You were looking for info from people ho have this type of reationship, versus the doom and gloom that you mostly got.....
I am involved in a long term (11 years now) relationship with my Boss/Lover. In our case, the only person who is aware of our sexual relationship is my husband, and my Boss/Lover is not aware that hubby knows. We could not become "partners" because of the negative effect it would have on our business so the chance of that happening are as close to zero as possible.....that said, we do spend a LOT of time together (pre-COVID). When we travel for business, we have one room now and are together all the time. THere are times I spend the night or weekend with him when we are not at home also. We spend a month together at the Corporate Condo in Clearwater doing "business planning" and a few other things too. We are also birth control free together hoping I will become pregnant. He even recently approached me about living with him at a home he was trying to buy, but that deal fell apart partly due to COVID also.....I was interested in doing so and hubby was ok with it, although not a HUGE fan!! LOL it would not have been a permanent living arrangement, mostly when we were working out of the Florida offices, but would have overlapped hubby being there also.
So there are situations like this that can work, but I expect they are fewer than more common. It would be difficult to live with someone several nights a week and not develop emotional feelings beyond sex partner. I fully admit I am in love with my Boss/Lover, and he feels the same also. I don't think, even if it could develop in to a more permanent relationship, that it would as there are a LOT of things about my Boss/Lover than are definitely NOT perfect. Living with him always would be difficult.....even his wife doesn't live with him all the time. Mostly holidays and family functions.
So yes, it can work and it can be VERY sexciting also......but probably not for everyone. Has to be a striong relationship to handle this lifestyle to begin with, and then to move further along like this requires an even stronger relationship.
J (the wife)