Advice please

[ExploringCouple]

Wow, your wife is telling you in every way possible that she has made the decision that she wants to play. She is telling you everything you "want" to hear because she wants you to be comfortable with the situation and she wants you to let her play with other guys. Everything in your post has been "I" "Me" "I want" "I'm worried" "I want to fuck other women", etc. This isn't possibly about your wife. It's about you. So if you want her to simply be happy with what she has with you while you fuck other women then you really have no interest in her pleasure. Of course you're not "the best sex ever" or anything like it. Neither is any other guy. The whole idea of this is about adding pleasure and finding better sex....and that can mean many things. It certainly doesn't mean she's going to be happy with a hot guy massaging her and getting her worked up, maybe she gets to touch his cock and then he gets blue balls and you get to fuck her.

In all honesty, you need to assure her that you want her pleasure to be maximized and that is how she you can show your love for her. You're not showing it by getting her involved in a bit of the lifestyle that simply suits your desires. Why would you feel somehow inadequate because another guy pleasures her in an entirely different and more intense way than you do? That's the ENTIRE idea of hotwifing and the lifestyle. It's very selfish of you to encourage on one hand and then limit her to basically nothing on the other.

There is so much pleasure for her to discover out there because of her limited experience. She's trying to tell you in the most unthreatening way possible that she wants to explore it. Of course it's going to be perhaps painful for you and certainly you will have feelings of jealousy when she begins having the sex that she already desires with other men. On the other hand, if you are present, there is nothing more gratifying than that look on your wife's face, the sounds she makes, the way she moves her body when she's experiencing a kind of pleasure that other men can give her. Honestly, you might consider having a discussion with her about hotwifing, giving her your permission to explore on her own if she wants and then just getting out of the way. The freedom she has to explore and play with other men can lead to amazing experiences for you both. You could also just assure her during your next session with another guy that you support her and then get out of the way and watch her play. Kissing is a fundamental part of caring hotwifing. If she sucks another guy's cock and another guy eats her pussy, then kissing is the least of your worries. Let her have a beautiful, passionate, sexual experience in whatever way her and her partner agree upon. This isn't to say that your thoughts are unusual for newbies in the LS, quite the contrary. These are normal feelings. Getting over them or getting out of the LS is the decision. If you keep frustrating her or worse, do the split personality thing with her then this will end badly. Never get angry with her about ANY of this, including kissing. Once she's had enough gaslighting then she will be finished for good...or perhaps (since she clearly already wants to experience sex with other men) she will just do so on the side without your knowledge. Ask us questions if you want. We can probably help.

HW

This post is unhinged. You make a LOT of assumptions. You clearly don't understand the situation and can't relate. I'm glad that you're happy with what you're doing. But your advice is horrible. I should feel pain and suffer in silence while I let my wife go out with other men? I should sit at home feeling unwanted and excluded while she's out without me getting fucked? Lol, no. I will not take any of the advice you've provided because it's toxic. It's toxic because you have a predetermined outcome regardless of our situation. My wife has no desire to be a hotwife. Your response is all just assumptions, and they're wrong.

 

[ExploringCouple]

I have been in the lifestyle for nearly 30 years so I think I have had some experience. I think you are worrying too much. If you and your wife love each other and just want to enhance your sex life by introducing others just do it. It is only natural for women to feel extra sexy and experience more intense orgasms if two men are stimulating them. Relax and go for it

I can get down with this advice. It does make sense. I think about how I'd feel with two girls 🤤. I just don't want to ever feel like she likes them more. I'm good with being voltron and coming together with him to give her a mind blowing experience. I just don't want to sit on the sidelines. I don't want the one I love to think the other guy is better than me sexually.

 

[2wheel]

I'm not worried about our marriage. We are deeply in love with each other. And for us I know my wife wouldn't enjoy it if she knew it caused me pain. I also don't let her kiss the guy we play with. That's an act of love and reserved for me. There's passionate emotion attached to it. I spoke to her again this morning after sex. She told me again that no other guy can compare and I will always be her best sex and most satisfying orgasm. It's confusing because I love her and I want to believe her so bad. But then there's people telling me that she's going to get off better and enjoy sex with other guys more than with me, it's inevitable. I'm not sure what to believe. I think it's different for different people. I don't know.

Alrighty then.

An old Yiddish proverb: "Man plans and God laughs"

Fasten your seat belt, hold on tight and hope the ride ends as it started. Many have some haven't. For us things were different at #100 then they were at #1.

 

[ExploringCouple]

Yeah, really whatever makes both of you more comfortable, otherwise i think it would just hurt you guys more than anything else

Do you believe that it's a foregone conclusion that if I start sharing her that she will eventually find other men that she likes to have sex with more than me?

Are you turned on by that idea?

 

[ExploringCouple]

Alrighty then.

An old Yiddish proverb: "Man plans and God laughs"

Fasten your seat belt, hold on tight and hope the ride ends as it started. Many have some haven't. For us things were different at #100 then they were at #1.

Interesting. What's your dynamic and in what ways did your views and feelings change?

 

[whiskeytrot]

Hello, my wife and I recently started to dip our toes into this kind of stuff. We've had 2 encounters with a guy we found and vetted for literally months. He's a good guy, respectful. We're starting slow and taking baby steps.... Nobody wants to get hurt or feel like they hurt someone.

When we play, I'm in charge of what happens. I have sex with my wife and use the other guy as a second set of hands to help me pleasure her. I have him feel her body, squeeze her tits, spank her, insert her plug, use dildos on her, etc. She loves it and gets extremely orgasmic. It's fun! Last time I felt brave enough to let her play with his cock at various points during the fun. However, when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress. Is this normal?

I have a huge fear that if the other guy is bigger than me, has a better body, stuff like that, that she will have better orgasms with him than she does with me and she might consider him to be better than me sexually. I love my wife deeply and I want to be nothing less than number one in all areas for her. That is our current situation right now. I am in wedded bliss.

I brought my concerns to her and she said I am worrying about nothing, because she knows that I will always be her best sexual experience and her best orgasm. It warms my heart to hear her say that, but I have trouble accepting it because she has almost no sexual experience outside of me. She had sex with one guy one time before we got together. So I fear she may not really know what she's talking about.

I'm happy to show her a good time and introduce a little variety and new sexual experiences, I just don't want her to prefer those experiences over her sexual experience with me. I feel that this is a very basic desire for a husband that truly loves his wife. So my long-winded question is basically, for those with experience, is my wife correct? If I could truly accept that I would always be number one sexually to her then it would give me a massive amount of confidence to press forward. But if there is a chance that she could prefer sex with another guy or think he's better than me in bed then I'm not so sure this is something we should be doing. If that happened, my masculinity would be shattered and my confidence would completely evaporate. I would not feel like a man anymore.

Apologies for the long post and any advice would be appreciated thank you!

Edit: I forgot to mention a couple things that might be relevant. My biggest opposition and source of anxiety is the thought of being on the sidelines while the other guy takes her one on one. If I'm still intimately involved then I feel less scared of it because I'm still helping to give her those orgasms.

The whole reason for us doing this is to throw gasoline on our already hot sex life. I thought I would be really turned on seeing her do stuff with another guy. And I am! But what I've discovered is that my biggest source of pleasure comes from how hot and horny she gets in those situations, not necessarily her doing stuff with the other guy. I can give her so many intense orgasms because she is already highly aroused due to the kinky nature of our situation. It makes me feel like a God among men when I'm giving her massive orgasms back to back to back, etc. We want to keep the focus of our play on each other. The goal is the enhance the already great sex we have together, not to find "better" sex with someone else. We're laser focused on each other as we do this.

An interesting read. Find 100 'Cucks' on here and you will find 100 different dynamics. My wife and I have been in this sort of LS for 30 years. I don’t really see myself as a Cuckold, in the true sense. We started swinging first to enhance our love life. The first moment the other guy started fucking my wife, and he did pound her, completely mesmerised me. She was grunting loudly with every thrust. Next day, I was full of doubt and thought I'd done the wrong thing. Was he better than me. I discussed it with my wife and she laughed and told me not to be silly.
Then a few days later when I'd come to terms with it, I realised that I really enjoyed it and found our relationship more solid. I loved my wife even more for trying it.
The fact that your wife sees you as the best is because she is in love with you and the other guy can never give her that. But that's not what she wants. Another guy entered into the relationship is really no more than a very sophisticated dildo and should never be seen otherwise. If you're seeing every guy as some sort of threat, then you need to think hard about your next step. A good husband is so much more than just sex. But if you can find great thrill from a third person, then you have more than the next guy. There will always be a guy with a bigger cock, or more staying power. That shouldn't be seen as a problem but something more desirable.
As one reply has said, it seems too much about you and possibly not enough about your wife. If she would like to go to the next step, then if you really love her, you will seriously consider it. We've never played without me being present and participating. But that's just our way and brought us great pleasure. Your declaration of love for each other tells me that there is minimal risk for you to go to the next level. We're still together just the same after lots of playing.

 

[Scrambled]

Thank you for the insightful reply. I understand what you're saying. The comparing aspect is what is paralyzing me from going further. I want to be compared.... And I want to be best in her eyes. That's risky (not according to her though 🙄). Honestly we aren't looking to make her a hotwife. I realize that's what the majority of people here are into but that's not for us. I think that's why I have a tough time getting advice. People assume. We're looking to explore guys, girls, couples, but in accordance with everyone's comfort levels. The thing that actually prompted us to open up was how good our sex life already is.... How could we make it even hotter between the two of us. This is about us together as a couple. We have been through some great times and some extremely horrible times together. Ride or die basically. We mean too much to each other to do ANYTHING that would cause the other pain or jealousy. I am just trying to find a way to wrap my head around letting another man fuck her and not worrying about becoming second best sexually in her mind. That way, I won't feel any pain or jealousy and she can feel good about it. If I'm hurt, she's hurt, vice versa. And we're honest with each other, so she will always know how I feel. I don't conceal emotions because it's not healthy.

There's also something VERY erotic about becoming ultra-vulnerable with your wife. You've already crossed the line into some shared territory. If you embrace the idea that you might either be humbled or hurt by her unbridled sexuality on display, you might have an existential moment with your relationship as you realize how powerful she really is.
If a 4wd SUV only takes to city streets because that's all that's available, you'll never see what it's capable of. Take it off-road a little, and you'll be Amazed at what it can do! Does that mean she will prefer the off-road driving? Maybe... but city streets are smooth and reliable. They're comfortable and pleasurable still. Let her try both, and take pleasure in her off-road experience. That's my advice... you're already SO close to doing it. Tweak your perspective a little, and you could have an incredible journey.

 

[Uncledude55]

When we play, I'm in charge of what happens. I have sex with my wife and use the other guy as a second set of hands to help me pleasure her. I have him feel her body, squeeze her tits, spank her, insert her plug, use dildos on her, etc. She loves it and gets extremely orgasmic. It's fun! Last time I felt brave enough to let her play with his cock at various points during the fun. However, when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress. Is this normal?

I have a huge fear that if the other guy is bigger than me, has a better body, stuff like that, that she will have better orgasms with him than she does with me and she might consider him to be better than me sexually. I love my wife deeply and I want to be nothing less than number one in all areas for her. That is our current situation right now. I am in wedded bliss.

You should NOT be doing this !!!!

 

[ExploringCouple]

"Unhinged" LOL. Why are you here? Wife Wants To Play not I Don't Want My Wife To Play. Don't really see anything unhinged about the reply but you do as you see fit. Sure, we make several assumptions...by reading all of your comments this is clearly all about what YOU want and not what she wants. Your entire situation doesn't make sense to us...but that's how it goes in the LS. If she was having HER ideas and desires addressed here then she would also be here asking questions and sharing her thoughts. Doesn't seem like she even knows you are on here. So perhaps you're correct.."we can't relate". That said, we are one of a handful of verified members on here, we've been involved in the lifestyle for quite awhile and we do believe we can "relate" to LS situations....probably way more than you can. We didn't mean to offend and what we see being communicated doesn't seem to jibe with how you are interpreting the situation. Enjoy the ride! We wish you the best. It all eventually works out one way or another but our advice is that you don't seem cut out for the LS. That's not an insult, just an observation. We've been around the LS for awhile and seen all types of people involved. What you describes seems to be a risky endeavor to what is clearly a great relationship at the time being. Don't mess it up over fantasy sex. You seem pretty tightly wound to be a "bull" and we would NOT recommend that for you. You also seem too tightly wound to be involved in the LS for the most part. In some way asking questions here and reading replies might help you to navigate the start of this. Angry dismissals seem pretty closed minded for newbies trying to find their way.

Our first question, just to get to the heart of the matter is this.....Are you or her or both turned on by the thought of her having sexual relations with another man? If the answer is "yes" then we can dig deeper. If not, then you're not in the right forum. Finally, if you're not being melodramatic and you really do believe that you would feel "pain and suffer in silence" then leave the LS ASAP! We suggested that ONE COURSE OF ACTION MIGHT BE for her to explore the LS on her own for a little bit to see how it goes..perhaps flirting and chatting, perhaps touching, perhaps more....it's just an experiment. There was lots of other stuff there too. "Toxic"?? "predetermined outcome"?? "no desire to be a hotwife" (you don't really KNOW that for sure, you two don't seem to be really open about desires with one another so how would either of you know? If that's the case, then fine, you can play any way that you both agree upon. But if you're here asking a bunch of questions and the way YOU'VE decide how the two of you will play, then once again....why are you here?

HW

I read the first few lines of this post. She knows I'm here. I showed her the thread. She informed my previous response. Again, assuming things. I'm not sure who you are but I really hope that first timers aren't taking your advice to heart. You're going 100mph straight into cuck territory and don't consider the needs of the husband or the dynamic of the couple. Please stop responding. We don't want advice from you.

 

[ExploringCouple]

There's also something VERY erotic about becoming ultra-vulnerable with your wife. You've already crossed the line into some shared territory. If you embrace the idea that you might either be humbled or hurt by her unbridled sexuality on display, you might have an existential moment with your relationship as you realize how powerful she really is.
If a 4wd SUV only takes to city streets because that's all that's available, you'll never see what it's capable of. Take it off-road a little, and you'll be Amazed at what it can do! Does that mean she will prefer the off-road driving? Maybe... but city streets are smooth and reliable. They're comfortable and pleasurable still. Let her try both, and take pleasure in her off-road experience. That's my advice... you're already SO close to doing it. Tweak your perspective a little, and you could have an incredible journey.

I wouldn't be happy being the city streets. I want to please her and make her happy with my sex. The other guy is just variety.... Not "better". At least that's what I hope...

 

[ExploringCouple]

You should NOT be doing this !!!!

Why? We're having fun so far and I feel mostly good with it to this point. If you are willing, I'd like to hear your reasoning. I'm willing to listen and heed warnings if I know why.

 

[Uncledude55]

Why? We're having fun so far and I feel mostly good with it to this point. If you are willing, I'd like to hear your reasoning. I'm willing to listen and heed warnings if I know why.

Look....I'm not meaning to offend you in any way, but it's obvious from your first post that your insecure. My better half and I have been in the "lifestyle" for over 25 years. There isn't much at this point we haven't seen. I can tell you if your not totally secure in your relationship with your wife, and as you put it, "when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress.", and if your not totally OK with seeing another man having sex with your wife....your asking for trouble, and it WILL come. Jealousy and apprehension has no place within the lifestyle. I've seen couple after couple not heed warnings given them by experienced people in the lifestyle, end up in divorce court.

I'm what they call a "Stag". I enjoy watching my wife have sex with other people. It has been a huge turn on for both of us from the start, but at the end of the night....no matter how great the sex was or how big their cocks were....I was from the start secure in knowing she was going home with me. We totally trust one an other, so I know for a fact there would be nothing going on behind my back....and the same goes for her. We are as much in love (probably more) now as we were when we first married 43 years ago. The sex to us only enhances our sex life. It's like having a human sex toy to us. Make no mistake, we have made some great friendships over the years, but the sex to us is just that....sex. If your having a sense of panic and distress at the thought of your wife fucking and sucking another man....then your NOT ready to be in this lifestyle and feeling "mostly good" about it, doesn't cut it. Not saying you can't get there, but you need to work on your own insecurities or your simply opening the door for trouble. Other people on here will tell you to just go for it. You'll get all sorts of advice, and 99.9% of it is bullshit. Do yourself a favor and step back from the lifestyle, have several serious talks with your wife about your feelings and hers, if she doesn't have the same feeling as you do or her feelings about the lifestyle are different, don't get upset or dismiss what she tells you. Just communicate with her.

 

[2wheel]

Interesting. What's your dynamic and in what ways did your views and feelings change?

Long read but may give you some insight

Is this the start or the end (part 1)?

Thursday, 8/30, I asked my wife if Gayle is going to join us for dinner Friday 8/31. (we're going out for pizza and Gayle's husband Jack is away). She's engrossed in reading a book and without any thought blurts out, "no, Gayle has a date." Then she realizes what she just said, stops reading...

www.wifewantstoplay.com

 

[Hot4maturelady]

Thanks for the reply. I have zero interest in being humiliated or being made to feel like less of a man. To what you've said, I've spoken to many couples that do this and I notice that the determination of if the girl has better sex with other men is that the bf /husband gets off on that idea. It boils down to the wife wanting to please her husband and share in his turn on of her fucking "better" men with him. With other couples that the guy isn't into that aspect sexually, I notice that the wives tend to maintain that their husband is the best sex they've ever had, or sometimes I hear that the other guy isn't better, just different. What are your thoughts on my observations?

This whole concept is based on winning ur wife again and again. Proving her that u r the best. But if u afraid of losing how will u participate in a battle.

 

[Ksmith]

I have been in the lifestyle for nearly 30 years so I think I have had some experience. I think you are worrying too much. If you and your wife love each other and just want to enhance your sex life by introducing others just do it. It is only natural for women to feel extra sexy and experience more intense orgasms if two men are stimulating them. Relax and go for it

This is true. Believe your woman when she says that she only loves you. You know the signs of a solid relationship, if you place blame or guilt upon her , you will sabotage your marriage. She trusts you to allow this to happen do not ruin it for all involved.Do think it over, you may not be mature enough to handle this kind of pressure with your own guilt.

Look....I'm not meaning to offend you in any way, but it's obvious from your first post that your insecure. My better half and I have been in the "lifestyle" for over 25 years. There isn't much at this point we haven't seen. I can tell you if your not totally secure in your relationship with your wife, and as you put it, "when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress.", and if your not totally OK with seeing another man having sex with your wife....your asking for trouble, and it WILL come. Jealousy and apprehension has no place within the lifestyle. I've seen couple after couple not heed warnings given them by experienced people in the lifestyle, end up in divorce court.

I'm what they call a "Stag". I enjoy watching my wife have sex with other people. It has been a huge turn on for both of us from the start, but at the end of the night....no matter how great the sex was or how big their cocks were....I was from the start secure in knowing she was going home with me. We totally trust one an other, so I know for a fact there would be nothing going on behind my back....and the same goes for her. We are as much in love (probably more) now as we were when we first married 43 years ago. The sex to us only enhances our sex life. It's like having a human sex toy to us. Make no mistake, we have made some great friendships over the years, but the sex to us is just that....sex. If your having a sense of panic and distress at the thought of your wife fucking and sucking another man....then your NOT ready to be in this lifestyle and feeling "mostly good" about it, doesn't cut it. Not saying you can't get there, but you need to work on your own insecurities or your simply opening the door for trouble. Other people on here will tell you to just go for it. You'll get all sorts of advice, and 99.9% of it is bullshit. Do yourself a favor and step back from the lifestyle, have several serious talks with your wife about your feelings and hers, if she doesn't have the same feeling as you do or her feelings about the lifestyle are different, don't get upset or dismiss what she tells you. Just communicate with her.

This is so true, have you limitations set and a great communication line set. Otherwise your jealousy will bring everything down and possibly ruin your relationship forever. A fantasy is fine but crossing the line is something completely different.

 

[atantonov]

Hello, my wife and I recently started to dip our toes into this kind of stuff. We've had 2 encounters with a guy we found and vetted for literally months. He's a good guy, respectful. We're starting slow and taking baby steps.... Nobody wants to get hurt or feel like they hurt someone.

When we play, I'm in charge of what happens. I have sex with my wife and use the other guy as a second set of hands to help me pleasure her. I have him feel her body, squeeze her tits, spank her, insert her plug, use dildos on her, etc. She loves it and gets extremely orgasmic. It's fun! Last time I felt brave enough to let her play with his cock at various points during the fun. However, when I picture in my mind, her actually sucking his dick or me standing aside and watching him fuck her, I feel a sense of panic and distress. Is this normal?

I have a huge fear that if the other guy is bigger than me, has a better body, stuff like that, that she will have better orgasms with him than she does with me and she might consider him to be better than me sexually. I love my wife deeply and I want to be nothing less than number one in all areas for her. That is our current situation right now. I am in wedded bliss.

I brought my concerns to her and she said I am worrying about nothing, because she knows that I will always be her best sexual experience and her best orgasm. It warms my heart to hear her say that, but I have trouble accepting it because she has almost no sexual experience outside of me. She had sex with one guy one time before we got together. So I fear she may not really know what she's talking about.

I'm happy to show her a good time and introduce a little variety and new sexual experiences, I just don't want her to prefer those experiences over her sexual experience with me. I feel that this is a very basic desire for a husband that truly loves his wife. So my long-winded question is basically, for those with experience, is my wife correct? If I could truly accept that I would always be number one sexually to her then it would give me a massive amount of confidence to press forward. But if there is a chance that she could prefer sex with another guy or think he's better than me in bed then I'm not so sure this is something we should be doing. If that happened, my masculinity would be shattered and my confidence would completely evaporate. I would not feel like a man anymore.

Apologies for the long post and any advice would be appreciated thank you!

Edit: I forgot to mention a couple things that might be relevant. My biggest opposition and source of anxiety is the thought of being on the sidelines while the other guy takes her one on one. If I'm still intimately involved then I feel less scared of it because I'm still helping to give her those orgasms.

The whole reason for us doing this is to throw gasoline on our already hot sex life. I thought I would be really turned on seeing her do stuff with another guy. And I am! But what I've discovered is that my biggest source of pleasure comes from how hot and horny she gets in those situations, not necessarily her doing stuff with the other guy. I can give her so many intense orgasms because she is already highly aroused due to the kinky nature of our situation. It makes me feel like a God among men when I'm giving her massive orgasms back to back to back, etc. We want to keep the focus of our play on each other. The goal is the enhance the already great sex we have together, not to find "better" sex with someone else. We're laser focused on each other as we do this.

I am under the impression that you want to see your wife happy and fucked as long as she dont get penetrated. That is impossible... Relax, let her have her fun. For her just like for her bull it will be just sex! So what if she enjoys her bull more then she enjoys you? At the end of the day she will stay your wife and what happens in the bedroom will stay there. Dont worry pussy is not a bar of soap it wont tear up, it might get stretch a little but give it a day or two it will contract right back....

 

[atantonov]

Wow, your wife is telling you in every way possible that she has made the decision that she wants to play. She is telling you everything you "want" to hear because she wants you to be comfortable with the situation and she wants you to let her play with other guys. Everything in your post has been "I" "Me" "I want" "I'm worried" "I want to fuck other women", etc. This isn't possibly about your wife. It's about you. So if you want her to simply be happy with what she has with you while you fuck other women then you really have no interest in her pleasure. Of course you're not "the best sex ever" or anything like it. Neither is any other guy. The whole idea of this is about adding pleasure and finding better sex....and that can mean many things. It certainly doesn't mean she's going to be happy with a hot guy massaging her and getting her worked up, maybe she gets to touch his cock and then he gets blue balls and you get to fuck her.

In all honesty, you need to assure her that you want her pleasure to be maximized and that is how she you can show your love for her. You're not showing it by getting her involved in a bit of the lifestyle that simply suits your desires. Why would you feel somehow inadequate because another guy pleasures her in an entirely different and more intense way than you do? That's the ENTIRE idea of hotwifing and the lifestyle. It's very selfish of you to encourage on one hand and then limit her to basically nothing on the other.

There is so much pleasure for her to discover out there because of her limited experience. She's trying to tell you in the most unthreatening way possible that she wants to explore it. Of course it's going to be perhaps painful for you and certainly you will have feelings of jealousy when she begins having the sex that she already desires with other men. On the other hand, if you are present, there is nothing more gratifying than that look on your wife's face, the sounds she makes, the way she moves her body when she's experiencing a kind of pleasure that other men can give her. Honestly, you might consider having a discussion with her about hotwifing, giving her your permission to explore on her own if she wants and then just getting out of the way. The freedom she has to explore and play with other men can lead to amazing experiences for you both. You could also just assure her during your next session with another guy that you support her and then get out of the way and watch her play. Kissing is a fundamental part of caring hotwifing. If she sucks another guy's cock and another guy eats her pussy, then kissing is the least of your worries. Let her have a beautiful, passionate, sexual experience in whatever way her and her partner agree upon. This isn't to say that your thoughts are unusual for newbies in the LS, quite the contrary. These are normal feelings. Getting over them or getting out of the LS is the decision. If you keep frustrating her or worse, do the split personality thing with her then this will end badly. Never get angry with her about ANY of this, including kissing. Once she's had enough gaslighting then she will be finished for good...or perhaps (since she clearly already wants to experience sex with other men) she will just do so on the side without your knowledge. Ask us questions if you want. We can probably help.

HW

One day she will have enough of him and find a guy and bring him home and take charge and order him to seat in the chair and watch her get fucked and shut the hell up or she will leave him for a first guy that will let her play and make her happy!

 

[ExploringCouple]

One day she will have enough of him and find a guy and bring him home and take charge and order him to seat in the chair and watch her get fucked and shut the hell up or she will leave him for a first guy that will let her play and make her happy!

No she won't because she's not a cheater. We're a team. Everything we do, we do with the other in mind. Good lord what is wrong with some of the people here. Do you really live your lives like this? Concerned only with your wife's crotch and not a thought given to delicate matters of the heart?

I came here for advice and understanding. Not to be ridiculed. Opening up like this is a BIG DEAL and very scary. Not to be taken lightly. It requires a lot of hard thought to make sure we do it the right way that works for us. There is no right or wrong way to do this as long as everyone enjoys it and doesn't get hurt. That's the part I'm struggling with.... I don't want to get hurt, or hurt her. I want to make sure we're doing this the right way FOR US as a couple..... Not what the hotwife Bible says is the right way to do things.

 

[ExploringCouple]

It doesn't matter how much advice anybody who is actually in this community gives. The guy's a fraud, clearly his wife doesn't know he's on here and he has NO INTEREST in what seems to be a growing assessment that what he describes is NOT suitable for success in the LS. I have an idea for the OP...get verified as a couple and then I'll apologize for our conclusions and ignore your exploration on here without comment. Just for the record, my wife and I DO NOT LIVE A CUCKOLD lifestyle. We are lifestylers, we play as a couple, she plays alone as a hotwife, I play alone, etc. Who "we are" is an experienced lifestyle couple who has seen countless men derail lifestyle experiences because they think it's about them. There are guys like that at most major clubs and parties we attend. The wives aren't having fun. You're simply not going to find much support for your beliefs in the LS. In the LS, THE WOMEN are the focus. If you don't figure that out then once again, you aren't suited for it. There isn't much of a market for yet another controlling guy who uses his wife as bait in order to attract women for HIM to play with. Every one of us has seen that type of profile and met that type of couple in the LS. Join a swingers site and put together a profile that states what you have stated on here as your philosophy and desires. Then sit back and see how few responses you get from people actually IN THE LIFESTYLE.

HW

How do we verify? I'm not showing our faces on here.

 

[atantonov]

No she won't because she's not a cheater. We're a team. Everything we do, we do with the other in mind. Good lord what is wrong with some of the people here. Do you really live your lives like this? Concerned only with your wife's crotch and not a thought given to delicate matters of the heart?

I came here for advice and understanding. Not to be ridiculed. Opening up like this is a BIG DEAL and very scary. Not to be taken lightly. It requires a lot of hard thought to make sure we do it the right way that works for us. There is no right or wrong way to do this as long as everyone enjoys it and doesn't get hurt. That's the part I'm struggling with.... I don't want to get hurt, or hurt her. I want to make sure we're doing this the right way FOR US as a couple..... Not what the hotwife Bible says is the right way to do things.

A"hotwife bible"?