I do also think that the whole desire to share my wife is an odd thing that I can’t really explain. On the one hand, the optics of her having sex with another man are incredibly erotic (in her case, this is a black lover on her pale white body so even more so). But it’s not just that. There is another, more powerful, urge on my part at least and that is a real need for others to experience what I f have enjoyed so much. Then, the idea that she is experiencing something more as well.
It’s a very strange and inexplicable combination of urges and desires that other people would find baffling, but is probably felt by others drawn to this forum.