I feel very jealous as I watch my wife and her lover kissing. I feel excited and hurt at the same time. And sometimes I feel these feelings separately.
As well, I can feel very left-out. I try to adjust and feel good about how she is enjoying herself. As I watch I often feel that her lover is better at lovemaking than I. Sometimes I will tell myself, that it is the newness of him which excites her. Or, maybe, it is the excitement for her, of having a S.O. that allows this to happen......that helps her enjoy her lover so much. At times, as I watch their kissing, as I can sometimes actually see their tongues go from mouth to mouth; and then, tears will come into my eyes. A few times I had to leave the room, and just cry. But I have pulled myself together and have not interfered between my wife and any lover.
Seeing another guy remove her dress, and seeing his excitement, as he views her in the bra and panties which I picked out for her......or even bought her earlier that day......and helped her put on.........creates lots of jealousy.........and I also feel envious that it is he, who will now be making love to my wife......
I will watch as they sit on the couch......and deep kiss. And I feel even more envious of him, if he is younger than my wife and me, and if he has an incredible body.
The last one she was with was in his early 20's. And she was so turned on by this body, and she let him know it, telling him again and again. As they kissed she remained in her black bra and panties, her cleavage was so beautiful, she told him to take off all he was wearing; his erection was huge as he took off his briefs. She told him to leave her panties and her bra on, until they were in the bedroom. And she told him to leave on her panties and her bra, until they got into the bedroom. And she added, "I want to be here first and get to know you more". At times she would hold his face as they deep kissed. And at times, he would kiss her down to her breasts, kissing the exposed part, and then, kissing each breast thru her bra.
On this occasion I felt that I should leave. I climaxed really quickly. And I had not yet touched myself, except in a minor way, thru my pants. It was so intense as I saw my wife with a younger and better looking guy, so much more endowed than I, with a really muscular body. As I sat alone, I felt so inadequate. I felt betrayed, but I reminded myself that it was me who mentioned doing this a while back.......and about a year and a half ago it began. But, this was her first time with Steve. Their kissing came into my mind......after less than just a few minutes......I felt excited. When I returned my wife's hand was on his leg near his very erect penis and she was telling him that she loves how it looks and she asked him if other females have told him this. He told her that he has received some compliments and that he realizes how lucky he is because of its size. As I sat down across from them, my wife said to me......."don't you think this is incredibly large?". I simply said......"Yes it is very incredible, I agree with Steve, he is so lucky......I wish I had that". Steve then said, "don't worry, it all how you use it, size is not important". This really embarrassed me. My wife then asked if I was okay, and I said "Yes, fine'. She and Steve then looked at one another and their lips pressed together, and they deep kissed once again. Then she stopped, and she looked at me. I told her, "don't stop", and to "enjoy Steve". And with that she said, "we are going to the bedroom now, could you give us 30 minutes alone?" My heart sank and I agreed. She asked me to remove her lingerie and I did. I noticed red bites around her neck. She looked so beautiful naked, but so did he. And, his erection appeared even larger as he stood there. And his balls looked larger too. In a way, they looked just like a loving couple, as they walked away holding hands.
They went to our bedroom, without me. As I sat alone, I took off my pants and briefs. I looked at my penis and confirmed that I am inadequate. I smelled her panties and her bra. Both held a fragrance of their own. As I smelled each one, my other hand stroked my dick. I felt really and truly ineffecive. I was really embarrassed. But, I was really excited, too. As I stroked, I felt so envious of Steve. I thought of his huge cock and his great build. I also thought of his cock in terms of how beautiful it was (honestly I'm not gay, but it was still beautiful). I thought of him saying he has received many compliments about this penis.
I thought of how my wife admired it. Trying to deal with all of this......I even thought about her not needing to cheat.
I wanted my wife so badly as I sat there. I wanted so to reunite with her, and to hear that she only loves me. I wanted to give her oral when Steve left. I wanted to know how Steve made her feel. I wanted to know if she climaxed better with Steve, than with me.
I imagined what they were doing. And how he was making her feel. I intuitively knew that Steve would be a better lover for my wife than me ( actually I'd be stupid not to know this). Most important, I wanted her like never before.