and also cheated on her last partner with a work colleague so the halo slips a lot there . The stepdaughter was a continuous battle when she lived with us and just feel now she has moved out she cannot fill that void with me and that fucking hurts so much .
Her fucking her sisters fiance and her boss can I understand this was before you and her got together and not while you were with her ?
Does she still work with the same work colleague ,?
My wife and I are both a lot younger than you and your wife,both 38,
But when she was having sex with a work colleague our sex life went up not down because I think her sex drive went into overdrive as in the more sex she got the more she wanted,
This I'm sure is not the same for all females but it was for us I have known frends when their wife was cheating on them the sex between them dropped to nothing or near nothing as the wife was getting better sex elsewhere ,
In your case I don't think that is true I think her sex drive has just got less with age,
Of course I could be wrong I'm no expert in human relations,
But I wish you all the best .👍
No this was before - the longer we have been together the more prudish she gets - I can’t work it out and don’t think it has anything really to do with age - just can’t figure it or her out really it’s almost like she doesn’t want to admit to herself that she could try anything ‘ different ‘ or whatever but many thanks for your input 😀
I'm still stuck at her revealing, "She knows all the ways NOT to be found out." I almost sounds like she was being spiteful when she said it. I may be reading more into it then how it sounds.
I wonder what she thought when she said that? Did she think that providing that tidbit would make you stop being curious? What prompted you to "believe" she had cheated in previous relationship (was that with a previous bf?
I wonder what she thought when she said that? Did she think that providing that tidbit would make you stop being curious? What prompted you to "believe" she had cheated in previous relationship (was that with a previous bf?
Just a point, my wife's ...... went of sex completely at 60, it was like she just turned a switch of and denied my wifes father any more sex I know because after a few drinks in the pub one night he told me,
It didn't mean so much to him as he was having a few problems of his own because of the meds he was taking,
My mom on the other hand who has cheated on my father by many different men went sex mad when she reached 60, she was always a very highly sexed woman I have three sisters and then me a and it has always been a silent joke in the family that we are not all from the same guy,lol
So I guess it's not the same for all females, mom still boyfriends and a ongoing sex life dad gets his share and doesn't mind sharing mom with others as she always comes home,
My wifes mom and dad seem happy doing it their way neither of them have a high sex drive now maybe they never really did as my wife is a single ...... with an adaptive brother so no sex was needed for him they just had to pick him up and bring him home,lol
But he is my wifes brother even if he is not biological her brother,
Just my thoughts on this subject, 👍
I’m not sure - she likes to tell me little nuggets like that - well this is a two part one - she told me the guy she was in her last relationship with and her used to have sex in all the rooms in the house night or day - so quite a few times I’ve asked her if she wanted some fun time but was told - she didn’t now like doing it during the day or even if it was a bit light ??? . 2nd part is I know for a fact she cheated on her last guy as I heard a conversation between my wife and the guy she cheated with . My wife told him that she had informed me she had split from her guy when she was seeing the cheater on the phone . If the cheater wasn’t seeing her at that time why would it matter to the cheater what she had told me ?? . She has since said sex isn’t important to her but she still wants to use her vibrator - in other words I’ve to get fuck all but she still wants pleasured - so I’ve fucking hid them ha ha ha
Yes I’m sure no two women are the same but it’s her double standards and selfish attitude that bothers me . As I’ve stated in another post she has said sex isn’t important to her now - to be honest it never has been but she still wants to use her vibrator because quote - she likes that - notice the she ! . So I hid them . I’ve always had a high ish sex drive and quite open minded and kinky . My wife is open minded about stuff as long as I’m not in the equation - then she goes full fucking ...... superior on me . She says she has never been interested in anything kinky or trying anything . None of her other partners ever asked her to try stuff blah blah blah and she makes out I’m the dirtiest bastard that’s walked this earth - normal guys don’t look at porn etc etc . - I said normal women don’t fuck there sisters fiancés or there engaged to be married bosses either but seemingly that’s doesn’t count - double standards 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well her giving you some sex is better than nothing, 👍she is giving you some sex I hope, 😜
I know right - if I’m getting nowt - neither is she and I’ve been told she has never played with herself or used toys - in fact no one uses vibrators and they don’t do anything anyways . So I got her one to try - she cums hard with it and now she has fucking five of them !!!. Anyway when I’m at work and she’s wanting to cum she is in for a fucking fright ha ha .
Ha ha no - nothing and seemingly the latest bombshell was that she will never ask me for it or especially make the first move and that got me thinking - so exactly what thefuck do I need YOU for ?
mate that is hard, I have to say what the hell good is she to you, she must be a great cook or something to make you stay with dried up women,
But maybe I'm being harsh she must be good at something,?👍
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