It's dificult for many to understand. Ours is an admittedly strange and rare relationship which started when we were very young. My wife is very dominant by nature and has a marked sadistic componant to her personality. She enjoys wielding her power and athority over me and it turns her on sexually. In her defense I am a very submissive masochist who gets off on certian types of physical pain, humiliation,and a need to be obedient. The only way I can relate to women is in this manner. It may have come from an abusive early childhood. As you might imagine very few women want a weak effiminate sissy as a partner. Added to that, I have a micro penis,(< 3.0 inches) so I'm virtually incapable of performing coitus. So as I grew into puberty I knew I was different and could never get a girl. My future wife who was my next door neighbor when we were kids would tease me and humiliate me saying I was a sissy etc. Oddly at some point I went from hating that treatment to enjoying it. It was at least attention from a girl. Much better than being ignored. No body wants to be left out and I simply adapted to the fact that I was a wimp but at least she was interested in me.It wasn't in the normal way but it was better than nothing. She was a very good looking girl,way out of my league, but needed me to satisify her kinks. So a relationship developed albeit an odd one.She had boyfriends but always kept me in her wings in order to enjoy her other side. So as we got older and started to think about marriage,she knew she could have the best of both worlds, an obedient hubby she could exercise her dominant needs on and have real men on the side for sex without commitement. I had a beautiful wife whose treatment of me I loved and lived for. And even though our relationship sounds abusive it is not. We care for each other on an emotional and moral level. We keep it medically safe and never go beyond certian boundries even though those boundries are way out there for some folks. We know couples who fight like cats and dogs some where real ...... abounds. Our marriage is non toxic and my wife and I love one another.Good for both of you