For me, it's fact that I am doing something that goes against the norm with hubby's permission and acceptance and he finds it a complete turn on as well. He watched me Sunday afternoon as my out of state lover was in town and took me right on the sectional right next to hubby. Hubby even took some photos. For me it isn't a size issue, Hubby is average and I've had below average and 11" as well. It's about the person behind the cock knowing how to use it. If you have 11 or 12 inches and use it as a battering ram, I'm not interested. Show me you know how to use what you have. My hubby has no problem with any size I play with.