Moral debate

[EastCoastLifest]

I have always admitted that I am no saint, but still have rules when it comes to playing with other men, and always with hubby's blessing. I have generally avoided having sex with married men, although I do know of one or two occasions where guys have been less than honest about that. But, recently, I've spent a lot of time chatting online with a man who is in his 60's and who has been open and honest about the fact that he is married, but his wife isn't interested in sex at all these days, and hasn't been for 10 or 12 years now. She doesn't know that he is looking elsewhere. If he was divorced, I'd been in like a shot, but as he is still married, says he still loves his wife but she is totally non physical, is it okay to meet up with him for sex? Is it still unfaithful of him, even with his wife's position? Just curious to know the views of others, both men and women.

 

[Teddy Long]

I’m in a similar position but in the end, he’d be cheating. And if you’re ok with it, then go for it. Otherwise just keep it to chat

 

[jaazhubby]

well welcome to the dilemma. I am not a home breaker..but yes I have been duped too. But I like men of that age as they have so much of experience to share and we can soak in their warm love 🙂
they are very honest. But yeah I would still prefer to be just a fun buddy to have a drink with but not be a home wrecker
====
Love Jaaz 💋
Your Labelle
My own thread that I monitor: https://www.wifewantstoplay.com/threads/exhibitonist-wife-love-strangers-dress-choices.52057/

 

[stubbyhubby]

Lisa still does. She has three local boyfriends that visit several times a week and all are married. They are all in their 40s and 50s and all of them have wives that refuse them sex. One even said fucking her has made his marriage better because instead of arguing with his wife over sex he just comes and fucks Lisa.

 

[EastCoastLifest]

Lisa still does. She has three local boyfriends that visit several times a week and all are married. They are all in their 40s and 50s and all of them have wives that refuse them sex. One even said fucking her has made his marriage better because instead of arguing with his wife over sex he just comes and fucks Lisa.

I have heard that argument before and it does kind of make sense, a marriage saver rather than a marriage breaker.

 

[Jeanswatcher]

Most of my cuckoldresses lovers have been married, they are the best ones in our experience as they are unlikely to become emotionally attached to her and also unlikely to talk as they have more to loose than we have.

All the chaps that we have met have wanted my wife, most openly saying they are married, the simple fact is if a married man wants to have sex outside their marriage then they will with someone anyway.

My view is his wife should have kept him satisfied, i appreciate her sex drive may have gone but surely she should know his hasnt and even if its only a handjob......occasionally.

One of my cuckoldresses lovers a married man was practically encouraged to have a lover by his wife, we were sure she knew, he said she didnt. But after many years it turned out that on the occasions he was laid in our marital bed she had her lover in theirs and her lover was female......

 

[dickhurtz]

Most of my cuckoldresses lovers have been married, they are the best ones in our experience as they are unlikely to become emotionally attached to her and also unlikely to talk as they have more to loose than we have.

All the chaps have wanted my wife, most openly saying they are married and the simple fact is if a married man wants to have sex outside their marriage then they will with someone anyway.

My view is his wife should have kept him satisfied, i appreciate her sex drive may have gone but surely she should know his hasnt and even if its only a handjob......occasionally.

One of my cuckoldresses lovers a married man was practically encouraged to have a lover, we were sure she knew, he said she didnt. But after many years it turned out that on the occasions he was laid in our marital bed she had her lover in theirs and her lover was female......

initially, my wife was reluctant to meet with married guys. while i understood her reluctance, she was assessing the situation through her eyes. Meaning, she would be, royally, pissed if i cheated.

i asked her why she feels she should be more concerned about his marriage than he is. if he chooses to cheat that is his decision, not yours.

 

[owlmale]

What if a husband can`t perform isn`t okay for a friend to satisfy is wife or would that be cheating. Asking for a friend.

 

[wantuinstocking]

What if the wife cannot perform (for instance if she had a stroke) and the husband has a need for sex with a woman, but doesn't want to discuss it with her for fear of upsetting her?
(Someone whose wife became very sick and could not perform, encouraged her husband to find another woman to have sex with. At first he was very reluctant, eventually he found an understanding woman who was very happy to satisfy him.)

 

[Berta698]

If you're asking the question, you already know the answer. And if you're asking the question, you're not cut out to fuck a married man. You'll end up hating yourself. My suggestion...don't do it.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

My wife has fucked a lot of married men, including some of my friends and the husbands of some of her friends (without their knowledge). The way she rationalises it is that if they’re willing to cheat with her, they’d be willing to cheat with someone else. At least with her, she isn’t looking for anything other than sex and she isn’t going to blab about it later. Then again, she cheated on her first husband all the time so she’s never set much store in marital fidelity herself.
The way I see it is that you’re not responsible for someone else’s moral choices and in many cases you don’t know the full story of their situation anyway. And of course, people may lie about their relationship status as well. So what others do, in the end is their choice.
James

 

[Nick1477]

Out of all the guys my wife has slept with I'd say 75% are married. She'll only go with them if they don't have sex at home. They all seem to say the same at their age (50-60) roughly that their wives are no longer interested in sex. She knows there's no 100% way of knowing for sure but they do seem genuine.

 

[Dejouk]

I’m in my early 60’s and married in a sexless marriage.
Have been in this lifestyle for many years and always made the other couple/lady aware I was married. It never posed a problem and I don’t class it as cheating.

Bus as always in this lifestyle, everyone has to be comfortable with it.
Just don’t tell my wife 😀

 

[Ht805cpl]

I say go for it, me I don’t care if he is married or not, if I’m attracted and he’s a good fuck I’m in, the up side of married men they are not into a relationship, and they know how to keep their mouths shut! All plus for married men, I know in the swinging world most women or. Couples are not into married men or those cheating, for us if he’s interesting bring it on,

 

[lyndawaybi3]

I say go for it, too. Why not?

 

[kumabear75]

I have always admitted that I am no saint, but still have rules when it comes to playing with other men, and always with hubby's blessing. I have generally avoided having sex with married men, although I do know of one or two occasions where guys have been less than honest about that. But, recently, I've spent a lot of time chatting online with a man who is in his 60's and who has been open and honest about the fact that he is married, but his wife isn't interested in sex at all these days, and hasn't been for 10 or 12 years now. She doesn't know that he is looking elsewhere. If he was divorced, I'd been in like a shot, but as he is still married, says he still loves his wife but she is totally non physical, is it okay to meet up with him for sex? Is it still unfaithful of him, even with his wife's position? Just curious to know the views of others, both men and women.

Hi @EastCoastLifest, interesting question. I suppose it boils down to how rules-based you are. Obviously, there is the whole traditional boundary of whether it’s cheating. Many years ago, I would have sided with the puritans and said it is cheating. Full stop.

However, having now matured, seen a lot more of life and coming from a similar situation to this guy you’re talking about – a marriage with zero intimacy in more than a decade – it can get pretty lonely. If you are genuinely thinking about this (and given that you’ve posted, it’s a temptation), talk it over with hubby and if he’s ok, lay out some ground rules and take it step by step. If there’s one whiff of something fishy, then walk away.

If you’re wondering whether it’s cheating then, from my perspective no. Experience has altered my once puritan perspective, so for me now cheaters are those who have something, but choose to fuck someone else anyway. In this guy’s case, it sounds like all the other pieces of his life are in place, there’s just one thing missing and you could help him out.

 

[Lynnandhubby]

I say go for it, me I don’t care if he is married or not, if I’m attracted and he’s a good fuck I’m in, the up side of married men they are not into a relationship, and they know how to keep their mouths shut! All plus for married men, I know in the swinging world most women or. Couples are not into married men or those cheating, for us if he’s interesting bring it on,

Couldn’t agree more.
J.

 

[JMNBABE]

If I lost interest in sex, and my wife still needed that comfort in her life, I would not expect her to give it up because I have.........should work both ways. The good part about this is he still loves her, and isn't looking for a reason to leave her, just the pleasentness of being desired and have his sexual needs taken care of (jerking off only goes so far!!)., there is ntohing to be concerned about regarding him trying to chnge your marital situation. I say gie the gentleman what he needs, as regularly as he needs it.
My wife's affairs have almost all been with married Lovers, mostly co-workers and 2 of her Bosses. It keeps things focused on the fun and excitement of the affair, and not on the complexity of potentially ruining an otherwise good marriage. The one relationship she had that came close to breaking us up was with a guy who was married but not living with his wife; she was a severe alcoholic and they had separated but never bothered to divorce. When it became obvious she was nto going to survive, wife got very emotionally involved with him also and that almost broke us up. Both of us admit it was only because of our ...... that we did not divorce....and to be perfectly honest, our relationship ahs not been the same since. Good, but not AS good.....married guys can be a lot safer than single guys.

CW

 

[Catholic_Wife]

I have always admitted that I am no saint, but still have rules when it comes to playing with other men, and always with hubby's blessing. I have generally avoided having sex with married men, although I do know of one or two occasions where guys have been less than honest about that. But, recently, I've spent a lot of time chatting online with a man who is in his 60's and who has been open and honest about the fact that he is married, but his wife isn't interested in sex at all these days, and hasn't been for 10 or 12 years now. She doesn't know that he is looking elsewhere. If he was divorced, I'd been in like a shot, but as he is still married, says he still loves his wife but she is totally non physical, is it okay to meet up with him for sex? Is it still unfaithful of him, even with his wife's position? Just curious to know the views of others, both men and women.

We (couple) are normally well behaved or inclined to act with good principles and "moral" towards other people.

But when it comes to sex the lines turn to blurry to say the least. And it is hard to explain or admit sometimes, but that's plain reality for us and many known people.

Wife has affairs with married men (maybe they are mostly married). Husband had affairs with married women in the past. The moral issue and sometimes even a fraction of guilty comes to our minds but we simply...keep going. Don't matter what, religion, philosophy, reflections or therapy, the weight of sexual desires and intimate preferences are just prevalent in our cases.

So, you might go for it. Just take care not to expose or involve yourself so much at point of breaking your inner peace.

 

[LetMePlay2]

I have always admitted that I am no saint, but still have rules when it comes to playing with other men, and always with hubby's blessing. I have generally avoided having sex with married men, although I do know of one or two occasions where guys have been less than honest about that. But, recently, I've spent a lot of time chatting online with a man who is in his 60's and who has been open and honest about the fact that he is married, but his wife isn't interested in sex at all these days, and hasn't been for 10 or 12 years now. She doesn't know that he is looking elsewhere. If he was divorced, I'd been in like a shot, but as he is still married, says he still loves his wife but she is totally non physical, is it okay to meet up with him for sex? Is it still unfaithful of him, even with his wife's position? Just curious to know the views of others, both men and women.

A factor here that must be included is mental health on the part of the wife. Not a broad paint brush here, but rather how can a healthy adult female decide that her spouse does not warrant having intimacy any longer? Intimacy is necessary to be normal, it is how we were made. If there is no ...... in the mix, then how can one partner decide I am done and so are you? Rather selfish and a product of a person who is not rational or loving. If it is a physical impairment, then the spouse needs to be given latitude to exercise his human right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Medication or physiological issues such as a stroke may in capacitate one of the partners, but upon return to health, what prevents return to emotional health? We’re I to suggest counseling and bring up the topic of my needs not being met, the sympathy still favors with the wife based on menopause it is presumed.
In conclusion, I am a cheater, a demanding self serving husband, a horny old man or pervert by societal views. Never a victim of a lack of intimacy and affection.