Sorry for the delay.
1st let me start by saying the only person who is control of a woman's pussy is the woman. PERIOD. FULL STOP.
That being said to participate in this lifestyle there is a level of trust, as in honor amongst thieves.
My late wife and I had an agreement, I get right of 1st refusal. BUT that doesn't mean she wouldn't have violated that agreement, we never got there as I always said yes, no matter who, when or where. Of course the question that begs itself to be asked is If she was free to do whoever she wanted why would she hide it, especially knowing the fallout that would ensue should it come to light?
In a normal marriage and a committed relationship for that matter, there is an inherent expectation of fidelity. That fidelity extends beyond sex to honesty and trust.
My ladyfriend is similarly open about who she fucks. It is an odd relationship, it; isn't romantic, it's is sexual and we are open with all things sexual. She's single and dates. She fucks most guys on the 1st date. And there are times i encourage her to even if she's not sure she wants to. Again there is no need to hide it.
One needs to ask ones' self: If you're in this lifestyle and your woman is hiding it ask yourself, WHY?