If you are prepared for it, it is an amazing experience.
When the fling becomes more serious
- Thread starter Takemoment
- Start date
She and I should have known that a guy this young wouldn't be capable or want to keep up a long term relationship with us as we were in our 30s. The gap between 24 and 33 might as well be 50 years when it comes to relationships, - even more so when a young man is taking care of a older man's wife. We really wanted him to spend the night with Linda in our home once or twice a week but that was unrealistic. The first time was in the hotel near our home and after that we invited him to our home and I could see he was having some trouble adjusting to being in a married couple's home - in bed with the wife with hubby not in the room with them. But each time we had him over, he was better for her and when I heard Linda having orgasms with him I knew it would be tough on her if we lost him. And it was. We never expressely told him so, but we would have been happy if Linda conceived with him and she and I talked about it all the time when we had sex. Guys this age just can't internalize it. We didn't need financial support and wouldn't have told anyone he was the father. But I also knew that Linda would want him in her life long-term, they had a nice groove personality wise. While Linda enjoyed some guys younger than us after that, there was no really young ones like this guy. We had learned out lesson. When she did conceive 2 years later, it was with a married man the same age as her.
Ha ha - I don't know that I was ever totally prepared for it, even though I knew what was happening. The sensations overwhelmed me as his hard penis went in her until it was all the way in. At that point he held it here and they were making out - me standing there with my erection sticking straight out and my dick tingling. From then on she never looked at me until later when he finished in her. I'd never seen her so sexy and happy and didn't know what to do with myself - leave the room, say something or what. I came to love that feeling and crave it as it meant my wife had another man's sperm deep in her and would be so happy! Me too, - and it's when she and I had some of our best sex later on. For now, she was still his.
You've got a lot on your plate. You're infertile, your wife had a baby by another man, your wife has "feelings" for someone and you feel inadequate. Some people here could call your situation ideal, while others would call it a nightmare. I think you need to focus on yourself some. You've had to accept a lot and they aren't things you "just get over".
I would guess the biggest question is do you get enough out of it to want to continue? You need some assurance that there is an end to the present progression you're in or is this a cycle to be repeated? Do you have an ideal scenario? Do you wish you could be less anxious about sharing your feelings with her?
If her plans are to get pregnant again it would be helpful to know about the "sperm donor's" health history. It seems risky to me.
I have to say I really appreciate your response and recognizing that this lifestyle and my situation is not alway easy for me. It never has been and I would have to believe it never will be. Am I content, yes. Could things be better for me, yes. As I guy I just wanted a woman to love, to be married and have children with her. The typically vanilla life in a way (with some adventures in the bedroom). But I guess we all do not get what we want or think we want, and even then, it does not always work out as planned or hoped for.
Did I want to be infertile? Fuck no and it has been one of the hardest things I have had to accept. Fortunately my dick works and it has always given me pleasure.
Did I want a wife who as this site calls them, a hot wife? No, at least not when I thought of my life and having a wife.
But one cannot control who one falls in love with. All relationships, marriage included, have to have some compromises. Some easy and some much more difficult.
When I found my then GF fucking her ex while we were dating, I could have ended it there. I sort of did for a bit, but needless to say I want back and we married. I have to give my wife credit as she told me what she wanted before we got married. Not to get into all of the details and my own emotional journey, but I accepte what was to be.
Like anything else you learn to accept and figure out how to have pleasure with all of it. I guess I compartmentalize. There is our marriage (the majority of our lives) and there is sex.
We wanted children, I could not give my wife children, and since others were fucking her, there was no need to do the clinical sperm donor route. The biological father of our baby agreed to impregnating my wife, we did do our due diligence as they say, getting medical information and making sure their was a mutual understanding for life after my wife was pregnant.
Fucking is always risky for pregnancy and I guess we were lucky that my wife had not gotten pregnant by one of the guys.
I know that sex can lead to intimacy and I suspect that my wife has had some feelings for one or two guys before the pregnancy. That has been difficult for me. And with this new young guy, it seems to be more intense. One does not need to be told when another guy is falling in love with your wife, or at least has some desire for her then just sex. My wife denies it, but I know she has feelings for him
So I have choices to make. Stay in my marriage as is, tell my wife I want out of the cuckold lifestyle, or get a divorce. I do not want a divorce. I have accepted my role as the cuckold husband, learned over the years how to enjoy the experience. It is a part of our sex life. There is more to sexual desire and fulfillment then intercourse. I have learned a lot about myself sexually.
As for another baby, yes, my wife and I both want that, maybe even a third. But will be as responsible as possible before any guy knocks her up.
Thanks for your candid response. I knew you were carrying some heavy emotional burdens. It would take someone with a heart of stone not to! I guess the most important thing is are you happy? I think you've more than earned the opportunity to tell your wife exactly what you need from her and how you feel. You said you don't want a divorce but it is in your mind as an alternative anyway. I mean it is a possibility. I think it would be wise to have a sit down and tell your wife you want her input on the "choices you have to make". She has to know that you've been through a lot.
I have tried to be as honest as I can be on this site, as it is my outlet for sharing my experiences. I really do not have anyone in my life to talk to about being a cuckold, about being infertile and raising another guy's biological ....... No one would understand the cuckold situation and it is something that seems to need to be a private matter. As for being infertile, I guess I do not want to admit to anyone that I can not impregnate my wife and now that she has been pregnant and we have our ......, I do not want anyone to know the baby is not mind.
I cannot believe that any cuckold does not have doubts, fears or concerns, about this lifestyle. Yes there is a very intense sexual element to it, whether the need to watch the wife getting fucked as part of the cuckold's sexual desires, or to be subservient to the wife and her lovers or to have the need to be humiliated. Or whatever it is for each cuckold.
You asked if I am happy and I have to say that I am. I knew basically from the start that I was entering a cuckold marriage. I had a choice and I accepted it. I am sure some shrink could analyze why I did accept it and why I live my life as a cuckold. Where there times, especially in the beginning, where I was resentful, for sure, where I wanted it to stop, absolutely. But overtime, it just became a part of our marraige. My wife is not a mean person, she does not fuck other guys to hurt me. She was very honest about what she wanted.
We have had conversations about the fucking, the guys and whether or not she developed any emotional ties with any of them. She has been honest about how she feels, with most guys just being a cock she fucks, but there have been some where it was more, but never anything that became serious to threaten our marriage.
As for the guy who did impregnate my wife, she enjoyed having sex with him and together, my wifeand I agreed to ask him to considering being a sperm donor (of course, the natural away).. He agreed.
I guess the reason I seem to have recent concerns is that the young guy fucking my wife clearly has feelings for my wife and I can tell she has them for him. I know I need to have a conversation about this, but I guess I am afraid to hear what she will say. I know I need to grow a pair of balls, but I guess that is why I ended up being a cuckold in the first place.
Hey man, thanks for your sincere reply! It sounds like you have enough communication to be upfront with everything. You knew what you were getting in to. If your wife was mean about it then that says something else. The fact that she's not at a minimum says she cares. It's my guess/feel that no matter what the relationship there will be rocky times with this lifestyle. Things change over time as well as attitudes and perspectives. You probably should let your wife know that you feel some insecurity about this young guy. At least hear what she says. I know it's a risky move but........
thebeginner
Well-Known Member
I know, I know. I need to be honest about my feelings. I am just afraid of what comes after the "but..." Not that I think my wife will leave me but that she will tell me she has feelings for this guy, that she loves him or is falling in love with him. Just based on generally conversations, I believe my wife is considering him to be bio dad number two when she is ready to get pregnant again. I know i need to disccuss him as a option as I think the emotional side of having a baby with my wife will be more difficult for him to separate the act of fucking to just impregnate her and actually being the baby's bio father.
With the guy who fucked and impregnated my wife the first time and gave us our beautiful ......, he was older, he was in the middle of a separation from his wife. My wife was a sexual outlet for him, he had kids of his own with his wife, he never looked at my wife as a future wife as he was in marriage counseling and in fact after my wife became pregnant by him, they got back together and he knocked up his own wife.
So yes that conversation will happen as we both decided before we journeyed down this road to a pregnancy the first time, that we both had to be on the same page. If she does love him, want his baby, there will be a serious discussion with him so that everyone, including me, knows where everyone stands.
You are the first person to really make me evaluate my life, my marriage, my status as a cuckold.
I want to make clear that I'm NOT judging you criticizing you. I tend to focus on how people do this lifestyle successfully. A lot of details are swept aside because the actual events are much more appealing to read. There are a lot of implications, attitudes and emotions that do not include the actual sex act. Those things greatly impact the "post orgasm clarity" people experience when they aren't in the heat of the moment.
So often I've read stuff like this as advice for men when they face NRE or uncharacteristic behavior from their wife. "Try to understand from her perspective, for a vanilla woman this is the biggest thing in her life. Give her some time, this is the time for you to give unconditional love and support. Let her know that you want her forever and ever. She loves you and she'll eventually understand your POV."
No one says much about the husband's experience. Why isn't there a similar statement for husbands like, "Maybe the marriage will be stronger if SHE tried understand from HIS perspective, for a first time hot wife husband this is the biggest thing in his life. Give him some time, this is the time for HER to give unconditional love and support. Let him know that you want him forever and ever. If she really wants this to work, she needs to be aware that he may not be having the same wonderful experience she's having."
Some things should be very obvious like, "Are you having fun?" Either partner should be able to instantly say what the other is getting out of the deal. If a wife can't tell you what that is for her husband with complete confidence and certainty then something is out of balance. I get your fear of what the impact of a much needed conversation may result in. You might consider that avoiding the conversation may make things more difficult and harder to address. You may also discover that your wife is more than ready to help you with your feelings and emotions.
This lifestyle is often described as wild and wide open, rules tossed aside, boundaries crossed and without limits. The trouble is that these relationships will fail eventually if there isn't adequate attention paid to the satisfaction and happiness of both partners and not just one them. It's undeniable that you can get caught up in the moment and mistakes can be made. The difference in the successful couples is what they do and say when they AREN'T in the moment.
I was concerned about that too. My wife seemed to know this would happen, and she sat me down and assured me (on more than one occasion) that she could love two men and it wouldn't have a negative impact on our marriage. I was skeptical but agreed to follow her lead and true to her word, our marriage remained strong - we have 30+ years now and often talk about her escapades "back in the day." In truth, she was much more "mature" about it all than I was, but she carefully nutured our marriage while she enjoyed sex with her lover and myself. When having sex with me, she was expressing her love for me, but was in essence "taking care of me" to make sure I was happy. And she understood my needs as well and went out of her way to make sure I'd have opportunities for "seconds," cleaning or, - "reclaim" as some folks put it. (we didn't use that term back then as we didn't know it). 8 or 9 years later it was painful when she had to break it off with her BF due to his issues with his wife. That's when I really came to understand the depth of her feelings for him. But it was also time for us to "give it a rest as well. We both agree, we'd do it all again, but we'd start sooner, and enjoy her time with her lover more often. This story is way too long. Suffice it to say, we would have had her BF in our home and in her more often.
I found that I was turned on by their afterglow loving as well as their sex. And my wife was erotic beyond belief laying there in his arms with that freshly fucked "pinkening" of her cheeks and the satisfied look on her face, - she was just "glowing." Orgasm will do that for a woman!
I do not feel judged or criticized by you. You bring up valid points. Yes when it is focused solely on the sex aspect, it is titilating. Whether I am watching a guy having sex with my wife, fucking her, or knowing it is happening either here where we live ot elsewhere, it arouses me. I get off on it.
But like any relationship out there, straight, bi, gay, monogomous or promiscuious, the act of sex is really just a quick moment of ones life.
If I did not believe that we have solid marriage I am sure we would be having increasing conflicts in this lifestyle. But you are correct, from all that I have read and from postings on here and elsewhere, there is no concern about the cuckold or his feelings and desires. It is as if the man has been castrated, just a thing, a servant, there for the pleasure of the woman and many times the bull.
Interestingly in our marriage, we discuss everything, everything except sex. If we have sex together it just happens, nothing planned. I assume like all married couples, sometimes the sex is incredible, sometimes it is good and sometimes it is just the act, the orgasm and nothing more, maybe some cuddling.
However, when we decided to pursue the act of fucking by a guy to impregnate my wife, we had long serious discussions about it. We both agreed that it had to be mutual decision to go forward with it, how it should be planned, our concerns, any future role of the sperm donor, contingencies and of course, and the right guy whose cock would fuck and perform the deed.
But I will take your advice and make myself have a more open conversation with my wife about my feelings, desires, concerns of being a cuckold.
Have to ask, did she ever get pregnant with him? If so, did she deliver? J (the curious wife)
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