It sounds like you both are in agreement with your activities but your barrier is a social one rather than an intimate one.We think we're going to take a backward step at least for a while. A lot happened quickly and it got a little out of hand to be honest. Other neighbors are asking about the car and where we went but worse my sister-in-law saw us at dinner and wanted to what was going on. I had to lie and say I was wooing a potential investor for my business. Luckily she only saw us through the window because if she saw what I was wearing there would have been no way to explain it away. She wasn't totally convinced, she thought I was cheating and only accepted it after she spoke to my hubby (her brother). That scare was too much to handle.
We have agreed that I can keep seeing my lover but we just have to be much much much more discreet. I'm not sure I will though because he's young and impetuous and I'm now worried he might want to brag about his 'conquest'. I can seek other lovers if I want but the same rules apply, absolute discretion. I feel much more comfortable in this scenario. We'll see how it goes.
I really enjoyed what happened but I wish it had of been more considered. Looking back it was so close to being a disaster. Even though hubby and I are comfortable with this there is no way I'm coming out to family and friends.
For this reason, many poly couples do take other precautions than to 'date' locally where they can be seen by judgmental eyes.