Thank you for this response, I really do appreciate it! My wife has said she does not want it set up if we were to add another guy...and goes on to say she would do it if it were with the right guy, place and time.
So, how did guys approach and meet your first guy? was that the friend? I don't know how to meet the right guy without setting something up and giving it a try!!..any ideas?
I can tell you what didn't work. We had a mutual friend that we both like and hang out with a lot, super comfortable with him, he has a house key for when we are out of town, has been a very close friend. He both agreed he would be a good choice and my wife seemed to not fight the idea if it was him. To be fair she has had a bit of a thing for him and it is easier if there is attraction. At the time he had a girlfriend who was a bit uptight about the whole situation. We agreed it would have to be my wife join them for a threesome vs him join us if she was going to sign off on it. We went that route. His GF was and is very condom oriented to the point my wife only engaged in oral, nothing else. More on this later.
We also tried a different friend , female with a new guy in her life post divorce. She talked about how great this guy was in bed to us everytime we hung out so it seemed like my wife again would join them leaving me in the lurch. It didn't go so great. My wife did not enjoy the experience, did not like him and it nearly killed ever getting something going.
We looked online on adult sites for a guy looking to join a couple and it was a huge waste of both our time, just a bunch of idiots looking to screw a woman, any woman, by any means they can. We looked through tons of profiles and had endless messages. Total waste of time.
So we pulled back on the idea. I came to the conclusion that as a straight man I had zero experience sourcing men for sex, go figure, I wasn't good at it. My wife is hot if I do say so myself and has men hitting on her all the time, usually much younger men as she looks half her age. She decided to just go out with a female friend of hers and see what happened. I was out of town for work so it was less pressure. She met a guy and she didn't mention being married. I was gone for about 10 days but stayed in the loop. I knew she met someone and stuff had happened but did not know she failed to reveal she was married. So she had the stress of telling me that and then we both had the stress of how to proceed with revealing she is married and recruiting a guy for a threesome. She is good at pitching things and it went over better than I thought it would. We still had to get to the point of meeting and getting together sexually, that was the hard part. We were like high school kids on a date trying to figure out what to do, it was an utter mess. No matter what you do it will go better than us that night.
Fast forward and it has been roughly a year. We see him as a couple and she sees him alone much more than we do as a couple, at least now. We met as a couple all the time for the first bit and then she started doing more and more solo. I am totally good with her doing that. In fact there are times we all get together now and I will just watch, other times I join in.
Very recently however our first friend from the beginning of this long rambling has taken a break from his prudish girlfriend. I was out drinking with him last week and he made sure to let me know that. I told my wife and she already knew. We''ll see if anything develops but that is the entirety of our experience in the lifestyle, not exactly seasoned veterans but we have dipped a toe in the pool if you will.
