Excellent point. Definitely physical, I know we both agree on that. On the other hand my wife happens to be the most sensual and passionate woman I've ever met, which is probably the reason the single guys fell for her. And add to that the energy that comes with the first real sexual exploration in her life....hell, I guess I can't blame them too much. Still....if you're a guy, nsa sex sure sounds like a pretty good deal.
Where To Find A Guy For Wife
- Thread starter CaliHusband
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Excellent point. Definitely physical, I know we both agree on that. On the other hand my wife happens to be the most sensual and passionate woman I've ever met, which is probably the reason the single guys fell for her. And add to that the energy that comes with the first real sexual exploration in her life....hell, I guess I can't blame them too much. Still....if you're a guy, nsa sex sure sounds like a pretty good deal.
I know of it, they have a rather heavy presence in our area. Whats been your experience with it? I know someone in a D role would appeal to her (a lot).
Mine turned from a physical to and LTR although that being said I"ll do nothing to upset my marriage.
cstina1979
Female
its been ok for me like anywhere you have to pay attn to who you talk to and how you connect me personally its through kik or email
I mean, I do understand that there's going to be some emotional involvement....like I tried to say above, that's just the way my wife is built. She's not really wired to have sex with a stranger she just met an hour ago....and I wouldn't ask her to do that. She should actually like the guy she's fucking, lol, if that makes any sense.
Yeah, its the pay attention to who you talk to that worries me. I had definitely considered Fetlife, but after some of our experiences with SLS.....I was kind of worried it might be worse instead of better. Would take a ton of trust to eventually let her play on her own....my wife is easily the most submissive woman I've ever met, so would be easy for her to get into trouble with the wrong person.
Ariess
Male
It makes sense. The key factor in an emotional friend is the ability to balance out home and your friend at the same time. This works so long as all parties involved do not go outside of those limits which works well unless the bull and your wife go further than expected. Then again it may work for you being a sub where the bull dominates her and you. Its really a discussion that you should have to understand your limits.
Ours is definitely more of a stag/vixen relationship....we do a fair amount of D/s role play. Regarding these new adventures, she's still a newbie, and up until recently, as her second husband I was also only the second man she had ever been with. So far I have always been there to make sure she is safe and secure....but I also get the allure and excitement of letting her play on her own. Fine line. It's really been about finding the right guy to fill that role for her, so far it's been very tough. Almost makes me wonder if it's better to just go out on the town (whenever we can do that again) and let it happen organically and see where it takes us.
Ariess
Male
Exploring may be the best option. You still may run into the issue of wierdos and emotions getting involved. Thats why you need to set limits such as her playing but you watching. This can also change once you have found the right fit but if she is submissive as you say she is you being there to start might be best as some bulls will invite friends to partake if those limits are not set.
cstina1979
Female
I am extremely sub to black men and wont deny that I have met a few that really did ...... me but in truth i kinda like that. But you need to chat with them before you let them between your legs no matter where you find them
Yes, that's exactly how I would see it unfolding, once we met someone a few times that we both feel good about.
There's actually a small group of black men about 10 minutes from us, that cater to that fantasy. When I discovered and mentioned it to the wife, I was actually surprised she didn't shoot the idea down right away, and instead started asking questions about it. When I mentioned that these things had a tendency to get out of hand, she didn't really understand what I meant by that....which to me just reinforced that it's not something she's ready for. We ended with her saying that black men weren't really her thing....but I don't know that its something we'd never do, would have to be further down the road.
That makes a TON of sense I can't imagine having sex with someone that I didn't have some connection with mentally.
When me and my ex wife started, there was no social media to be stalked on! We advertised in contact magazines, and occasionally she'd pick up a one night stand when clubbing, but never locally. Had a few problems with some men early on, but we learned to spot the signs when writing or on the phone before meeting.
With my current wife we had a lot of success on BeNaughty, and she has a Tinder account that gets her quite a few casual dates, but again we always make sure we vet them thoroughly before a meet.
And of course both wives have enjoyed the occasional trip dogging. Don't know about the US, but here in the UK most people on the dogging scene are very polite and respectful, and mindful of limits.
With my current wife we had a lot of success on BeNaughty, and she has a Tinder account that gets her quite a few casual dates, but again we always make sure we vet them thoroughly before a meet.
And of course both wives have enjoyed the occasional trip dogging. Don't know about the US, but here in the UK most people on the dogging scene are very polite and respectful, and mindful of limits.
cstina1979
Female
Thanks, might take a look at Tinder....I had always assumed that was just singles.
Thanks for the reply. At least in our area, it appears to be the same exact circle of people at all of the nearby parties (to the point of being ridiculous)....and it also didn't help that the very first couple that we talked to (that probably saw a newbie couple coming a mile away) invited us to a local party and were very dishonest. To be frank, the vibe that we get from a lot of the "frequent fliers" that we've talked to in our area is not terribly good.
We're very interested in meet and greets....wife trusts meeting people in person WAY more than meeting someone online. But in our area, meet and greets seem to be extremely rare for some reason.
The argument with certs was one of the things that drew us to SLS in the first place, but as my wife is starting with very little sexual experience, a guy with 15 years and 25 certs is a little intimidating to say the least.
Thank you, and yes, gave that a look. Eight guys on Kasidie around our age withing a 25mi radius from us....in the East Bay, that's prob a population of at least 1.5 million people, within an hour's drive? One guy actually sounded like a possible fit....same age as my wife, tall, Italian (or so he said)....when it came time to share a pic, he said "uh, I don't share pics until after I've already met someone", lol. Haven't been at this very long, but unfortunately we are already well versed in people not being who they say they are.
Curious if you've had any luck?
I"m so glad finding a guy for me is over, it really is challenging.
I"m so glad finding a guy for me is over, it really is challenging.
No, and we've been looking for the last three months or so....SLS, put an ad on Doublelist, etc. Because of our past experiences we are going to take our time and find someone who is a very good fit....I want my wife to have a great experience, so not going to share her with just anyone. At this point, I think we would be okay with just going out to a bar or club and finding someone that way....whenever that's possible again.....sure, they might not be "in the lifestyle" but so far I have to say, that might not necessarily be a bad thing.
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