I think your problem isn't the sex you had during your 'intermission', it's the lie you told afterwards. This LS is built on honesty especially in protecting the primary relationship and the lie is one very big strike that you'll need to overcome beforehand. The advice that it is best from you rather than hearsay is very valid, don't wait if you had that much action time is not on your side.
We were on a break!
- Thread starter KimmieKim
- Start date
After the first time, I was really scared. I didn't want to continue! Then my wife sat me down and told me she really likes this lifestyle and she will never stop. I was very jealous for a while, but when I saw that he loved me and would stay by my side forever, I calmed down and I didn’t want to she have sex only with me. I think your husband would understand your desires too.
How important is it to get your husband back? What if your husband doesn't go along? Will you accept a vanilla relationship to be a married couple again?
I understand completely your initial denial when you reunited with your husband. Probably a good idea if you guys were still shaky in the relationship and you are concerned about husband’s reaction. The guy who castigated you for lying is clueless. BUT you love the new sexual you, it is your life, and if you want to be free tell your husband now. Everything . No holds barred. Take control of your sex life , even if your husband is not on board. He does not own you or your sexuality.
I am nervous of his reaction and that he won’t be willing to accept that I openly explored my sexuality. I had some huge dicks and a lot of very skilled lovers and I think that will be very intimidating for him to hear.
I am getting so much good advise from men that enjoy lifestyle and it would be amazing if he was one of those men. I guess I just don’t know how to handle it if he isn’t and he rejects me for the fun I had outside of marriage.
This break opened up an entirely new part of my sexuality and it is something that I crave now but am not able to embrace.
It may be that it is difficult to hear. But if he hears it, it is best to come from you.
You were separated. If you want the relationship to thrive, do so from the point of truth.
He may have a hard time with it. If he does, keep communicating! He might need some time to process it.
So you are miserable living without the sex you crave , and are miserable loving with your possibly judgmental husband because ….? Because you think he will dump you ? I do not see what you have to lose by telling him about your experiences and what you need going forward. If husband says “…whoa , not with me…” then you know where you stand and can either say yes or no to his position. You can say “…I’m just telling you how things will be. Not your call.” Or you can say “…I love you - I’ll do it your way”. Or you can say good-bye. . If husband says “…sign me up” then you got the brass ring. But if you do nothing you will be miserable in your marriage for the rest of your life. Guaranteed . I wish I had followed by own advice😩
KimmieKim,
There are different ways to get from where you are to where you would like to be. Telling your husband you were a fucktoy while you were separated is a gamble in my mind. If you were going to do that, I would have done it right away.
Since time has passed, I would suggest opening the topic differently. Not sure if you are an avid reader or not, but my wife has opened conversations by telling me about a book she has read that contained some kinky stuff. She can then ask what I think about stuff and better gage where I am comfortable and where I am not. This is always risk free because she can be vague about whether this turns her on or not as we discuss scenarios. Please note that our evolution to stag/hotwife took several years of conversation before she let another man slide inside of her knowing she had my approval.
Now... If I had to guess, my wife had extramarital affairs prior to our open arrangement. While I would love to hear how she played with others, I do not expect she will ever share for the same fears as you have. She does not want to harm our relationship in any way.
If you are able to open the door moving forward to play with others, the past just becomes water under the bridge. Commit to be honest with your husband about your wants and needs moving forward and listen to him about his wants and needs. They may be much closer than you ever imagined possible. Or, you may have different needs.
Best of luck!
There are different ways to get from where you are to where you would like to be. Telling your husband you were a fucktoy while you were separated is a gamble in my mind. If you were going to do that, I would have done it right away.
Since time has passed, I would suggest opening the topic differently. Not sure if you are an avid reader or not, but my wife has opened conversations by telling me about a book she has read that contained some kinky stuff. She can then ask what I think about stuff and better gage where I am comfortable and where I am not. This is always risk free because she can be vague about whether this turns her on or not as we discuss scenarios. Please note that our evolution to stag/hotwife took several years of conversation before she let another man slide inside of her knowing she had my approval.
Now... If I had to guess, my wife had extramarital affairs prior to our open arrangement. While I would love to hear how she played with others, I do not expect she will ever share for the same fears as you have. She does not want to harm our relationship in any way.
If you are able to open the door moving forward to play with others, the past just becomes water under the bridge. Commit to be honest with your husband about your wants and needs moving forward and listen to him about his wants and needs. They may be much closer than you ever imagined possible. Or, you may have different needs.
Best of luck!
When my wife and I were on a break we both were anything but faithful. I bounced between 2 girls I knew. She (i found out later) was in a SPAM. She'd hooked up with quite a few guys and had a couple pregnancy scares. That doesn't bother me at all. I actually found it to be a turn on knowing random guys were cumming in her.
The question is, can you really handle not having all the cocks you crave ever again? Once Pandora's box gets opened, you can't shut it.
This is the third account name you've used to post the same spam. This account has also been reported. Stop spamming this site and spoiling it for genuine users you sick asshole!
So true. When we got back together she continued seeing other guys and I pretend not to notice.
if i may ask, how long have you been married, any kids? depending on circumstances, ity might be good to tell all & take your chances. also, curious why separation happened: financial, abuse, infidelity etc?
Ok, we are all listening now, what kind of crazy sexy and sharing- please, spare no details lol. 🍆😋😉💦
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