Weird (bad?) experience last night. Did I get cucked??

This is an interesting experience that both of you should learn from RIGHT now. Your wife enjoyed the treatment and you found your boundaries. It sounds like you never discussed hard NOs in the beginning. My wife won't admit it, but she loves being treated rough and flat-out dirty when she is in the mood. I knew this going in and I find it a turn on that it turns her on. If you did not know this was a possibility with your wife, and you are the one feeling disrespected (for her? Really?), then you two need to keep going with the sit-downs. I completely understand your anger with her being dismissive of your feelings, and frankly, I would have shut the whole thing down. Part of your nature is to make sure she is safe and secure, but she sounds like she enjoys a bit of mistreatment...when you made a scene it put her in a position. She was turned on with your consent and you were there to ensure it all went well. Then, you got booted. You need to discuss this and make sure you are both on the same page. If she enjoys it, can you be there for her and make sure she gets what she wants safely? Or will you create tension? If she got off without you there, you may well be on your way to a full cuck life instead of the stag. To me, once you give up control to the other man, your cucked. To hell with what mr blanket statement up there says.
That's the most important part of what you've written, and I've seen your take on cuckold & stag written elsewhere without this reference. These 2 words will make Webster, Cambridge, Britannica, Oxford, Macmillan, etc very happy knowing that you aren't re-writing their dictionary.
 
That's the most important part of what you've written, and I've seen your take on cuckold & stag written elsewhere without this reference. These 2 words will make Webster, Cambridge, Britannica, Oxford, Macmillan, etc very happy knowing that you aren't re-writing their dictionary.
Not sure I understand the intent here. Are you agreeing that it can be much deeper than that? That as culture and society grow so do terms and the states of the actions? Is it that I find the academic definition lacking in the personal nuance of such a topic?
 
Warning, this is pretty long.

So, not sure how I feel about the experience for us last night. My Mom stayed with the kids so we could get out of town for a night at a hotel.

Long story short, we brought a guy back to our hotel room, and he ended up being kind of abrasive. He was younger, probably early 20s and was not very respectful in my eyes. Didn’t seem that way at all earlier, but when we got him back to the room, he shifted into calling my wife a slut and a whore multiple times. The third time I told him to cut that ...... off. Not long after that he’s telling my wife he’s going to “wreck her pussy.”

At this point, I’m done with this, but my wife said it was ok, calm down. I think she could see I wasn’t happy, but I didn’t expect her to then ask ME to leave the room. I was kind of stunned, but said you’re sure and she said yes, it’s fine.

So I waited about three doors down by the elevator. I wanted to be close enough I could hear if anything unsafe came up, but not stand outside the door like “nothing to see here, my wife is just getting banged in there.” 😕 He came out about 20 minutes later. I stared him down, but he didn’t make eye contact with me. I’m still kind of pissed as I write this.

So I asked my wife if everything was ok and she said “yes, good now get over here.” We had great sex, she was very wet and eager. She was so wet I asked her just to make sure he wore a condom and she said of course. Good. I can’t lie, it was really great. Probably up there with the best we’ve ever had.

Then it all turned for me. Afterwards we’re talking about how things went and she said it was really good. I said, “okay, did you get any pictures or video?” No they didn’t, everything happened kind of fast. I’m not happy about that, but whatever. Uh ok, so tell me what happened.

Come to find out he was pretty aggressive and my wife evidently liked it. Said it reminded her of a couple times in college. Ok, so that’s new.

I wanted to know how big he was and she just said BIG. I asked how big like 7 inches? She just showed me with her hands and I was like fuuuuuuuck. And she showed me how big around and I understood why her pussy was so wet and felt like it did. Sounds like easily above 8” and thick. I have to be honest, that’s the biggest I know of my wife taking and not exactly sure how I feel about it. So yeah, he wasn’t all talk.

Then she tells me he tried to put it in her ass TWICE. I said, “why the fuck didn’t you call for me!?” And she said it’s fine, I’m a big girl I can handle myself. He stopped it. It was just in the moment, we were having fun. Uhhh okay. WTF.

The final straw for me is I ask her did she cum and she said he licked her pussy after he came and she did. Ok fine. Then it comes out that he came IN HER MOUTH. She proudly says “I swallowed” with a little giggle like I’m going to be happy about that. I said “I FUCKING TONGUE KISSED YOU AFTER!” And she’s just telling me to calm down, it’s hot. No big deal.

She was saying she thought this is what we wanted and started to feel bad. I didn’t want her to feel bad and assured he she did nothing wrong. Inside I’m conflicted though.

Anyway, I’ve just got some major confusion going on today. On one hand, it turns me on. On the other, I feel like I got semi-cuckolded and found out some things about my wife I might not like.

Has anyone had a similar experience? What did you do? How do you make things “right.”
I think you should have a conversation about boundaries and what makes each of you comfortable. It’s very easy to go with the flow but the flow sometimes takes you far away; it is very difficult to come back from there. Just my thoughts
 
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during one conversation with my wife, she told me she likes sex a little on the rough side, occasionally.

as her husband, there is no way i can do that. that is exactly why women need more than one lover. their BFs can do everything we husbands can't so they stay completely satisfied.

we make love & they fuck her.
 
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Not sure I understand the intent here. Are you agreeing that it can be much deeper than that? That as culture and society grow so do terms and the states of the actions? Is it that I find the academic definition lacking in the personal nuance of such a topic?
We can't apply our own definitions to things and expect the world around us to fall in line, agree or understand what you're trying to convey. You can call something anything you want, but it doesn't make it so. Language gives us the ability to effectively communicate on a level playing field, using your own definitions negates that.
 
We can't apply our own definitions to things and expect the world around us to fall in line, agree or understand what you're trying to convey. You can call something anything you want, but it doesn't make it so. Language gives us the ability to effectively communicate on a level playing field, using your own definitions negates that.
I see why you’re a cuck. Enjoy.
 
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The only weird part about this is your wife asking you to leave her alone with a stranger. I don't want to lump every guy in his twenties and teens together but from our experience they are usually far more aggressive and sometimes flat out abusive. I think someone said it right that a lot of it is because of the porn they watch. Dirty talk to these guys is calling your wife a dumb cunt and a whore. Rough sex is slapping her and forsing their dicks up and down her ass and throat. Something to keep in mind when screening for candidates.
 
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Cuckold definition isn't an opinion it's a fact - one can't disagree with a fact.
Lol, all definitions are based on the "opinion" of the masses, in terms of how people collectively use words, which can and often do evolve over time. This seems like one that is evolving as swinging / wife-sharing becomes more popular and various flavors of it emerge that people want to label and define.

But even if you want to interpret definitions as hard facts - according to Merriam Webster, the definition of a cuckold is: "a man whose wife is unfaithful." If a wife is acting with the approval of her husband, she is not being unfaithful, thus he is not a cuckold by that standard. So uhhh....

The idea that there is some hard and certain factual definition starts to fall apart though when you see that different definitions center on "infidelity" vs. "adultery" with one being more about a breach of trust / promise, and the other being a more religious term, which can mean any form of extra-marital sex, regardless of consent. There is definitely room for debate here but, ultimately, I think people will interpret it different based on how religious and how they view their marriage.

Really though, why even come in here and argue with this dude about how he wants to perceive his sexual identity? If you want to call yourself a cuckold, even if it doesn't fit the above definition, I'm not going to bust into your thread like the Merriam Webster Diction Enforcement police and try to correct you. To each their own... 🤷‍♂️
 
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Lol, all definitions are based on the "opinion" of the masses, in terms of how people collectively use words, which can and often do evolve over time. This seems like one that is evolving as swinging / wife-sharing becomes more popular and various flavors of it emerge that people want to label and define.

But even if you want to interpret definitions as hard facts - according to Merriam Webster, the definition of a cuckold is: "a man whose wife is unfaithful." If a wife is acting with the approval of her husband, she is not being unfaithful, thus he is not a cuckold by that standard. So uhhh....

The idea that there is some hard and certain factual definition starts to fall apart though when you see that different definitions center on "infidelity" vs. "adultery" with one being more about a breach of trust / promise, and the other being a more religious term, which can mean any form of extra-marital sex, regardless of consent. There is definitely room for debate here but, ultimately, I think people will interpret it different based on how religious and how they view their marriage.

Really though, why even come in here and argue with this dude about how he wants to perceive his sexual identity? If you want to call yourself a cuckold, even if it doesn't fit the above definition, I'm not going to bust into your thread like the Merriam Webster Diction Enforcement police and try to correct you. To each their own... 🤷‍♂️
It seems we all forget that there is also the role culture plays in this., Especially sexual, fetish, emotional subcultures where the concept of "normal" gets seriously skewed. I do appreciate the rigidity of definition, but dictionaries are changing their own definitions these days because of cultural shifts. You nailed it with the reduction of the definition, and yes, to each...
 
Lol, all definitions are based on the "opinion" of the masses, in terms of how people collectively use words, which can and often do evolve over time. This seems like one that is evolving as swinging / wife-sharing becomes more popular and various flavors of it emerge that people want to label and define.

But even if you want to interpret definitions as hard facts - according to Merriam Webster, the definition of a cuckold is: "a man whose wife is unfaithful." If a wife is acting with the approval of her husband, she is not being unfaithful, thus he is not a cuckold by that standard. So uhhh....

The idea that there is some hard and certain factual definition starts to fall apart though when you see that different definitions center on "infidelity" vs. "adultery" with one being more about a breach of trust / promise, and the other being a more religious term, which can mean any form of extra-marital sex, regardless of consent. There is definitely room for debate here but, ultimately, I think people will interpret it different based on how religious and how they view their marriage.

Really though, why even come in here and argue with this dude about how he wants to perceive his sexual identity? If you want to call yourself a cuckold, even if it doesn't fit the above definition, I'm not going to bust into your thread like the Merriam Webster Diction Enforcement police and try to correct you. To each their own... 🤷‍♂️
The definition of unfaithful completely ignores husband participation, it unfaithful to the marriage vows.

The masses, hmmm, considering that the LS is probably less than 1% of the population I'd say that doesn't qualify masses.

Just he calls himself chopped liver, doesn't make it so.
 
The definition of unfaithful completely ignores husband participation, it unfaithful to the marriage vows.

The masses, hmmm, considering that the LS is probably less than 1% of the population I'd say that doesn't qualify masses.

Just he calls himself chopped liver, doesn't make it so.
What vows? Traditional wedding vows include no explicit mention of boning other men. Seems pretty open to interpretation. Not sure why you're so hard up to prove it has to carry the specific meaning you want and police other's over it.

Just because you say its so, doesn't make it so... lol
 
1 - if your wife has sex with another man you're a cuckold, there is no such thing as "semi-cuckolded".
2 - this LS isn't for everyone
3 - the prime focus of this lifestyle is your wife's enjoyment NOT yours
4 - what you may not like is secondary to what she may like - that includes her being called what you consider verbal 'degradation'
5 - you seem to have a lot of rules: verbal, swallow, condom, being present, video, pics, etc - she seems otherwise saying more than once "it's fine."
6 - sometimes the sizzle is better than the steak
This is the point that I would say over a beer, you need an attitude adjustment or you both need to step away from this LS, cause it ain't gonna be pretty.
I have to disagree with you, everyone has different links.
 
What vows? Traditional wedding vows include no explicit mention of boning other men. Seems pretty open to interpretation. Not sure why you're so hard up to prove it has to carry the specific meaning you want and police other's over it.

Just because you say its so, doesn't make it so... lol
And it is interesting that this term is then not valid until the wedding vows are taken. So we both consent to an open sex life style, but we are not married, and since the definition uses the word “wife” specifically, then “cuck” doesn’t apply? So by his definition unfaithful is fluid… but cuck is not? And what of wife? Well, I see this kind of hard line thing pop up quite a bit and it is usually the classic cucks who demand we all adhere to their policies. I am done with this…let us all just enjoy our time how we see fit and not let others define us! Cheers to all, 2wheel!
 
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And it is interesting that this term is then not valid until the wedding vows are taken. So we both consent to an open sex life style, but we are not married, and since the definition uses the word “wife” specifically, then “cuck” doesn’t apply? So by his definition unfaithful is fluid… but cuck is not? And what of wife? Well, I see this kind of hard line thing pop up quite a bit and it is usually the classic cucks who demand we all adhere to their policies. I am done with this…let us all just enjoy our time how we see fit and not let others define us! Cheers to all, 2wheel!
Yeah, part of the issue is attempts to look for "factual" definitions delve into archaic culture. In ye olden days, it was presumed no one had sex before marriage, so there was probably no concept of cuckolding a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure wife-sharing or any variety is frowned upon in the bible but many people today are either non-religious or do not strictly adhere to more archaic religious codes of conduct.

While this site is pretty niche, no doubt, I think in modern culture, many people see a cuckold more as a man who unwillingly tolerates the continued infidelity of their wife or girlfriend, seemingly too weak to stop it or leave them, just as the original connotation was a man who could not "control his wife." The connotation of weakness the term implies, I guess plays into the fantasy of submissive dudes who want to be cucks.

On the other hand though, you don't typically hear people call a man who's wife / girlfriend cheated on him, who then divorces or ends the relationship a cuckold these days even if it may be applicable given the terms origin - I think partially because a more enlightened view is that it is not a man's responsibility or even prerogative to control his wife. Likewise, I doubt most people would hold the view that any man who engages in an mfm threesome is a cuck, suggesting the term is more situational.

Sounds like some people's desire to enforce an archaic black-and-white (no pun intended lol) interpretation is based some sort of cognitive dissonance type thing - its a belief they hold to be true and they need everyone else to believe the same thing. 🤷‍♂️
 
Language is the basis of which we all communicate on a level playing field. Accepted definitions do change over time and when they do it is then the NEW fact. Until then we need to use what is currently defined.

Extreme example:
Your next door neighbor says he's gonna ...... your lawn, you'd be pretty pissed. But he's using his own definition wherein the term ...... is what you know as mow.
 
She broke the agreement but not taking pics which she knows you wanted…sounds more like she will just do hookups and exclude you…dont see this ending well for you to be honest