Offering Free Advice to Wannabes and Newbies - Stag/Alpha Voyeur Only

Picking the right guy is the most critical piece of the puzzle, once you have gotten to yes. From what you have said, I would start very "relationship safe" with a low-risk guy that you trust and who isn't looking to find a woman for a relationship. I would also insist that it be a MFM scenario and that you plan it together rather than just letting it happen with her finding a guy. It may sound mechanical, but it is especially important with a first-time encounter that you establish boundaries and ground rules between you two and the guy. These ground rules should extend to all interactions with other men, not just the first one. One I have had is all communications with the other guy are open to both of us, not just her. You should be the only one communicating with him, especially in the beginning, until you get a better feeling for the guy. Another rule we had was no initiation of sex by the guy. He could let us know his schedule and availability, but we would reach out to him when we wanted to get together. You aren't giving her a blank check, so to speak, but creating a "new norm" of what cheating constitutes. There should still be clear defined boundaries that you both agree to, rather just winging it. Despite the unspontaneous nature that planning creates, the encounter will probably still be exciting and has a higher probability of success if you plan.
Yeah this all sounds good and is kind of the ideal situation I'd want. One issue is finding that guy - I have one really close friend that I definitely trust, whose wife basically doesn't have sex with him and who I think my wife kind of likes and feels sorry for. She insists she doesn't really find him attractive and says she only teases him (really she kind of flirts with him) because "he's harmless." He's a bit of a chick-magnet though and women always talk to him when we go out. My wife knows this and I think that's what might make him attractive - that other women want him (except his wife lol). Yet, I have zero fear she would ever leave me for him, they are just not compatible in that way and he also would never go behind my back. It's a bit weird though since my wife knows his wife and he works for me. I am also not sure how I would feel repeatedly seeing a dude who had fucked my wife in social settings.

Like you say, it is hard to predict exactly how I'd feel the first time. If it turns out I feel a lot more jealousy than I anticipate, it would be a lot easier not having to see the guy again.

In terms of controlling the sexual encounters, it concerns me that if she had sex with a friend we often see, it provides more opportunity for unplanned things to happen. Like what if she decides "well he already fucked me, why not let him do it again" at a time where I don't know about it. I think I could probably trust my wife not to do this but you never know.

Beyond this, I have no one I would trust and feel comfortable doing this with.

You could also start with "soft" encounters, with maybe the guy just watching or other types of activities that don't involve intercourse.
Yeah, I think I would definitely start this way, with maybe just a oral. I think an ideal scenario is I start fooling around with my wife, undressing her, and then begin with something like me going down on her, then the other guy takes his cock out for her to stroke or her sucking my cock while I open her legs so the other guy can touch her pussy, maybe go down on her. Then I'd fuck her while he puts his cock near her mouth, prompting her to suck it.

I think if we can manage to have one good first encounter, it will totally change her attitude. She often comes up with all sorts of rationale in her head as to why she isn't going to like something but then once she experiences it, she totally changes her mind. Case and point - she had never eaten Indian food when we first met so I tried taking her to an Indian restaurant but she wouldn't get out of the car. She had various ridiculous reasons she didn't want to even try it. I thought it was so crazy I almost questioned dating her lol... then sometime later she relented, loved it and now frequently cooks Indian dishes / forces me to go out for it even if I'm not in the mood.

This seems much the same to me. Knowing how she is, I am 100% sure she would very much enjoy an MFM experience (provided the other dude doesn't ruin it) but she is hung up on various notions of why it is abnormal and not good for our marriage.

This is why deliberately planning it seems challenging. Maybe we can eventually get there but it is very hard for her to have a sober conversation about it, outside of the arousal of us having sex. However, I feel like if we were in the right situation, where she'd had a couple drinks to relax, we got to talking with some guy she was attracted to, who got what was going on, and then I put the moves on her / coaxed her to let the other guy touch her, things would take off from there. I think if that worked out, then it would be possible to have a conversation about planning the next encounter.

I did actually one time, a few years ago, when I first introduced this idea to her, try to get her to meet a guy at a hotel with me, who would initially just take photos / video of us having sex... and then maybe more could happen if she wanted. She initially kind of consented but then as I was making arrangements to actually do it, she suddenly got upset, said she didn't want it and backed out. Who knows though, we're definitely in a different place now and maybe that could work if I tried it again at some point. I think a big part of her reluctance is also insecurity about someone else seeing her body and it seems like her confidence about that is improving between going to the gym and noticing more how when she goes out with her friends, guys mostly try to hit on her.

Maybe I'll bring up planning something again eventually if nothing more spontaneous happens. I think maybe in the next year or so it could be the right time.

If you are not doing it already I would be asking her if there is anyone she is attracted to, that you both know, that she could imagine being in a threesome with, so that you can incorporate him in your sex talk, even if he wouldn't eventually be your first threesome guy.

I am not really sure I'd want to know that and incorporating someone we both know into sex talk seems like it would potentially promote cheating. One of the big things I am afraid of in pushing the sharing further currently, is that my wife will take it as a green-light to do something (even though I've made it clear I'd consider it cheating if she did something without my knowledge). Given how difficult it is for her to soberly talk about this and how long its taken for her to gradually admit more and more that it turns her on, I think there is a chance she could decide that, since I want her to fuck another guy but she is afraid to do it with me, maybe she could do a trial-run and fuck someone by herself. Having sex talk about a specific person almost seems like a green-light to do something with them.

That said, it also depends who it was. If it was some guy I had a sort of adversarial or competitive relationship with, like the douchebag husbands of a couple of her friends, it would definitely create negative feelings. On the other hand, if it was just some random dude removed from our social life, like a contractor doing work at the house, I don't think I'd mind. You don't know who its going to be though until you pry haha... and I'm not sure I want to find out.

I do know the type of guys she likes though and I feel like it might be better to meet someone who fit the description but who was removed from our social life.

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions. I feel like your experience and style of sharing is pretty relevant to what I'm hoping to accomplish.
 
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Yeah this all sounds good and is kind of the ideal situation I'd want. One issue is finding that guy - I have one really close friend that I definitely trust, whose wife basically doesn't have sex with him and who I think my wife kind of likes and feels sorry for. She insists she doesn't really find him attractive and says she only teases him (really she kind of flirts with him) because "he's harmless." He's a bit of a chick-magnet though and women always talk to him when we go out. My wife knows this and I think that's what might make him attractive - that other women want him (except his wife lol). Yet, I have zero fear she would ever leave me for him, they are just not compatible in that way and he also would never go behind my back. It's a bit weird though since my wife knows his wife and he works for me. I am also not sure how I would feel repeatedly seeing a dude who had fucked my wife in social settings.

Like you say, it is hard to predict exactly how I'd feel the first time. If it turns out I feel a lot more jealousy than I anticipate, it would be a lot easier not having to see the guy again.

In terms of controlling the sexual encounters, it concerns me that if she had sex with a friend we often see, it provides more opportunity for unplanned things to happen. Like what if she decides "well he already fucked me, why not let him do it again" at a time where I don't know about it. I think I could probably trust my wife not to do this but you never know.

Beyond this, I have no one I would trust and feel comfortable doing this with.


Yeah, I think I would definitely start this way, with maybe just a oral. I think an ideal scenario is I start fooling around with my wife, undressing her, and then begin with something like me going down on her, then the other guy takes his cock out for her to stroke or her sucking my cock while I open her legs so the other guy can touch her pussy, maybe go down on her. Then I'd fuck her while he puts his cock near her mouth, prompting her to suck it.

I think if we can manage to have one good first encounter, it will totally change her attitude. She often comes up with all sorts of rationale in her head as to why she isn't going to like something but then once she experiences it, she totally changes her mind. Case and point - she had never eaten Indian food when we first met so I tried taking her to an Indian restaurant but she wouldn't get out of the car. She had various ridiculous reasons she didn't want to even try it. I thought it was so crazy I almost questioned dating her lol... then sometime later she relented, loved it and now frequently cooks Indian dishes / forces me to go out for it even if I'm not in the mood.

This seems much the same to me. Knowing how she is, I am 100% sure she would very much enjoy an MFM experience (provided the other dude doesn't ruin it) but she is hung up on various notions of why it is abnormal and not good for our marriage.

This is why deliberately planning it seems challenging. Maybe we can eventually get there but it is very hard for her to have a sober conversation about it, outside of the arousal of us having sex. However, I feel like if we were in the right situation, where she'd had a couple drinks to relax, we got to talking with some guy she was attracted to, who got what was going on, and then I put the moves on her / coaxed her to let the other guy touch her, things would take off from there. I think if that worked out, then it would be possible to have a conversation about planning the next encounter.

I did actually one time, a few years ago, when I first introduced this idea to her, try to get her to meet a guy at a hotel with me, who would initially just take photos / video of us having sex... and then maybe more could happen if she wanted. She initially kind of consented but then as I was making arrangements to actually do it, she suddenly got upset, said she didn't want it and backed out. Who knows though, we're definitely in a different place now and maybe that could work if I tried it again at some point. I think a big part of her reluctance is also insecurity about someone else seeing her body and it seems like her confidence about that is improving between going to the gym and noticing more how when she goes out with her friends, guys mostly try to hit on her.

Maybe I'll bring up planning something again eventually if nothing more spontaneous happens. I think maybe in the next year or so it could be the right time.



I am not really sure I'd want to know that and incorporating someone we both know into sex talk seems like it would potentially promote cheating. One of the big things I am afraid of in pushing the sharing further currently, is that my wife will take it as a green-light to do something (even though I've made it clear I'd consider it cheating if she did something without my knowledge). Given how difficult it is for her to soberly talk about this and how long its taken for her to gradually admit more and more that it turns her on, I think there is a chance she could decide that, since I want her to fuck another guy but she is afraid to do it with me, maybe she could do a trial-run and fuck someone by herself. Having sex talk about a specific person almost seems like a green-light to do something with them.

That said, it also depends who it was. If it was some guy I had a sort of adversarial or competitive relationship with, like the douchebag husbands of a couple of her friends, it would definitely create negative feelings. On the other hand, if it was just some random dude removed from our social life, like a contractor doing work at the house, I don't think I'd mind. You don't know who its going to be though until you pry haha... and I'm not sure I want to find out.

I do know the type of guys she likes though and I feel like it might be better to meet someone who fit the description but who was removed from our social life.

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions. I feel like your experience and style of sharing is pretty relevant to what I'm hoping to accomplish.
Hopefully I won't come off as too preachy and rambling, but here goes. Our rules were very explicit with both of us actively working to make certain the other was secure in the relationship. I may get flamed on here for some of this. 😄

I didn't ask you some background questions and wants which played a big role in all my sharing relationships, especially with my wife. So here are ours which hopefully you can take away some things for yourselves.

Both my wife and I when we started preferred bareback (I discovered i really enjoyed sloppy seconds after doing it too) which then brought up the issue of birth control and how to be safe from a health perspective. She was on the pill but after our first pregnancy we agreed she should stop taking it. Those 2 parameters were the start that pushed us towards long-term relationships.

Another issue was taking pictures and videos which was something I really enjoyed and she later discovered she really enjoyed viewing as well. Any decent guy would need to trust us with the media. Mutual trust popped up as the core quality we were seeking and offering, because for all this we would need a guy who was transparent and honest.

We also wanted partners that were discrete. Our lifestyle was never exposed to our family, vanilla friends or kids even over 12 years of being involved which, I believe, is a validation of our process. We wouldn't have been crushed on my side had it come out, but her family would have been a different story.

She had to like the guy obviously, but so did I; not in a sexual way, rather getting along or a friendship. I wasn't looking for, nor was she, some insecure egotistical guy out to prove something. We wanted friendly, exploring, learning and maybe teaching. Fortunately I have a real good sixth sense about people which kept us from picking bad partners.

Along these lines, I strongly recommend picking someone you know already and trust. It complicates things in some ways, but with the right guy those are outweighed by knowing their background and personality. If you are like me, which I think is the case, you are the alpha sharing your wife. It won't bother you that you see the guy in your social circle if you pick the right guy or guy(s). He is the guest you are the host. It isn't submissive for you to see them. Mine actually acted submissive to me in social interactions and all were very masculine guys (read my stories).

The birth control issue also took us out of playing with full intercourse between her next 2 pregnancies (3 years inbetween) which took alot of patience after doing our first "real" threesome during her second. We did oral only and pictures, plus our FMF threesomes happened during this "intermission". Those were fun but not my favorite. I tried to find a vasectomy safe guy, but she wasn't into older men who were the only guys I could find who had gotten the procedure. After our third she had her tubes tied and I got a vasectomy as well.

Basically by our requirements we had really slimmed down the available pool of potential partners we had to chose from and it took a lot of work and most definitely a lot of patience to find suitable partners. I have a story on here "Petite Wife College Athlete" which describes our process in some detail. Our process was also centered around the idea of us "First". The partners were included to "enhance" our relationship, not replace the other. If it ever appeared that an extra or couple was a problem, even briefly for non-sex life events, we agreed we both had the right to decide to back off.

I am hearing in your words you want "together encounters" not "separate encounters", similar to the way we approached it. I'm a Voyuer Alpha not submissive cuck (although there is nothing wrong with that in Seinfeld speak), which can be a difficult concept for some women to understand based on popular misperceptions of cuckolding. It is an important conversation to have with your wife IMO about your insecurities. There is nothing wrong with having insecurities, we all have them, especially on your most important relationship.

I would also listen to her when she says she is afraid she will get carried away. You don't want that to happen, so you need to be clear that this isn't a "greenlight" to do whatever she wants, but a redefining of fidelity; it isn't chaos but hard and fast rules even if those are untraditional rules. State things explicitly, no "assuming". One of our rules was we always had sex (to include kissing or petting) together (she wanted it that way as well with the women). If she or I were to have sex without the other present that would have been cheating. If she ran into the guy or me a woman that conversation would be told to the other (which was fun actually). Again, we both had veto power at any time, which we each only used once.

The most critical boundary you should commit to each other is that neither one of you will do anything or allow anything to happen that you are uncomfortable with doing. No "going along" or taking "one for the team". This requires both of you to be honest with yourselves. It is okay to be insecure with something by saying no. It is also important to self-reflect on when something changes from an ask to pestering pressure.

As competitive guys, you should weed them out and you should be the "dominant" male in all encounters (you being dominant is important for your wife in a standard male led relationship, so don't lose it. It is different in female led relationships), although I was always a friendly, polite, benevolent host, which is what I recommend.

I used subtle but clear mannerisms to get this across (Funny how it works with guys) such as; i always setup our get togethers, I was the one greeting them at the door with her joining later, they got a strong handshake with eye contact, i was typically their only point of contact outside our get togethers. She also interacted with me, make eye contact, mouthing "I love you" or "you are wonderful", asking what they should do next during stops. She overtly did things for me she knew I liked watching. This is easy if your wife is collaborating because the guys are often as nervous as you. They will want you talking to break the tension. It should be a threeway conversation and interacton, not a quiet 2-way interaction with you as an outside observer. It's just like having a buddy overto your house; you wouldn't expect him to come over to hang-out with your wife alone, but interact with her only with you. Same thing here.

Also don't worry about her thinking she will be uncomfortable with you there the first time. Mine said the same thing our first time which was absolutely not the case. The one time i left the room for a few minutes while she was still "engaged with the guy" she felt like something was missing without me there.

Your wife should be onboard to help ease your insecurities especially for the first time. You may be the driver behind sharing, but you're still human with feelings and doubts. She should know directly that you do not want to lose her sharing her (even if you mention that you think that is a remote possibility) but that you want it to make your marriage stronger which you know it can. You can tell her you researched it. 😄

One rule my wife wanted, which she told the guys, to avoid what happened once with a covert candidate guy; if a guy ever mentioned wanting to see her alone, even joking, it would be over immediately for good. We never had to use it. She also let the guys know all communications, whispers etc. were shared. If you pick right the guys get it; they are a privileged guest you both are inviting to join you.

I feel this relates because you and I are alike separated by 2 decades. In your posts I hear the same feelings i had with similar concerns before my wife and I had our first threesome. My recommendation is patience, as you are doing. Sharing will make even a great marriage better. It does complicate things somewhat, but it should be in a fun secret between you two way. Start with things together by yourselves, which you are already doing with fantasy talk, etc. then move on to being watched, foreplay only, oral only or some limited partner play to start if needed to make you both comfortable.

I remember the moment I felt completely relaxed and connected to my wife in a threesome. After the guy's first orgasm they were both sitting on the floor, with her back against his chest, their legs out in front of them, her inside his legs and his arms around her with his hands palms down on her thighs. She lifts her knees up exposing her pussy, telling the guy to spread her pussy lips so i can see her cum filled pussy. It was a wow moment. It was a gorgeous picture too with her having the most amazing sultry smile.
 
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Hopefully I won't come off as too preachy and rambling, but here goes. Our rules were very explicit with both of us actively working to make certain the other was secure in the relationship. I may get flamed on here for some of this. 😄
Just want to say up-front, fantastic post - it definitely speaks to me and how I'd like to see things play out.

How all this relates is that I feel you and I are kindred spirits in a way separated by 2 decades.
I'm a Voyeur Alpha
Haha, certainly seems to be the case and Voyeur Alpha is how I'd describe myself. What turns me on is the idea of seeing her pleasured and acting "naughty" for me, along with joining in at some point. I am sure she would also really get off on "performing" for me.

You should be the "dominant" male in all encounters (you being dominant is important for your wife in a standard male led relationship, so don't lose it.
Yeah, this is definitely true. It would be a huge turn-off for my wife to see me in a subordinate role.

If you are like me, which I think is the case, you are the alpha sharing your wife. It won't bother you that you see the guy in your social circle if you pick the right guy or guy(s).... If you pick right the guys get it; they are a privileged guest you both are inviting to join you.

Well yeah, if it's the right guy. If it ended up being a particular friend I've thought about, I know I'd have no issue in that regard. I am just hesitant to ask her about men she's attracted to that we know since I imagine they might also be more dominant alpha-type men, given she picked me. That isn't necessarily bad, as long as they're the right type. Like my buddy, who I think is a possibility, is an alpha type but he's also very respectful and would understand his role. The problem is, many are those "insecure egotistical guys out to prove something."

I think the key is feeling that they know they are an invited, privileged guest.

I remember the moment I felt completely relaxed and connected to my wife in a threesome after she had finished with a guy after his first orgasm that night. They were both sitting on the floor with her back against his chest, both with legs out in front of them, her inside his legs and his arms around her laying palms down on her thighs. She lifts her knees up exposing her pussy and then tells the guy to spread her pussy lips so i can see her cum filled pussy. It was a wow moment. He did as she asked. It was a gorgeous picture with her having the most amazing sultry smile.
That sounds amazing.

I think your method of play makes sense and is something I'd look to emulate if things move forward. It would probably make my wife more comfortable as well. Thanks for writing this up.
 
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I have an original one-sentence quip that I think encapsulates the lifestyle; "You can be anything to your partner but new, however in the lifestyle you can share new with them." Most affairs are about the excitement of the new rather than sex. We all become familiar to our partners if the relationship goes long enough as we move out of the euphoric new relationship phase. This is a known and well documented process for all relationships; healthy or unhealthy. A sharing relationship allows a couple to experience new together, honestly and in what I would argue is a healthier way. It is more fun too. In addition it comes with lots of personal and relationship development as a benefit. It is a fantastic pressure release valve that can, when done right, provide positive outcomes rather than the negative outcomes that the betrayal of cheating produces.

Now I do know there are some who cheat for the excitement that comes with the dishonesty of sneaking around. For those types no relationship will ever work for them.

Some here may say that my ideas will plan any spontaneity out of everything. To which I say, the newness of the scenario will take care of bringing out exciting memorable sex, with more amazing to cum, if you avoid serious mistakes. I have personally known couples where a bad first experience set back their swapping or sharing by years if ever.

The planning of a first experience will establish how it goes in the future or doesn't go. It sets a precedence for the rules and boundaries that follow, even as you change those as you gain experience. Mistakes and charged emotions are to be expected. It is a learning experience after all. If you approach it with that attitude, and avoid big mistakes (i.e. pick the right guy and talk openly) it will bring you much closer.

They way my wife and I did it, which is comparable to views you have expressed, is that we were doing this together. Even if I was the driver behind opening up our sex life because I wanted to watch her having sex with another guy(s) and enjoying herself, she knew, because I told her in honest vulnerable terms, that there was a pull of desire and yet also a tug of jealousy and insecurity. A woman also has insecurities about her body and performance. If during your interactions, before and after you both remember these vulnerabilities by consciously reassuring each other you will be fine. You will also both grow more confident in yourselves and marriage.
 
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Our first guy was more of a beta type guy, but salt of the Earth person who was a great all around guy and really perfect first for us. The wife loved him in a brotherly way. He and i were great friends too. She was really turned on by him as well, since he was so different from any of her 3 partners (yes she had only had 3 previous sexual partners when we started sharing and i was one of the 3). He would never say an unkind word about anyone. I think this was very freeing for my wife since she had no fear of first-time criticism, even though she was drop dead gorgeous, which I have seen effect many women.

Having him as our first also helped when i was a little solemn (maybe grumpy is a better word lol) because it hadn't been as interactive with me as i expected. I felt like an excluded observer, which wasn't their fault because that is how 1-on-1 sex goes logically. I didn't say anything during because i didn't want to interrupt (not understanding my role). I recovered from my melancholy enough to give it another go by inviting him back the next night which turned into 2 more nights. Two more amazing nights i might add, with us naked most of the time except when going out for food. It was hours of drinking wine, laughing, watching the videos we made and of course sex.

We didn't have the benefit of the Internet to guide us. We were winging it. All the guys after him were Alpha. I don't want to give away too many details about the guys here as it could identify them, but they were the "intimidating guys" by career and accomplishments, involving masculine endeavours, in our social circle. They all treated me with deference at our get togethers or outside in normie life. One explained that I was one of the most confident self-aware guys he knew, because he would be too insecure himself to share a woman he loved, even though he had seen the benefits it brought to us. I guess even "chick magnets" can be insecure.
 
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Questions - First Time with Younger New Couple (True Story)

Question if i may; this Alpha "friend" you mention is he someone you know really well or just an acquaintance? I ask because I see many guys confuse the two thereby ending up with all sorts of problems when they choose the latter rather than the former.

Are you comfortable approaching him about a threesome (or have you already told him you are interested in that genres) from his reaction standpoint? Most importantly is he a man of integrity?

In my opinion the lifestyle tests people and by extention their relationships. If both partners are honest with the other and at least one of them is sufficiently self-aware (the toughest task as we all want to be the superhero in our own stories) the lifestyle brings phenomenal relationship development. In relationships that are missing any 1 or both of these 2 ingredients, the lifestyle will always identify problems, that if not corrected, will lead to misery and the demise of that union. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

Personal example for me happened when I was a 3rd with a much younger newbie couple a few years ago. The woman, "K", is a very petite 4'11", 40-year-old brown haired beauty with brown eyes. She wasn't rail thin but wasn't fat either with a solid post-gymnast body. She was a somewhat naive woman but had a feisty streak in her. Not an ideal combination truthfully, but she was a good mom and wife who wanted more passion in her life. She had only had a few inexperienced young sexual lovers before she married her hubby "J" at 23 and felt like she missed out on something. They had a couple of kids who were now teens, so they had more free time.

J was a big bearded thick guy who was an average height of about 5'10" I would guess. He had a smallish penis at 4" with an average thickness. He wasn't overly sexually experienced either, but was trying to liven things up from his reading online. He was a devoted husband who really loved her, was easy going and humble. I really liked him, got what was going on, wanted to help him out because he was such a nice guy and had a beautiful curious anxious wife. Their relationship dynamic initially concerned me but when I talked with her separately, which I like to do with newbie couples, she admitted privately that she should be easier on hubby and that she was very happy with him for setting this up which was a relationship arrangement she didn't know existed. He was hipper and more with it in her eyes along with being more exciting.

He really wanted to watch her having sex taking a bigger cock, which I at 8" and very thick (almost 7" around with a head larger around than shaft) met the criteria. We met on Craigslist when it was still around and i spent several nights exchanging dozens of emails with him learning what he/they wanted. I also figured out later another criteria I met was my age with his thinking being that she wouldn't fall for a much older guy (I have seen this same reasoning lately with other new couples as an aside). I also quizzed him alone too, even though I knew what he wanted from our emails, to see if he was still comfortable with me now that we had met in person. He was ready to give her a fuck with a larger cock. I was in.

First night with them I almost felt like a newbie as I was sitting on the couch with her, with him seated across from us in a lounge chair. I planned on taking it slow, but a few minutes of smalltalk and she scooted close and began unbuttoning my shirt like she had done this before. She had me undressed before she was naked. I looked over at J mouthing to him it was okay for him to get his cameras out. She commented "oh my" as she grabbed my cock then bent over still clothed to take me in her mouth. It wasn't long before she stopped and stood up to take off all her clothes.

J by this time had his video camera going and now had his still camera up taking pix with K now completely undressed. He was obviously enjoying himself. Standing there naked she looked like a small doll without her toy dress. Her almost B breasts were still firm and her trimmed pussy hair outlined nice protruding outer lips which concealed her inner lips. No iris shaped inner labia on her. She had a coin slot vagina with a swollen and puffy outer labia that closed her pussy lips tightly together giving the appearance of sealing her pussy opening closed. She immediately, like a porn star, grabbed my cock in one hand as she propped one leg over me sitting on the couch, with the other leg straight on the floor, she squatted down using her bent leg to push down onto my cock, sliding it inside her slowly, but deliberately, as she leaned into the couch back with her knee. It was kind of an ego boost watching the look on her face as she took me inside her. This was a woman who had never had a larger cock in her. J was loving it.

Over the next few hours I did K from behind, on the floor on top of me, cowgirl and straight missionary which is how I finished unloading my first orgasm inside her after she gave me permission. She took all my me inside her despite her short stature. When i was cumming in her, i grabbed both her small ass cheeks with my hands by her sides with my entire 200 lbs. plus of weight ontop of her as i thrust vigorously deep into her pressing fully in as i squirted my semen inside he wet small pussy. She loved it like the new experience it was for her. My second cum was inside her pussy as well. J loved her creampie pictures and he fucked her after my second shot inside her. K didn't look bored but also didn't appear overly enthused while having sex with J which was a little concerning. He told me later she was more into than normal. I went back about 3 times a month for about 7 months. I used my dominate role with her to create a three-way interaction rather than J just watching. I made her ask J for permission for a variety of things we did (ask your husband if I can cum on your lips) and commanded her to do poses for him that i knew he would enjoy, since we liked the same things. Her attitude when having sex with J was really good by the end of that time too, which I felt great about.

They were coming over to my place for the first time one night. New Year's Eve in fact. Out of the blue she texts me that her hubby is in the shower so she wanted to tell me something. She wanted to see me without her husband some time. I knew it was her as they had completely different texting syntaxes and styles. I told her I would only do that with his permission. I even volunteered the suggestion of taking a video for him as an idea if he was open to it. I did then state infatically that without his permission I would not do anything with her, sexual or platonic.

When they got to my place they were fussing with each other (one of the hazards of being a 3rd solo guy) about her text. He evidently surprised her out of the shower before she could delete them. I would have told him soon regardless. Anyway I agreed with him when they asked my opinion. I was gentle but firm, in my statement mostly directed to her, that honesty was a necessity in the lifestyle. He already knew I assume from reading my response to her earlier that I agreed with him. I then expanded on the message by telling her that without trust between the couple the lifestyle always leads to bad outcomes that can uproot your life. Even when one partner leaves for someone the think is better, those unions don't work out either. They settled down as she seemed to admit to her mistake after listening to our points. I could also tell he was real happy with me for being a stand up guy.

Anyway, he still wanted to play and so did she, so we had a nice long "last" night playing together. It was a lot of fun, but I never entertained any of several invitations they extended to me afterwards because I felt the betrayal by her was a sign their relationship was headed for trouble. I also know how I would feel if I was the guy in the couple thinking my woman wanted the other guy for a relationship. I didn't want to be involved in this type of situation. Although I predicted their breakup prematurely as they are fortunately still together. They found another guy that worked out for them. He was a nice guy, but someone she wouldn't leave him for i'm certain. I also offered J some tips on how to shore up his relationship with K (not all sexual) which seem to be getting results. We're still phone acquaintances who are friendly, just nothing more. I think she finally concluded that having her cake and eating it too, which she throughly enjoyed, wasn't something she would find in another man with all his other qualities.

He gave me a great recommendation to another couple looking for a solo guy, which went very well until I got into a new relationship. My new relationship also gave me a perfect out as to why I was not coming around anymore to spare K's feelings.

I have another example of a long-term swapping relationship my wife and I were involved with which was fantastic for years until it wasn't, which I may write about on another day depending on interest. I do think real-world examples of failures as well as successes give people a better understanding of the lifestyle.
 
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Questions - First Time with Younger New Couple (True Story)

Question if i may; this Alpha "friend" you mention is he someone you know really well or just an acquaintance? I ask because I see many guys confuse the two thereby ending up with all sorts of problems when they choose the latter rather than the former.

Are you comfortable approaching him about a threesome (or have you already told him you are interested in that genres) from his reaction standpoint? Most importantly is he a man of integrity?
Yeah, the guy I mentioned is my closest friend. We started working together 15+ years ago at another company and now he works for me (the latter part making this a bit weird but also good in the way that it helps solidify my position as the dominant male). We've gone out a lot over the years and he confides in me about his various marriage issues. One time he told me it had been over 4 months without sex. My wife know about and is sympathetic to this and it makes me think she might like to pity-fuck him. She would probably get off on demonstrating how a real woman fucks.

I have no fear he would move in on my wife, he's a totally stand-up guy I trust more than anyone. If anything, I think it could be hard to make something happen because he'd feel really worried about how I'd feel / doing anything wrong and upsetting me.

I also don't see my wife developing feelings - she likes him a lot as a friend and generally fun guy but he's not quite her type. He has a few qualities or deficiencies that I know would never work for her as relationship material. We both have similar builds and, at least from what he's said, his cock is smaller. He jokes sometimes about having a small dick because he's Irish but I asked if he was serious one time and he said no, its not big but its like 6". Based on the fantasies she's told me and the toys she prefers, I think my wife is more interested in multiple cocks than big cocks, so that should be fine.

In terms of him being receptive, we did almost get into an MFM one time with a girl I picked up at a bar before I was married. The girl was clearly trying to make an MFM happen but I had promised my friend before we went out that I wouldn't let him get into any trouble, so I fulfilled my duty and nothing happened. That episode occasionally comes up and to this day he regrets it didn't happen.

Interestingly, over the summer, we went out to a bar together and after he was kind of drunk, he asked me straight-up if my wife and I were swingers or had an open marriage. I asked why he thought that and he said my wife just kind of gave him that vibe and he kept pressing me to admit it, saying it was okay to tell him, he wouldn't judge. Partially I guess he thought somehow that my wife would be okay with my fucking other women, which is definitely not the case as far as my wife would tell you. But also I am sure it is partly due to how sexy my wife dresses sometimes and how she can be kind of flirty. I told my wife about this because I thought it would be interesting for her to know / consider. She was embarrassed and couldn't believe it, because I think she is kind of naive sometimes about the extent to which men interpret every interaction with our cocks. She sees him as "safe" and like a brother, so it just "harmless fun." He's a bit of a dirty dog like me though and I am sure he interprets it in more of a sexual way.

I've also kind of hinted to him indirectly that I'd share my wife in an MFM. I didn't outright say with him but I think I said something along the lines that I was desperate to live it up a bit more, have some sexual adventure before we're old, even if was with my wife, suggesting it would be hot to watch some real-life porn or spitroast a chick. He's perceptive and I imagine he kind of gets what I'm laying down, even though neither of us directly acknowledged it.

I don't remember all the conversations but I feel like when we've been drinking recently, he's said some things that made me feel like maybe he was starting to think about it.

Interestingly, we went out a couple nights ago for a big company party and I drank so much I don't remember all of it but apparently when we were all dancing I touched up on his wife, which he seemed cool with and I think he probably did a bit of the same on mine, although he didn't say it outright.

Just him, my wife and another single female friend are going out next month to a club, so who knows what might happen. I'm not expecting anything significant but who knows.

I have another example of a long-term swapping relationship my wife and I were involved with which was fantastic for years until it wasn't, which I may write about on another day depending on interest. I do think real-world examples of failures as well as successes give people a better understanding of the lifestyle.
Yeah, that would be interesting to hear about where things can potentially go wrong.
 
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If you haven't already read my story "Surprise First Time MFM with Best Friend" I think it might offer some suggestions for approaching your friend. My wife thoroughly enjoyed that whole process of planning (scheming) and carrying out our surprise. It was a lot of fun.

I am going to private chat you later on with an analysis I did of the situation referenced in another thread, which is the only other thread besides this one, where we both posted today "hint, hint".

I'm not going to publicly post it because it involves a diagnosis and is about a new popular poster that the biased trolls on here would flame me out over and/or try to get me banned. I think you will find it both entertaining and informative.
 
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BTW I don't know your friend, but your declaration of him being a chick magnet is incongruent with a few things you have referenced.

Chick magnets don't go months without sex typically because
1. Their wives know they are chick magnets and wouldn't dare to take the chance of leaving "their turf" vulnerable (she knows him best).
2. Chick magnets typically won't put up with it. There are exceptions but I haven't seen that continuing for even a month with all the Alpha's I know.
3. Women chat up gay guys all the time in clubs, not because they are chick magnets, but because they are "safe" from the risk of an all night horndog pestering from a clueless guy(s) until the leave just for chatting up the wrong, but persistent loser, guy. Your friend may just be giving off that "safe" nice guy vibe. Nice guys finish without unless they have great friends like you and me. 😉
 
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BTW I don't know your friend, but your declaration of him being a chick magnet is incongruent with a few things you have referenced.

Chick magnets don't go months without sex typically because
1. Their wives know they are chick magnets and wouldn't dare to take the chance of leaving "their turf" vulnerable (she knows him best).
2. Chick magnets typically won't put up with it. There are exceptions but I haven't seen that continuing for even a month with all the Alpha's I know.
3. Women chat up gay guys all the time, not because they are chick magnets, but because they are "safe" from the risk of an all night horndog pestering until the leave for chatting up a clueless persistent loser. Your friend may just give off that "safe" nice guy vibe. Nice guys finish without unless they have great friends like you and me. 😉
Hah, well, he's complicated... its all complicated.

He's the type that is prone to worrying and guilt. He's probably more of an alpha-male wannabe. He talks the talk, he's competitive and he has a kind of mans-man demeanor. We've butted heads before but ultimately he always defers to me in the end. I'm like the older brother in the friendship, where he is always agonizing over sexless marriage, trying to buy a house, his relationship with his kids, etc. and looking for my advice. It almost never goes the other way. I'm just not that much of a worrier. In business, where we've worked together, Ive always been the lead guy too.

This guy's wife is totally clueless. They had a conversation recently where he finally was really direct with her, at my encouraging, and she basically reacted by telling him she felt that most women did not have much sex drive or want sex often and only did it because men pressured them. He had to try to educate her on the realities of the world and also explain how he thinks about sex all the time and it's becoming a problem.

I am not 100% sure why he puts up with it. I think it is a combination of fear of guilt and fear that she would divorce him and he'd miss out on seeing his kids. Although, I think the chances she would divorce him are pretty low. She is very complacent and I feel like she lacks the independence to follow through with that. But who knows....

He has admitted to a couple indiscretions in recent years but it only involved oral when he was on a business trip. He's actually never had intercourse with anyone but his wife.

The thing about both of them is they met in HS and married young. I think it sort of stunted their development and they're both sort of immature and inexperienced in a way.

I can tell you though, my wife knows I will not put up without sex for long and there have been times during dry spells (which for us has only ever been 2-3 weeks) which was mostly back when we had babies putting a damper on things, that I'd basically threaten I'd have to either rape her or find sex elsewhere soon haha. I mean, I always said it as a joke but I think we both knew it was only partially a joke. I really start to feel like I'm going to lose my mind if it's been too long. Who knows though, she'd admitted to having rape fantasies so maybe she was trying to make it happen.

3. Women chat up gay guys all the time, not because they are chick magnets, but because they are "safe" from the risk of an all night horndog pestering until the leave for chatting up a clueless persistent loser. Your friend may just give off that "safe" nice guy vibe. Nice guys finish without unless they have great friends like you and me.
Haha, I think you hit the nail on the head. He does have that safe nice-guy vibe and a friendly look. When we go out, women will just start talking to him or he'll easily catch their notice and strike up a conversation. Once he gets talking though, it is clear he is out of his depths and doesn't really know how to progress things anywhere as much as he might want to. I feel like if he went out 10 nights, he might talk to 30 women and only end up getting 1 into bed.

On the flip side, I guess I have "bitchy resting face" and people I've befriended in the past have said that they were initially intimidated. I can go out and unless I make an effort to approach women, it's pretty rare for anyone to talk to me (although I met my wife because I was walking across a crowded dance floor and she came up, grabbed my arm and pulled me over to dance with her, so I guess she saw something she liked). If I went out 10 nights trying to meet women, I might only actually talk to 5 but I'd end up fucking 4 of them. I'm like the closer - I'm bad at initiating but I'm good at reading people and figuring out how to talk to them and move things in the right direction.

What it comes down to is he's a chick magnet with no game. Being in a relationship out of high school, I think he just never learned those skills. I think part of the issue with his wife is he also really has no clue how to romance a woman and oh man, whenever he tries to dance it makes my wife laugh.
 
BTW he is probably the best you are going to find in the near-term. I'm talking near-term as waiting years to possibly find anyone who would be close to him in covering all the bases for both of you. I have never met a guy who estimated the difficulties of managing their conflicting emotions over their first threesome with a woman they love. I'm definitely including myself in that group because our first threesome could have gone far differently if it had not been with a trusted beta male mutual friend of ours. It could have been my first and last threesome with her. I shudder to think about never having had those wonderful experiences and cherished memories with her. Fortunately when i screwed up, because of our friends trusting relationship with me and us, and the type of understanding person he is, he graciously agreed to give it another try, which turned into 2 amazing days and nights of friendship, bonding, fun and great sex. Your friend meets those 2 most important criteria for you, like our friend. My recommendation is for you to first accept this reality unless you want to possibly wait a few more years. This is just the way it naturally works when you have standards, versus just accepting anyone to bump uglies.

Getting your wife to agree to him might not be as bad as you think (I always hesitate to predict women's reactions because it is a suckeres game). If you tell her, you have thought long and hard over this and you have decided he is the best guy for your first threesome. If you confidently tell her that he is the only guy you would feel comfortable sharing her with at this point because you wouldn't have to worry about him trying to steal her away from you like other guys would want to do because of what a fantastic woman she is and that you are so lucky to be her husband.

Play up his positives outside the bedroom such as he is a known entity who is safe and will be discrete (married guys are usually always very discrete) along with how she is serving the better good and doing his clueless wife a favor (rather than cheating) by giving him a safe outlet for his sexual needs versus having some homewrecker or other undesirable woman getting "their claws into him". This worked for me with one of my friends as dumb as it sounds when you write it down on paper. Tell her you think because you are all already friends it will be more relaxed for your first time.

He should become your only fantasy talk guy during sex going forward unless she objects obviously. Mention how he's always wanted her more than any other woman, that he is always commenting on her <fill in the blank with a physical feature of hers>, how he envies you, how giving she would be fulfilling a life long fantasy of his which few guys ever get to experience, how excited you will be seeing him inside her, have her imagine how excited and aroused he will be having sex with his ultimate fantasy woman, how amazing his orgasm will be for him inside her, etc.
 
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