What now? Need advice.
- Thread starter Hotwife8682
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This is so true. I don’t know about going bare boner absent birth control . Pregnancy is not a good idea. The rest of the advice is perfect. Your wife is crossing that line and will never go back. You will love sloppy seconds.
lassomedwn
Male
i cant wait for this to happen we are older so maybe its going to take more time
hotwifeluvr
Male
My thoughts are that he should pay for the room. Not due to any traditional stance or anything like that. For one thing, it will reduce the potential for him to flake. You don't want him to flake, because it can make your wife feel shitty. The more he has "invested" in this, the higher his regard will be for her. If you pay for the room, it's like you're offering him an incentive of sorts, and my feeling is that he should be all-in and highly motivated. Also, it should be a nice place. Maybe not 5 stars, but not the No-tell Motel either. Unless you, or she, is into the idea of it being a cheap hotel of course. Otherwise, the nicer place will enhance her feeling of being desirable, and make her feel more comfortable. One guy my wife had agreed to meet told her her would meet her at one of the rattiest hotels in the area. Purely being a cheapskate and not wanting to invest much in getting his dick wet. Forget it. Actually, I think he had already booked and paid for the room when he told her. She told him to enjoy himself being alone, because she wasn't going to meet him at such a place. She's worth taking to a nice place, and so is your wife.
I once suggested to my wife that she take a guy she was seeing out to dinner on his birthday. He'd been courting her for a while, and she'd decided that she'd give it up to him on his birthday, and asked me how to make it happen. I told her to take him to a nice place for dinner which is next to, or in, a nice hotel. To book a room in the hotel, and go there in advance to stock it with her lingerie, refreshments, candles, music, etc. Then after dinner, to excuse herself and find the waiter, pay for dinner, and arrange to have the waiter hold off for 10-15 minutes or so, then to bring him the folder which normally holds the bill. In the folder, he would find an envelope with a birthday card inside. Along with the card key to the hotel room and the room number, and a romantically worded invitation for him to join her there.
She'd be waiting there for him on the bed in her lingerie, candles lit, music playing, pussy dripping wet with anticipation. The idea makes my dick hard even now. She (wisely, I think, in hindsight) rejected this idea outright. No way was she going to pay for dinner, much less a hotel room. It would make her feel cheap and easy, and like she was chasing after him. YMMV of course....
I once suggested to my wife that she take a guy she was seeing out to dinner on his birthday. He'd been courting her for a while, and she'd decided that she'd give it up to him on his birthday, and asked me how to make it happen. I told her to take him to a nice place for dinner which is next to, or in, a nice hotel. To book a room in the hotel, and go there in advance to stock it with her lingerie, refreshments, candles, music, etc. Then after dinner, to excuse herself and find the waiter, pay for dinner, and arrange to have the waiter hold off for 10-15 minutes or so, then to bring him the folder which normally holds the bill. In the folder, he would find an envelope with a birthday card inside. Along with the card key to the hotel room and the room number, and a romantically worded invitation for him to join her there.
She'd be waiting there for him on the bed in her lingerie, candles lit, music playing, pussy dripping wet with anticipation. The idea makes my dick hard even now. She (wisely, I think, in hindsight) rejected this idea outright. No way was she going to pay for dinner, much less a hotel room. It would make her feel cheap and easy, and like she was chasing after him. YMMV of course....
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That's good advice right there. And the sooner she gets started the better before she starts second guessing her decision. Once she's having great sex she isn't going to want to change her mind but that's definitely a chance the longer you leave it. Currently she's made her decision but you don't want her to start overthinking it and finding reasons not to go through with. It's also why it's good she's picked a guy she knows is a good fuck so that her first experience of screwing outside her marriage is a good one. She might have some that aren't that great latter but as long as she knows how good it can be, she'll be able to just write those off as bad luck or the wrong guy xx
69jd69
Male
Make sure you talk about this in detail before she goes. Set ground rules. You are in a marriage so this is a two way thing. While I can tell you, before/when it is happening that it is about as powerful an aphrodisiac as has ever been created, once it is done and you come, many many people experience an anxiety period. I can't think of the term that is used but it can lead to jealousy and anger. If you are not both ready to cuddle and reassure each other after then it can cause problems. And I disagree with the idea that it is her body and her choice. You are in a marriage. This is a team thing. If she isn't willing to make it a team thing then you may have other problems. By team thing I mean that you both get a say in how it goes down. She may not want you there but then she needs to provide pics, or texts. She needs to include you. If she excludes you then, in my opinion, she shouldn't be doing it. And finally, he's getting to fuck your wife. Let him pay for the damn room.
Ksmith
Male
You'll be surprised at how waiting at home for her when she's out with another man will make you feel. If you've gotten her this far just be extra attentive to her and reassure her that it's what you both want to do, otherwise she will be confused and angry if you decide to flip on her. I know first hand that it can break things between you if you pull back when she's ready to forge on.
I agree with you. Once she knows and he pestered her for awhile and she is ready. Just enjoy what unfolds.
Ksmith
Male
Remember you were the one that planted the seed, so enjoy the ride
Rules? Team Thing? Ha Ha! This woman has already taken the sex with others fantasy and made her own decisions. She’s fucking her old boyfriend and the husband has no say - none. And that is as it should be. So many guys on this site think they get to have a sex fantasy that includes the wife , and if the wife finally comes around she has to agree to his rules , ostensibly to show marriage solidarity. Horseshit. He got her horned up. She took the idea and ran with it in a way that suits her. That is her prerogative. He should count himself lucky she is telling him who, when, what and maybe letting him have sloppy seconds. Don’t kill his chances for a 3sum down the line by advising him to impose rules on her sport fucking. The faster and sluttier she becomes, the faster her will get to spit roast her.
weather you like it or not, now that you gotten her horny for her ex again she is going to fuck him whenever she want anyway, he is obviously a better lover than you so relax and enjoy her having some great sex
69jd69
Male
I strongly disagree that it's "as it should be". I agree that the horse is out of the corral in this case but I disagree that it is all about her. If it is, it is nothing more than acknowledged cheating and their marriage is in trouble. I'm particularly concerned that she chose an old lover that she fucked for 4 years. Yeah, she'll be comfortable but I suspect, if she was in it for 4 years, that there may be stronger feelings. Clearly there are couples that get into the dom wife/sub husband relationship, complete with humiliation...I'll fuck who I want and you'll like it little dick... Count me out. I believe in a team approach. You go have your fun, with my blessing, but we're in this together. Let me know who you will be with and where, let me know you are ok, send me pics (or invite me to participate), come back and share the details and let me reclaim you. I'm definitely a stag and don't play to the whole humiliation aspect. I enjoy her having fun but we do this together or not at all. That's made for a long and very fulfilling relationship and strong marriage. The foundation for all of it is communication. We both understand and share who we are and what we want...and she is and has always been my #1 and I hers...
The ownership model of marriage is dead. “We do this my way or not at all “ does not work because there is no veto power by one spouse over the sex life of another. Nor can one spouse dictate what sex practices the other must engage in. So many men desire a wife that will be brave, naked, and open to sex with other men. Such women are rare. Most women say “…no, never gonna happen” and that is it. No man could order his wife to fuck a stranger. And no one would object if she said no, no more than if a wife told her husband to eat a strangers cum and he said no. So, this “team” concept of sex is a myth. We are all free agents when it comes to sexual practices. No one needs permission to engage.
69jd69
Male
I don't know of anyone that is suggesting "ownership" or "We do it this way or not at all". I'm not sure I understand where you are getting the idea that anyone in this thread is "ordering" their partner to do anything. It's called discussing and agreeing or disagreeing. I agree that most women say "never gonna happen". I don't know of anyone in a modern western culture that would try and order their wife to do it after she said no. They would probably whine, cajole, and beg but ordering would quickly result in the couple explaining to the judge why the marriage should be terminated. And, in a marriage, there is veto power. You are either both in or the marriage gets terminated...and the spouse that wants to run free can run free. We clearly play in very different circles. I've been dabbling in this lifestyle for a long time and I can honestly say that I do not personally know a single couple that has a relationship as you describe. They engage in varying degrees of kink but they all do it as a team. Some of the wives play solo, some don't but it is with the knowledge and consent of their spouses or partners. I don't know what your life experience has been like but the team concept is what marriage is all about. In a marriage, you do need permission to engage or it is not a marriage...or it won't be for long. Bottom line, I suggest we agree to disagree.
For those of you following this thread, please share your perspectives on the above discussion. I accept that I could be misinformed. Am I? Let us know how things are in your relationships.
Of course she is... Start checking her panties or thong each time she goes out! Start enjoying getting worked up about what she might be doing!
I think you are right. The general idea behind this - also for the original poster of the thread - is to introduce a kink in THEIR sex life... that of the husband & wife. It should not matter who brought up the idea and how ran with it. Apperantly you guys are in a phase where you move this from fantasy to talk and now to - potentially - a reality.
I'm not there yet but hope to be soon. But in any case it can only work through communication as spouses. This cople need to both sit down and discuss what the rules and boundaries are and what the expectations are, to make sure that they are as aligned as possible, moving into this adventure.
ANd with that I mean: when do you communicate, will she record or not, will she play safe or not, when will she walk out if she's not comfortable, when will you get together and share the experiences. Also, does he know he is part of a play between him and her and what his role is; just so there is full transparancy, or does he think she's just cheating on him, when if fact she's not?
69jd69
Male
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